LCC vows to close down illegal beer halls
Kantemba selling home brewed beer among other things
The Lusaka City Council says it has intensified its fight against illegal beer trading in markets and bus stations in the city.
Council Public Relations Officer Henry Kapata says a combined team of council and state police will soon move in to confiscate all liquor brands being sold in market places, because the practice is against the New Market Act.
Mr. Kapata told ZANIS in an interview that the council has in the past few days conducted inspections in Lusaka’s Kaunda Square Stage One and Two and Kabwata markets, where the council closed eight shops and confiscated alcoholic beverages.
Mr. Kapata said that the problem was rampant in Kaunda Square Stage Two, adding that his team will continue closing illegal taverns and pubs, in an effort to correct the situation.
Mr. Kapata has further advised opaque beer breweries to scrutinize their clients’ wholesale traders licenses
oil drum used to brew kachasu
to ascertain whether they are authentic or not and to also find out where their retailers sell the opaque beer.
He said the city council would soon sought assistance from the Lusaka liquor licensing Board to revoke trading permits granted to all traders who will be found flouting bye-laws governing the operations of beer halls.
Mr. Kapata additionally warned bus conductors selling brandy, tota-packs in mini-buses, adding that the council was aware of the trend and that the culprits caught would be dealt with severely.
No related posts.
Number 1 not sony ericson today
Nice move, but why do you keep on failing?
Please LCC do it as soon as possible.How I wish you did that before Njombwinjo’s scandal.
Good did i mention i luv Lavelle Brandy from DGM Zambia now thats good stuff.
=d> #1!
No discrimination, pull every one including those of top people
Sony Ericsony am now worried.pipo say fish affects eyes,little did I know that even rats(mbeba) can affect pipo’s sight.Iam number one my friend.Sorry try next time
Eish, can it be done! Kaunda Square stage one is like sodom and gomorrah LOL
:-w:-w
#7 one day we can enjoy mbeba together in state house
#4 lavelle brandy is the stuff, also gin in tota packs! :d/
matworld and sony ericsson phiri you should brew a special mbeba mix – a modernised kachasu special! With fish!
Am back. Did anyone miss me? Nobody, well too bad. LCC deliberately lets situations get out of hand before acting. Alcohol has been sold in market and other public trading places for many many decades and nobody seemed to think about doing anything about it. For once I hope that Kapata will not just be all talk and no action.
welcome back Lusaka we did miss you
not only LCC all councils in great ZED stop this illegal trading of beer especially in town ships there is alot of lawlessness in this regard.its like there is no one to collect the situation.this is not animal farm ,we can’t study or read and you are there saying zambians have poor leading cuture,how can one lead with the kind of noise from drinking places eg chimwemwe township in kitwe . %-(%-(
#10 Ba sony Ericson Phiri,you mean you have not heard what has haapened.Anyway let me tell you since I care abut you so much.RB has been summoned by the Animal governing body,for killing small animals like MBEBA.they found tones of mbeba mu state house.So baba stop dreaming just come ku Luapula for fish.That is the reason why RB has decided to close these beer halls.its like someone from those places reported him.
Just leave them,how are they going to survive if you close their businesses?
Ba lusaka where did you go.we missed you thank God you are still alive we thought that you are one of those pipo who died after eating poisonous wild roots.
This will be a great move by LCC.
We cant have a country where young able bodied youths drink bear all day without having time to do any thinking for their future.
They beg money and take it for drinking, then they turn round and blame the goverment for their problems.
When their friends engage in creative activities like making crafts, doing some selling for their living all they do is get drunk.
Also we have people who work in the civil service knocking off to go and show off their dubiously acquired cash and newly acquired second hand cars. This must be reduced, our ways of life must shift if we are to develop our country. Getting so drunk will give you no better idea thank demos.
Sony, tell them something about eastern burger. Mbeba ni zee, yuo cant compare mbeba with litapi(imbowa).
ah #16 I see… I missed the mbeba feast. Will visit you in Luapula am sure
#19 correction..
Getting so drunk will give you no better idea than demos.
#20 Glad you also appreciate eastern burger! I predict RB is going to bring mbeba tax like LPM brought bicycle tax – so I need to diversify my diet bwana…
#15 Talking about the poor reading culture. The other day I needed to buy a story book for my 9yr old son in Bookworld. The price on that thin book – a local product I might add – disappointed me very much. So as long as books are priced beyond our means, we will continue not reading and continue watching ma videos mu ghetto.
#14 Thanks for missing me bro
#8 Sweet Thang, you are right KSquare Stage 1 is the worst. So, how soon is CC moving in? Sometimes they just talk, to impress people.
I was actually thinking of opening one myself. There’s quick money
Good move, they are a nuisence
#25 you are right sister if there’s one thing the nation spends money on it is drinking. In the world league of beer consumption Zambia was once second place after Germany…
My Sista #25 we’ll start one! I don’t thing they’ll ever stop them! they tried with ba kaponya and they are back in the streets like nothing happened.
Ba Rashid my bro you don’t know what you are missing my bro.you cant compare mbeba ku nsomba.nsomba nizii.My mum is from eastern province,after she eating fish,she even applyed for luapula citizen ship.
Matworld nsomba iliko kumawa, like that one muu that is very tasty
#18 Am not about to die, at least not just yet. I had a project to do out of town that kept me busy for a while. Not yet reached the level of eating poisonous somethings that need to be boiled for at least 12hrs before they can be eaten.
Yaba
Beer drinking is one of the biggest causes of an productivity in Zambia.
Until we reach a level of being responsible to oursselves we will not see meaninful development.
And because of our reluctancy in analysing issues, we will continue to accuse authority for each of our problems even those which come as a result of our own making. I would never say that govt is never responsible for some of our problem, but to get drunk, fail to think run out of begged money and blame the govt for that is being below irational.
Drunkards are the first people to take to the street for any demos that take place.
If Bill Gates was busy drinking, the govt of USA was not going to develop software for him.
At the cocktail party, one man said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.”
LCC should also close down the bars in residential areas. In Kamwala, Lusaka, some houses were turned into bars. I am not sure whether this is still the situation. I have a relative whose house is neighbours to such a bar. It’s so noisy, you cant sleep peacefully. Some of the things that happen in Zambia are just lawlessness, both on the part of LCC and residents.
#33Fine. What do you do?
Ba Lusaka it was one way of welcoming you,dont lose your temper.I was just joking my brothet/sister.Iam so sorry if at all I have offended you.
#34 Pumpy. That is very funny.
Here is another one.
A man was asked if he had ever considered divorce in his 40 years of marriage.
He mused “Hmm, divorce? No, never, may be murder”
“Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a
fax to my wife saying that I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man’s arms.
“Why, Dad? Tell me why!”
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, and then coolly
said, ” Son, Maybe she didn’t get the fax
What LCC and the govt should do is to move all kinds of bars/drinking places very far away from business centre areas and residential areas and create what we can call ‘Beer Drinking Centre’.
This must be far off town, so that from any place to this beer centre someone has to border a bus or drive their to go and drink.
The distance from any residentail or business area to such drinking places should be equal or greater than that from Lusaka main Post Office to Lusaka international airport.
This will mean that only those that really want to drink should take the trouble. In this way you reduce alcohol abuse by children, school kids, unemployed youth, and unproductive employees.
#37 No offense at all at all. Is just that am commiserating with our relatives in Southern province who are dying because of wild roots. I don’t know if LT picked this story but just the other day 2 children died after they ate some roots which their mother was boiling when she went to fetch water. No am not offended
mmm #40 Fine that’s a bit extreme… what about legitimate drinking places in town e.g. Intercontinental Hotel or Rhapsodys? They are generating large amounts of revenue and providing many jobs… Do you want Sharia law? oro chani?
A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said,
“When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog
brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
“Why complain?” said the counsellor.
“You’re still getting the same service!”
**==**==Nafipena pa Zed
#36. Pump
I do many things except drinking.
#39 Pumpy. That tickled me.
Some girl was complaining to a friend
” He said he can’t leave his wife because of children” the friend remarked “Oh poor thing, they must have plenty of them” She answered, “No, they are trying to have some”
#43, eeeeh, why was the guy complaining? Good response from the counsellor
#45. I asked coz I ve observed in some your comments that you do not sympathize with what majority of Zambians are going thru, you seem to not care about the least of the people. You seem to be calous. Am sorry but thats my opinion of you from your comments.
Sweet thang , are you from kaunda square stage one?
#46. Good one
The wise have said “give a man a fish & u’ll feed him for a day but teach him how to fish & u’ll feed him for life”, the young generation opt for being fed for a day by begging for money & end up at these illegal places. Livingstone City Council is another culprit that has legalised smuggled alcohol to be sold at the Town Centre Market. The amount of smuggled alcohol at this market could improve the monthly targets for Customs in L,stone. Anyway it’s a cartel that involves Councillors, Senior Police Officers, Customs Officers and at one time the Southern Province Minister who used to ferry the alcohol in his colleagues night travelling luxury buses.
lol no #49. chamba valley, i live in chamba valley. but K square is local!
;;)baby c
LT. whats up?
i’ve got a joke – i’m bemba but i had to laugh:
A young man was on a bus going from one town to another. Suddenly it became hot inside and he said”
Ba conductor isuleniko amawindows otherwise we will fornicate.
WHAT HE WANTED TO SAY WAS SUFFOCATE. HE WAS BEMBA
Can’t wait to screw my workmate after 4pm! :d/
Mr kapata has said that several times and yet nothing has ever been done.He enjoys being in the limelight.Tell us something else please. ;;)
#48. Pumpy,
I am more concerned about the suffering of many than most of the people. You want to use this same group of people who are already suffering to use them for the interest of the few. These same suffering people are normally use to sacrifice for few selfish individuals.
And when you support some of these oposition politicians dont think that then you are being considerate to the suffering. I will tell you that I dont support some of your opposition leaders because i am concerned about the suffering of the many zambians which would get worse if they came to power.
So, to think that if I dont support you leader or your view then i have no concern about the poor is a myth.
Friday njikata, am signing out
#48. Pumpy,
For example when you call for your demos, the people that will suffer most as a consquence are the same poor people. You, Pumpy, you may even have good education that can take you out of the country to work elsewhere should things go out of hand. These people may not have the slightest capacity of doing that, so thay will suffer within and die from such consequences. You support your views because you love the poor, so you say. Well, I also labour to support and defend my views because of my love for the same poor. Our ultimate desire seems to be the same, but we differ on methods. I dont believe in politicians that messed us for 10 years then change language to decieve us, No!
#49 Chamba Valley. I am from KSQ Stage 1. The whole of Southern Africa, I think KSQ Stage 1, has the most bars and tarvens. The music is so loud and it plays the whole day and night. I dont move around much, but its too much.
I’m praying that LCC can for once be serious and maybe after they’ve closed down all the illegal beer halls, they can start sweeping the dirty streets of Lusaka City
Zambia has become a lawless country. The law enforcement officers are impotent. The free for all kind of attitude prevailing in Zambia is shocking. Councils must bring some sanity to this sorry state of affairs.
#55 what became hot? was it in the bus or in his pair of trousers? he might have mearnt what he said. Anyway nice joke. i thought it was only our RB who is good at jokes.
I asked Baby C yesterday whether s/he called in gay day yesterday?
I want to know whether the world came to a stand still because gays did not report for work yesterday #32 and any one else in the states (thats where its supposed to have happened)can you edcûcate us?
Sister – LOL its true, there is no hour that you go to K sqaure and its quiet! I think its the essence of beer drinkers! Its like life is a giant beer hall! %-(
Iwe #55 it was not a Bemba but wa kumawa.Don’t forget that you are in the same country with Sony ericson Phiri.The person who said that Ni sony Ericson Phiri.Ha ha ha haha!!.anyway that was a nice one.
A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention
to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How
devoted they are? He kisses
her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
“I would love to.” Replied the husband. “But
I don’t know her well enough.”
A boy gets on a bus from Kitwe heading to Lusaka . He is alone and only 10 years old. His name? Mulenga Mwamba Makasa. When the bus reaches outskirts of Kitwe he shouts, “ba driver bushe uku tufikile niku Kabwe? Ayi ba driver?” The driver shouts back, “awe mwaice wandi teku Kabwe iyo”. The bus reaches Kapiri and the boy shouts the same question and he keeps on doing this for each stop. The driver annoyed, asks the boy to sit next to him and promises to tell him when they reach Kabwe.
The bus reaches Chisamba and the boy asks, “ba driver kuno ni ku Kabwe bushe?” The driver realises he forgot to tell the boy that they were in Kabwe when they reached the town. Concerned passengers castigate th
Concerned passengers castigate the driver for his insensitivity and lack of parental care. They demand that the boy be taken to Kabwe since there would be people waiting to meet him. A quick vote favours the return to Kabwe and off the bus goes…back to Kabwe.
In Kabwe the boy asks and he is told that indeed he is in Kabwe. His face beams with joy and he removes a dump newspaper wrapped parcel to reveal some cassava tubers and roasted groundnuts. He munches away happily. The amused passengers ask the boy for a name of who is coming to meet him and he asnwers, “Ba tata munono ba shi Kangwa Mulenga baleyisa mukunsenda nga twafika mu Lusaka !” The confused bus driver asks the boy why he was
The confused bus driver asks the boy why he was so keen to know which town was Kabwe and he answers, “Ba mayo bachilanda ati, ndye tutee nembalala, nganafika mu Kabwe!”
:d:d
#66 ala but you are right it was me, I do enjoy that activity too much!
What will the government replace this ancient brew with? This policy should be executed with caution. Will all forms of traditional brew be banned, as they are various sorts with varying methods of brewing? In some villages for centuries this has been the sole provider of beer, and it is respected and not abused. care should be taken by those who can afford expensive whiskeys and ban the brew that some major sectors of our communities rely on. What the government should do is explore ways of making kachasu safer and standardise the process. I do not not what diference a well proced Kachasu drink will have from a bottle og Gin. It is the same stuff!!
Fine does evrything else but drinking, meaning maule amadonsa, fwaka abema(chamba inclusive),amaba etc.
zambians just drink to much,wheather at arcades or other drinking places.u try guys
There is no point in saying one is aware of a practice, but choses to sit back instead of acting on those totapaks sellers.Rhetoric, and wasted of breath
Now back to the topic, I dont support drunkeness in anyway.
My view that there be a beer centre which could be situated far off town and residences for all our town is what I stand for. Tell me what good beer has brought to anyone who drinks it. It most probably has robed them of sanity at one point or the other or it has robed them of money and time.
I can assure you that companies would not become scarce just because of a reduction in beer. Intelligent owners will always have enginuity; look at Zambia breweries, they already have acquired Zambia botlers meaning that even others as they see business decline, they will look at diversification or complete alternatives.
am out for my weekend drinks.castle na mosi
#69, 70, 71. You ve made me laugh, i nearly urinated!
#78 Fine each to his own please brother/sister
Nanga waleta nkhani ya majoko nibani? Ba Moze mulikuni? 17 yafendera tiyende tisheking’eko we.
#80. pumpy!he he! Glad you liked it! I’ve got more, but i’ll save them for another day.. and matworld and ichipwa, the bus became hot!! Get your minds out the gutta!
A man was telling his friends, “When my wife is
infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.” One of his friends asked.” And when you are angry, what do you do?”
The man replied, “I also shout angrily at the windows
and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
=d> nice one!
LT pliz another topic
Rashid
Wakamba Mushe, Friday njikata, Saturday ndekelako, Sunday ntwala ku church
#75. Rashid Jones,
The calibre of your contribution needs much to be desired.
In my statement I said I do MANY things except beer.
Now, to you ‘many’ means all and you go concluding and attempting to analyse but failing.
When someone says I do MANY things EXCEPT drinking, it simply means among the many things he does drinking is not one of them.
It does not mean someone does everything except drinking, No.
Now, it is this level of analysis you bring about that when you face a global economic crisis and the fall of copper prices which has leader to prices of other goods rising all you can contribute is a ‘demo’. Oh my!
rse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m
doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting Gonorrea;
which is why I came here in the first place.”
#71. sweet thang Ndiwe waku Chipata iwe.you are not a Bemba anyway you have made my day.please continue efyo ndefwaya ifi.
LOL Matworld, i’m searching for more.. tell Pumpy to spill some too! I love bantu baku Chipata, but i’m from bemba land!
No Sweet Thang continue pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase am on my knees begging you.napapata Lesa akupale wemwana musuma.
Sony
You are right. Are in MEGO state as well?? :-<
ok Matworld – did you see the one on #88?
Sony
You are right. Are you in MEGO state as well???
Sweet thung how are you???
I’m fine baby C! Bored as hell, but its good to be chatting with you guys! hehe! Are you ok today Baby C?
Medical Distinction
We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below…
GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’
BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: ‘You’re next.’
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome,
Pumpy please guys the topics today on LT are somehow boring so tesekesheniko mwe bantu ba kwa LESA.blessed are those who make pipo laugh out loud for their is a golden crown in Heaven
…since both ultimately result in death.
:d/
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her
husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my
husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I
called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.
“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?”
The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Paul.”
Oh God my ribs will break today.Please continue Iam enjoying myself.Today is my Day at least not everyone is making me sad.
=));)[-(
sweet thang I lived in chamba valley as well, right near Astaldi before the turnoff to to chamba valley basic.
I don’t like the way the Self employed are harrased in Zed. People should offer solutions before putting others out of business.It’s Friday….I know weekend special……..
=))Twakula minwa ba Lusaka City Council? Leave the secretes of Distilation alone. Is this the first time you are seeing that it’s areality in Zambia?
#100. Ba pumpy ako kakali.guys we can do the same as well.
LMAO – Funny Pumpy!! Chamba Valley, i live in the same direction, but further down!
Thanks Matworld
News just reaching us indicates that a certain Zambian Chewa tailor has been arrested by the FBI in the USA and will be sent to Guantanamo Bay in the next few days. Our correspondent indicates that the FBI rounded up a flat, where they found people of many nationalities, asking them their professions.
“I am a journalist,” said a Ghanaian.
“I am a dentist,” said someone from Cuba.
“I am a biologist,” said a South African.
“I am a geologist,” replied an Egyptian.
Thinking that every profession must end with -ist the Chewa tailor replied: “I am a telalist.”
So the FBI arrested the Chewa tailor, thinking he was a terrorist. FBI chief, Martin Rodger has confirmed the reports saying that the
Fine adya mulilo lelo, safuna mansense because ba uncle bake ba AKA anabapasa nchito mailo kuli nyama Soya lundani. Anyway its your day my brother so continue kunama banzako. Lelo tizautila moba, kwasala chabe pang’ono meanwhile sweat thang pitiliza namajoko yako kaili ni friday.
So the FBI arrested the Chewa tailor, thinking he was a terrorist. FBI chief, Martin Rodger has confirmed the reports saying that there are strong indications that he might have links to Al Quaeda. Zambian ambassador in New York could not be reached for comment as he is attending the U.N. General assembly in New York.
ku sewage, justo mwale or kwa gripisi
chamba valley – now that would be giving away too much info..
The lunch time award goes to Sweet thang. Welmome to the blog. Am sure you will brighten up things on this blog. I have been having my launch and I nearly chocked on your jokes.
FATHERING PROBLEM
“You look troubled,” I told my friend,
“what’s your problem?”
He replied, “I’m going to be a father.”
“But that’s wonderful,” I said.
“What’s wonderful? My wife doesn’t know about it yet.”
but if we’re still blogging in the near future i’ll meet you in K square for a drink!
why not meet in a place that shares our flag
Thank you Sarah! Glad you like them! I’m pacing myself! Pls enjoy your lunch, and don’t choke!!
We girls must stick together!!
LOL @ 110/111!!!! Telalist ha ha ha!
chamba valley you are very clever! where are you?
=))
hey Sara Jones
Whats up!!!
Sweet thung
You ve really made my day!!!!! go on! I want to laugh more!
up north, west of sheffield, and east of liverpool , north of birmingham, south west of leeds. Home of granada tv.
Awe Sony Ericson Mbuya wanga mutaeko nzelu you pipo from Eastern.Don’t forget that Ignorance has no defence.How can he say terrorist sure,and yet the guy was very innocent.Bangwila
Bloggers
Have you heard of a new employment act???
LOVE YOUR ENEMY
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and
said, “One month after I die I want you to marry Sammy.”
“Sammy! But he is your enemy!”
“Yes, I know that! I’ve suffered all these
years so let him suffer now.”
I might know you!! This is funny!
i doubt that highly because i don’t know any lusakans especially vallyians. what letter does your last name end with and first name first letter
Fine you have given up?
Baby C is that the beginning of a joke?
Pumpy and sweet thang kuti mwasekesha abantu pa cililo.I almost pee.
a and m.. are you in the UK now?
This is for you Baby C and all the ladies on the blogg :*
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this…
‘Looking for man with these qualifications; won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.”
So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?”
Bob replies, “I rang the door bell didn’t I?”
Am glad you enjoyed the jokes Matworld. Will be out soon, have to go home and change into something more comfortable am going dancing Jellele in Downtown later in the night.
Baby c!! Ahhh, its friday!
I enjoy home brewed munkoyo but it begins to taste suspicious after staying in the clay pot for 7 days ~o)
Last i checked am still in this hell hole send me an email king_icho-at-yahoo.com and i’ll give you a call right now
MgNaAlg5(Si4O10)3(OH – he he! You funny! Pumpy shake a tailfeather for me!! 3 more hours to go!
Sony
Just answer yes or no??
Matworld -Nice guy!
have you sorted out your problem??….
#134. Thanks
no… mmm LT chinja topiki pliz….
chamba valley — will do! i hear you bout the hell hole! Its hella freezing too!
PF Die hard
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! thanx :-j see how happy iam???
last one..
When my parents were telling me that bembas are crazy, I thought they were
joking now I believe, try shibukeni, how can you mistake push to a cat?
Educated Easterner.
A Pregnant Bemba Woman was taken to hospital. While in labor the Doctor
was shouting to her “PUSH, PUSH”. Then the woman says,”WHAT!!!!!!!!????????,
Nga ni Pushi kanshi nshapape
Mmm Baby C you look HAPPY!
LT
Your news has become stale! whats happening?? should we log out or…wait a little bit?????
i’ll be waiting
LOL 146 that could be quite a naughty one if you think about it
Sony
oh yessss! and you?? your usual… :d
:d the pub in 3 hours it is too long my dear…
<:-p
that one doesn’t work LT the party one…
Sweet thung
Uleufwa!!! i didnt know you were this…naughty
A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow’s final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member’s death. One smart ass, male student said, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?”, and the whole classroom burst into laughter.
After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, “Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write.”
#127 Pumpy.
Barak Obama has pointed quite a good number of people who worked with Bill Clinton into his new admin.
Michell, Obama’s wife, warned him, “It’s ok with me you have appointed all these guys. But if you let Monica Lewinsky come near the White House, you are dead meat!!!!”
for sweet thang: you know what happened to our famous footballer; he walked into a scottish pub and found a place at the bar. two other guys were there ordering thier drinks. first one goes, johnny walker-double; jack daniels-double; and then it was his turn and he went collins mbesuma-single
134…you’re the man!!
Pumpy please don’t go napapata sana.Baby C not yet i just wat to give up.yesterday she even switched off the phone.Iam really troubled my sister.that is why am enjoying the jokes.But she has made me realise that most of girls love thugs not decent guys.I have really tried my level best to make her happy but its like all my efforts are in vain.I guess i just have to concetrate on my studies.God will bless me with someone who will love me the way I will love her.Why is it that girls love ficakolwa than fwebatuntulu,may be I should start ukucilisha naine.
MgNaAlg5(Si4O10)3(OH
=))
see you guys are all funny!! Kasimbi i’m the chick! Female empowerment!! LOL baby c – have to be naughty once in a while! Matworld if your woman ain’t treating you right kick her to the curb!! Chamba valley – i’ve sent you mail so call a girl!
Matworld -Nice guy
Anyway mwandi, maybe the bottom line is , you were never meant to be.
Remain decent its not worth it. Someday, you will find someone who will truly love you. Never give up!!
How do you pronounce MgNaAlg5(Si4O10)3(OH is it Magnesium sodium Almunium silicate Hydroxide? . My a-level chemistry is rusty because i did it 5 years ago
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you $5 you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
icho – Chamba valley you are smart!
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.” The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your Grandma.”
Mat world – Nice guy
I meant remain decent, Ukichilisha nako, its not worth it.
MgNaAlg5(Si4O10)3(OH,Mrs Rashid,and sweet thang please reduce,but dont stop I will wait my pants.LOL Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):)):))
:d
#130. Pumpy,
I thought you have modified the topic to suit what the majority can identify with and understand, which does not need any analysis?
I can see that majority are now happy with the modifications you have made to that topic by simply turning it into a ‘joke’.
This is very easy for most of the guys because now they dont have to be troubled with any analysis but just lough and roll.
pumpy u have really some of us happy and we were glued to our computers like we were busy workingnot knowing we were laughing and reading your jokes thanks:”>
166 uchita chani ku engi?
#157. Thats a good one.
:d
Baby C Thanks for you concern,but why is life like this.I have asked myself this question many times today,unfortunately I have no answer.
#171 Fine the topic has long since been overanalysed we are just waiting for a new one. Meanwhile why don’t you tell us a joke?
#172 Kay. Thanks i also enjoyed jokes from the other guys.
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil worshipper? (dyslexic is someone who has problems spelling)
ni sevensa! naga iwe?
>-
MgNaAlg5(Si4O10)3(OH,Mrs Rashid,Pumpy,UK-ZED observer and Sweet thang when you blog out I will organise a protest/demostration.
i have noticed that shabins are not listed,only beer hall and tarvens….this is discrimination.they only close chibuku and shake shake sales ba mosi, castle and other nima untouchables????
He sold his soul to Santa
usebenza kuti uli how many years old. Ine ndine lova
#160. I sympathise with you. May be you should go after decent girls. Decent girls want decent men, like you. Go for those who can say YES to you.
As for the Lord, He jealously protects his children. The Most important criteria is your love for God himself. He will not give you a daughter of his that you will cause to love Him less, or one whom you yourself will cause her to love God less. So first things first, Love God with all your heart. A wife who loves God will no doubt love you, or else she will not be at peace with God.
Matworld- Nice guy
Thats life, sometimes you can have it so rough such that you dont even see the meaning of life. I once was in your shoes, but i rose up, dusted myself, put everything behind me and went on with life.
C’me on man, cheer up. You ve got every reason to be happy! remember, we only live once!
Guyz LT banachinja topic!
Fine you are too serious, you should loosen up, you may lose out in life. Have you watched the catoon Pocahontas?
chamba valley – ngati uli lova, u nkala bwanje? Ne sevensa in the city
This little girl walks over to her grandmother and asks “Granny, can you show me a magic trick?” “No dear, but I think your grand father knows one.” So the little girl walks over to her grandpa and asks “Grandpa, granny says you know some magic tricks, could you show me one?” The grand father looks at her, “Sure, just hop on my lap!” So the little girl jumps on his lap. “Now, can you feel a finger poking up your ass?” asks the grandpa, “Yeah” replies the girl “Well look, no hands!”
Matworld she is doing you a favour. It’s better you cut her off now and charge her to the game . Thats life’s way of telling you somebody is not meant for you, it’s harsh I know but in time you will be thankful it happened. Never ever ever go for someone that doesn’t respect and like you for who you are
one night, two cops where on patrol on leapards hill road when they came across a man with a coffin on his head. one goes
“iwe, uyenda kuti na bokisi. ndimwe ma satanist imwe. imilila.”
the guy stops. the cops get close to him and order him to put the coffin down.
“uyenda kuti?’
“sivamene ivi vi bululu vanga? ninaviuza kuti ni funa ku chingwere vanipeleka ku old. i dont mix with chongololos bwana. so ndiye ulendo uyu! takuli abakaya ku lepads”
You should have seen the cops run leaving their vehicle.
Its been a long week, time to enjoy the weekend now. Baby c, please do me a favour. ukanipunziseko chizungu cause Fine wanishainila maningi lelo. Take care guys and drink responsibly like me. GOD bless you all, i love you
mwana ndine tamanga so chabe , so chi age ulizingati, usebenza mu city iti
watuma chi number ku email?
I dont normally enjoy jokes, but let me give you one.
An indian man went with his son in the bush to hunt antelops.
When they had been moving in the bush for quite a long time the boy got tired.
He told the father, “Dady there is lion ahead of us, please let us run back home or we are dead”
The father panicing he asked the son, “where?”
The son, “ahead just turn and let us run back home”
So they ran and ran, the father panting and panicing and the boy worn out.
At home the father asked the boy, “So how big was the lion?”
The boy answered, “It was so far away that even me I could not see it”.
MATWORLD MY BROTHER,DONT GO LOOKING YOU WILL ONLY FIND THOSE THAT ARE BUSY LOOKING,THE RIGHT ONE WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL WONDER WHY YOU DIDNT FIND HER EARLIER,THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE, WHEN YOU RUSH YOU CRUSH
nili mu ma twenties, nanga iwe? ni sebenza in London. Ku nkala tamanga ili che, as long as you can eat! thanks for teaching me how to spell properly!
chamba valley i did, i sent you my work one!
naine twenties yapakati yaja so. nili ku skulu two pulls buti
Thnaks Fine, why don’t you enjoy jokes? Are you Zambian?
usoma chani? ukazi nkala serious na schoolu boyi! ;;)
Rashid
No problem dear. Advise when will start the lessons. Ba fine bama serious bad.
chikwakwa ndiye nisoma nili serious , nifuna kuku kambisa firsti
A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, “What are these things daddy?” His dad said, “Condoms son.” The boy asked, “Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?” The dad replied, “The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March….”
Sweet thung, Chamba Valley and MgNa something
There is a new topic and we are waiting for your intelligent contributions
A man walked through his front door after knocking off late from work to find a naked man in his house. He asked the naked man what he was doing, and he replied “ndine mfwiti”. The owner of the house now fuming with anger replied “iwe c…..a mfwiti inayamba liti kuvala condom???!!!”
#122 Baby C.
I can see you having fun. I can’t blog like you, nchito mwana, too main dealines. I will blog with you tomorrow when am off.
Baby C how are you dear?
Unza mojo
Am fine and you???
Sarah Jones
Hey girlfriend! yea! work first bangakupishe ka!
Sweet thung,Sony Eric,Matworld -Nice guy, Unza mojo, Nine Chale, sarah Jones,Rashid,PF Die hard, and other bloggers.
Goodnight. Be good. Drink responsibly, i still need you here.If the almighty allows, i will see ya tomorrow.Love you all. Babyc signing off!
later C
LLC increased license fees over 100% please leave those beer joints alone, these Businesses have committed no crime.The whole City leadership needs help.
:-@ without action.We are tired,will just wait and see,just maybeeeeeeeeee this time around it will happen
but pa zed..instead of closing these shops nab the culprits who bring in alcohol into the country using some of our well monitored borders and then suspend the people who give trading licences.Zambian laws really do have flaws…
This won’t work out. Its high time people paid attention to simple basic economics supply will always = demand, privatization = massive job cuts, regardless. You privatize Zambia breweries and what you expect people with the know how will be out of a job and with no pensions, of course needing some money. You should be lucky they are not out robbing. So its clear the increase in illegal alcohol is due to an increase in unemployed brewing technicians. What you want them to go out and patent there mixes. LEAVE THEM ALONE IF YOU ARE NOT OFFERING A SOLUTION TO THE INCOME PROBLEM, THE PEOPLE IN THE TOWNSHIPS ARE NOT COMPLAINING, IT’S THE BREWERIES THAT ARE COMPLAINING DUE TO SOME GHOST COMPETIT
It’s the right step in the right direction, you have all my support
Lcc . Thank you. Amen
Kwena naseka, I have even lost track of what I meant to write about. Cheers fellows