When Nothing seems to be Working

By Mazala Zulu

Playing tennis the other day, nothing seemed to work out as much as I had wanted. I also went through the whole week trying to challenge myself to think different because nothing seemed to be working.

We may have a tendency to interpret temporary setbacks as a final condemnation. Yet failure is only final if you judge it so. Most failures are in fact positive learning experiences that can lead to strong progress. Depersonalization is an important tool for helping you to realize this. Don’t take things so personal.

I have made it my life passion to help others become successful in living the life of their dreams, that’s why I have decided to define “success”. Success to me was the ability to produce the results you want. But lately I’ve changed my definition of success to this; the ability to express, to fulfill, and to live your life purpose. If you’re living your purpose, you’re going to be successful. Unfortunately, most of us have defined “success” as being famous or being wealthy. And for a lot of us, that’s not what we’re here to do. We’re here to express ourselves fully, and to live a life of purpose.

Very few of us unwrap the present that we have been given from birth; that is to fully know and understand who YOU are.

History is filled with examples of people who have received exactly what they wanted simply by asking. Yet this basic principle of success eludes most people. Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.

Sound familiar?

We fear asking for what we want for many reasons, including being afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. Even more common is the fear of rejection.

The irony about fear of rejection is that although you’re afraid to hear the word no, you’re already saying it to yourself by not asking!

If you find that fear of rejection gets in your way, consider this, Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection. You’re not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. The reality is that you don’t lose anything by asking. In fact you actually gain something.

There is a specific science for asking for and getting what you want and need in life. Here are tips to help you get started:

1. Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get what you want. Ask with confidence and make the assumption that what you want is available – you only need to ask for it. You want a window seat on the bus? Assume all you have to do is ask for it.

2. Ask someone who can give it to you. If you want a yes, there’s no sense asking a person who is incapable of fulfilling your request. Qualify the person you are talking to before asking. For example, “Who would I have to speak to about getting a business loan?”

3. Be specific. Vague requests produce vague results. So be clear about exactly what you want to ensure you get it. Don’t ask for food – ask for n’shima and beans. Don’t just ask for more time with your spouse – ask for a date on Friday night.

4. Ask repeatedly. Persistence is a key principle of success. Some people will say no to your requests. They have other priorities, commitments and reasons not to participate in the fulfilment of your goals; it’s not a reflection on you. Your job is to keep asking until you get a yes. Never take things personal when you get a no, this will help you move on and weigh your set back.

Learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. As with everything, practicing the science of asking will help you improve. You will even speed up your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.

This is to your success, you are a success, live your success.