Dear sissy,
How are you and the family? I am well and love being here at Havard university. Who would have thought a boy from Kalingalinga would land at Havard! I miss my wife and kids though. As you you know I left Mary 7 months pregnant. Please check on her once in a while for me. She isn’t so impressed that I won’t be there when the baby is born and will only get to see the baby when he/she is 3 years old. Its a tough choice I had to make but I think my getting a pHD will eventually pay off.
Okey my little sissy take care and greeting to my brother-in -law and the kids.
Yours Max
Dear Max,
It was nice hearing from you and that you are fine. Indeed,we as a family are proud of your academic achievements. However, you should know that your in laws are very upset that you left Mary heavily pregnant with two other kids to look after. I did go to see her. I think you can tell she is depressed. She feels you value your education more than your family.
Max I sometimes tend to side with her too. You have hardly spent time with your wife and kids the last 2 years. You just came back from the U.K where you were doing your masters. Your family still stay in a small, dilapidated rented flat in Rhodes Park. Max juniour calls you uncle Max instead of Daddy because he’s only spent 1 full year with you out of his 3 years of existence. Now you are talking of coming back to Zambia after 3 years! Your children will not know you. I hope you will at least be coming for holidays.
Anyway. I hope your pHD brings you much happiness. Sorry for being harsh.You know I love you but sometimes your little sissy has to tell it as it is.Your kids are paying a huge price for your pursuit of a better life. Take care.
love Beauty
Is it a rule that everything that pays, costs?
You have probably heard of the saying that there are “two sides to everything”. You have probably used that phrase yourself. IT IS CALLED THE LAW OF OPPOSITES.
A few examples:
1. Your hand has a front and a back
2. A long way up to the top of a building can not exist without a long way down
3.If there is a road from UNZA to ZESCO, there must be a road from ZESCO to UNZA
The other thing to be noted about the law of opposites is that they are not only opposite, they are also equal. To put it in the words of a wise man
“The Law of Opposites states that every out must have an in, every in an out, every left must have a right, every right a left, in order to be so judged. In the balance, every low swing must have a high swing, and vice versa. Every force must have an equal but opposite.”
As you make decisions in your life, know that the law of opposites is at work. It is a manifestation of the Law of Life.
It is therefore, not strange that Max’s quest for a “better life” is costing him. That’s ok. It is only a taboo when after all this “cost”, max doesnt achieve a “better life”!!!! That we cannot attribute to law, because natural law is exact in its operation.
Listen to the advise of Bob Proctor,
“Everything that happens in your life today with either appear negative or positive. Keep in mind whatever happens must have a positive side to it.
A large majority of the population seems to be mentally programmed to pay attention to the negative side of life and unfortunately, ignore the positive.
Make the decision right now that, regardless of what happens today, you are going to look at the positive aspect of what’s happening. Remember… every cloud has a silver lining. Do this again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes a habit to see the positive in everything. You will feel better, you will be more productive, and you will have more friends.”
This blog really has great minds.That was an excellent read! Let me bring in the emotional aspect if I may.It is said when kids are young they don’t care how much their daddy makes just that he is around.When kids are teenagers they care how much their daddy makes and not if he’s around! Is it fair for small children to have one of their parents away from them for extended periods like 3 years etc. Is it healthy for a marriage to have a spouse away for years at a time? So when the daddy comes back with his pHD the kids will not know him and he would have missed out influencing them in their impressionable years.
I strongly advice max to reconsider his decision.As much as he is doing it for the family to have a better life in future,he is punishing the innocents kids.It always surprise me to find couples living in difficult situations happy with children who know them.
Most old nurses at Zed have left they old retired husbands and adults children to go and look after old pipo in far places just to have better life!! God knows when. When is life better, if not at the retirement age?
Thats serious! Shouldn’t they be enjoying their golden years with their husbands.Then again they need money to enjoy those golden years.Guys and gals lets start saving for retirement.
#6.cece
Saving for retirement is good. Investing for retirement is better.
born rich you mean like in Luse? What are the returns like?
No. I don’t mean LUSE. I am of the opinion that, that’s the last place to take you hard earned money!!It id no wonder it is a legal requirement that you are “counseled” by a broker before you go the LUSE way.
Ever heard of Warren Buffet? He would disagree with you.
#10. The sharaholders of Chilanga Cement will certainly agree with me!!!
#10 Anonymous
Dont believe on brokers. You can take their advice, listen to what they tell, understand them, but analyze your goals and your means yourself
Never use all your savings at once in stock market. Start with as low as 20%.
Never invest all the money you have in one share. Spread your investment in different holdings.
Starting farming at early age is best solution for golden ages enjoyment.
On yo way to become a princes u must kiss a frog
do long distance marriages work?
Inonge(15), Long distance marriages neither work nor do they not work. They just are!!! That is an object view point.
Subjectively, they depend on the following, among other things:
1. level of commitement of the partners to each other
2. The distance between the partners!!! (This has many implications)
3. The length of time they have been or are expected to be apart
4. Their ability to understand and appreciate the reasons, they are apart.
My reasons are not exhaustive. They could be many others.
However it is important to note that we have been conditioned to view the polar side of things. My contribution in #2 demostrates our polar way of thinking which make us see the polar nature of things. (We think that if it is not +ve it is -ve. But things are just Zero (0) which is neither +Ve nor -Ve. WE choose how we want to make it)
What is the conclusion of the matter? Here it is:
“IN TRUTH, LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS NEITHER WORK NOR DO THEY NOT WORK. THEY JUST ARE!!!”
thats an excellent answer! life I guess is what you make it to be.Someone once said “Life is a good employer, it gives you exactly what you expect of it” I think long distance relationships are not for me in that if I have a finite number of years of existence on this planet,I want to spent most of those years with the people I love as much as I possibly can.
#17. I wish you well.
#17 time lost is never recovered, so better start planning now, if your life span is one divided by zero, then all those boy friends you have had,re think your strategy,it works out negatively for women once you had so many sexual partners stabilization becomes a problem cos of your past experiences and sexual involvent which completely opposite with men.Inonge Mbikusita Lewanika aim high mwaice
I definately aim high! did I forget to mention that I am like Mount Everest- very few men if any have reached the top!
Why should happiness be measured in terms of how much one has in life? PARADISE is in your mind. A PHD will not give you happiness.Stop punishing those little Angels,it’s enough with your masters and one can always continue their studies in the future.Get your PHD,get a good job and when you are old,rich n’ grey those kids won’t be around until you die then they get all you worked for bye bye amigo thankyou for the riches and that time they not be calling you ‘PAPA’ but that OLD N SELFISH MAN.
Bill Gates does not have a PHD in anything. But yet filthy RICH!!!!!
#21. Lombe Chulu
It is [slightly below] IMPOSSIBLE for happiness NOT to be messured by what someone has!!
This must be a settled statement in our minds. The question we ought to ask ourselves though is, “What is this SOMETHING” that we all seem to be looking for which has happyness as its reward?
Much of what we see people do is not the actual “something”. It is the means to the “something”. Max, for the moment, is using the PhD as a “means to the means” that acheives that “something” end!!
What Max needs, is a revelation that He can get his PhD without subjecting his family to such toment( atleast not to the extent to which the family is being tomented).
The day That Max will “Know” this to be true, is the day Salvation will begin to dwell in his home (with his family).
Bengchali
Bengchali lets get in touch.
#23 clarify on what U mean by(slightly below)IMPOSSIBLE and please be careful with the use of the word like we ‘ALL’ coz not everyone thinks like you,so try to be specific. Pipo look at life in many different ways. If you are mearsuring success in financial terms and you think it will buy A HOME then you got it wrong. You can have all the money in the world but without friends, REAL FRIENDS one will never be happy at least that’s my experience. I don’t want 2 b surrounded by a bunch of G’Digas.
#27 Lombe Chulu
“slighly below impossible” is a state beyong impossible! You will agree with me that it does not exist! I used it to bring to the attention that what you are saying is “so impossible that even the word ‘impossible’ would be an understatement to describe that idea”.
…….continued in the next posting
#27 Lombe
Here is a repeat of my statement: “It is [slightly below] IMPOSSIBLE for happiness NOT to be messured by what someone has!!”
A little bit of thought on your part will reveal that u actually subscribe to this statement.
I quote from your posting in #27: “You can have all the money in the world but without friends, REAL FRIENDS one will never be happy”. My understanding of this [your] statement is that HAVING FRIENDS can bring about happyness. te?
….. continues on next
#27 Lombe
So what u are saying is “friends can bring happiness”. Now, can it not be said that friends “are what someone has”?
You see, happyness will always be connected with “things”. These can be things which are seen or those which are not seen. But they are “things” all the same. These things can even be human beings!! Just like a friend once told me, “the most important things in life are not things”
……continued in next posting
#27 Lombe Chulu
You can forget about all i have said, but remember this:
“Happyness can never be devorsed from ‘things’ we have or wish to have. Nay! No! Never!
Your duty and mine is to discover what these ‘things’ are. They are not the same for every person. They may not even be things seen. They may be words, ideas, objects, persons,….etc. The list is endless”
Cheers!
i believe happiness is the state of mind. Its not necessarily what you have or indeed what surrounds you that can make you happy. however man associats material things, since they are believed to add confort to oneself as that which brings happiness.
“life is very simple,and yet we tend to make it so complicated ourselves.” we have to understand that life has alot of trade offs. It’s either max continues to live in a rent flat in rhodes part or improves his academic standing for more opportunities? that is what separates the men from the boys? men to the right thing, while boys dream or simply speculate? you can always make up for family time, but you can never make up for missed opportunities in life.