BY TIYESE SAKALA
WHEN two people exchange lifelong vows and promise to be there for one another providing support in times of bliss and troubles, they promise each other total commitment regardless of the situations that may unfold in the future.
But how ready are they to uphold these vows and just how far can they go to walk the life road with its ups and downs?
For even God in the Bible has clearly said that “What God has put together let no man put asunder” hence by so doing, the two are bound and no one but God himself can separate the two.
To this effect the Catholic Church in particular asks over and over again if the two people standing before the altar are ready for the consequences of their actions bearing in mind that once the vows have been exchanged they cannot be broken, no matter what the circumstances.
“The Catholic Church is highly observant of this verse in the Bible and once a marriage has been ordained in the Catholic Church no one has the authority to break it, not even the courts of law. Just as the wedding band which is exchanged by the two parties is round without a beginning and an end, so should a marriage be once it starts it should have no end and that is our basis,” said one marriage counselor in the Catholic Church.
As the world evolves we see many marriages being ordained in the Church and, as many as are being ordained in the Church, so are many others, which are breaking down and ending in divorce even those involving religious leaders.
Divorce, though it seems the easiest way out of a marriage that is either loveless, or full of mistrust and disrespect is not the solution but a problem in itself as not only the two parties but the children feel its effects as well.
Once a marriage is dissolved, one of the parents is supposed to move out of the matrimonial home and if she takes the children with her they are forced to change schools, friends and all together change their way of living to suit the one parent system.
The woman has to worry about the effect that the divorce would have on her children and also think of how it affects her work performance and social life.
On the other hand the man is also not spared as he has to adjust to tending to all his needs such as preparing meals as well as washing and cleaning up on his own, which is not a normal trend in a traditional Zambian home setup.
He might end up marrying another woman just to fill the void left by his wife and in some cases such marriages crumble as soon as they start as they are more out of convenience than love, thereby continuing the chain of divorces.
Sadly, this chain is creeping into the Church, worse still even the pulpit.
I know of a family which was highly regarded by both their community and their church because of the various activities they involved themselves in such as marriage counseling, both Christian and traditional counseling, organising the community fundraising activities, and their doors were always open to any member of their community even beyond.
Because of their status in their community, word went round quickly that the couple was headed for divorce and this became the main topic in the local gossip corners.
When their two children, who were in their youth, learnt through their friends that their parents were headed for a divorce, they felt cheated and humiliated that their parent’s problems had been hidden from them and only heard from the public.
Resenting their parents, one resorted to coming home late and drinking beer as a way of avoiding any confrontation with his parents while the other just kept to his room and rarely came out to have meals with the other family members.
Without realising that their children were affected by their plans to divorce, the parents went ahead with the proceedings and agreed that the boys stay in the custody of their father but this only deepened the situation as they ended up dropping out of school since their father was rarely home and did not realise that his children were not going to school until it was too late.
After all the African society especially here in Zambia is of the belief that a man’s sexual masquerades can never lead to divorce but an adulterous woman can not go unpunished.
To this effect there is a saying “Ubuchende bwamwaume tabutoba Ng’anda” literally translated “A man’s sexual escapades never break a home,” this is evidenced by the number of extra marital affairs that married men engage in and how much they try to justify them though most of them still lead to divorce.
But when a couple reaches the stage of divorce the children are the victims. Growing up in a troubled home where parents argue and fight whenever they disagree is hard enough on its own but to grow up without one parent is even harder and usually tends to have negative effects on the children of such a marriage.
Other cases are those where marriages just break down due to habits that partners refuse to give up.
One man says he decided to sue his wife for divorce and gave up all the household goods and other investments they had acquired together just to escape the marriage where the wife was a perpetual drunk and used to insult the husband whenever he failed to give her money to sustain her beer drinking sprees.
Mr Muwale as I would prefer to call him, married a woman four years younger than him and envisaged a marriage of unending bliss, without knowing that his wife was a drunkard who would not go to sleep unless she consumed some of the intoxicating liquid.
Once married, Mr Muwale was sure that his wife would settle and change for the better but that was not to be.
The wife due to her excessive drinking started spending nights away from home and the second time she got pregnant decided to hide the pregnancy from the husband as she was not sure if it was his.
“I only came to know of the pregnancy when she was admitted to hospital because she had attempted to terminate it, I wondered why she should do so if it was really mine. Once she came home I demanded an explanation but she continued trying to justify her action so I had no choice but to sue for divorce as I wanted to start a new life without her, I felt betrayed and had just had a lot of issues with her the best was for us to go our separate ways,’ he said.
Mr Muwale also won the custody of the child who is now in grade four and has since married another woman who is also looking after his child.
Divorce is not the best solution to a crisis and no matter what the differences are people should not opt for it as it subjects the partners including the children to mental torture and in many cases result in low self esteem.
Some people have been known to even do better once they get out of loveless marriages while others sink even deeper and the children tend to have negative views about marriage which God ordained to be sacred and unending until death.
So the next time you contemplate walking down the isle it is important to understand the implications of the decision you are about to take for there are even graver consequences than divorce.
[Times of Zambia]
Very tough subject to tackle.The words from the Bible are however clear and divorce is wrong.Philipinos are never ever allowed to divorce under whatever circumstances.he point is people must not just marry for the sake of it.Marriage is a whole package of bad and good experiences and the wto people must be ready to endure as well as enjoy these experiences.Its never one sided.No one indeed enjoys divorce especially when children are involved
Very well and thoughtfully written analysis.However you need to call a spade a spade.The various sexual abuses seen in the church and emanating from the pulpit are not sadly, just recently creeping in. DAILY we read of polygamous priests, abusive pastors, molestors and predatory preachers. The hypocrisy in the church you dance around is what is bothersome and has been for years. Ever heard of Rev Pule or Bishop Milingo?
Did not read the entire script,too long.
However,we must recognise as humans that there is a possibilty that two peolpe may grow apart after a while.
There is no point in staying in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of the Clan or family.
this is a very important piece of work. thoughts are well put together and am sure people can learn from this. one thing that keeps me wonder is what does these protestant churches teach on marriage? learn from the catholic church. marriage is a life commitment hence there is no room for divorcing just because the wife slapped you. of course i do admit that there are provisions where a marriage can be annulled which is very unusual. Marriage is sacred it must be preserved at all costs. a piece of advise to marriage aspirants: know yout partner well be fore you say i do.
A very good article. I think a research needs to be carried out on the present divorce rate in Zambia compared to the divorce rate in the past. My reasoning is ,we have moved away from our culture and adopted the western culture which we do not understand, too quickly and blindly so as to look advanced. Marriage in the western culture is not popular, divorce has taken over, the family system has broken down,co habiting is the main thing. i think we should not be following the western culture blindly, we have our own Zambian African culture which we should preserve with dignity.
Its very easy to support such a stance especially when one is not faced with a cantankrous and most unreasonable spouse. Look at the likes of Mrs Katele Kalumba, if she was not the doormat she has turned herself into, do you think it is reasonable for anybody to stick to such an adulterous wizard who even disappears in this air god knows where to? Shameful creatures of Katanga like Pule, which woman deserves to be with such stinkers? Look at Mwaanga, even the hair is all falling off that chigurumutu of his because all that’s circulating in it is adultery and fornication if not political mercenarism.
#6 you must have sat with Shetani for a long time; your language leaves much to be desired. i could hardly beleieve I was reading something written by a mortal being!!!! probably you should visit Pule and Milingo and give them your thought using these words.
Please know that oneday we shall be called to account for the way we unsparing use our Tongues-uin this case the fingers to translate our thoughts-Truly, “Out of the abundancy of heart mouth speaks”.!
agree with #7,lets use palatable language in as much as we want to stress the point.donnot be too firm at pointing fingers,as it said,he who has not- cast the first stone,remember Christ’s reaction to the prostitute’s case.however, evil or sin should not be embraced rather condemned.public figures watch your steps because you are standing on the antihills,and physical eyes are on you.plz try to maitain good morals.
The article is too long. Couldn`t be bothered to read it all.
This is a clearly misunderstood issue of marriage. Some people marry before they have really matured mentally and realize that they had made a mistake by marrying too soon, or a person they know little about. In this day and age where money is a major spokesperson, some marriages are founded on the size of one’s wallet. It is therefore okay to allow divorce in some circumstance where evidence clearly shows immaturity, abuse of the relationships and neglect of their responsibilities. This is better than allowing torture and mental anguish. Where kids are involved, there is need to reach a negotiated settlement with kids at the centre.
Bwanji uko? bwanji ziko latu la zambia?
Am glad my country is looking at these vital issues. keep it up and i love you all. I am down Africa(Kwazulu Natal). big up to the one who wrote this article.
My opinion is that I think everybody agrees that divorce should be the last resort espcially if there are children involved. People marry for different reasons ranging from pure total love to marrying for convenience and a lot in between where unfortunaltely most marriages are based. If you know what is good for you as a human being have a certain minimum standard of what you are looking for in a partner. If you need a partner that will treat you well, just observe how they treat people who have crossed their line. Even just a caller who calls them wrongly on their cellphone, see how they respond when they discover it is a wrong number, that should tell you something about your…
contd 12
… prospective angel or devil of a partner. Look at their manners, how they handle issues, there are certain people that are born paranoid, due to their various experiences in life, there are certain people that are insecure naturally. If your partners starts to discuss how bad their life was in the past, how they were mistreated by their parents/guardians (maka maka guardians), there is a chance this will manifest later in the marriage possibly even against you, no one is a born killer, circumstance lead people to kill, so be wary of these small but important things. Someone once said “when you meet people for the first time, you are actually not meeting them but their proxy…”
Cont’d 14
… in other words there is a lot of pretence in courtships, this man will be best baddies with your cousin all of a sudden he cannot stand your cousin. There a lot of things we ignore when we are courting, sometimes your partner would not be a regular in the bathroom so their personal hygiene would be an issue but then you say he/she will change when we get married. In marriage I have believed that “you cannot teach an old dog new tricks simple as that” what you partner grew up to believe in is what will be his/her values. To sum up my comments “always be friends with you prospective partners before you marry, because when love has run out you will still be friends”
Divorce is simply bad. Pipo should be cautious when they decide to marry. Problem is that there is a lot of pretence among couples when they are courting for those who are even lucky to have this period.
Nowardays the church is even notorious when it comes to marrying pretenders, especially the non-mainstream churches were pipo clearly fear their pastors as though theye are gods, wanting to please them at all costs. Most of these even shun good real life marriege counselling insisting on the bible only, as though the bible contains all the details about living as a couple. You find such marrieges are not lasting, because even those pastors who preside over them are have marital problems
hear hear #15
#6 pls mind your language. pointing fingers or calling other people names just proves what kind of a person you are. looks like you either envy or cant match people like VJ. leave him out of it please. the topic is divorce, just give your points on why it should be there or not cos each person has their reasons for divorce doesnt matter how many times. like #7 has said only God will judge us. Lets discuss the issue, this is always a problem with Zambians not wanting to focus on the real problem. Couples must always put God first in whatever they do as is is the only one who can help solve problems.
Viky # 16 walasa
heheheh!abash infidelity even tho i havent read the whole story its too long.
Yes the courtship is too short and besides that alot of cheating among themselves.The couple enjoy alot of SEX before marriage and later thats why it becomes boring when the TWO are together and also want to explore more in marriage ‘STYLES’, what next cheating….people need to learn how to know each other for longer period, instead these days, they are rushing to marry before exposing themselves to one another….Divorcing is NOT the answer at all.People should find lasting solutions in marriages when they is a problem.The BIBLE is the answer straight…..
I agree with all of youn who say divorce is not the solution. Indeed the bible is clear about issues of divorce, it also give an exception when divorce is inevitable. Some circumstances are easier to comment on when you are not directly affected. Circumstances where one of the parties to the marriage defiles the marriage bed by adultery are very damaging to the other such that some pipo have ended up going into depression in the name of saving a marriage in the interest of the children. The result is those children you wanted to protect suffer even more by losing one of their parents. It is good to look at each case as it presents itself and not to wholesomely condemn those who end up….
…divorcing. No one marries to divorce, we all hope for a good family in which both parents and children are happy. I am going thru this particular problem right now. My spouse has defiled our marriage bed and I have lost all interest in him touching me and thus can’t function properly sexually. Is it worthy staying in this marriage for the sake of the children????? and live an unhappy life? Pls bloggers advise.
Mildred, I think give alittle more details; like is this the first time?, have you talked and he has shown no remorse …etc
#23 it is not the first time coz there are children outside marriage and these came in the infancy of our marriage. I have talked but he denies even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Denying to me means he is not sorry and this could be time fro me to move on.
Both of you Mildred need to seek immediate counselling with either The Right Rev Pule or Bishop Milingo, no pun intended. The serious point beeing, what has kept you in this surrogate marriage all this long when you knew he was raising another family just after “your wedding”? From your posting, it is clear he has emotinally brutalized you if not physically as well.You sound smart and educated enough to be outfoxed in this manner. I am not Dr Ruth or Dr Phil, but why are you still in this relationship? Why have you allowed a Pule disciple to torment your life and deprive your self esteem?
How about being realistic people? Not every marriage is going to survive. We know of people who have married and the moment they have got that woman at home, they start going somewhere else.
It is not only in African countries that girls want to get married to rich people. It is worse in developed countries. Shrek marrying that beautiful girl? Anyone?
Sorry brethren
Mildred, I feel your pain. I went through a similar situation in my marriage. My first reaction was to pack and go, but them practical circumstances stood in the way. The main one being that we built our house together and so how do I leave all the financial contribution I put in? I wouldnt mind him leaving but of course he too cant. So we are stuck together even though I now feel absolutely nothing for him. I have had to forgive him so that I can get on with my life. But I know he hasnt changed. He just doesnt bother me anymore. We have condomised sex every once in a blue moon. I live my life, he lives his. Not the best scenario but what can I do??? I wish you luck and better resolutions
Tell that to Dan Pule. The man is in and out of marriage.
Thank you Mercy, I kind of fit exactly in your shoes. We also have invested in our house together and as you say it is not easy to contemplate going to start afresh and leaving all my investment. But alas, how can I hang on with someone who has hurt me so much. The biggest problem is that the girl involved is actually my relative and so it complicates the issue even more. #25 what has kept me in this marriage for this long is that he had hidden his tracks very well until reently when I discovered those children and their ages are similar to those of my own children. Thats when it dawned on me that I have been cheated. Was quite naive I should admit, not being able to suspect a thing till now
Am sorry mildred to ask, do you go to church?
Mildred what guarantee do you have that the ext one will not hurt you too.Whilst i dont advise you to stick with a painful marriage`the devil you know is better than an angel you dont know’.It is important to know that it never all rosy in marriage no matter who you are.Differences between couples hacve been there even in biblical times and they will be there all the time,Lets handle matters correctly before marriage and in marriage.Some mistakes are made before marriage eg some one may want to marry just because the man or woman is financially sound already, should this be the basis for marriage?
VC yes I go to church. And Gibby, I do understand that the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know but the point here is I am not yet thinking of any angel coming into my life right now. My only concern is how to deal with this issue that is at hand. It is not easy to brush aside an issue in which my spouce cheats on me with my very close cousin. It is a different issue when the other woman is unknown to you. I would like to believe that I entered into marriage with the right motives. We both started building ourselves together and there was nothing material which could have attracted me to my husband it was purely love.
If I had stayed married either I would be dead (from abuse…beatings and AIDS) or I probably would be in Chimbokaila for murder…….so divorce is better!
mildred, u are not alone, there are thousands of us out here in yo situation, some even worse than yours, believe me. if u still love yo husband, first forgive him, of course with the help of the Mighty One, set it a prioirity to pray for your marriage and your forgiving yo husband, allow God to give you peace of mind and increase your self esteem. divorce, God hates hence talk to father about this, let God know exactly how much you are hurting ad how u hate divorce so that He gives u strength and wisdom to accept what He will ordain for you.
Mildred,well understood and i do symphathise with such a situation.I agree with bana Gigi to forgive him but only if you can do so and only if you still love him.It is also true that there so many in your situation perhaps even worse than yours but thay are still married.It is however an individual’s decision because its you that is going through all the pain.I can only advise you to look back where youve come from,look and asses where you are now then chart your way forward after taking into consideration all the pros and cons.Ask God to guide and togive you strength as you go through this situation.He never fails
Mildred, like Gibby said, the pain is being felt by you. After all has been said, ultimately its u to make that crucial decision. But its should such that you wont have to regret later. Try to forgive him. I think he is refusing because he hopes it will pain you less. show him that you can forgive him if he agreed and I think he will. But he has to apologise genuinely. Additionally, pray for him and yourself, but as you do, continue doing what is humanly possible to detter future mishabehaving. I know people will say leave it all to God, but the reality is God works through our efforts. So put some measures to stop the nonsense in future. I am hopeful he can change.
if you have eva been in a bad relationship you would know what a big relief a divorce can be!
I don’t believe in marriage being sacred because the two individuals involved are not perfect. I tend to agree with #3 that there is no justification to stay in a marriage that causes one pain and saddness all the time. It’s not only about your kids but also about your happiness too. Why live a miserable life when you are capable of knowing what’s right and not right. And certainly there is no reason to continue in relationship when you know your spouse is promiscuous. As a matter of fact, we should not blame western culture as impacting on our divorce culture in Zambia as some bloggers allude to. Divorce has always been there and not a new phenomenon or alien to Zambia.
Well, the Bible says it all, ” Marriage is Holy”. Whether we like it or not God will not change His position. What we need to do as people who are not perfect is completely yield our entire lives to His will and all shall be stright with us. let us not marry to divorce. When one wants to marry, he should first of pray and fast so that our God who put man into a deep sleep before removing a rib to crreate woman can show us which woman has got that rib we so much desire and are looking for. Till death do us part……I do, period
By the way it’s not only promiscuity that can cause a marriage to break. There are other factors too, like violence. My husband drinks like a fish and each time he’s drunk there is no peace in the house. Firstly he doesn’t provide for the family and expects me to pay the bills and food. On top of that he shouts and sometimes beats me for no reason at all. I feel i can do better without him since I am more or less independent. Do ii really have to stay in such a marriage?
well…
Some people have divorced and ended up regreting while others divorced and improved ther lives tremendously.At the begining i said this is a difficult topic and indeed it is because no two marriages are the same nor can they be compared.No one can try to mauld his/her marriage based on another.All we can do is to try to be reasonable.If you are going to forgive him search yourself whether you can really forgive him.Search yourself how much you love him.When you leave him and all that you have had together, where are you going to go.Be sure not to regret in futureThink more of the future than what has happened coz you cant change what has happened but you can change the future
#40, we need people like you so much, come and visit my area or maybe write more because i see alot i think are affected in with this situation.
Mercy and Mildred. God made you strong women. Stop looking at the financial contributions and look at your lives. Are you happy? If you are not and r staying in an unhealthy relationship coz you feel “then what” if you go…you shall regret when u wake up one day look in the mirror and find out you look 60 when you are actually 40. Unhealthy relationships wear you out. The best medicine is to forgive him, not for him but for you in order to move on and become a better person.You can do this. You will never forget whats hes done.If u decide to forgive and stay with him then work at lovin him all over again and not looking at him and wishing him death
Thanks bloggers for your contributions towards this issue. The onus is on me and indeed I hold the key in this issue. For now we leave it up to the lord to show me which way forward. In all this, all I want is the best option for all of us. God bless you all.
when God created man and a woman and marriage he knew its a wonderful thing ,he never created anything that cld hurt anyone but the problems is that pipo get into marriage with alot of expections and if they dont find what hoping for it becomes the big issue.there z no man or woman who z perfect but jst try to work out with what u have coz even next relationship one will still need to face alot of mess.
#47 Yes God created marriage to be perfect but the devil came to destroy. Many women nowadays are more independent than men and are bread winners in their families but their husbands still cheat on them. I for one do not expect anything from my husband coz I can look after myself and he actually depends on me. Men are just selfish and never content with what they have.
This is very interesting topic for sure.let me pass my observation here if this topic was talking about sex we would have seen a lot of comments but because of its factors and implications that comes out of divorce.i must say that what the editor have put across here is all true.i am a product of divorce and I know that it means to be brought up in a broken family.there is nothing good about it.the two parties can agree to go for divorce but the effect will remain on the children.the worst part come in when the man remarries.if the children remains in the custody of the man who remarry a woman who has no heart.
children wil suffer in every area you can talk about.i am saying this coz it happened that when my parents divorced our lives changed from riches to rugs my mother struggled to feed us,she struggled to educate us,she suffered.i could hear her crying in her nights.its not that the court allows us to be in the custody of my father but coz my father could not pay attention on our needs,education etc
as I am writing our family has never been the same….i don’t know how it feels to receive a fatherly love,my mother died when I and my siblings were young so we don’t know how the motherly love is too.we never received good education.its this time that I can receive education coz God has blessed me with a well paid job and I can pay for my education and support my siblings.it happen that people divorce for various reasons and are too many to mention here…if couples can learn to resolves issues within the parameters of marriage that’s better.couples need to live for each other….it should not be a “shipikisha club”, ‘ati tapali ifyo ningachita nkalasunga kofye abana”.
life should go beyond that.a man is the head of the house therefore,her must lead the house in a God given principles.today divorce is becoming a norm in our modern society but children are left hurt.whether it is done with a good reason or a bad one,its effects are so bad. I wish married people can uphold this scripture Ephesians 5: 1-32
Divorce is possible everywhere,it can enter into any family whether to a religious couple or atheist. God’s purposes of marriage is that the couple will live happily for life.whatever a couple can face if they chose to live together for life that is very possible.a couple may differ in opinions and other issues but that does not mean they cant fix it,looking for divorce as a solution will help but for a short time and other things but a lot will be damaged especially if they have children.it is believed that those people who enter into marriage when they are not read are the most vulnerable to divorce.those guys ba fwitila umwanakashi most of them are not happy after that and they resort to
It is all very well to remain in a marriage, for the sake of the children, where things have soured between man and wife but I see here most pipo do not seem to realise the damage done to the very children they are staying together for. Many children are so brutalisd in these family set-ups that they in turn grow up to be abusive husbands or unfaithful wives all because they were raised in dysfunctional families, marriages cannot be forever, people change and feelings of love do change, why subject innocent children to life in homes without love? Unto thine own self be true!! not just doing thigs because our parents did the same.
Give each other good sex at least two to three times a day and all your problems will be solved, Hear me Mildred, Mercy? Throw in some quickies at lunchtime, in the car or just when the kids are playing outside just before dinner and you can actually watch them from the window while your man is busy firing away underneath.In short have a sexually positive outlook and weigh less on negatives of life.If your husband is a cheat who does not appreciate your sexuality there’s always a me next door. your womanhood is ernomous power if you didn’t know it.Any real man succumbs to the power of the pu$$zy hands down.
#55, your opinion that any real man will succumb to the power of the pu**y hands down is too sweeping. I personally don’t think that the quality of it would have any effect on my emotions. If things don’t go well in a relationship, I will not stay around for long. When I’m unhappy pu**y means nothing to me, period. You have to separate happiness from sex because a happy relationship is a whole lot of other things such as the way you relate to each other, talk and mannerisms and respect. Other aspects could be added which are not sex per say. In my view this is what a real man should be. I hope you get my drift.
I agree that divorce is a very bad thing.i have decided to divorce my husband because of his adultery.Painful as it is to see my daughter minged between choosing btw dad or mum, i believe am making the right choice for her,after 2yrs in marriage & 3yrs courting.He’s a good father but not a good husband and am sure my baby will have a hard time assimilating all this.i was misled.It hurts coz i value marriage so much .Am just eager to get my life back and i strongly urge all those wanting to jump the band wagon to seriosly think before they act.Adultery is evilness.why get married wen u kno u’ll never be faithful?
“Divorce is not best solution” is tantamount to living in middle ages where couples stayed together to look after kids. In this day and age where women can also be bread winners, why stay in an unhappy union? It can eventually be more detrimental to the kids. People get married because they think they have found their soul mates and they are not psychics to know everything about the other person. If s/he is not living up to expectations then divorce is justified.
You know I always ask myself. Why should it always be only one partner to keep on bending when the problem concerns a couple? And in most cases it is a woman who has to bend and do all sorts of things to save a marriage. What about the man /husband? Divorce is bad yes… But I think a couple having marital problems that might lead to divorce need to sit down and decide the way forward. I have seen wives who have shipikishad and invested a lot and only to be left after years of marriage. Is that fair? Ladies especially, let us not allow men and there ‘girl friends’ treat us like rugs. Let us do what is required of us. LEAVE IF YOU HAVE TO…
Marriage is not ardained or sanctioned by the church leaders.Neither is marriage a governement legal provision.
Marriage is an institution ordained by God and overseen by God according to his word,the bible.Therefore want God has put together who dares put it asunder? Man foolishness is trying to mess up an institution established by God.
I agree, divorce is not a solution. Whatsoever may the problem is, but surely divorce is the worst thing to happen. Weak people go after divorce and dissolve the relationship.
All we can do is to try to be reasonable.If you are going to forgive him search yourself whether you can really forgive him.Search yourself how much you love him.When you leave him and all that you have had together, where are you going to go.Be sure not to regret in futureThink more of the future than what has happened coz you cant change what has happened but you can change the future
so then bloggers whats the conclusion here? For those that believe divorce is an option in some cases, will God burn the divorcees that remarry like plastic ayini?