Going to Zambia empty handed

1. This is a well done story, this is exactly what i experiened a few months ago and now that i am going home again… i dont know. But its high time people started thinking that life is the same everywhere. The fact that i am in europe doese not make me a billionaire so people need to understand. Twakulafwilamofye for nothing

2. That shows that 3 quarters of your relatives in ZED are leaving in poverty sicken situations.

3. Well it sucks for you then

4. u dint necessarily have to buy chocolates coz pa zed fyani, kano limbi things like clothes, insapato but its not a must 2 buy 4 pipo, wat if u are also struggling eko waba? teti waiba??

5. I am planning to go home this summer and pretty much thats my dliemna as well. A couple of the young people will hope that I might take them on my way back to base so they can have a feel life outer yonder. I might tuck in a few bucks to splash around as I visit the loved ones, but this might be a daunting task to accomplish without ruffling a few ‘hairs’ here and there. Thanks for the timely advice LT.

6. Madam womba, you’re ‘a phiri anabwera kucoka ku alale na situkesi yopanda katu!!! ha ha ha ha eeeyaa awi!!

7. My friend #1, now that you have realised that life is the same everywhere, then its beter for you to come back for good to your loving people or else your relatives will continue thinking that you are stingy.

8. Not all families are like that. My family cares about my well being first, giving them gifts is not something they are only concerned about. If I do have something for them fine, If I don’t have its ok. My Namibian wife was so impressed when she was showered with gifts.

9. #7 I am only here for school am just concluding now, so am heading back for good.

10. #8 Shidada howzt my brother. I will be coming to Windhoek next week for the first time. Kindly advise where I can get reasonable accommodation and how much it costs

11. #8. Your family is content with what they have. Thats what is missing in many people’s lives.

12. If you can start supporting those going to school. If you don’t they are going to be a problem to your kids when they grow up.

    Buying such presents won’t help, as soon they fish eating they they will forget you bought. But if you invest in their education they will appreciate, not now but in future.

13. #12 i agree with you. but you will find that the people you are encouraging to go to school never even think of its value. But what i see is that if you start suporting themwhen they are still young, they grow up with appreciation

14. Well the earlier you realise that this is just life the better.Being abroad comes with 2 different thoughts,they are others who will spend all their breath to proove to you that they are prospering whilst you are wasting your time abroad,those that have been there for their PHDs didnt see anything good and they are back home.Whilst another group think abroad is everything and will harangue you for gifts and money even when in themselves they do not have to.Just take note of them you do not have to stay away from home because of them.Just like they are different classes of people at home its the same abroad.Others are doing well whilst others are not.Its not a Car rally to see who wins.

15. Awe uli mututu namayo,kuleta choko kuzedi,fyakale.My advise,get Education and come back to Zed, else u will be lost.Lets Change Zed together!

16. Mmmmm, people in the diaspora mule tusebanya!! Whats the big deal about bringing gifts for your relatives? Those of us in Zambia help our extended families every month without any complaint. You, just buying a cheap pair of shoes from a black market in Europe for a poor relatives in zambia and you feel like the whole world is expecting too much from you?? Come on guys, where is your african-ness? Ubuntu? Im sure even you as a child you used to expect (and receive) gifts from relatives in the diaspora. Now that it is your turn you want to behave like individualistic bazungus?? No wonder some of you are followed by misfortune where ever you go, why should God bless such selfish people?

17. 8. How much do you want to pay per night?

18. #13 I agree with you totally

19. #16 remember that baggage allowance in many flights is only 20kg or 45 kgs in some cases. A bag alone is 5kg,meanwhile you have your own clothes to carry. You cannot buy for everyone. thats the point!! Be real, how many members of the extended family can you support with in your salary with gifts ? Lesa twafweni!!

20. Your story may have been a bit more believable had it not been lifted, word for word from elsewhere. Try and be original. Jusst because u have access to computer doesn’t mean you must pirate other people’s ideas and work! Stop it already!

21. I agree with Sarah.Point on .

22. It’s not compulsory to buy gifts for th entire clan! If people haven’t worked hard enough to make something for themselve, it doesn’t mean the rest of us should live in gulit! It’s high time we became more individualistic. My immediate family is what counts, as for them poorer relatives, how have they survived the rest of the time that I haven’t been around? I say…take care of number 1 first, be happy first, then only will extending a hand make sense!

23. rubbish story why are you trying to generalise this experience? Your family experience is yours to keep

24. I had a similar experience,but for me it was both ways.Pipo here expected me to bring the kapenta,chikanda,impwa etc.I was like, hell to the no.I went to zed to see my relatives.

25. Nice story,keep on bring some more.don’t be discouraged by those that have no regard for their relatives.everybody expects something whether you come from choma,kasama,or chipata.

26. Well i think it depends on individual circumstances, others are out there working, while a person like me, i am studying and sponsoring my studies. So i cant afford to be Father Christmas. But my family comes first.

27. A story well done and with a call for our family members to reflect Thanks LT

28. #9. Lesa twafweni

    Dont you dare. Stay where you are.

    If you are going back to Zambia, you’re going back to suffer.

    Getting out of Zambia is like getting out of the lions den. Why would you want to go back for good??

29. I had similar experiences like ‘can you give me only a £100!’
    My foot,that is a large chunk of my Salary.
    Dilemna of visiting home for sure.
    Well done LT!!

30. Life and Living!!!! I realise people are only interested in “what is in there for me”,ie what you take to them – family and friends alike. Be mindful the same guys will laugh at you when time to go back home comes and you have no place to put your head on. Homelessness is not having a place to call your own. BUILD FOR YOUR FUTURE.

31. i agree with 28 and 28 also with 24 so it depends with the type of family you come from but for me i prefer to support some of my siblings education and maybe they might be some people in future or else they will for ever depend on your pocket. doing to zed or not people still ask for cash and not mentioning paging on your mobile phones and expect you to call them only to know that they just wanna say hi, by the way thats my friends that does so so i dont answer pages (flashing whatever you call it nowadays)

32. #28 I like your enthusiasm, but imiss home and my children are in Zambia. Thats the main reason. But i agree with you,my last visit was terrible! Its so had to make money all i was doing was spending, its terrible

33. I almost wiped out my entire savings. My dad lives on the C/belt but we spend time in Lusaka before traveling around Z, so I have no hideout or anyone to shield me from those other anxious reltives who by the way expect a personal visit. We have to visit 100+1 relatives, sorry my children were 6 & 4 when we left Zambia for the US and one was born in the US so they are amazed at the number of relatives I have. Now they know who is who. Anyhow, going back for the 9th time, I tried a gimmick which I think worked. My Plan — bring each household clothing/shoes from US and buy them essential groceries and leave at least K100,000, try also to solve a few school problems. Uli musungu ninshi!

34. Oh my, what a life! Once they know you have landed, ninshi ama phone ni taputapu. Calling even at 6 in the morning. If you have not returned their calls, they will call other relatives and ask nga namubwelelamo!!!!!! This time I only bought talk time when there was a serious need to communicate. Like I mentioned in #33 above, you have to be selective and help those who really need the help and encourage those loafing around waiting for handouts…. But mwandi we enjoyed our visit. I miss home lots…

35. #33 #34 mwalanjipaya ku nseko, but thats real

36. This story relates to me very well, I have started buying some things on wholesale here to take home. Last I learnt a lesson. I bought few expensive cloths for a few close relatives, but unfortunately I was received at the airport though but a more close relatives than expected, some had travelled far just to see me though when I was in Zambia it would take some years before we could see each other, I had only been out for about a year this time. Every one that received me expected something, but ended giving up my personal effects though not enough. Am looking forward to go home but at the same time am scared a situation of assessing who is closer to me or not

37. I wonder what the situation is for Zimbabweans (living in Zambia) whenever they visit their relations back home!!!!!!!!!!!!!

38. Ah… not me.

39. That story is true for a lot of us. I am going back home in about two month’s time after having been away for one year and I know am in trouble. But people have to understand that you cannot afford to buy for everyone even if you have a good job. There is nothing unAfrican about it.

40. Good story. I will be travelling to the USA and these guys who mop other people’s buttocks will trouble me for extra cash. It happens quite a lot when i travel to that part of the world. Poverty is everywhere.

41. #37. Big Thing

    Zimbabweans know Zambia’s economic situation very well. What can they expect. Zambia is not South Africa.

    I’m sure they already know that nothing is going back. Maybe a few butterscotch sweets. Zambia has nothing to offer.

42. so long children remain assets in Zambia(“mayo mpapa naine nkakupape”), the above scenario will never be overcome.

43. This story is rubbish and an insult to the people in diaspora. If it happened I feel sorry for that person.

    This is the reason why Africa will never develop-DEPENDENCY! Why should one be worrying about going to pay school fees for a child in Zed when he does not even pay for his kids (directly I mean)? We have been fooled by these *****s in government that education should be paid for and believed them. There are certain countries and I mean developed ones where children are in the same class enjoying the facilities and one pays the other doesn`t.

    That family is a stupid family to have behaved the way they did. Why not be angry with the government?

44. Cont. African governments are not responsible for anything. We used to have people going to school in villages and ending up becoming engineers and doctors. I doubt these things still happen. Why? Why should one be given a prescription to go and buy drugs when they are admitted to UTH? It has now got so bad that one has got to bring a mattress as well when admitted to hospital.

    No wonder Mugabe is still president. Africa is beautiful. Why worry about the ***** on the streets when you can fly to Europe even when America and Britain are saying no! A Phiri anabwela? Rubbish, what if that person also has children?

45. Make it clear to your relatives what you re doing abroad.If u lie to them that you re doing fine of course they will expect alot. Tell them that even u, u re struggling for survival out there. Your relatives will understand you. They re human. not kulibonesha!

46. to ‘o u sorry asses who said i was stingy! 🙂

47. Some relatives are driven by greed only thinking of themselves and yet they know that the person who has come from overseas has other relatives apart from themselves. On the other hand, some of our relatives are really quite needy and can’t help but ask/beg for whatever help can be given.

    It is also best to keep in touch with what’s going on back home. For instance, the business of taking chocolates is long gone. And with only 20kg, even if you are well meaning, you can only take so much.

    Some relatives are understanding and that’s fine. Those that aren’t, it’s best to diplomatically tell them you have not been swimming in a sea of money !

48. Spot on #45. There is too much pretence by SOME people in the diaspora. Be real and tell people what you do. The stories you tell them make them expect alot from you. Some of you just work for bills (from one shift to another – day & night) yet when you go or call home you sound like you are in heaven. Reap what you sow.

49. interesting story,i love it.got lots of truth in it.i personally try to get gifts 4 as many people as i can but not all,and those i leave out really complain but wat can i do…to an extent were even those u give are not satisfied with the gift….bwafya.

50. I guess it’s time some one started getting the greed out of their hearts and minds. True indeed, unless our culture changes on this we will never develop. If going abroad is the greatest achievement read by everyone, then you may have to be stronger than expected my friend. Otherwise, realize that no matter what you do, you will never please everyone; and if you can’t please everyone, please yourself. Times are hard now!
    This is the same thing when someone starts work. They think he has it all, and hence get the guarantee of handouts every other month in turns.

51. 50 ..contd:

    If there are six teams, and each one thinks six months is enough breathing space for you, after all their individual judgment says you’d have only helped each one of them twice in one year. Tabatasha. Be quick to announce projects to the closest members of your families and stress it that you are abroad just to fund raise.Involve them in your projects maybe they’ll start seeing it differently. Otherwise, for the rest … I guess you can’t please everyone!

52. Problem is unnu love to touch down Lusaka Int. Airport inna yu best clothes an yu bling. Weh do you expect? If unnu come home like I an’ I Congo Bongo, inna mi sandals and mi khaki suit, then de I dem know seh nuh dunza na deh, seen?

53. Dont bother yourselves too much. When did you last visit Kamwala market. Just visit those chinese shops there on your first day home. All those coming after will love you forever. No one will know the difference.

54. sarah u r foolish

55. Your story sounds to me that you are now thinking like one who has always lived abroad. You sound like Aphiri anabwela. People like you are a waste of time because you quickly forgot that those are typical Zambian problems and if you are never prepared for them you will never be prepared ever. Stay away from your loving relatives, is what you implying we should say to you. Some of you only go abroad to learn English, that’s it. No profit to your family. Here is my BIG advice to you. Work hard and go back and help your poor relatives. Stop mourning.

56. Haha this is funny suddenly we are all abroad now…???

    i recorgnise some names on here that have been bloggin for a

    while…STATING THEY ARE IN ZED…haha very interesting…:))

57. Am abroad but i still get gifts from mbala.My dear your family is useless.I get a call every week asking if am fine with my and wife.
    Am sure you might have told them you are doing fine.

58. Linda and Womba muletusebanya. Nga muli nchushi even mu diaspora, dont even go home to Zambia to embarrass yourself. If you cant afford, forget it. Dont cry for grapes you cant reach. Ishina fye ati muli abroad? Look at the mansions balekula aba nensu mu Zambia. Myotoka nomba fyani pa Cairo Road naba Mander Hill naba Akeds!! Oh, oh, bashi Chilufya ati ni Archades not Akeds.

59. My sister you are not alone. I decided to visit my family last year and upon arrival every one was asking for cash.In trying to please them my account was reduced to nothing.

    I instead decided to get a job in Zambia of which I was offered but seeing the poverty back home I changed my mind .

    I am in a foreign country and only plan to go back pa Zed when time to settle there comes.

60. Bane tell yo relatives the truth, should not let them think that you swim in buks out their when in actual fact mostly its struggle day after day. The issue of choclates is long gone, think big and invest reasonably.

61. This article and the responses show just why we are failing to crawl out of poverty in Zambia and Africa in general. The difference between a Chinese and an African is that from birth the Chinese understands how food comes on the plate where as the African understands more how to eat but is loathe to think how to become self sufficient.Our leaders queue up in Beijng with begging bowls on a daily basis – the ultimate manifestation of our in built philosophy that others owe us a lunch. I say wake up. You dedicate a large chunk of your budget to beer and you expect your niece living under tight conditions in SA or whatever to be showering presents on you? Whats the difference between this

62. type of behaviour and fraud? My advice to all of you is to cut this nonsense. You are fantasizing if you think you can take care of everybody, dishing out presents for everybody with a blood link. Its a common theme in our society, expending energies on the unproductive ventures – money sinks. We spend most of our money and time on weddings, presents, and other luxuries that strictly speaking we cannot afford. The philosophy should change from investing in goods for today to goods for the future. From Govt to individuals this is what should drive us, the desire to secure the future by cutting on luxuries and pouring into investment for the future.

63. Hey! I’m tempted to ask what tribe you are! Where I come from peolpe are civilised even in their poverty. 72 is a huge number and I think you are from one of those that have tarnished the political arena to the extent of makiing it just a den of thieves!

    Why do you people want to make Zambia look so ‘fifth world’ when the kwacha is becoming stronger and we can now afford bread? Be Frank, say you were ashamed to realise R200 is nothing to an average Zambia and we have Tobleron chocolates, copenhagen butter cookies and Ferari toys in almost all shops in the country. If you thought you would come back to Zambia and be treated like a goddess because you had a ka $3000.00 in your purse, sorry!

64. Dear Linda, In Zambia,we are no longer as poor as you imagine, that is why you mistake yor relatives for ungreatful *****s.

    Our satiation levels have shifted upwards – we no longer live in tiny two bedroomed houses like the one you left Kaunda in, before independence. At one time, Sata razed those down!! It is common now for a Zambian to build a two storey house + a swimming pool and a Jakuzi in the master bedroom!

    And, do not come back because you left and thought you were smart, make yourself at home nkweena ooko kumasi aabanamazai!.

65. Rubbish! Why didn’t you explain the situation to your relatives? Thats why they think you are stingy, because you don’t explain how you sleep in shacks abroad.

66. mmmm

67. Kulundapo ulubilo lwakubwela, capital nga yapwa!

    I just do the ‘now you see now you dont’ act! A bit of ‘change’ – ama 10pin each :-)- to sisters, aunties, na ba neighbour, nama guys twalenwa nabo Chibuku akale, na story sana… booze with uncles – black them out quickly – then I use their car(of course I buy the petrol) to check-out my friends who usually celebrate my visit with lots of mosi and goat meat!(I do the same favors when they visit where I am, its called medium to long term investment strategy). The next time I see my family is when I am saying bye or dropping the car escorted by a friend in another car to drop me at the airport – usually late, so not much bother…as long as.

68. agree with 16. Sarah and 13. Lesa twafweni. I remember when I was a kid we complained about the fact my uncle only brought us colouring pencils when he came from abroad! Now it is my turn living abroad I realised how tough it is when I went home a couple of years back and had to buy gifts and for those I didn’t have enough time to shop for I had to budget to leave some money when I visited! On the plus side as per the Windhoek brother, EVERYWHERE I visited had laid on feasts and all my aunts came to receive me at the airport on my arrival! I’m talking even my 70+ aunt who is the oldest in my mum’s family who came with the chitenge and ululating! It was emotional but I had a nice time!

69. The economic situ in Zambia is still depressing for many. The lack of infrastructure in rural areas is not helping. Who would rather stay in Misisi than in a village with a fertile piece of land with a good road, access to medical centre and a school for children to go to? The reality is that government is not servicing the rural areas. The tax system also leaves much to be desired. It needs to be revamped. Marketers/small businessmen with incomes of more than ZMK10, 000, 000/month do not get taxed, while people getting less than ZMK1, 000, 000 get taxed just because they are on some payroll. Explain to your relatives that the Europe/America/Exotic land they see on TV is for stars!!!

70. Mulyobo, kaMucende Ushiya, – you missed the point m’dala, Linda’s story is not saying Zambia is poor, in one sense it is appreceiating the improvements at home and informing us that we shouldnt fear to go back empty handed (or that we should prepare more than usual), in another sense it is highlighting the unnecessary perceptions or expectations of us (abroad) by our relatives when we visit them, I am abroad and make enough money to enjoy the ‘luxury’ here… but with the Kwacha strengthening its a different story. Wilamona kwati twali tumpa!

71. I Live in abroad too, And everytime i visit home i always face the same problem. honestly you cant help evryone but i can only help my parents and the 10 orphans my brothers and sister have left behind. These are on my budget the rest i can only help when its necessary. They think we just pick money from the street, We work just like any one

72. Its unfortunate that pipo in diaspora still think they are better than those at home. Mind you, a lot of Zambians home have been in diaspora before, and they know and appreciate the suffering you pipo go thru to make a living. But of course if you are in Zambia and doing nothing and with little or no education, you would definately do a bit better doing broom-pushing related jobes in Europe or USA. But times are changing, and pipo should realise that the way they left Zambia 10 or 15 yrs ago is no longer the same. Even the mind set among pipo at home has been changing. So Brothers think about it and stop demeaning home. Otherwise you will cont suffering in those ‘small boxes’ u call apartmen

73. issssssssh som pipo r jst too unrealistic aweeeeee sure bantu….waaaaat this story is sayin actually tru mwe..

74. Critic where do you live?

75. #Rubbish
    When god was handing out culture the Bemba’s were not there, look at your chief he dances like a prostitute.

76. Ili lyashi lyakosa. I live outside Zambia too and was in Zambia last wk. The experience above is true to some extent though it is the same whether u live within Z or not. As long as u are seen to be doing relatively fine, there are expectations.

77. I work so hard for my dough, all my expensive or designer stuff I come back with. I will will give out stuff to ONLY true peeps.

78. MWALISHIBA OFONCHITA KUNO PAKUTI MU LE TUMA AMA I WANT THIS I WANT THAT?!!!EH BROOD ***** I GO TO SCHOOL 8AM TO 1PM 3PM -11PM AT WORK IMWE NAMULALA!!!!SCHOPET!!!! ALL IM BRING IS MY LOVE AND THAT BARAK OBAMA IS THE NEXT PRESIDO ….

    IM JOKINKING I LOVE MA FAM…ALLWAYS BUY THEM SOMETHING…

79. #12 “Chuchu” You are right
    This is a real Life Stories, its happens everyday. Its like an HIV virus. The good news is that we can prevent it. Here is my proposal
    We have to teach all our young relatives the importance of education.It will take some time but it will surely pay in future once all of them are self reliance.If we achieve this, our family will develop and so will the economy of our country.

    I know that some of you come from very rich families but honestly, riches will not be there forever especially if your future generation do not take education seriously.If your rich kids are not educated, they will sell all the assets and will end up poor someday.

80. This is a real life story

    Let us start now preaching and assisting our relatives to get good education. Complaining well doing nothing to solve the problem will not help at all!!!!!!There are so many of us on this blog, if each of us assists one relative we will be a step ahead.

81. You pipo out there in dispora when you are brought in as cargos pls dont except relatives to be there for you to receive yr corpses since you are not happy to be received when you in good healthy. Make sure you dudes out there you makes your own burial arrangements as well, pay grave diggers well in advance since relatives are a bother to you.

82. Good point # 79 and 80. Thats the way to go. When you assist them, in future they will even appreciate you and in a way you are teaching them to help others (to be responsible) when they grow. Lets not be stingy with the little money that we have, the reward is there in heaven.

83. #82 Mwaca Thanks, we have to educate each other and take action immediately.

84. My people my advise is help where you can, when you can and if you can. If a relative has issues with that, well that one relative less you have to worry about.

85. The tag of war between Zedians in Diaspora and in Zed is one i always fail to fathom.Its usually pet the very reason that one has decided to stay abroad despite the bills and whatever you call them is reason enough that they are getting it better.What is better for one person may not be for the other e.g some would put up with taking an own mattress to UTH whilst others just cannot,others are content with eating Ubwali everyday with rape whilst others look beyond.Life is diversy,others argue for lack of exposure whilst others a matter of sour garapes.The world is becoming a very small globe.There can be a funeral in Chipata,one from london would reach before the person in Kitwe.

86. In all this petty talk how does the Nation Zambia benefit from it?The Government of Ghana has realised that its foreigners living abroad are the no 2 foreign exchange earner and to this effect they have established a bank through which its nationals living abroad are allowed to channel their monies to Ghana.Thus with all the Government rebates,it has in the same vain encouraged Ghanaians to invest back home through incentives etc Ghanas forex earning has grown from an already high.This is what should pre-occupy us and not pettiness of gifts and the likes.Our colleagues in the Diaspora we need you back home do not stop visiting us because of our hungry chisese mouths we love you.

87. Tambashila, I really hope you are having a nice time. You are difinitely wise, thats why you are abroad but I wanted our friend to look at home with a positive attitude. It is not a jungle of monkeys and (depending of which tribe she is) if her relatives are extremely unreasonable – Tough!. They would probably behave the same if she was in Kitwe and they were villagers kwa Mushili.

    My folks wouldn’t treatme like that If I landed from England.

    Feel proud to be Zambian, and it seems you are. Good day.

88. What’s the problem? If you have come back for good, tell your folks not to expect anything since you have come to join them. If you’re going back again, give them all you have and remain naked (ubwamba) and then start begging the same relatives who stripped you. I guarantee you, next time they won’t beg you again. In any case, you can always replace it when you get back. It’s just material things. After all you will never carry a single thing when you die!

89. mwakula ilishanya mubucushi bwenu abroad ifwe mu zed cilelila. I am a proud Zambian, tonga by tribe with a chain of relatives who are self suffiecient in that they know what the Bible says, ” He who doesnt want to work, let him not eat”. What am saying is in as much as i am a civi servant, i take care of my two sisters and two brothers who are in private schools. reason being that, i and my family value education so much and not the chocolates, dollars, air tickets blah blah blah. Lets educate our relatives on the importance of education and be truthfull in whatever we do. Why cheat you relatives that Obama and BillGates are your closest pals and neighbours abroad, when all you do is kucaisa

90. Your story is a sad one but its not generalize the situation.

91. ….imwe mweba pa zed if bringing gifts to relatives and friends home is not a big deal, then why will those people be looking forward to getting something from a person coming from abroad. The worst people are the ones you find in clubs, pub, taverns or whatever you call them lately….mwe ba ku bulaya shaniko ka castle kamo or shiniko ama pounds, dollars, rands etc. That just bores me to death

92. Real problem is the dependence syndrom that we in the diaspora have created. We have made our relatives back home to literally depend on us for everything. The best we should do in order to uplift the living standards of our people is to sponsor our siblings in education. This will be investing in the future whereby the dependency syndrom will be broken.

93. ….ala #61 mulililo niwe wa landa…. People are just unbelievable and everybody here whose defending themselves, don’t forget this article and go gossiping behind (iwe wona ka nsapato ati bwachokela ku UK) when one of your relatives comes from abroad with nothing

94. zambian citizens are ol intelligent , only dat ther s no unity among each pipol. f everybody move 2 find decent ways of uplifting da present stardard of living instead of bein critical n envying s0me1 success. wel, ur life wil change n u’ll b a useful person nt only 2 ur fmily bt 2 ur country as well. ur gov’t cnt change ur standard of living without u exerting ur own effort.

95. Blesseth is the hand that giveth, than the one that receveth.

    I totally agree with Sarah.

    And You #22 why are you pretending to be a Mwisa. Why can’t you be the real Zambian.

96. In my family, our high maintenance situation has always been fueled by my mother. When I was growing up, all I heard from my mother was “after all I did for her, she gives me a cheap present!”. if she does something for anyone (and I mean anyone), she expects something expensive in return, and this kind of mentality has filtered into other members of the family. If someone visits from abroad and only brings a few dollars, or a small present, and they only stay three hours instead of the whole day, everyone will hear about how selfish the visitor was. I am terrified of accepting any help or favours from my own family because I may not be able to meet the ransom demands.

97. #95 It’s not about pretending to be whatever Mwisa means. I grew up having relatives in and out of the house. We hardly had any family time and I am sticking to my guns….the poorer relatives survived/survive without me….I land after a year and am supposed to be their salvation?! As someone says…people budget for beer and just coz someone is from abroad, I should feed the entire clan. Am guessing you’re in Zed elo chalikujuba kuma extended relations that come from abroad….I feel your pain!

98. After reading all this, i still cant believe that someone has a problem with helping out relatives. As zambians its natural to always want to go an extra mile- that of course is if you have, but even when you dont have we always want to help. I think the situ here has been exagerrated, what handouts?? people will only expect something from you if you have made them believe that you are doing well. You need to be real. If you are struggling where you are believe me you are better off at HOME. Dont talk about Zambians like they are always living on handouts waiting for you to come back.Times have changed! You need to come back HOME!

99. Proudzambian, “you need to come back home” is not the solution, it is part of the problem because it gives the impression that it’s better to “come back home” and wait for handouts than to work hard and have some level of self sufficiency. Just because someone can’t afford lavish gifts for greedy relatives does not mean that they should go back home. My best friend’s relatives begged her to come back home because she wasn’t getting rich in the US. They promised her a nice job. She came home, never found the job, and her husband is unemployed. They have five children and they are struggling. Now, her own relatives are laughing at her.

100. Everyone is different. If you live abroad and want to give gifts to relatives back home, it’s okay to do so. If people complain because the gift is not expensive enough, take it back and tell them why you are taking it back, and make sure you have a witness so the story doesn’t get spiced up. Then give the gift to someone who will appreciate it. There are a lot of poor people in Zambia who will appreciate what you give them. Keep giving those who appreciate, and stop giving those who don’t appreciate you. If the $15 Aeropsort school bag is not good enough because someone wants the $130 Samsonite school bag, they can go fetch it themselves with their own money.

101. My friend this situation is every where…even westerners living in afluent economies expect some present from their relatives living on the dark continent. I recently met a white canadian who was supprised that I complained about money in Ndola, coz he once lived there and enjoyed a high life. I think the solution is just to give if you can, but don’t get offended or even bothered if the receipient doesn’t appreciate. They can hung…after all it’s not an obligation…I for one think of myself before any one else…these bululus were even laughing at me when I was jobless with papers…saying I wasted my yrs in school. I now live large!

102. Guys do what you can to help.Helping our relatives financially is not the only help we can provide.101 has a point and thats why i am saying help where and when you can.Yes people back home are poor but there are some that live better than us as well.K40 000 is better than nothing.A beggar is not a chooser.Those in Zambia must know that its not all roses living in foreign land just as it is not all roses living in Zambia.So get what you can get and be thankful

103. I just visited Zambia a couple of weeks ago after 5 years. I have been out of Zambia for more than 12 years. I was surprised when one of the relatives asked me whether I would open a commercial bank when I come back. I was shocked at the dependance syndrome. People have mobile phones with no talk times. Bululus were asking for monoey to buy m.phones, talk time, TV’s etc and no one asked money for education or for starting something productive. The dependancy syndrome is so high that many able bodied individuals have turned themselves into beggars.

104. #99 I wouldnt classify the people back home as greedy, neither would i say that they are just sitting waiting for handouts (depending on one’s family)i think people in Zambia just like everywhere else are working hard infact very hard in order to have some level of self sufficiency. I think the notion of “going abroad for greener pasturesis the issue that has misled people” With the brain drain going on the impression created is that you are doing fine regardless of the odd job you may be doing! thefore its important for us with these relative to make sure that we give them the correct impression! They are humans capable of understanding!

105. It’s a problem when you are the only clansman living abroad.

     When I go to visit back home I always make sure that I am out at drinking at some pub or on the road some where(without a cell phone). Those nagging relatives will quite often give up the manhunt for you. I visit only the relative I want to see.

106. zed will always be zed..
     so dont get munkongole ukubasekesha if any thing eba lelila..

107. Just buy them Bibles, surely they wont frown on the word of Gad.

108. L. the best thing to do next time,is just tell them the truth about the 20kg allowance on the plane and carry enough cash on you. By the way I didn’t know Johannesburg
     is abroad.Since you mention being from abroad and you carried R250.You must be a abit showy yourself and that’s why they expect so much from you. Learn to be yourself and simple, c’mmon there are better places than JOZZY!!!!!!!

109. On the one hand – people at home CAN be quite inconsiderate and expect gifts without taking into account ones financial position even though they are abroad where it is so-called rosy which it is clearly not!.

     On the other, it is important to appreciate that Zed has changed and so candy wont suffice! It is important to balance bewteen the two.

     Try offering small tokens, explaining that you do not have money and help where you can! Those who dont want to interact with you for not bringing anything are really being extremely inconsiderate.

110. There is a new trend abroad when one books out, kicks the bucket, stops breathing, afwa, a ka daya aka dies we just cremate cis ashes are cheaper to mail to zed or even cheaper ask some one hitting zed to carry a ziplick bag for you.

     P.S
     pa south africa tepa abroad

111. ba sally LOL mwalasa!

112. Mulebeba balekosa abena Zed.

113. the story is very true thought some pipo mis interpret her point.the fact is you will always get this experience sometime people ask to see if you have a shot hand,they even say look at her shoes,her hair as though she is not from abroad.last yr i was visiting home as mum was ill i met a lady i know from the uk who was attending her mothers funeral,we talked i asked when she was geting back,a friend i was with asked me who she was i told her i worked with her yrs back and now works in the uk.my friends reaction disapointed me as she expected to see bling on her.i told her priorities abroad and back home are not the same.when you send money 4 school they buy bling and give you excuses.

114. our prob is,it matters what poeple think of you than face reality and set priorities right(status core).they want to have best clothes while those that seriously labour for the money plan well.its not just family even friends,when they know you are in,they even take you out as you can spend well.but once they study abroad and come back then they undertstand especialy young and spoiled bros we have,ukasanga balyupa nempali,you give him money for school he asks 4 tripple figure the rest he shows off his sis is really abraod we want to pretend it not happening but its reality.i see pipo with fek standards of life especily lsk just to fit in.here pipo dont care your life is your bussiness.

115. I went for my father’s funeral in February…an unexpected and unplanned trip back to Zambia and yet the relatives still can to ask for money for presents as I mourned…

116. thats Zambians for you

117. i think #107 u are right

118. haven’t been home in 10 years so its going to be crazy if I can afford to go next year. I’ll be taking my wife and daughter so that is the biggest gift I can give them. I’ve expanded the clan.
     I will go with little and comeback with loads….I’m going to flip the system on its head. Its not like I can go to shops and get all those commodities that no one does better than Zambia so thats what I’ll be asking for.

119. SOME OF YOU ARE THE ONES SUFERING MUGONA TEN MUKAROOM THREE JOBS ONE PERSON WHAT A SHAME AM TAKING WY FAMILY SHOPING IN DEC AN ONE ROUND TRIP IN UK AN SURELY BUCK TO MY WELL PAYING JOB EEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH PA ZED CHE NIZII

120. In all fairness,how muny zambians can afford to shop from manda hill let alone abroad?
     Very few people get jobs on merit its who you know.people living abroad migrated from home for variuos reasons,education,
     or to provide for their family.I don’t regret having 2 jobs at least i don’t have to bribe someone to get bits and bobs.
     CORRUPTION BACK HOME IS STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE AND UNFORTUNATELY If YOU DON’T KNOW ‘ANYONE’ YOU GET STUCK.Lets be realistic and stop slagging off people who are abroad to make ends meet,only a handful of zambians can afford 3 decent meals a day.God help us.

121. Is it that in Europe and maybe Australia people have 3 jobs? I am in the US and alot of Zed people that I know have 1 job. So ifyo ulesaambaila #119 am not sure what u taking about. I have been to the UK so I dont know how the job market is there…fellow blogger educate us about these 3 jobs abroad coz pa States its not there

122. Beauty #121

     please stop pretending USA probably has more people with more than one job a day just to pay monthly bills. This is the problem with Zambians abroad, pretence, pretence.

     Get real

123. Iyokwena bonse muli abroad naine ndeisa next year so that i join this relative frenzy!!!

124. Not every relative is excited about meaningless presents from abroad. The problem with most people abroad is that they big up their situation projecting a wrong picture about their status abroad. Explaining to relatives about your situation i.e. financially before hand would be helpful. Not all Zambian families are into what did you bring back for me…!! Tell the truth to relatives and keep in touch all the time. Tell it how it is!!

125. MUZUNGU 40 It is good that you are able to clean your own backside with whatever means you use-NEWSPAPER -and remember to wash your filthy hands

126. I am abroad in Europe for my MSc. What i have observed is that Zed is the best place to be. The slave mentallity is still existing here, ladies and gentlemen, only its been overshadowed by a reasonable pay at the monthend. And though reasonable, saving is a big challenge.

127. Number 126 I agree with your comments. I have an MBA from a top school, and I have a good job here in Canada. However, it is a constant strugle to be recognised as a professional.

     I think we have enslaved ourselves mentally into believing that living abraod is better. In ZED you only need a good education and first class grades and in in time your sistuation improves. I feel sad for people who are now slaving with 2 or 3 jobs. Will they keep up when they are old, have they brought property? The guy in Kalingalinga is well off with his one bedroom house than a renter of an expensive property abroad.

128. # 126 and 127, i should applaud you guys clear picture of the so called ”abroad”. Equally am doing my MSc in the UK but i have no intention of remaining for i know being in Zed i will be much better off than subjecting myself to conditions you’ve said.

129. I am seriously contemplating coming back home. I have got a reasonable middle management job here in the UK with a decent salary and with my expereience and qualifications I know I can be competitive anywhere in the world.

     Has Zed got as may opportunities as here and do we still have the usual corrupt “it’s who you know attitude”. I am able to get a loan of £30k withing 48grs I walk in a bank. Will I be able to get the same opportunities there?

     Serious answers only would help me make this decision.ta.

130. Nchimunya
     I work for one of the universities in Zambia! I dont know how long you have been away, but things have really changed! We send a lot of young pipo to universities abroad, mostly UK USA and the scandinavian countries for post graduate studies. I happy to tell you that more than 80% return and work for the university! About loans, i dont think that would be a problem at all! Maybe it might take slightly longer that 48hrs but garanteed you will get your loan. In my work place even plumbers and sewer attendants have had access to loans! Obvously the situation is yet to improve some more, but i can assure you living in Zambia is far much better than living say Botswana!

Comments are closed.