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Dreaming of my ex

By editor
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Dear LT bloggers,

I am a lady aged 40.  I was going out with this gentleman before I married my husband.  I must admit that I loved him so much but he had a problem of accepting my daughter and my relatives so I decided to call it quits.
I am now married to this man who I feel loves me so much and I do love him as well. My problem is when ever I sleep I keep on having fun dreams with my ex-boyfriend.

Does it mean he is using JUJU on me or what?  This old affair was there some 10 – 15 years now.
To make it worse he has even befriended my cousin whom he works with at the same Company which puzzles me a lot. Is he trying to keep track of my life and my wonderful husband?  If any one can help I will
appreciate.

Sunkie

editor
editorhttp://www.lusakatimes.com

206 COMMENTS

  5. I thing i can only tell you is that you loved this ex of yours so much such that even after having married the husband that you are with ryt now you stiil think of him. what does this mean? you have failed to move on you still dont love you husband as much as you used to love your ex. my sister move on.

  6. so Ba sister, what are you trying to do or suggest??? pipo move on. the past is past. you are now a married woman. the moment to you start thinkin about the past, the next thing you will want him to hold him next u will be in bed with him. is that where you wnt to be??? i suggest you stick to you vows and dream about your current hubby, be carefull with what you feed your mind.

  7. u are a disgrace to womanwood. wat the (f word) are thinking about. u have urself a man that loves you so much please get a life.

  8. Thats true BBB you are 100% correct i was actually thinking in the same lines. It is like, even if this lady is married to a new hasband, she still loves the old one, but she can’t come out openly and thats why she is even jeriousy of him befriending her cousine, whats wrong with that?

    For sure mulichipuba mamy

  9. life starts at 40 iwe lady you are married so forget about that ex of yours you have a crisis in your family now which can lead you to a divorce ,is your husband giving you the attention you deserve?i know that the problem is with you ,you just want to go back to your ex but if its juju i beg start going to church because only Jesus can help out.if you really love you husband more that your ex then nothing wrong will happen if not you end up with your ex but not for long becaues a lot of years have past that love you had to each other is different now

  11. From the way u a telling the story it sounds like u left your Ex when u were still in love.the emotion of love goes so deep in all the faculties of the mind.I still believe and accept that not all love relatioinships leave the same imprint in the mind.Your Ex could have been one guy who gave u a good screw and this is what is still haunting u.If the current guy was giving u a better one your mind could have been cured and no more ex dreams

  12. God’s word is clear on pre-marital sex. It is very wrong and should be avoided at all cost. It can have a serious impact in the future. What you are experiencing is nothing to do with witchcraft but your past experience. You compare the acts of your past ex and your current husband. You should ask God’s forviness and God forgives in a large way. Then move on. It is Satan who wants you to be negative about it despite repentance. Otherwise, you are putting your family under serious risk. Contact a Jehovah’s witness and you will be assisted and given relevant material on the subject. Discussions on the internet may not help you much.

  13. Do you believe in power of prayer. Start praying nightly before you go to bed to protect yourself from those demons which comes to have sex with you at night. JESUS IS ABLE!

  14. Uyu umwanakashi CHIPUBA !!!!!!!!!!!! Juju kwisa uli hule fye chapwa? How can you making love with the man you claim to love and be thinking of your ex? Then you do not love and the love making is just matrimonial for you. Uluse abalume bobe, ninshi abane balemona kwati nabakulya iya best kanshi ifima ntontonkanyo fyobe fyachiba kumbi.

  16. Much as you can not stop yourself from “thinking” about this man, you must kno that dreams are partly due to “thinking” about something TOO much or eating TOO much. pray hard to stop the bad dreams.

  17. My dear sister please move on,10-15 yrs is a long time and any one mature should realise and set there priorities right in life.i mean you have a many who love’s you and your family a lot so what more can you ask from GOD. Do you realise how many men and women are looking for a Love partner out their? stop being silly and focus on your future with your family.

  18. PRAY before going to sleep. Read 2 Corithians 5 V 17.
    With such dreams you will soon start calling your ex boyfriend’s name in your dreams and your husband will think you are seeing this man again. Be born again and start new life in Christ Jesus.

  19. my dear lady what you are experiencing dreaming your ex is a spiritual issue. you have what is called a sexual soul tie, you need deliverance prayers to be free. actually many people who are married have experiences as you but are afraid to come out and say there problem. the first step to deliverance is admitting you have a problem. my suggestion is repent,receive christ and be free

  21. Baby c ka job kacipitilila but ilyashi lyaumfwika nomba this lady must have been thinking about how they used to have sex with the ex and how he was taking care of her then she started dreaming because whatever your mind thinks of remains in sub-consiuos (sp)and there,s a high possibility of dreaming about them.let her Forget about her previous life concentrate!Baby C how can someone dream having sex with somone when the hus is next to her.Sad.Baby c What is your advise?

  27. You shudnt have left your ex. Marriage of convenience doesnt work. If its a sex…..your hubby not satisfying you, guide him. Explain to him what turns you on. Dont be shy. If its trully a love thing then why the f#@k did you marry him. Deal with your current issues and make it work. Dwelling in the past will only lead to problems.

  29. You see where changing sex partners can take you! what you are now doing is comapring your ex’s sexual capabilities with that of your current hubbie what i think is that your ex was such a good lover that he made a very serious impression on your sexual life and you think this one cant much up to him. It is a shame get over it! You wicked thing. Your husbund will read about this and he will be very upset with you.

  30. Wena Musali tuwe ulihule how can you think about the old guy you had many years ago.Stop dreaming about this man.Enjoy your husband he is better than you are dreaming.

  31. Dear girl, I don’t think he is using juju on you especially that hez now dealing with your cousin. Stop reminiscing about your past and comparing with what you currently have. Think about yo husband and all the good things he does for you; avoid discussing yo ex with yo cousin. Try to spend quality time with yo husband.

    Bamambala bonse mwebashilaupa learn from such experiences; jumping from one person to the other in the name of looking for Mr/Mrs right is not good. Though not easy, avoid pre-marital sex and wait until you are in the institution!

  32. she looks like a sex maniac.that what she wants from this guy.SHE IS CHEAP AND A DISGRACE TO HUMANITY.I FEEL FOR THE HUBBY

  34. Don’t worry they are just dreams. We would be worried if you told us that you fantasize about him. But since they are just dreams u shouldn’t worry after all everyone dreams. Me am even worse, I dream am dating J-Lo.

  36. Ah! Quite a peculiar problem you have here…ah! No, no, worry not, I’ve dealt with such cases in my line of work. Its simple, all you have to do is dig a whole in your backyard, bury yourself for two hours after midnight, then bury your husband around 5am and the problem should be solved. Or, or, you could just get over your ex boyfriend and stop having naughty dreams about him you naughty, naughty lady!

  37. I think just concerntrate on your hubby and forget about your ex. Dreaming about him will just bring problems espacially if you run into him. Move on, you even have a hubby who loves you why waste such a good marriage. If only you knew what others are going through you wouldnt be having those dreams.

  39. Are these tuma stories real or is LT just inventing them to maintain blogging? So what if a girl can’t get over her ex? LT, please bring us authentic stories, so that we can make even more authentic contributions instead of wasting our time with bad copies of Nigerian movies!

  40. I can smell something fishy! Ur ex has never communicated with u (U didn’t say so, so I assume)yet there you are, busy reminiscing about him. Stop accusing him of using JUJU, u could be the one who was more prone to such devilish acts of pulling men using juju. If u r hapily married and love ur hubby as u claim, why shud such ill driven dreams start occuring to u after quiting with ur ex 15 yrs ago? Is it the sex part u miss most or what? U haven’t disclosed the other side and am sure when u called off the relationship with ur ex, u were still hot about him and now it haunts u. Get a life lady, now u r old, he’d prefer something modern. Good luck in ur change of dreams! Don’t divorce Oga!

  42. Off Topic!! i am stranded, are there no beautiful women out there who will not dream about there Exs. i urgently need one or two!!Please contact me

  43. you only dreaming of him coz u r letting your mind think of him. if u stop thinking of him… the dreams will go.

    and for the juju part, i always say, “if u believe in it… it will affect you and if u dont, it wont affect you”.

    good day

  44. True #39. We need issue based topics not some skunk who has post mischievous effects haunting her thick head! It’s a waste of time. the country is at crossroads so we’d rather blog on issues that are of national interest and not “Individual Gross Bedroom Mismanagement”. Twakana. The lady doesn’t even look 40! LT, better get real and start censoring what you post. Bring such stories when the nation has nothing to talk about. We pay for internet facilities ka!

  45. This is a total lie…there is no way a married woman can display her picture on such a discussion. Please bloggers lets be real and lest try to bring real issues on this site than lies like this woman. What if your husband sees this picture or his relatives informs when they see her picture here??? She is a fool…

  47. I know both you and your hubby, dont worry as you keep dreaming about your ex of 15 years I will handle your hubby with care he will never regret. Thanks for exposing yourself

  53. LT can let my comments be posted please! I take it this is a free blogging site which entertains opinions from individuals of diverse character and bearing in mind the fact that opinions are neither right nor wrong, I would appreciate if you let my comments be posted. Stop blocking them, lets be democratic!

  55. ba mutinta.everytime you are in bed you always think about him coz of what and how he used to do it.he was better than that guy hence you will never forget about him unless you teach your husband how the former used to do it.since you have a child already, your husband should understand,accept and appreciate your proficiency.wish you good and pray pliz

  56. Hey my sista.wat type of dreams do u have kanshi??we want to advise u accordingly…..otherwise,all i can say is jst move on,appreciate & treasure wat u have!

  58. Dreams of that nature are not right. They are very bad indicators. You need to pray in the name of Jesus Christ that such a thing leaves and disappears from your life.

    You have a husband. The one you share your bed with. It is therefore strange that your subconscious should always take you to your ex when the one you are physically sleeping next to is innocently oblivious of your mind games. You are betraying your husband. Try very hard and don’t think too much about your ex. The fact that you’ve mentioned his relationships with your cousin means you care a lot about him. It is not too late for you to correct and normalise the situation. GOD bless you.

  59. Move on & look after your husband and daughter or else you risk going back to square one. Mind you, you are one of the luck ones to find yourself a hubby willing to look after your child. You are already playing a very dangerous game. MOVE ON.

  60. Hey! You forgot to mention that you think of him even during the day. Dreams don’t just come from nowhere. They come from somewhere.

  62. Just make sure that when you go to sleep tonight and he tries to make a move on you in your dreams, this time don’t enjoy it, SLAP HIM!! He will never come back to you in your dreams again!! If you don’t slap him in your dreams and in stead you choose to enjoy yourself PLEASE don’t come back here to waste our time again!!!

  63. you really love your ex but grow up and move on with your life ,i know what you are missing but just forget and love your husband.Stop thinking too much about your ex look out for the best in your husband

  66. you are right Aaron Obama, how come her pic is there and she looks like she`s in a hospital bed, my dear are you admitted for dreaming about your ex or wat ?

  68. Firstly, that is probaly not her picture, its just a post.
    Secondly, it all starts with the mind, today its a dreamn, tomorrow you will want to fufill it.Your ex did not love your child and your relatives, so no matter how good the sex was, he didn’t love you either.If man can’t love your child and family and it was such a problem that you left him, there is your proof.Stop living in the past and appreciate what you have now before you lose it.If your ex thought of you as half as much ss you think of him, he would have contacted you instead of befriending your cousin.Please seek God and pray very hard!!!

  70. #39 (and other like-minded bloggers)- Whether the story is real or not is immaterial. If the topic does not tickle your fancy, move on or go post elsewhere, where your interests lie. Instead of lodging your complaint among those who are taking the issue seriously, either contact LT directly to ascertain the genuineness of the letter or simply lodge a complaint in the right forum. Even on ‘Dear Margo’ or ‘Abby’ or even Sunday Times, nobody writes to ask ‘Are these stories real?’. Those who have an answer provide one, those who don’t or are not interested skip to the next page. No one is held under duress.

  71. its very difficult to advise coz you have left alot of details.Atleast you could have told us the differences between the men or you could have said something in terms of inches or centimeters.All I can say is move on and seek God s guidance.The best way to avoid juju is to be good christian

  73. Iwe umulume obe takufishapo limbi nichakolwa thats why yo dream other men..
    You ned nice sex and yo shll never dream…discuss marital sex satisfaction with yo husband, tell him to wait for yo till yo are ready and ask him to touch yo most sensitive parts… not umulume obe alekushila pashila wakulalotafye lyonse…

  75. its normal if the husband cant reach up where your ex reached. its one thing to love and another to fulfill/satisfy some hunger.whatever the case move on and accept your ex as an ex.You cant kill him.He has to live but put him off your mind somwhow

  77. First of all, you do not look anything like 40 years old, if thats you in the picture!

    Simple advise. Once you have let go of something and have made up your mind, it should not have any strings attached to it. For you to start having dreams about this person, it means that there are still some connections somewhere. You need to be honest with yourself before you can even be honest to your husband.

    Its an advise so you can take it or leave it. Enjoy your day.

  78. Mucende sana uyu mwanakashi efyo alemoneka kwati nibalya abalelepo ne mbwa akale elyo tabanaka aba kwati iganga wamusukwila kuli sex.

  79. Tamwakwata amano mami. You seriously want to lose your husband (which you will if you keep with that behaviour) over an ex from 10-15 years ago??? Get your act straight. Pray over it coz obviously it’s a soul tie which u didn’t break or a spiritual husband coming as an ex. God help you

  80. Help!!!!!!!!! my foot!,What dream, are you even sure you want advice. go for serious deliverance from that your spiritual husband.At your age of forty you must know that there is no contact between ones dream and another person, Go! go and seek spiritual deliverance from that filthy spirit. Its not anything to fantasise about such that you even change my impression on this wonderfull site.

  83. Imwe a mai, did you have any discussion with your nkhoswe? it’s like you didn’t share this because it’s very shameful and I think your relatives are very disappointed with your behaviour? your ex boy friend was giving you a good one than your husband and thats why you can’t forget about him.Ndiwe chipuba as big as you are, whatadvice are you going tell your sisters.

  86. #26 LB, Sichopet wanvela. how do you tell that she is Tonga. of all tribes in Zed u jus pick on Tonga.

    As for the lady, hello!, do hear yourself? 40(+5) years old (plus the subtracted years). you are too old to solve such problems by yourself.if you were 27 (+0) years like me i would understand.so please solve it yourself and give us the solution twaunfwana….

  88. Imwe bantu! y muvutika. This must be fictitous, 15 years of funny dreams. #86 might be right, if the story is indeed real, hey mummy give us the solution.

  92. MY DAER LIFE IS WOMDERFUL ESPECIALLY WITH A LOVING HUSBAND.THERE’S NOTHING SWEET THAN HAVING A NICE GUY HOME.PLIZ CHERISH AND FORGET ABOUT THAT THING!

  93. iwe chi # 87, you also need deliverance from your “all knowing attitude” i thought she was the one getting advice may be somehow somewere you have a similar problem.are you sure a person must dream of an ex lover of 15yrs past?

    Deliverance if she cant pray for herself as i can see for her to bring it up here. Ka # 86 am on you wait and see…………..

    na kupingila ule enda na ba polici,

  94. This woman is a prostitute,she left the huband and married to this man. for real if she is hapilly married the husband can’t allow her to write these rubish on this blog, first she had a baby somewhere and then married to the ex and again the current one. don’t listen to prostitutes,waste of time,woman can you please go to hell or hang yourself.

  95. its a game of chance we all have passed through such experiences once its over its over go on with your lie and husband i think he has noticed your behaviour as of late, be steady in your dreams or when having sex because you might shout your EX is name and end up losing both of them

  97. I have a strong suspicion that she still occassionally meets her ex and they do have some fun together hence her dreams. Its almost imposible to dream about someone u last related with 10-15 years ago in a manner that it causes concern. I for one cannot even easily remember the face of my ex of 15 years ago. The two are still together. Period.

  98. elo iwe concerned citizen! i was almost telling you something that will remind you that your advice carries no weight but i just remembered you just wanted attension from me.

    madam back to the issue, FUN DREAMS! after 15 years,Mmmmm no,no consentrate on your husband,let sleeping dogs lie,a bird in your hand is worth two birds in the air.You say ur husband loves you,what is it that u loved/liked alot about that old horour that you have failed to find in you honey pie, please please dont want to hear you gone to a worse extream than this, keep ur self busy with ur haby’s everything(all of him)

  99. AT 40 A person is mature especially a lady. what example are you going to show to the teens and young adults? don’t you hv close friends, relatives, church mates who can help out instead of blowing it to the whole world?how is current husband going to take it? past is gone 4 get about it. start afresh in your married life. iam in my 40s my beloved haz desserted me and my three children.i was55kg now95kg.my1st born was in grade3, this time he is grade 12. calculate and find ansa.life has continued i dont evn think about him. my mind thinks about prosperity4my children and myself. so stop even comparing yo ex and present husband. be helped in isaiah 42.9. and encouring yourself in de Lord

  100. Lady first clean your mind by completely forgeting about that old relationship and force yourself to love the guy you are with. Its you who is always thinking of the sex you used to have with him thats why he comes on your mind always at night. But ngalisungilepo iyikulu and the one you have kanono ulimbe coz I know ladies like huge ones. In case you need a very very large one get me on [email protected]

  101. Stop being paranoid, get a life and keep out those promiscuous thoughts from your head. You risk losing your current marriage if you go on like this.

  102. aunty !

    what makes you think that man even wants to keep track of you,i cant believe you have no focus at the age of forty. How can u allow ur self to be a wondering momy,”keep track of me and my husbandyyy!”
    awe kwena mwansekesha…. ihihi hoho aha aaaahhh

  105. Fellow bloggers, the woman in the picture is not the woman in the story. I have noticed that most people think its the woman depicted in the story. Its just a picture chosen that themes well with the story.

  106. Newo nili na chikulu ngako!!! Nikamuti ako!!!

    Uka wele tyala pa mandevu pa maketi!!!

    Oni ziba ngako anakazi!!! Owela ku thandizo!!!

    Tuma pa nambala iyi 095 9550109!!! Uka mulotepo lini mwanalume uyo!!!

    Neo sunu silipisha!!! Uka kondwe!!! Nu lindilira!!!

  108. 1 thing about dreams is that u cant control them…….some people will go to bed thinking about their lover but the dream would be totally different. the solution is stop concetrating on that dream when u wake up……….

  109. Your first husband gave you the best sex ever and made you reach organsm.Well, if your second husband does not make you reach the same, i promise you might love to fuxck your first husband to make you enjoy.But why did you leave him anyway, say something.Maybe you are a problem too

  110. Our sister must be living ia a fantasiy island. From my understanding of a dream:Dreams are a rich source of fantasy and can be a way to deal with unfulfilled desires from waking life. Also as dreams are messages from the unconscious mind they can reveal our deep feelings and our true motivations. In particular they can bring to light many repressed sexual desires, our guilty feelings or our unexpressed fears about sex.
    So this sister of ours has never stopped thinking of the ex. no wonder the cousin works with the ex. so as to keep vigil the guy. I mean 10-15 years is too long a period for one to dream the ex. BE OPEN SIS

  111. You probably have a sexual bonding with your ex. Which can be fertile ground for sex demons. These could be tormenting you in the night and they might seek to destroy your marriage.What you need is deliverance.

  112. These women, thats why me I always make sure I give my woman a good one so that when am away its time for her to rest. No time for dreams.

  114. Lady, if this is not pretence, then it is very immoral and you need to go back to alangizi so that you do not continue bringing shame to the women flock. Why did you even post your picture on this site? Pray to God for forgiveness and u should repent.

  117. Here is my take on this: First of all, this was not posted by the woman in the picture. It was by a jilted ex-boyfriend who has decided to hit back by posting this nonsense on the web using the poor ex-girlfriend’s picture. What a shame!

  118. Is she not scared that the husband will find out that she is parading herself on blogs, let alone her past life of fun? Or is LT playing tricks on us? I wonder if a well meaning, self-respecting Zambian woman would go to the extent of allowing their picture posted under such circumstances

  119. My sister i believe i know what you going through.The thing is as some guys before me have mentioned. You still love this guy and now because his near to you in a way you have fear that you will want to fall in love with him again.The other thing making you uncomfortable is that you are feeling jealous of him being close to your cousin.I know you dont want to use jealous in your heart but that is the reality of what is going on inside you.The best thing is accept the reality of what is happening inside you embrace it. But dont go for it.You have a husband who loves you so much dont disappoint him since you love him too.Move on forget the old guy just appreciate the experience you had.

  121. As someone has already stated – that is NOT the picture of the woman in question! Would someone seeking help anonymously honestly post their picture for the world to see? Why not just appear on TV then, let alone face all the affected parties? Why don’t people use their brains?…Before this post even ‘settles’, someone will post something like “You don’t even look 40…” or some other such rubbish. LT uses those pictures to simply enhance presentation. No one having serious problems and seeking urgent help can have the time to start posing for pictures to post on LT. Think people – think!

  122. I commend this lady for bring to the attention of everyone and those who may not be aware. Its one of the key secretes or problems safely guarded by women.In the old days or those who have very traditional grand parents are well enlighted about this issue. This Girl or lady is brave and i personally commend her for leting the cat out the bag. A number of wives suffer in silence and even go to all sorts of activities to keep up or get rid of this problem. I can only advise the lady to grow out of it and prayer may help. Its a pit that anumber of blogers arubishing this girl when she has actually pointed out a key issue to be aware of in your back yards or bedroom!

  124. Ba sister, how many guys have you had before you got married? I am also dreaming of you my dear. I remember sometime back about 16 years ago we used to go out. I cant still forget about you dear.

  126. Juju could be there but just pray baby. you are a real loving woman and when you love you never let go. just forget about him you a gonna pull thru. take care.

  131. Well! Life starts at 40,You have two choices and Life is full of choices.You either choose your ex who seem to have done you good justice in bed or your hubby who seem to only satisfy you from out side.Go for it,enjoy yourself and move on.ONLY ONE LIFE,don’t live in agony

  132. We suspect that you are pretty bored mummie,find something fulfilling to do with the extra time you have ,dreams are a thoughts that come alive in your subconcious when you go to sleep and if we acted on evertyhing we dreamnt about God forbid what a chaotic world we’d be living in.

  138. If women don’t get maximum love, dem always have such dreams, a so it go. Once she gets a hardcore slam, dem dreams a go stop, truss me. It’s just natural, man.

  140. No wonder she is dreaming about her ex look at her dress in the pix ..looks uncomfortable to sleep in? Had it been some comfy nighties she was going to be dreaming of Oga but like that I de beg police to arrest her sha

  150. You not only dream of him but also desire to leave your husband for your EX. Those dreams come from what you heart desires and you know that. But to be frank with you, that is Immoral to say the least. Choose to stop thinking about him. Unles your current husband is mistreating you.

  151. #150 Tapali na mistreating apa bwambafye bwaka EX afuleka mayo uyu.10 years you are yearning for the guy, limbi awafikapofye. Chifwile chalitemwa sex chi mayo ichi.

  153. You need to grow-up! What Juju? The problem is yourself failing to accept what you have and move on. Get it into that thick skull of yours, you have a family and someone’s wife, focus your attention on you marriage and not on foolish, selfish and immature matters like your time with your ex.

  154. You Think to much about this guy and please concentrate on your marriage otherwise you may find yourself in this guys hands again.

  156. This lady can’t accept the past to be where it belongs. this is the result of testing amabwamba before geting married. Tell your husband about the way he should be doing it. No one can solve your problem apart from the two of you. Talk about it with your husband how you want sex to be handled. Ask God’s guidance that’s pray mama. People will write wrong/gud advice about your problem which will evn complicate the problem that you have currently. The best solution is to sit down with your husband in your bedroom and talk about the issue. Don’t feel jealous about your cousin but move on. It’s her time to be with that man. Focus on you man right now who loves you so much. Every1 has got past.

  157. Ubwamba bwaba ex bukali sana that’s why na mirriam (#136) asuminisha becoz she was also screwed up by someone with penis big a guess or someone who knows how to do it. Mwandi wasovelako abengi the same problem. I am a man by the way>>>>>>>

  158. Yep I aint proud to say that I share similar views. At least am no punk to lie about it coz am telling as it is. Some bloggers and I mean both sexes share the same views but just have no balls to admit like u will get in trouble.

    Well! I got it off my chest!!

  163. hey now, lady please, plead the blood of Jesus now, rebuke those dreams and quit thinking about yo ex…. #18 i totally agree wit you
    Lady the devil is a lier, plz resist that temptation in Jesus name

  164. I guess that is why FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION comes in or rather OPINIONS. I respect everyone’s views and please respect mine too.

  167. pliz dont post any nonsense for the sake of you being bored.contribute constructive msgs like your mother or father you used to.its irritating to be zedian sometimes coz of some guys.

  168. Come on women,learn 2 open up 2 ur man and show him how u want him 2 make love 2 u.If u dn't show or guide him,he won't ever do it right and that will always triger memories of past lover/s who did it right.Well expressed no.113.A man who fails 2 satisfy Come on women,learn 2 open up 2 ur man and show him how u want him 2 make love 2 u.If u dn't show or guide him,he won't ever do it right and that will always triger memories of past lover/s who did it right.Well expressed no.113.A man who fails 2 satisfy

    The1

  170. Its normal my sister,THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST those are the effects, like Bob Mabege sang.With time the memories will diminish.Put those memories in the darkest corner of yo mind,gradually he will b erased, concentrate on the current one.Enjoy his goodness dont compare him with yo ex.

  171. I think you havev a problem with decision making.
    Your decision to go for another guy was not a well thought decision; you made it out of frustration.
    Never make a decision saying to yourself, “Anyway what can I do since it cant work. Let me just find an alternative.”
    There is no such a thing as alternative in love and married. You simply get the right person or not.
    I can tell you that even now you still think that the man you are married to was an alternative; that is your problem.
    You dont know that, that is the man God has given you for your life on earth.
    And why are you not open enough? You dont just dream about this man in sleep, no. Even when you are awake you think about him.

  172. #171 contd..,
    …Even when you are awake you think about him.
    That is why you keep following his life and making conclusions about what is around him.
    Your cousin works with this guy, and befriending your cousin can come as natural friendship as they work together. But why conclude that he is tracking by befriending your cousin?
    When you admit that you have a problem understanding that this guy was not meant for you, then you can be helped. This guy was not meant for you, because if he had beed meant for you he would have accepted you and all that belonged to you; that includes your child.
    This is how you know that someone has accpeted you, if they are ready to take you the way you are.

  173. # 172 continued..,
    From your story I know that you were open enough to tell this guy that you had a child so that he could make a decision.
    His love was selfish and not real love because he did not look at what would make you happy but looked only at what would make him happy. That is not love, because love is kind.
    He loved you because you looked beautiful to him, and so that was going to give him joy and make him happy. But what your heart desired was not his priority.
    Your child is very close to your heart, just like any mother would confirm, but this guys did not bother about that issue of your heart and whatever shape your heart found itself in as long as himself was happy.

  174. # 173 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    Let me tell you something;
    Us as human beings when we desire something and it does not come our way we feel bad, and sometimes the bad feeling may be so deep that we get obstracted in understanding why things did not work out.
    I would like you to fully undestand that your ex was never meant for you because he did not love you.
    He was not mature, because maturity increases as selfiness deminishes.Just like all of us when we were growing up; as a child you were not very willing to share you sweets, and wanted more than your friends. But as we began to grow, generosity and kindness started to increase.

  175. # 174 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    I suggest the following steps for you to take in order to address your situation.
    1) Understand that no one can address this apart from yourself. you have to fully resolve to renew your mind over this selfish guy. I hope you know that the guy is selfish. Giving does not neccessarily mean generosity or kindness because someone can give because they want to buy you off for their selfish gain. Kindness and generosity means desiring the happiness of the other person.
    2) Thank God everyday, morning and evening for preserving your life from this selfishman and giving you the husband you deserve; one meant for you.

  176. # 175 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    3) Make it a point that you appreciate your husband everyday. He has accepted you the way all of us as men are suppose to accept a lady if we are genuine men. Genuine men are not found in every corner; they are rare (just like genuine women). It will very sad if you do not appreciate this deserving husband when there are many women who yearn to be in your position. Do not appreciate good things only when they are absent, my sister you are blessed.
    4) Tell this man that you love him everyday. This will help you to renew your commitment to him and make your love grow, and become fresh everyday. It will also make you mind to think of your husband more.

  177. # 176 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    5)Don’t entertain thoughts of the selfish guy. Each time such thoughts come, pick up a phone and call your husband and tell him how much you love him, of cause he will reciprocate and tell you the same, that he loves you too. this way you will fill your mind with love for each other and cut off intruding thoughts from you mind.If you are not in position to talk to your husband, and say you are at home, pick up your wedding vedio and watch it. Think about how he embrassed you and held you for who you are while the other man rejected you for what he thought would inconvinience him – your child. You husband has embrassed both you and your child, with true love

  178. # 177 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    If you dont have a video tape for your wedding you can use photos if you have. Find something that will build you love.
    6)Stop thinking about why this guy is making friendship with your cousin. At the moment you have nothing to do with this guy and whatever his does with anyone is his own business and why should it affect you. Your cousin is not you. S/he is her own person different from you and who s/he befriends is not you matter, leave them.
    7) When I call him selfish man, how do you feel? I hope you dont defend him in your heart because of a few things he gave or did for you. I have already told you that that favour can be beit for one’s destruction.

  179. # 177 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    7)continued..
    So forget about what he did because he did it because you were in a relationship. Now that you are out of that relationship, stop thinking about how it was, instead think about your marriage and how you can make it even better.
    8) When that guy finds marries someone, who maybe you might think is even more beautiful than you, how will you feel. if you will feel any slight bad within you, then you know that you still have held on to that selfish guy. Let nothing he does or is done to him ever bother you. Run your own life as he does his. Just like his failure, his success is not your problem.

  180. # 179 continued..,
    “Way Forward”
    9) You need to honour your husband not only by being good and loving to him in you actions, because doing so will mostly have positive impact on him only. But do much more so in your heart. Honour this man in your heart and in your thoughts because this will have a great positive impact on you where the problem is. I must repeat the problem is not with your ‘ex’, the problem is with you.
    10) make sure you organise in pages what I have written here and print it and have a copy to read thru again and again. This will help you because what I have written here is important; if it was not I would not have spent all this time.
    11) Pray and trust God.

  182. Ba Fine!Namulondolola bwino sana.I hope ba mayo baumfwa!I broke up with my gilrfriend:she left me for another guy.Shortly after getting married she wanted to come back to me.I didnt entertain that.Even when she would call me I never called her back.I hav moved on and i am very happy with my new love.I think she has moved on now because she does not call.I hope she is not in your situation too.You should be gratefull you have a man who loves you.Like some have suggested pray before you sleep.Pray for a peacful sleep and the peace of God which surpasses human understanding will overwhelm you.Every one who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.Ask God to save you from these bad dream

  183. People this lady needs help,this guy had done some juju on her when they were married,so this fool comes in the night to have sex its common in zed especially kuminzi,so go talk to people back home(VILLAGE),THEY WILL SORT IT OUT FOR YOU

  184. am her ex,i used to give good ones and i knew she would never forget my sytles.she is not the only one who dreams about me.i know how and where to place it.a bull always abull.thanks for say it finally my ex.i can still giv u some more just come you where……

  185. Wake up the man u love does not love you at all, if he loves u he would have accpeted daughter and your relatives. Can u steak to your husband and move on with your life before your ex uses u and dump u to regreat. he had his chance and he blow it.

  186. Why bring such personal issue on this blog? Probab;y by the time you can the best advice you would have received millions of insults and frastrated.
    Talk to you pastor at you church on some marrige counceller.
    You definatly need help.

  188. Come on women,learn 2 open up 2 ur man and show him how u want him 2 make love 2 u.If u dn’t show or guide him,he won’t ever do it right and that will always triger memories of past lover/s who did it right.A man who fails 2 satisfy his woman should consider himslf to be a failure….

  189. When we think about something too much there is a possibility of dreaming about it. Stop thinking about your ex you have someone who loves you just the way you are…for what more can you ask for, be fair, even if he is tracking, its meaningless, dont be ruled by your emotions.

  190. It is sad but if you research deeper you will find that most women are married just to be “Mrs” someone, u know for prestige, she deffinately does not luv her hubby as much as her Ex. Love is a bond that is hard to break. So sista keep dreaming abt him as long as you dont sleep talk.

  193. you need spiritual deliverance that’s demonic,you don’t dream of other men especially when you are already married. Watch your spiritual life!

  194. My sister you need prayers than anything else. Thats the best cure you can ever get against those evil thougts.10 to 15 yrs ago is alot of time to change but since you seem to moving backwards, turn to GOD SIS.

  196. #13 I agree with you. This lady must go on serious prayers otherwise demons will keep on tormenting her in all ways. Please do give your life to Jesus and pray ernestly. God is more than able. Believe!!! No weapon that is fashioned against you shall prosper..isaiah 54:17

  197. Hmmm # 185 you r messing up chizungu. The whole para is crazy-man! What r u doing in the UK? Muletusebanya mwe. U r the chaps that were that cant help kids with homework nga va shupa use local lingo
    __________________________________________________________________
    Wake up the man u love does not love you at all, if he loves u he would have accpeted daughter and your relatives. Can u steak to your husband and move on with your life before your ex uses u and dump u to regreat. he had his chance and he blow it
    _____________________________________________________________________
    accpeted? steak? dump u to regreat? he blow it?

    accepted. Stick. dump u to regret.he blew it

  202. iyo kwena chachine mulichipuba mayo imwe.ubwamba fye sure bukubike pa rapid for something that happened more than 10 yrs ago?focus your mind on your current husband and appreciate his “pweku”.Forget about your ex my dear…akabwelela kalalya!!!

  203. iwe chi #26, just help the lady not that nosense you are sayn. This has got nothing to do with a tangan lady……. FOOL!!!!!!!!!!
    Dont go off topic, thats y u r not educated……go back to yr toilet n clean it…. Rubbish thing

  205. thats wat u get girlz if u involve yrselves in sexual activities with the so you call boyfriends……..they dont even marry u. c now what u brought unto yrself…..comparing ‘better sex’, if you did not do such you wudnt have had this pro.
    so girlz change……… “sex for married pipo ONLY” well, i’ve promised myself as a girl not to know a man untill on am hanmoon day……. no man knowz me and i’m 20 yrs; isnt it gud.

  206. Lady do not listen to ctitics who know nothing about dreams and judge you unfairly. There is an answer to this problem in christ Jesus. It is a very simple problem, i repeat a very simple problem that you can be delivered from without paying anything. All you need is faith in God. Please give me details about yourself. Are you a Born Again Christian? If not we will start from there. But know that nothing is impossible with God. I repeat, your prblem is small. Please write to Apostle Mumba Box 250149, Ndola.

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