
By Mwansa Besa
“This is the second time she has done it. The first time she hit me with a bottle. I just want a divorce because next time it might be worse”. These were the exact words which Mr. Mathews Tembo of Lusaka used when a Muvi television crew interviewed him.
Mr. Tembo`s case is yet another addition to the increasing statistics in the number of reported cases of battered husbands.
It is not anybody’s secret that reported cases of battered husbands have been on an increase in Zambia. This leaves one wondering whether the increase could be blamed on the desire by women to be equal to men (Gender equality) or it is a trend that has always been a part of our society, but has largely gone ignored for centuries.
The answer could be any of the above two, both or something else. To me the latter seems to hit home.
From time immemorial a man has always been considered to be the stronger of the two sexes when it comes to both mental and physical abilities. It is against this background that husbands that have had found themselves victims of battering at the hands of their wives have always suffered a lot of humiliation.
Husband battering has always being an endemic part of our society but has unfortunately gone unnoticed in our male oriented society. Mostly it is the victims themselves to blame. Most of them are too ashamed to admit that they victims because of fear of harsh judgment from society.
I remember some years back being a witness to an incidence where one man was laughed at by his friends after word went around that he was battered by his wife. His response was “guy’s naimwe nalifye dizzy no wonder ka madam kanchankwilile. Pantu nganalikanaya ine”. For those not familiar with this copperbelt street lingua, the guy blamed being drunk as a reason why his wife managed to beat him up.
I am sure all men that have ever been victims of this form of abusive can give varied reasons as to why they found themselves in such situations.
It is sad noting that husbands are no longer safe from the people that are supposed to love, protect and cherish them.
I am happy that the media has now started playing an active role in making sure that this issue is brought to the attention of the people.
Spousal battering must be blamed at all costs without any fear or favour and without looking at the sex involved. Probably it is high time men formed organizations with the intention of curbing this vice. Ok, now that we`re talking about male organizations. What about some organization called men for change as opposed to women for change or anti husband battering association of Zambia? Well, I bet this makes some good food for thought.