Tuesday, April 23, 2024

More men battered by spouses – Kayeba

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The Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) Community Worker Davies Kayeba says there is an increased number of men who are victims of Gender Based Violence (GBV) in Zambia.

Mr. Kayeba said the center has so far recorded 46 cases this year adding that this is not the true picture as most GBV cases concerning men go un-reported due to self stigma.

He urged men in the country to start reporting GBV cases as keeping silent does not help them as it may lead to their untimely death especially if the violence continues.

He said this in an interview with ZANIS in Lusaka today.

The Community Worker advised the GBV victims to face reality as the vice does not only affect women but men as well.

He said men need to communicate their GBV experiences to the relevant authorities in order to be helped.

He said some of the factors that contribute to male GBV are bad personal behavior towards a spouse, poverty, cultural aspects and a lack of Knowledge.

Mr. Kayeba called for increased sensitization should be done to provide information to people on the negative impact of GBV saying such behavior sometimes leaves one spouse disfigured for life.

He expressed hope that in the near future the organization will build a shelter for men who suffer extreme GBV like there sister organization Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA) does for women and children in extreme GBV situations.

He has since urged men to come out in the open and report GBV cases to YMCA, YWCA, and the victim support Unit instead of remaining silent.

He added that with much sensitization and adequate information disseminated to the masses there is likely to be a decrease in GBV cases.

ZANIS

39 COMMENTS

  1. # 1 thats true. And this is exactly what i was talking about, on that topic about the celebrity couple bla bla bla. GBV shouldnt just be GBV when a woman is a victim. Us men have been called dogs for every little thing we have done, now let me take this opportunity to call all those women who beat up their spouses DOGS, and ya’ll know what a female dog is.

  2. The truth is the acceptance of abuse in Zambia is alarming and women suffer greatly because of this and one song by an abused singer whose husband is a public figure will not cut it.

    The state of the country’s economy also contributes to women staying in abusive homes/relationships

    Albeit if you are a man and your woman is beating you up? I have nothing to say to that.

  3. I never really thought there were cases of GBV against men in Zambia until I heard stories of some gentle and quiet men who have never fought anyone all their lives! When these men get married, their wives tell me what to do and actually beat them up!

  4. #5
    I recently heard of a man whose p.e.n.i.s got burnt by the wife on suspicion of cheating! And sometimes its not coz these men nivipuba or chakolwa. There are just like you: A decent guy that can’t lay a finger on a woman…, and in the process, the crazy B**ch takes advantage!

  5. Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other — it doesn’t matter who it is — and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.

    A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.”

  6. It is the harmony, peace and mutual love between men and women that brings happiness and peace to the family. People want happiness in the family, but they do not lead exemplary lives. The fault lies with both the husband and the wife.

  7. The Ghost, the dog you sound responsible. Don’t fight women, just deny them the treasures they wait for night long atleast for one week. If they don’t repeat, deny them for one month, if they continue, make it one year. During this time monitor them religiously, but yourself can do according to the AFRICAN culture!

  8. Double standards and hypocrisy among women. They beat men and want to get away with it and yet when they are touched all you hear is deafening screams. These men taking the beatings are just spineless no game having excuses for men just like tiger woods . If you kept to tradition and showed the woman who was boss none of this would have been happening. No woman should ever be beaten but the minute a woman assumes a man’s role and turns to fisticuff’s it’s your job to remind her of her position. If you dish it out you better not complain when it’s paid back in kind

  9. Being a Christian my resolve is do not be violent towards your spouce, but ladies do not be quick to assume you want to wear the pants and thus I shall roll over. Trust me on this one I still keep my p.i.m.p hand strong. My position is don’t lay your hands on a woman ever so a lady should keep her hands to herself. Shalaz you are right Tiger made of like a punk.

  10. Yaba..kabili efyo chabe fi. You are treatening us who not maried. Kuti waupa uwakukupuma every day. Ladies please twapapata mwilauma abalume. Bushe nomba who is going to marry you coz men will start running away from you. Nkani yalula bane.

  11. I think men who allow themselves to be battered by their wives suffer from a very serious identity crisis and are scared to expose this weakness. In their desperation to hide their weakness, they become powerless and their wives automatically takes over their masculine role. If you find yourself constantly trying to impress, the relationship is always unhealthy. The more you feel comfortable and less anxious about exposing the real you, the healthier it is. This is because the real you is fine. You are in the right relationship when you are happy and content to be yourself again and those around you are happy to see it too. Do you get the logic?

  12. I reckon i can confidently say that most GBV against men is due to infidelity on their part….hence the reluctance to report it..!

  13. Men who beat women are NOT well endowed and therefore want to show their manhood in other ways.

    Stop the abuse and get a penile implant!

  14. I agree with #19, usually when a man is beaten by his wife is because he knows that he is on the wrong especially nkani yatu mpopo. otherwise under normal circumstances sanga ku ponone madam unless you just have a big problem with yourself or you picked your wife from cock pit or chez chez.

  15. #17 Prophetess
    I’ve just read a lot of books on relationships & have dealt a lot with people…practical psychology if you like.

  16. i dont thin nowadays there women who think in those lines , 99 percent of women this time are career oriented and doing such would be a share waste of time.

  17. This is what i was talking about the other day, GBV will always be there. it doesnt mean i support it but the fact is if your loved one wrongs you but you cant leave them one way of releasing your hurt and anger is uku ponona. I read many people saying that there is no excuse to beat your wife but either they arent married or they are plain fake! I dont beat my wife but i can say i have come a hairs inch away from a tyson knuckle landing on her nose!

  18. ghost dog how are you my friend….u know wat,I think “ghostdog” blogs more responsibly than “digitalsmoke”…..I like the dog more than the smoke in you!

  19. am happy what i commented on`celebrity couple abuse’has come to pass. Men are also victims of GBV but are ashmed to come out. ICHALO CHILI KUMPELA BANE ABALUME NABO BALEPUMWA. SAY NO TO MEN,WOMEN,CHILDREN AND DEPENDANTS ABUSE AND VIOLENCE.Some women are female kaponyas in homes and mike tysons inside their hearts and soul but beyonce knowles outside!!!(Beast and beauty combination)

  20. It may be true that infedility contributes to men being beaten by their wives but I know a friend who very good in that area and still gets clobbered by the wife for any little reason she may have. She is physically stronger than him so takes advantage of him. If he decided to use even a penny from his income without her concent she clobbers him. Unfortunately my friend is too ashemed to admit that he is being clobbered by the wife. So this problem is real and men in such situations should just come out and face reality to avoid being disfigured like some celebrity we know.

  21. Those are realy weak soldiers. Being beaten by wife? What if they got married to ka Easther Phiri. Its a shame. Please keep on hammering them till they run away from their matrimonial houses leaving all their property.

  22. # 32 What strategy?? Think of a terrible man that beats his wife (i really think we ought to beat little children OUT OF LOVE FOR CORRECTION)…Do you think this man will allow her to be going out for Kitchen Parties in ZAMBIA? I don think so…thus the same way, if your wife sorts you out, i should think its difficult to get even one pin for chibuku (am sure it must be way expensive than one pin-but am sure you read my reasoning…)…MANY MEN SUFFER QUIETLY…

  23. #29 Nyika girl
    Some men have been victims from time immemorial, they are beaten by their wives. Abused men also are many. Some men who come from good families and are good they dont beat up their wives – these wives take advantage and are real animals. Their men cannot even greet women not even at family function they cause havoc. Believe me women like this do exist. They can throw anything at the man and could kill you know so the men in these relationship they dont enjoy their marriages and are afraid of their women. I am sure some of you have observed men who cannot respond when you greet them as they are with their wives…… Observe…

  24. I think most men are abused not physically and suffer “peacefully” because they do not want to batter their nagging or abusive wives.

  25. i think i will remain single because tina yipaya umwana wabene. I will just keep looking for “Miss right now” only. Ichifukushi too much and females can be very irritating sometimes

  26. Its surplising that men are being beating by women. Men be careful woo chalo chachinja. women resolve to beat their husband if they come drunk every day.

  27. Very embarrassing. These must be drunkards or womanisers. What kind of homes do these chaps run. Can we please have decent homes, for the sake of children.

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