Friday, March 29, 2024

Going to Zambia empty handed

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Dear Womba,

Big sis how are you? Hope your trip to Zambia was nice. I’m really dreading the day I go visit again. Going to Zambia has become a complicated affair!

Last time I went, I bought few chocolates and toys for our brothers kids and clothes for mum and dad. After all I’m only entitled to 20kg on the plane.

A few days after I arrived Dad took me to visit our uncle Robert. I thought they would be happy to see me( being their favourite niece and all ) but instead I got lectured about how stingy it is not to buy presents for your relatives. His wife, who had enthusiastically come to greet me quickly excused herself when she realised I hadn’t bought them clothes. I had R250 in my purse which I gave to uncle out of guilt. That was like adding fuel to a fire. It was only worth something like K160 000 which isn’t worth much!( I didn’t realise the kwacha has little buying power- my bad!)

Thankfully dad sensed the tension and we left. Then our brother Clinton came with his wife and 4 kids to see me.I proudly produced the chocolates and toys I had brought. His wife asked why I had bothered buying the same chocolates they have in Shoprite! Clinton also asked he could have my Motorola cellphone. If I was a white person they would have noticed how flushed my face was becoming. Later that evening when mum suggested we go visit our grandparents I broke down. I obviously hadn’t bought gifts for them.

I had traveled to Zambia because I missed being home and missed the family. Instead from the moment I had arrived everyone was looking at me expectantly to see what gifts I had bought.The relatives hardly asked how I was. These are people I missed dearly and couldn’t wait to talk and laugh with again. How am I supposed to clothe the entire clan just because I live abroad? Sissy I felt like I don’t belong there anymore and I also don’t belong abroad ,so where do I belong?

Forgive my emotional outburst but that was my experience. On a lighter note I told my Nigerian friend about it and she said ” Sista, you have to go with 62kg luggage when you go back home. No relative cares about you going to see them, there are enough eyes seeing them back home.They care what you bring!
bye for now

Linda

32 COMMENTS

  1. Ba LT naimwe!, why are you repeating this story….we have already seen it here…

    Back to the story, next time you go, put a disclaimer, tell all your relatives that you will not be bringing them anything….so they will be less expectant of goodies from abroad.

  2. Take them bibles and watch if they will complain. If they ask for things walk around their house and ask for things as well. LSKtimes this story has been done before , if you are lacking in news stories provide a way in which bloggers can contribute articles and you will have plenty of articles to choose from instead of picking from the recycle bin. An entertainment and investigative journalist section would be good

  3. Linda better count herself lucky she didn’t go empty handed on a one way flight with only 2kg of luggage and a deportation stamp

  4. What if they fly you back to Zambia in a coffin ? Will the relatives care more about what is brought for them (clothes etc) or your dead body? This is pathetic.

  5. Give them everything you have including the clothes you have on you remain with a kabudula so they feel the shame because they forget you also have a life and most are students anyways.
    The other alternative is when you have a bit of money buy them something to drink eg those in the village Chibuku or katubi, in town mosi, castle or the usaul fake vodkas and spirits. Alcohol tends to solve all at least that should buy you time LOL

  6. Thanks L.T, seen this topic before…. sometime mid -last year, 2008?? no worries and no comment…

  7. Good job LT. this has been posted at a great time when we students are going home for the summer. (4 more days ninshi ni LSK njikata!!!!!1 wooohooo!!!!) im in exactly the same situation. i dont why people have trouble understanding that living abroad doesnt mean a 5 star lifestyle. at least if i had came to work mwati niskulu shuwa which only allows me to work partime for 10hrs a week? life here is very expensive too. how do u expect me to bring stuff for the whole clan really? im glad i have sorted out the issue of me going empty handed with people who matter most. everybody else can suck it!!!! atase. niyambe buhule to make them happy?

  8. the best thing to do is to forget about those who do not matter in your life .you can imagine they don’t even understand that you are allowed to carry limited luggage.they make me sick

  9. Use Kenya airways, you are allowed 46Kgs holdall and 10Kgs hand luggage. Only carry gifts for people who matter to you, people who have been influential, i.e your parents. You don’t have to take gifts otherwise you bring problems upon urself.

  10. Hi Stripper, Gluco, 3RqU & Thenji
    I also recall having read this anecdote some time last year but let’s not forget that bloggers keep coming and going BUT the story is STILL relevant.
    Let’s just give a chance to those who haven’t read it before to comment, as we learn from their experiences.

  11. #14 nine chale, i totally concur with you but also keep in mind that we have bloggers with multiple identities….

  12. ummm ba # 16.. dont tell me u dont get it. its something we all experience at some point. in fact everytime we pack up to visit the motherland. if u feel it doesnt benefit u in any way, u shud have just looked at the title or the 1st paragraph and said “screw this, im not gonna waste my time”.

  13. what are you pipo bubbling here about? this story has been here before and i remember it very well. nevertheless, if it’s a 100% coincident, the here is my advice:
    just go and live home with them, they would bug you like this or just start sending them gifts before you visit them or DON’T buy anyone no gifts, not even your lovely parents but again they will still think you did buy for your parents, so just live with it and don’t try to impress everyone, just to what you can do as K’millian puts it “awe chitatye ifyo ungachita”

  14. THIS IS AN OLD STORY, BA LT ARE YOU CURRENTLY OUT OF NEWS? THIS IS BORING TO BE READING THE SAME OLD STORIES, THIS BLOG IS BECOMING LIKE AN HISTORY CHANNEL.

  15. Old story you all say? Well, I haven’t seen it. Pa Z people are the same huh! Same thing happens everytime I go back on semester breaks. Relatives pile my house in anticipation but when they see my kids flashing the latest ipods and dvd camera’s and nothing for them just a good meal and transport back to Kapiri the give up on the fact that I cannot bring ubulaya back into their lives just because am in OZ. Teach people how to treat and respect you from the word go. Not everyone can have a present and the mere fact that you’ve been back to see them is a present enough. I know people who’ve never been home for years or if they have, in cargo!

  16. I havent seen this before so its new for me… so i thik what Linda you should do next time just as someone earlier mentioned take them bibles and tell tehm thats the greatest gift you can give them. Because the bible will give the person eternal life with Jesus Christ. When you are going home its because you have missed being there you are not there for the people. Dont visit everyone visit some who are most important and your friend who dont expect much. When i go home i carry chocolates and give to people and there happy that atleast i brought them stuff of course some complain that i should have brought better things. I tell them the limit of laguage and they say its the same old story. Then i forget i tell them next time hard luck.Whats important as long as you are happy,& parents.

  17. Awe mayo kubeba abene bakalwishe ukuya kumbi…so that they buy what ever they expected from u!!!!!!….niziba zako manje!!!!!!

  18. This is not the first time LT is posting this story, pls come up with news stories we already commented on this one….

  19. This story may be an old story, but am reading for the first time. Well we all know that we believe in extended families, we are mostly have nots back home. I make trips home quite frequently. Yes they expect you to get them something, but surely you cant manage. There are tips to this, before going home, lets say 3-4 months start buying small things for people you can remember, if you have a cash card put some money there to use when you go home so that you dont have huge spending on credit card. Visit shops for sale things, and try and and book a flight where you could be allowed to get 23kg x2 pieces, your hand luggage and your hand bag, am sure a lot can be packed in there. Dont carry so much for yourself. if not able to givemuch buy them gloceries for the whole family. Bakatasha.!

  20. of course this story is not new here, but no harm. my opinion is that it seems that most of the guys out there come from poverty stricken families. i am saying this for the second time. my brother and family live abroad. when they visit the family, we are more than happy to have them around. infact when we expect them, we plan ahead for a big family luncheon, if it means going to braii at some good outskates in Lusaka like Adventure City, we do that at our own expense. we spend heavily for this get together. So ndapapa sana some of your families. Ni back ground mwati ninshi? When the children visit us, we even by them stuff from Zed, whether a chinese, local or South African product, we do that and they appreciate. so proud to have him, our one and only brother and his family.

  21. Tell you what i face the same thing too,caming home every body wants money from me just becoz i work abroad,its really bad and i cant afford to give evry body.pipo should understant that i also got umbitions in life!just buying a plasma screen or puting full tank in my veh they observe that you have a lot of money ha give me a break! so linda you are not alone that make 2 of us

  22. i feel sorry for all you guys that fail to visit home for fear of your parasite relatives. it must really be hard for you pipo to stay away for that reason. Really there is no one advise that can be given to you, because maybe fya mumulopa. judging by the way some of you are writing – looks like what you have fyakumwena kubukulu. A have a friend of mine, childhood who grew up ku subarb in Mufulira – slept on the floor in the kitchen, studed using a candle and doing very well now. Has embrased the family – helping to educate those that are willing and indeed the family is rising from the doldrums. Lesa apela bakafwa. cud be that you just dont have, thats the reason for the crying about. infact give your family the correct picture, what is on the ground. Pantu abengi mulabepa sana.

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