T.D. Jakes (a well-known preacher) was returning to Texas after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived, there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Dallas . As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. “You know” he said, “I am almost 50 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?”
The driver said, “No problem. Have it.”
T.D. gets into the driver ‘ s seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young trooper walked up to the driver ‘ s door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, “I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person.” “The supervisor asked, “Is it the governor?” The young trooper
said, “No, he’s more important than that.”
The supervisor said,”Oh, so it’s the president.” The young trooper said,”No, he’s even more important than that.”
The supervisor finally asked, “Well then, who is it?”
The young trooper said, I think it’s Jesus because he’s got T. D.Jakes for a chauffeur!!! !!
Well, no comment.
the one in my mailbox has the Pope as the driver. never did like T.D. Jakes.
mornin mrs. stevens.
The original joke involves the Pope and God as the chauffee
original joke was the pope and his chauffer. dont think the cop wud have known wat God looks like. Mornin Splaka.
mmmh so that’s the joke….shall we laugh now?
here’s a joke, dude gets married but he’s never made love b4 in his life. so in bed at nite, dude doesnt know wat to do, so he jumps outta bed and calls his dad and asks wat to do. dad, shocked says “Well take her clothes off” Dude rushes back and takes her clothes off then calls his dad again “Ok, her clothes are off, wat do i do now?” Dad, gettin annoyed “well take off your damn clothes also and lie on the bed with her!” The dude does this then calls his dad again “Iam naked and lying next to her. wat do i do now?” Dad is almost speechless with anger then shouts “Put the hardest thing on you were she pees!” and then hangs up. much later in the nite, dad snorin and all, the phone rings. dad picks up the phone, “OK dad, my head is in the toilet, wat do i do now?”
What? is T.o.i.l.e.t a bad word? Its shud be “OK dad, my head is in the T.o.i.l.e.t., wat do i do now?”
Ha ha ha ha very funny. Wasnt it Dan Pule ?
NICE JOKE THIS ONE. IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER TO ME WHETHER ITS THE POP OR REV T.D JAKES. THEY ARE ALL FLESH AND BLOOD. NICE DAY TO YOU ALL
Ba Dudelove #3, morning , thanx and g’day. God Bless you today.
My gravator is busy playing up today….
Religeous dogma………cut the crap,folks!!!!!!!
I think such stuff as jokes should not be posted at all. You could have used the space for something useful to build Zambia. The same goes for those stories about someone looking for help from bloggers, what are they meant for especially that they do not seem to be real?
It has made my day. Take care all.
Ba #14 Dongo na Sungu,
I wish you knew how some people worship this man.. like he was Jesus himself on earth., I particularly know some blogger on ‘Dear Mr President ‘on ZOL who thinks this man so high above God .. maybe, and no wonder LT thought so many bloggers will be jolted with this article.
“Having the form of godliness but denying the power thereof.” “And in that day they will say to me,did we not heal in your name?And in your name we cast out demons?And I will say to them ‘Depart from me you evil doers,I NEVER KNEW YOU!”
Hi guys… splaka…looking hot girlfriend..where u @….. first time reading this so hehehehe…lol…Ola dude love, Mrs stevens and Ba maureen
# 17. Its true just like Juses forewarned us to becareful of false prophets as the end of the wicked system becomes closer.
Hi Miss Daisy. You are on the move.
#19.Yeah being careful of false prophets,you’re right!Actually when His disciples asked Him about the “signs of the end” He 1st mentioned DECEPTION before He mentioned the wars and rumours of war,earthquakes,pestilences,starvation etc
#20..How u mean? No i am not on the move.. am still in Jozi (msanzi fo sho)…….infact, am not waking up today.. how you?
# 22 , OK i saw the frag. Iam good. How is Jozi?. I hear Zuma is in problems with empty promises he made during elections period.
# 21 Actually Juses lead by example by living a simple and humble life not characterised by material things.
#16 Madam Thenji, may be I have a problem. Limolimo ndofwilamo insoni pafyotuposelapo inshita. Ngabacibikapo ifingakuula umuntu mumano at least. Ndebomfye cibemba ukwebati nafisensoni nkwata pantu tebena Zed beka ababelengefi.
lsktimes why do you always seem to favour these dodgy prosperity doctrine teachers like td jakes and joel osteen. Post some sensible things not things that glorifying mere human beings that try to take the glory from the only interceder and profit from gullible people.
I think our problems pa zed go beyond our politicians.We are all culprits!
,,Bapungwa…..ok.. the frag change is just the moderm….. not using the work one… well zuma, still favoured by the 80 % of the citizens think hes stll cool… the few making noises are those that have never supoorted him
hey daisy xsay, wats cuttin? in case u didnt notice there’s an american flag on u. U sure u’re in jo’burg still? # 26 Slumdog dude, cant agree wih u more on the dodginess of these dudes. its all big business. rite now nuthin is more of a money spinner than preachin the word. this is the same dude (TD Jakes) who changed his mind about comin to zed coz he heard a rumour that there was sum infection goin round. but again, i always say, dont dwell on the characters of these chaps, dwell on the word they preach and apply it in your life. no one’s perfect. i’m catholic but i acknowledge that we have problems with our priests. that doesnt mean i’ll shun wat they preach. i will listen because i represent me. they will answer for their sins all on their lonesome.
daisy….u’re wicked… 🙂
#18, Missy Daisy gday , or should I say Ola? Oh no no.. I hated those mfwetus didnt want to learn their language…, worked in Rosebank for almost 3 years, oohhh what wasted years. Good on you, Doona day today(staying in bed the Aussie way)After 23 00 over here and time for bed..
#25, Ba Dongo na Sungu, I understand your struggling Bemba. I concur with you but what can we say? its not our site…
bloggers.. later…
Miss Daisy, Thanks for the information.
having a time of my life listening to radio phoenix online… Hhehe..mrs Stevens..ola.. kunjani sisi.. i also dont like it but being a marketer.. am forced to learn one or two things coz we do research on consumer insight aswell… ..Dudelove, i have checked out the flag…eish… only says something about alot of flags on here… dont mean nothing
#32…(*_~)..wink…anytime
Hi y’all. “but again, i always say, dont dwell on the characters of these chaps, dwell on the word they preach and apply it in your life. no one’s perfect”, #29 Dude love I tottaly agree with you. Something terrible happened to my family and our pastor was to blame. I was mad young at the time and I never ever wanted to go to church because I felt betrayed. Now am grown and I have moved past all the hurt. Am pentecostal but I worship any where because I feel its all about me rather than the preacher.
hey, does anyone know where that flag on my name’s from? Coz am totally in Zed.
#33, all the same happy Doona day…
Dudelove…….u in ghana or Lithuania..lol….whats for sunday….
#36 your flag is for somali
i kno lots of lumpens blogging from the ruins of unza wit usa flags and often come here telling u “here in the states blah blah blah”,don’t believe them!Along came internet technology,lol!
As far as I know and to the best of my limited knowledge, this guy is most welcome in Adelaide, South Australia, the Church City….
By this guy …in #41, meant T.D. Jakes…
#39 Dob dude, u’ve totally hurt my feelings. I denounced my Somalian citizenship years ago! Daisy xsay, Sunday for me is TV day. i dont need to ask u wat u doin Sunday coz i can picture u propped up in bed in some thick sweater, under a duvet, ka laptop on your laps with a steaming mug of somethin on the side. U can deny all u want, i know am rite. oh and DOB dude # 40 LOL!!
T.D Jakes is very inspirational and realistic. Makes you wanna jump up and do something significant with your life. He says the hardest thing is to give a eulogy on a person who has not done anything in life! Think about that.
Miss Daisy I like your contributions…….. Tek care.
OK, so what’s the moral of the story? I think I’ve heard better jokes than this.
#40-i like that one lol.ati am in arizona kanshi ali ku ma ruins -kwacha fimofimo
As a DFW resident, i have been to this crowns church. He is a typical pulpit hypocrite who’s interest is only money. every preaching is about money and offering. this chap has a big mansion, if not several, all i the name of God.
Miss Daisy, how come your picture looks different from the original one?? I suspect you are an imposter!!!
What a nice one!A nice start to a working week!