Evelyn Hone College
Evelyn Hone College

FORGET the conventional use of condoms because students at some higher learning institutions have discovered a novel way of using them. Reach out for one, turn it inside out, run it on a laptop screen and voila, it’s clean.

At Evelyn Hone College, the practice of using condoms is also common because apparently the lubricant found inside the condom is perfect for cleaning the monitor of the laptop.

According to some students interviewed, the condoms are easily accessed at the school clinic dispensers and anyone can walk there and get as many as they want.

To clean the screen, one of the students, who identified himself as Joshua Mutale, said the condoms are turned inside out before use.

“I do not know what is in the lubricant, but once you spread it across on the screen, then use a dry cloth or toilet tissue for a finishing touch, you will be shocked at how clean and shiny the laptop will be afterwards,” Joshua said.

He said the practice is common at the learning institution and that most students are not strangers to the trend.

As far as he is concerned, he has not noticed any visible side effects on his laptop since he has been using condoms as a cleaner.

“I do not know where that idea came from or who discovered it, but I can assure you that it does work. I only need four to five condoms and my laptop is looking brand new again because it really shines,” said Joshua.

Another student Lubuto Ngosa, said some students said they only get condoms for their laptops, but are embarrassed to go to the school clinic because condoms are associated with sex. They ask from their friends.

And Chambwa Mpundu said condoms are always associated with sex so, they are only used when they are in school because their parents and guardians may not believe that condoms can clean laptop screens.

“We just use these condoms in schools because if they were found in our possession when we close schools, some of our parents would think we are engaging in pre-marital sex when they are ever preaching abstinence,” he said.

Meanwhile, an information and communications technology specialist Clement Sinyangwe confirmed that there is a component contained in the lubricant found in condoms which is also found in recommended cleaning materials for laptop screens.

Mr Sinyangwe was, however, quick to add that it was not wise to use condoms because it might have some negative effects on the laptop screens.

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22 COMMENTS

  1. And of course these are used condoms we are talking about because as we know with a country been run by a used condom by name of lungu, many people cannot afford to waste a new condom on cleaning computer. This is life under pf. I know of a man using shop rite carrier bag as condom because he cannot simply afford condom under pf. Vet sad

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    • This is taking anti-virus to the next level kikiki ama academics. They were told to ensure they have anti virus on the computers before using them, so now the academics decided to protect computer from antivirus by cleaning the system (virus scanning)by wiping with condoms

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  2. And who was the first person to have discovered the trend. Not sure if this should even be news. Maybe because it’s Sunday.

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  3. Be wary of longterm damage to the screen. Cleaners usually have some alcohol base in them. What is in a condom lubricant? Have you seen what has become of some of the maize that was sprayed with Boom detergent to kill army worms and borers? All in the name of rapid response or quick fix!

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  4. ….what is the difference between those Luapula chaps using mosquito nets for fishing..and the hone students..??…not only do they use CDs for their laptop screens but also for their smart phone screens…clinics in Luapula are congested with malaria patients while nets are used for fishing so are hone students getting pregnant, infecting themselves with STIs while using CDs for cleaning screens..
    …..the other problem is that after cleaning screens CDs are never discarded…they shove them back into the packets and later used for intended purpose…but because of no lubricant end up bursting during the act…disaster

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    • Give the students a break! There is no need for them to keep the used condoms when they have already stated that there is no shortage at their clinic where they get as many as they wish for.

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    • @BYM…
      …I can’t believe that there are chaps like you who would support the nonsense….those CDs don’t just drop from the sky like dry leaves…its not sand in the desert …..so you will only be concerned when finally CDs are scarce….I hope you do not represent so many Zambians….
      …grow up man!!!

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    • BYM those condoms have to be paid for. They just dont magically appear in the dispensers just like the votes that would take HH to state house.

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  5. What the heck is this lazy chat doing on a forum intended for bread and butter issues? I suspected it would come to this when first we started discussing who cooks for who on campuses of fully grown adults of full mental capacity! I wouldn’t care less even if it was the screen that cleans the condom, or is somebody using figurative language here where condom and the screed are not meant to be interpreted in their everyday sense. Someone tell me, please. Nasoba neo. Let’s get back to worrying about, say, the closure of the ‘never opened’ Mulungushi textiles. Those are matters that will drive Zambia toward a family of developed nations, not buuchende bwa bana basu.

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  6. It just had to be my brothers from Kasama.

    1. Joshua Mutale
    2. Lubuto Ngosa
    3. Chambwa Mpundu

    And guess who confirmed that this works? Clement Sinyangwe. Hahahahaha.

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  7. So it’s not Evelyn Hone students… Say Joshua Mutale, Lubuto Ngosa, Chambwa Mpundu and Clement Sinyangwe studying at Evelyn Hone College have discovered that using the lubricant inside a new condom can clean the laptop screen. But surely can the big brains, do called academicians sink so low. This wastage for those ehp want them for the purpose. May be a females student got pregnant because she was told condoms were out of stock and went on skin to skin. Can some students mount a “STOP ABUSING CODOMS CAMPAIGN” in that campus….that’s miss application. STOP IT!!!!

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  8. Generally students are expected to know better and use things appropriately. It’s shocking to read such about students.

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  9. Students are actually researching with condoms and learning…….
    is this not what education is about?
    we have a very bright future in Zed!

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  10. This is why Africa doesn’t need aid in any way. Those condoms are donated by organisations like the US.aid and some idi0t who is supposed to be a responsible beneficiary is misusing them in the name of “there’s plenty more at the student’s centre”. Well, that’s tax payers money from the American gov’t. Stup!d idi0ts. You give Africa a bad name yourselves. No aid should ever come to Africa in whatever form. It’s time we became responsible. We don’t deserve any help because of our bad attitudes toward EVERYTHING.

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  11. I am writing from Switzerland.
    The article is very interesting and maybe even funny, if it does not at the same time reveal a great tragedy: The stigmatizing of using condoms. students are told off, by parents if practicing sex before…
    Here in Switzerland the opposite is fact:if young people, and of course all people in situations where CDs are required, do NOT use CDs , they are stigmatized. some 30 years ago great campaigns coming from America, hammered the use of CDs in our heads, because HIV/AIDS became a theme about life and death.No catholic Missionaries , and people of that sort, could hinder schools and authorities of propagate the urgent use of CDs and not even churches , let alone us as (catholic) parents, have been asked about our consent or approval.
    No, the topic was…

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