By LT blogger- Amajokes
A man died and went to Heaven.As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”.St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.”
“Oh”, said the man, “Whose clock is that?”
“That’s Miyanda’s”, replied St. Peter “The hands have never moved, indicating that He never told a lie.”
“Incredible.” said the man “And whose clock is that one?”
St. Peter responded, “That’s Levy’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Levy told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where is Sata’s Clock?” “God is using that as a ceiling fan in his office”
“What about the clocks for the PF MPs?” St Peter, “Oh, we’re using them like a windmill to generate all the electricity up here.
By LT blogger Zacs
I saw an old woman driving while knitting,
“Pull over!” I shouted.
“No” she replied “It’s a scarf”!!
By anonymous LT blogger
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!”
Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very expensive joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”
The wife went; “aahh!” with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out “…and I can’t remember who she was!”
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.
Moral of the story;
DON’T COPY IF YOU CAN’T PASTE
