Dear Friends,
My sister recently divorced her husband because he was HIV positive and she is HIV negative. Do you think this is a right move/decision to make? She has strong points though, she said she knows the wedding vows say “in sickness and in health”, but she strongly believes some sicknesses that are carelessly contracted should be paid for by the causer and not an innocent victim.
Sorry if my sister sounds so cruel, but she has so many children to look after on her own now.
Actually my brother in-law was very promiscuous. He never listened to my sister and all her married life was a misery.She never really enjoyed her married life to him. Even nannies to help with raising up kids were turned into wives in my sisters own house.
Biblically divorce is unacceptable , but did my sister do the right thing? By the way
my sister is a Christian.
Love Muzo (not real name)
Whats the point of sticking with a patner who’s HIV positive, let him die or you will join the Aids club!
Oh yes, we shall start hornking for the anti cabinet salary increaments on Friday 13:00 hours. The Hour has Come.
No! thats not cruel,am sure he would have done the same.Let him stick with the one who gave it to him.anaitaya guy
stay in mariage and use female condoms …or its coz nambuzaza guy thats why yo ned to leave him….Ngapali tumane nganamwikala…shame
well, its a tricky issue. i would say i do not blame her for her action. after all she has family to look after. however, sometimes you could stay together an ensure you have protected sex or better yet no sex but just stay with him to help him out and not abandon him when he is in need. after all to error is human. The realities of HIV hit home when you become infected and need the support of the people closest to you
But do you want your innocent sister 2 die from a diseases she doesn’t even know where it came from. your brother in law is still alive and he will be able to provide material support to his children.she’s got a point dear. let her look after the children,than loosing the two parent’s.
Marriage is a covenant between two people. Part of the covenant is forsaking all others at keeping only to your spouse. If your brother in law has been unfaithful then he is the one who broke the covenant. This makes your sister free to leave him. What do you think?
pipo shud pay for ther mistakes i was in a similar situ and am happy that i moved on with my life cos i cud have been a victim of hsi careless those that kill with the sword die with it its pay time for him and beside the only ground for divorce even in the bible is adutray/fornication
LT congratulation good and educative topic!
Your sissy did not make a good decision for divorced her husband because he was HIV positive bcoz when she was making thos vows in church she didnt make any exception, when one say ‘in sickness and in health’ you just mean that and sickness include HIV AIDS.
Truth is, how long can you have protected sex, which in reality is “unnatural”. I think it was the right decision. I would feel guilty if later my spouse got it because of me knowing the repurcasions very well.
Sorry good story, but in sickness and in health precludes aldultery. Adultery in itself gives grounds for divorce. Why marry when you know you will be unfaithful to your spouse? In sickness and in health refers to other calamities other than those caused by unfaithfulness. Now I agree that the wife would choose to forgive and keep the husband. She would however have to use protection which is very hard sometimes.
You know there is alot of AIDS awareness nowadays. If this man didnt bother to wear a condom wherever he poked his dick and eventually contracted AIDS, that is his misfortune alone. Thank heavens the wife is negative. Biblically she is freed from that unfaithful marriage. The decision is entirely hers. Go sister go, nangu pali tu mane, kabiye! Mwapusukeni!
Does it mean then that when one is found positive then he /she loses the responsbility of looking after the family? The language of the lady says and I quote ‘she has so many children to look after on her own now’. Has the husband now become less husband because he is positive? This type of stigma wont take us anywhere!
How can two married people end up with two different ‘results’ one positive and the other negative? Did this couple go for tests everyday, week, month or year or were they using mobile testing units? Mariage these days is full of drama and twists and turns(Aids, money, trust, extended families) etc.
How is it that she would remain negative. Aletana ukumunina, hence the outlet went somewhere else. Keep the guy and use condoms
My wife is positive and i am not. We are still married and enjoy our lives like there is not diesease in our home. I participate in my wife treatment like its my own. We use condoms whenever we make sex and it has not affected our sexual life. Condoms are what men use on prostitutes and love them like hell to an extent of divorcing their wife over the same women. I see no problem therefore in using a condom with my wife. How about that to you all?
This is a good topic since i started blogging on this blog. We need guidance, but i would rather it comes from well meaning men and women of God to guide us on this one. I say so in that theirs will be counsel prayed over and inspired by the Love, Humility and Compassion of the Almighty God. What do the men and women of God have to say on this contentious issue?
#13 Its not that the husband has become irresponsible its just that she is now living alone and probably there has been no support from him. Or maybe to take the pressure of him thinking about looking after his health and providing for his family especially that they are not together would be too much for him.
protective sex in a marriage set up is not easy bane, u can try but remember thats yo partner and u know very well how tasty he or she can be…so really for me using condoms thru out my marriage doesnt really work, thats why man and wife shud remain faithful 2 each other 2 avoid using ifyama condom thru out yo marriage unless otherwise
in relationships u will only use a condom maybe in the early stages after that its walai, so the best is to bolt from this hiv+ GUY.
sex is meant 2 be enjoyed in a marriage and it is approved by God so y ukuyonaula nama condom coz one of u is promiscous? the bible says wives be submissive and husbands love yo wives. it doesnt say use condoms on prostitues and love them like hell 2 an xtent of dvorcing yo wives..hello ba# 16 muli ba chabe..
That guy aliyapwila umulilo pamakasa. Malibu yakuilombela. Let him pay and your sister made a very good decision so that she can remain health and take care of the kids. Wamona kapala yazanda.
#14 and 15,its very possible for one partner to be positive while the other negative,what is called discodant couples.now regarding the issue at hand i feel she did the right thing but for a wrong reason,its not right to divorce yo p’tner because of hiv rather she shud have done so on account of unfaithfulness on the part of the x provided she had proof.remember adultery is the only reason given in the bible to permit divorce…..to be continued.
#19 I totally agree with you. You may do that when you are on family planing but for it to be permanent in your home that is abit hard. Indeed we need to be and remain faithful to our partners.
Even as some of us want to condemn the positive guy to death, how many us on the blog have been brave and strong enough to go for VCT and know our status? Some of the people condemning the positive guy do not even know their status. It does not always when one is positive then that person was promiscuous, guys.
# 23 Right on she should have divorced him when he was adulterous and not when he is sick. Its a right move at a wrong time. Cause now he will be complaining to his relatives and crying out for his wife hence bring bad luck upon her.She should have left him the time he was misbehaving cause now he has no one to look after him those women have run away. Haven’t you seen men who ran away from their wives but after getting sick they go back and these women look after them till their death and thus God’s blessings are upon them.
its difficult to pass judgement on a one sided story. we dont know the kind of woman your sister was to her husband, right now she is playing victim. its sad that when it comes to divorce, men’s side of the stories are always trashed. they are always cast as perpetrators and women as victims. can you men learn to TALK AND CRY when it hurts? to me you sister has denied herself an occasion to show us her capacity to LOVE AND FORGIVE and should henceforth stop using her name in the same sentence with CHRIST if she has any sense of shame.
#16 UWA CHISHINKA, do you do foreplay, kissing, do you go ‘down’ your wife? Aids can be transmitted via the above mentioned methods. On the other hand if you do not carry out foreplay, then you are selfish and only please yourself. Do not tell me about boobs…..
Its fortunate that yr sister is not positive…Most men behave like dogs, they leave their wives at home and sleep with any woman they meet in the streets. There is time for everything and now is the time for him to pay for his sins.Let him go and stay with the woman that gave him the disease.It will be very sad for innocent children to lose both parents just becoz of a foolish person who calls himself father/husband.
Even God will punish us for our sins… by staying with him when he cheated, she gave him a second chance and now. Since she is not God, no third chance!!Mama just move on and let him die alone……
why are you all assuming he got the disease from someone else, a woman from that matter? what if it was from a man? what if he got it through transfusion or injections? as learned persons, when you are presented with such cases ask questions first
Guys its tricky! have been stranglying to come to terms with living with an HIV+ wife. we only went for vct 1 week before “i do”. it has been hard. no kid yet its one yet but am planning to outsorce the kid by impreganting another gal. how wise is this guys. i need your comments.
lesson number one. do not employ a beautiful maid. mukazitenga baja ba kumunzi. those who use tagiri lotion. does that ring a bell folks? yes thats the type which is needed to mop the floors and spread our beds. lesson number two. ladies please do not allow the maids to wash your husbands’ underwear. this creates a sexual bond between the two. other maids have got “muti” which when they touch your undee, the machine will not be working when you are with your madam but will give a jump start when you get sight of the maid.
i love my HIV+ wife but will it do her well if she discovers am trying to have a child from another woman?
#31 based on explanation from Muzo, you can assume and conclude that he got the disease from somewhere else. If Nannies were turned into wives what of a person that he meets in the streets???? We have to pass judgement based on the letter and not what we do not know. If he is reading, let him send his letter and we will compare the two!!!!!!
Your sister is very very wrong to divorce her husband. There is really no reason for the wife to live the husband at the time he is sick. If the man was promiscuous, the wife should have left him before he fell sick. Why did she stay all that time with the man even when she knew he was promiscuous? My friend advise your sister to stay with her husband till death. Nowadays bala toping’a you know. Icho chimudala he will rise again and lead a normal life. Besides they can live together happily so long they use condoms. Ditching the man is not solving the problem. Tell your sister to be brave and persevere after all she is a christian and made the vows when they got married.
Shame!
iyo bane!!!!!!
this is a very sensitive issue. the gal made a vow to stik with her husband for better or for worse, in health and in sickness. A VOW IS A VOW. WOMAN, GO BACK TO YOUR HUSBAND!!!!
#32 Just be honest with your wife and make her understand that you need a child. if she is not selfish, she will give you a go ahead.If I know that I will be dead any time, I wouldn’t deny anyone a chance to be happy.
PUT VOWS ASIDE AND DONT GO BACK…. If you want innocent kids to be double orphans, do it…..
Guys that is why it is important to have an HIV test before you get married so that each partner knows their status. Marriage is ordained of God and is not something that should be taken lightly. Those vows made on the wedding day are not kids play but very serious vows. I do not support the idea of the wife leaving her husband just because he is HIV +. This couple needs cunselling on how to live together under the circumstances they are in
#32, it’s still possible for you to have a child with your wife without contracting the virus and with a highly reduced risk of passing it on to your child. Seek advice from an HIV aids practitioner beforeyou hurt your mrriage by outsourcing
28. Yes we do foreplay, of course not limited to your thinking of genitalia titilation and mouth to mouth kissing. Mind you, you are dealing with a well researched and schooled person on how to sexually carry on in discordant couples. Foreplay for your information is wide and varied as they are diffent perfumes or meals in the world. Kissing can be on the ears, neck, ass, boobs and lots of sexually sensitive parts of the body. Foreplay can be touching the various sensual parts of the human anatomy, not just the clitoris, but many thousands of spots on the body. The when both of you are up to it, condom and the next thing its wow you are in seventh heaven and riding the sexual cresendo. Thnkx
additionally, in support of #43, you can go down on your wife using dams.
The basis of the marriage should be the promiscuity or loss of love (Which we all know will be difficult to admit on this forum). There are many solutions to hiv/aids these days that one cannot use it as an excuse. Be honest. Everyone can understand a delayed reaction to the pain that was caused during the marriage.
Just look at Evelyn and Frank Mutubila, may be this marriage can still survive though one Kanayaka!
Anonymous one of my relatives died two months after giving birth.The baby is still alive and HIV negative however, the mother did not live long as expected.
#32 if you want her to die fews months after giving birth go ahead otherwise discuss with her and have a child somewhere else.
its in sickness and in health if they are in love they should definately stick together because love conquers all.
I think asking the public such a question is asking to be more confused with ones decision. The decision is already taken the woman has already left her husband. Vows or no vows, maids, foreplay, condoms, women in the street are all things that will not help in this case. Whatever we are saying now is water under the bridge, she has gone and people make decisions based on what suits their environment at a particular time. What you are doing now is like the Marcia Chilemenas and Teddy Mulonga would do before or after a soccer match, sit for an hour talk about who kicked well and how this one passed or not passed the ball to this or that one. I find that sickening so does this.
The Bible permits divorce only on grounds of infidelity but the condition is not to marry again while the other partner lives. However, to divorce because the man is HIV+ as per explanation is biblical. The Lady should have divorced him when she discovered that he was promiscious and should have not married until he died if he is to die first.
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.11He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”-Mark 10:10-12.
You can also read Luke 16:18, Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9
Sorry, I forgot to use my blog name in # 50. Its not the usual Anonymous. Bare with me.
And I also meant “to divorce because the man is HIV+ as per explanation is UNBIBLICAL.
njobvu kazi,I won’t pre-empt the circumstances surrounding your relative’s death. Condolences though. But I know that PMTCT (prevention of mother to child transmission) therapy also looks into the protection of the mother and the survival rates are quite hight now if the mother’s HIV+ status is known before or during the early months of pregnancy. Let’s not preach doom and gloom in an age where precutionary measures are ther to prevent a mother’s/child’s death if necessary measures are taken. It’s the voice of stigma that is responsible for prpetuation of the situation in our country
TAKE A SERIOUS REFLECTION ON THIS MATTER AND DON’T JUST SAY THINGS YOU CAN’T BACK WITH CONVICTION. MOST OF YOU ARE MERELY GLOSSING OVER MOST OF THE ISSUES YOU ARE TRYING TO RESPOND TO.YOU ARE VERY NAIVE AND TOTALLY INMATURE TO CONTRIBUTE ON THIS ISSUE, POSSIBLY YOU SHOULD SHUT UP AND LET THOSE THAT HAVE THE KNOWHOW ADVISE THE CONCERNED PERSONS.
LT, I THINK YOU SHOULD ALSO COME UP WITH A MORE ENCOMPASSING COMMENT AT A GIVEN STAGE, LIKE JERRYSPRINGER SHOW KIND, AS BLOGGERS TEND TO CONFUSE THINGS AFTER SOMETIME AND EVEN THE ONES THEY INTEND TO HELP. PEOPLE MAYBE POSITIVE AS A RESULT OF SO MANY CAUSES, BESIDES THERE IS A WINDOW PERIOD. WHO KNOWS IT MAY JUST BE A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE YOU GET I
It is indeed tricky. If you managed to stay with him all these years while he abused you physically, mentally and emotionally, then you can still stay with him and just care for him. Now that you have left him, only unless you will stay away from all men in the world, else you will have to ask every man you meet to be tested for HIV before you indulge otherwise you would not have solved anything. Then the devil you know would be better than the angel you do not know.
Shimapepo #50. On the issue of divorce and remarrying in case of infidelity, you need to go back to the bible before you completely mislead the masses. It is only the party which is at fault that is not free to marry until the other party dies. But the one who is wronged, they are free to marry again even if the other party is alive. God is not as unfair as you want o portray him. If you are trully a shimapepo you need to do better research before you comment on such sensitive issue. If you commit adultery today and you wife divorces you for it, she is a free person and can marry again coz you broke the convenant but as for you, you cannot remarry until she is dead.
the woman knew a long time ago that the husband was going out with other women. I just hope she has been well tested and the results are negative. In some pipo it takes time to know thay are positive
As for the lady in the story, the only wrong thing she did is wrong timing on her part. That man should have been divorced when it became apparent that he was promiscuous. However, my only advice to her is, you do not need to ber married to him to take care of him. You are the closest person he has right now and you could as a christian opt to nurse him and support him but not as wife. You can do that for the sake of your children because he is their father.
The bible is clear about such matters. Marriage vows should not be used as an excuse when one misbehaves. We should also realise that hiv is real. Its better for one parent to die and the other one to remain looking after the children.
HMM,I SALUTE ALL THE COMMENTS GIVEN,BUT ITS LIKE MOST OF YOU ARE LAYMEN ON THIS TOPIC.NOW,MEDICALLY SPEAKING,THIS LADY MADE A HASTE DECISSION,IN SUPPOSING THAT SHE IS TRULY SERO NEGATIVE.WE HAVE IN HIV’S LIFE CYCLE A ‘WINDOW’ PERIOD,IN WHICH THE MOST SENSITIVITY AND SPECIFICITY TESTS WILL RECORD A ‘FALSE’ NEGATIVE,UNLESS IF SHE WAITED FOR THE THREE MONTHS,AND RETESTED,OR WENT FOR THE POLYMERASE CHAIN REACTION TEST.I THINK WHAT HURT HER MOST IS THE RECKLESS BEHAVIOUR,AND BETRAYAL BY THE HUBBY,OTHERWISE I DO HAVE SEVERAL DISCORDANT COUPLES AND THEY LIVE HAPPLY.
For the man who went ahead and married his wife even after knowing she is HIV+ and now is thinking of getting a child outside marriage is very unreasonable. You are only husband and wife when you are pronounced so. Weddings can be called off even in church or at court just before vows are made. You knew that in her state it may not be easy for her to give you a child and you still went ahead. So you need to live with the consequences, if you go outside to get child God will hold you accountable for adultry. Njovu Kazi is probably not a christian for her say she wouldn’t deny anyone happiness if she knew she had only few days to live. That is not true love and not in line with God’s will.
Wages of sin death.
Wages of sin is death.
Mimi # 56, I respect your comment. I am not arguing but kindly back your comment with scripture so that we can learn. we are educating each other here. Thanks.
For better for worse bane…before you get married,you have to agree and know each other..whoever leaves the other,commits adultery and kandabwe kamulilo nkikaako mooye…
Anonymous, My relative had a / my in law still has a personal doctor. They knew that they were both positive before deciding to have a child. They followed all the instructions from their doctor. Everything went on well until two months after giving birth. She was sick only for a week and died.
My point is we are not preaching doom and gloom…Do you have any written record on the explanation that you have written??Have you ever carried out a survey as to how many woman live long i.e 10 year minimum after giving birth? If the ratio is 1 to 2 then you can advise someone to do it otherwise dont encourage other to kill their partners in the name of having kids.
Anonymous, Life is too short we live once after that we do not know what will happen as no one has ever come back from the dead to educate us what happens. We can do anything just to extend our life by a few more years.
You can only know how important someone is until you lose them. #32 reserch more and get written records before doing what Anonymous has advised or else you will lose your wife earlier than you expected……
Thanks for the update njobvu kazi. Yes, my area of work is on hiv/aids but a different dimension. So, no, I don’t have much to go by if you are suggesting a minmum of 10 years. I can look further into it. My suggestion was not to intimate that partners should encourage their spouses in to death- it would be silly. But I still maintain that medical advice should be sought and based on the cd count and viral load in the person, the death risk maybe minimal. The occurence is near enough to that of death in childbirth for pople that are negative. I’ll get back to you with statistics in a few minutes.
As for the comment in #67, then why not make the most of the life you have considering we don’t know what happens after? Be happy and make merry whilst you still can.
Anonynous, we can make the most of life by being good friends, relatives, wives and husbands. N.B. Not by killing our wives or partners in the name of having kids.
Im interested in knowing statistics, I will be waiting.
IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO DISUSS THIS ISSUE ,OTHERWISE YOUR SISTER HAS LEFT THIS MAN FOR OTHER REASONS AND NOT WHAT SHE PUT FORWARD.
ISN’T THE FAMILY SHE CLAIMS TO BE LOOKING AFTER PART OF HER HUSBAND OR WAS SHE HAVING CHILDREN FROM ELSE WHERE ?
IT IS OLD FASION THESE DAY TO HEAR THAT PEOPLE ARE DIVORCING BECAUSE OF HIV/AIDS WHEN IN ACTUAL FACT PEOPLE WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT EACH OTHER’S POSITIVE STATUS ARE GETTING MARRIED.
SISTA WAKO ADYAKA PAMWALA, UKEMVERA POFU UKUTI NIKUTEME NISHI WAZIBA ATI YADYAKA PAMWALA?TIZAMUMVERERA MAJEMAJE, SHE IS DEFINATELY UP TO SOMETHING.
LETS TURN THE TABLES AND PUT HER IN THE POSITION OF THE MAN? SHAME ON HER ? SHE NEVER LOVED THE MAN AFTER ALL.
I beleive when you were marrying you agreed as stated by yourself that in trouble and in peace you will be together, here it has come and prove it or practice it. That was theory, now put it into practice. Don’t abandon him, stay with him but avoid sex or as others have said use condoms. If you leave him, the you have broken the vows you made, and beleive you me, a curse will follow. If you were clever you would have left when he was playing around with other women, but not now when he has been found in problems. remember, you might leave him today and come tomorrow you are involved in an accident and you die, what will benefit you? Stick to him and show your entire love, and he will regret.
This disease called “umvwizhinzhe” KAYA.
What makes her think that if she leave him she will live longer than when she stay with him. Anyone can die anytime HIV+ or not, God’s plan is not ours !
#56 Mimi don’t you think it is a harsh sentence to give somone that since they are on the wrong they should marry till the other party dies?What do you think they should be doing meanwhile?Kill them and repent?It does not make sense at all.Just as people marry on an agreement they can also depart on the same.
No.64 I will get back to you later because now am in a place where I have no access to my bible. As for no.75 I did not give that ‘harsh’sentence but God did so I think your sentiments should be directed at God.
Stigma will never end.Please not all HIV+ women die within a year of giving birth.Im HIV+,had a child in 2000,child negative,and me and hubby are still alive with still good CD4 count and not yet on ARVs.We’ve known for 8 years now.There’s PMTC now.Women who die fast are those who are scared of testing and whose immune system low.An HIV+ woman can still have an HIV baby.Let’s not mislead people!!!
SORRY, I MEANT TO SAY AN HIV+ WOMAN CAN STILL HAVE AN HIV- BABY.ON TOP OF THAT THE MOTHER WILL NOT DIE WITHIN A YEAR—— CHEERS..
Thanks for clarifying that nakadoli.
#76.Thanks, I will be waiting.
So what if he is HIV positive now, and where was you sister all this time why she did not take action, she is also to blame because now she will look like the villain for acting late.
Where is Mercy? I am sure she is the one who started all this with her promiscous ways
#76 Could you kindly show me where that harsh sentence is found in the Bible.I know God hates divorce but in this situation I believe God forgives everyone who repents and so if this man repents then he can be set free in deed.What is your comment?
In sickness or in health…she said I DO!
Number 20? ndiwe uziba…walai bilayi…as you tend to build trust in a tamanga? York farm iyamba yamba? Wacheka wayenda..!
All of us a being funny … when you’re between those thighs you all forget that you have no president!!
#66, one discordant couple, very close relatives of mine, (Hubby-) have had two children since wifey tested positive…both children are negative and the youngest’s now aged 9.
HIV is a very mysterous disease, I tell you. What works for others may not work for you, and what works for you may not work for others.
How far reaching is ‘for better, for worse’? In our modern times, we need modern approcahes to issues surrounding us. Yes, biblically infidelity is the only clause out of marraige, how about incompatability? For how long do you endure the ‘shipikisha’ experience before you want out? Was marriage meant to be enjoyed or endured? Such and many pertinet questions need answers.
#87..yaaa the disease is very mysterous.This why we should not take chances, its better to permit your partner to enjoy their last moments on Earth.There is no point in having babis that you will not see grow up. THIS IS THE GREATEST PUNISHMENT THAT GOD HAS EVER GIVEN TO MANKIND.Honestly doctors have completely failed to find the a solution.
HIV pa Zed yaku pema. How can a spouse be negative when science has showed that with sex one should contract the virus.
I agree with # 89 this desease is a mystery. First Gays, hetros and now a partner negative?
Star going to church pipo our days are numbered, you never know!!
Tell your sister that there is nothing to get axcited about and divorce her husband she should do more research on HIV and the window period it could be your sister has already contracted the disease but on that she is still in her window period and if she is unfourtunate enough depending on her natural body makeup she may even die earlier than the husband she wants to divorce. pls be sober about this issue
The wedding vows just changed. Its now ” For better for best, in health and in fitness”.
AIDS should be an exemption in this case. Let the perpetrator die alone, we are not in Eve’s days when she ate the fruit and affected all. We are in different era now.
#71 u’re rit,coz there 2 things here health status & adultery.Now which one did she notice first? Definately it’s adultery of which she was suppose to divorce him b4 he got sick,othewise the reason is becoz he’s sick & not adultery which is contrary to the vow she made.
Most of all these comments are coming from Hypocrites.There is none of you who will tell me that u have not had live sex.Yourselves and your partners u have had it live at some time and the risk of contracting was the same as those that were unfortunate.Its just the grace of the Lord that has protected u.If you are arguing ask your spouses and partners if u a the first person the slept live with.Continue pretending HYPOCRITES
I think it was right for her to divorce him. The thing is very simple for a man (Women inclusive), if you do decide to have it somewhere else USE A CONDOME!!!
#83 I will surely come and give you the verse as I am still searching my bible, as you know the bible is big with a lot of topics. But if you read something from it you can remember but I need to get the verse for you. On the issue of forgiveness, my comment is that, yes God forgives every genuinely repentant person but you still have to live with the consequenses of your sin. Take for instance a person who is promiscuous and contracts HIV in the process, If he repents God will forgive him but that does not necesarily mean the HIV will go out of their body. He will be tormented by it and even die from it and yet enter heaven. Hope that makes some sense. Will be back with the scripture.
HIV is mysterious as someone has already said.Divorce s not the best answer.Maybe she s in the window period unless she has no receptors.And most importantly no one knows how they are going to die..
#89 Njobvu Kazi.How unsympathetic you sound towards HIV+ people.Are you sure HIV/AIDS IS THE GREATEST PUNISHMENT THAT GOD HAS EVER GIVEN TO MANKIND?Who are you to say HIV+ people shouldnt have babies coz they wont see them grow?So now they dont have any right to having kids.What if they have planned and know how their kids will live once they die.So now HIV+ people shouldnt plan for anything but just enjoy their LAST MOMENTS ON EARTH?Read more and stop the stigma and your negativity.PEACE MY SISTER…….
Marriage is marriage.Let the lady go back to her husband, after all, she fell in love with him for reasons best known to herself. Why should she leave him now? In health and in sickness please mwebanthu!
#99
You’re right. No need to discriminate. Let people enjoy life to the fullest. How many people in Zambia know their status before having children? So many HIV+ women have given birth healthy children. Indeed HIV is a mysterious virus.
Its Not ‘in health and death’. Why stay in the lion’s den when you know you can be eaten.You are wasting time,just leave that man and take care of the children.
She is right to divorce him, The Bible allows divorce if one of the partners has had sex outside marriege.
Let the man die alone so that she can remain to look after the kids. The bible allows divorce when one is not faithful, depending on how one acquired the virus.its possible for one to be negative and the other positive in a marriage. 4get about the window period.
Biblically, adultery is unforgiveable and is the only allowable reason for divorce. However the timing is off.
It is interesting to hear all these responses and all I can tell you all now is that this story is true and I mean very true. My brother -in law just died and my sister is looking after the children all alone without any help from his relatives. By the way before he died, he got married again and infected another innocent woman and I feel so sorry for her. About the window period am not sure as my brother in-law knew about his status way back in 2000, kept sleeping with my sister for 3 years without telling her that he is infected in the hope that he could accuse her. My sisiter has under gone the most advanced technical diagnostic systems and has had more than 11 Neagative tests.
Sorry, the last sentence/word should read 11 negative tests. Whoops for the spelling.
No # 98,(power man) what are those receptors? can you explan/expand more?
No.# 98, (power man) what are those receptors? can you explain/expand more?
Poor people!!! AIDS/HIV has been around for so long and it appears very few have understood the fact that this is a complicated disease and not everyone who contracted it was careless. The wife shud stay with the husband till death do them part…I believe condoms can be used since they both know what is at at stake. Divorce isn’t the solution. To fight this AIDS/HIV, stigmatisation should be fought. All those who are saying the man should be CRICIFIED, let them go to vct and test also!!!
…CRUCIFIED…
the wife shud fulfil the promise ‘in sickness and in health’
Muzo the sister @ 109.I got the response below from w w w.t h e body.com.Very resourceful when it comes to this issue.
That is the explanation behind what they call Discordance(1 partner HIV + the other HIV-)no matter how many times you do it live.The issue is how to tell whether you have them or not.
co-receptors
4, 2005
What are co-receptors? What is their significance in HIV infection?
Response from Dr.
Co-receptors are molecules on the surface of a cell, in addition to CD4, that HIV requires to lock onto a cell in order to gain entry and infect the cell.
To comment on a few good advice and really bad ones, will start with the bad advice given on this real and educative topic. As A Bemba saying goes “Pansaka tapabula iciwelewele”No.#71 (Bana Mwana) my sis was married to the same man for over 20 yrs,loved him to bits! She joined “shipikisha club” all the children are his!. Sista wanga sanadyake pamwala, she is happy, very healthy, living large and has been awarded all her dreams expectations and the children are living large too! I PITY U THAT U SEEM TO HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED WHAT MEN R CARPABLE OF DOING IN A MARRIAGE. WAIT, UR TURN WILL COME SOON AND I MEAN SOON, UZDYA MWALA!
To comment on a few good advice and really bad ones, will start with the bad advice given on this real and educative topic. As A Bemba saying goes “Pansaka tapabula iciwelewele “No.#71 (Bana Mwana), my sis was married to the same man for over 20 yrs,loved him to bits! She joined “shipikisha club” all the children are his!. Sista wanga sanadyake pamwala, she is happy, very healthy, living large and has been awarded all her dreams expectations and the children are living large too! I PITY U THAT U SEEM TO HAVE NOT YET EXPERIENCED WHAT MEN R CARPABLE OF DOING IN A MARRIAGE. WAIT, UR TURN WILL COME SOON AND I MEAN SOON, UZDYA MWALA!
# 29 (Njobvu Kazi) Take five! U rock! my sister did not hesitate to leave this man, she never forgets he was the father of all his children. He paid for his sins, my sister will pay for hers too when her time comes! LUV ALL UR CONTRIBUTIONS ON THIS BLOG NJOBVU KAZI, KEEP ON
To ALL the condom sympathisers in this topic/issue, I would never accept my husband to use a condom on me, condoms to the prostistutes, a husband + wife are naturally MADE TO BE “SKIN TO SKIN” why should thieves steal the whole fruit & pleasure of it all?
BEING FAITHFUL TO ONE ANOTHER IS THE ANSWER. My sister still has images of what life could have been like if this HIV+VE did not ” visit /invade” her home.
#50( Shimapepo says) which church do u preach at?
# 50 (Shimapepo says)in which church do u preach?
All those on VOWS in this issue can u please tell me a verse in the bible which says vows were to be made at each marriage ceremony? who made these vows? in the modern world, couples make their own wishful thinkings of what to expect from the other and believe u me none of them follow them in their daily lives.
SAID ENOUGH FOR TO DAY******~~~~~~~~.
#112 Pink, in my sister’s 20 year marriage to this man he has/had been sick several times (many ailments like the ones u and me can have) and she looked after him , this sickness I can assure u is not one to take lightly especially where there are children to be taken care of.
SAID ENOUGH FOR TO DAY******~~~~~~~~. DID I say so? I get carried away sometimes. Luv to Blog too.
#99 Confused and #101
Debate would lose its purpose if we were all to agree on the motion, disagreeing makes it more interesting.
“Who do you think you are”??? I’m a person with the right to express my views.
The question you should be asking yourself is how long has this disease been in existence? Is it half a century or a century?? The fact is that during this period that AIDS has been killing mankind, no Doctor has succeeded in finding a permanent solution. Based on these facts, my point still stands “THIS IS THE GREATEST PUNISHMENT THAT GOD HAS EVER GIVEN TO MANKIND” The greatest physician is God and he is the only one that can bring an end to this mystery disease.
Continued
#116 Thanks
My sympathy for AIDS patients is greater than you can imagine that is why I wouldn’t encourage someone to give birth when their days on earth are numbered. No one in this world i.e NOT even your blood Sister/Brother would bring up your child in the same way that you would do. Your children will be emotionally crippled, as your relatives will keep reminding them how their Mother or Father died. ONCE AGAIN I ADVISE YOU TO STOP ENCOURAGING PIPO TO GIVE BIRTH TO KIDS THAT WILL BE PRONOUNCED ORPHANS ANY TIME.
Continued
Let us not deceive each other by preaching things that will not exist in real life. Some of you would even chase those innocent children from your homes after your relatives are dead. If you are not an orphan or have never taken interest to understand what they go through, you will not understand what they go through be it HALF OR DOUBLE ORPHAN!!!!!!!
# 123 Muzo… Please dont let your sister go back it is deadly. She can take care of him but should not stay with him.Children interest should be first and not their selfish father.
Go back where? I thought Muzo said the man is dead.
#128 Mimi thanks for the correction
Dear All….please ignore my posting on #123
Sorry I meant #127
Dear lovely all, my name is CHILE, MY SISTER MUZO did alighten you on the predicament I went thru and what am still going thru.My siter cares a lot about me and that’s why she had to ask for opinions from all bloggers. Am thanking you all who sent in good wishes and to some of you who thought I was wrong , you are the ones who are wrong. Most of you ‘hit’ on the issue of wrong timing for leaving him, I still love/d this man (deceased) dearly and he is the father of all my children. I look at them everyday and see him in each one of them,and so am still with him. He was my best friend for 20 years, but the disease meant that the children have no one to look after them.I left whilst I could!
if the tables were turned he wouldnt think twice about chasing her out of his house.his promiscious nature got him what he deserved and i applaud your sister’s stance. lets not be chauvanists and unrealistic.its not even about the many children,divorce on grounds of adultery is biblically permitted.why should your sister be disrespected by his womanising and now endure sickness too? no ways. tell her to move on.
Thanks #132. Actually my ex-husband was out to blame me for the presence of the disease in our home, he was very jealous besides being promiscuos, its a waste of time mentioning him now. I have moved on big time..as ‘AM NOT A CAT WITH NINE LIVES’…and I never forget to pray to God everyday for the Good Health and another chance of living.
God forgives sin and all its diseases that came with it. So if your hubby who is hiv+ gives his life to Jesus and repent, God is faithful and just to forgive and heal all diseases completely. Do not limit God, he is a creator and knew him even before he was born, he knows the number of hair in his head which none of us know or can count.
Sister, i urge you to get back to your hubby and live life together til death do you part those are the vows you made before God. God hates divorce – malachi 2:16 and if you were to divorce him, why didnt you do it when he was unfaithful not when he is sick? who knows by now maybe hes given his life to the Lord and has been forgiven all his sins??
I do not agree with the advice saying that God punishes according to our sins. God is not like that instead he is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide, neither will keep his anger for ever. He has not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities..For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.. Trust God sister and he will wonders in your marriage. Seek right counsel. God bless you
Indeed God heals and this is my testimony. I was tested hiv+ 2 years ago, i realised i was a sinner and ended up contracting the disease. I never took any arv’s becuase this was going to be for life instead i just trusted God for my healing and surrendered my life before him, asked him for forgiveness,he has forgiven me and healed him completely. And they over came him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony, and they loved not their lives unto the death. This is my testimoy i am healed in Jesus name. Indeed Lesa alaposha amalwele yonse, yonse fye…tashako atila yonse fye
He has forgiven and healed him – meant healed me
god sinned by creating lucifer even when he knew and foresaw that one day lucifer would rebel against him, and in turn throw him down to earth where there are people he loves so much. Ironically, the Mighty Lucifer`s powers as exhibited on earth are much, much more stronger than those of his creator in the name of god. Christins whished the bible was wri-written to change the trajectory of many of those fables but unfortunatley it is too late. The errant non-divine inspired book called the bible written by mere mortals can`t be salved anymore. The right place for the bible is to rest in the museum as the ” Human creation that misled the world”