Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Loveless Marriage

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kilimanjaroDear bloggers,

I have been married for 5 years but the past 2-3 years I feel I have fallen out of love with my husband. I think the biggest mistake I ever made was accepting to marry him in the first place.I was 24 years at the time recently graduated from UNZA and felt the pressure to marry.Pressure came from relatives who always passed comments at my always being on other peoples wedding line ups.Well, when my then boyfriend of one year felt we should marry I thought it was a good idea.

Over the years living with him has become a struggle.I find every excuse to be away from him.He is generally a good man but I feel sometimes we have nothing in common anymore.Ok I’ll say it, he bores me to tears.I would love to get out more,visit different countries,visit game parks etc.Even taking a trip to Livingstone to see the Victoria falls to him is an issue.I swear even RB has more spunk than my husband!

Recently my brother was going to Tanzania to pick up a Japanese car and I jumped at the idea to go with him.I planned to visit one of my friends living in Dar es Salaam.My friend promised to take me on a site seeing trip to Mount Kilimanjaro.This was a chance of a lifetime but my husband vehemently refused saying it would be a waste of money. I went to Tanzania anyway.Its not like I couldn’t buy my own air-ticket.I’m as financially sound as he is.I had so much fun especially seeing mount Kilimanjaro.I met some nice people in Tanzania who I felt I shared more interests with than my husband.I extended my trip because my friend wanted to show me around. I felt so alive and had so much fun.I dreaded coming back to my dreary house.

My husband was cross but I didn’t let him dampen my spirits.Luckily we do not have kids so I think that makes it easier to walk away from this marriage.

My aunties think I should stick it out and one day I’ll grow to love him but hey life is short and I’m not getting any younger! I want to go places, achieve my hopes and dreams, perhaps one day meet someone more intellectually stimulating than my husband.It aint cutting with this dude.My trip to Tanzania opened my eyes.There are people out there with similar goals and interests like me.Why should I playhouse with this man who bores me tears.

So what do you think should I divorce him and get it over with or stay with him,learn how to make chikanda for him as he wants me to and hope that someday by some miracle my love for him will be rekindled.I’ve never wanted to carry the label divorced woman but ya ya ya ya ya I don’t know what to do.

Yours,

Lady M

180 COMMENTS

  1. Lady M get a life. Meanwhile keep that hubby of yours. Things will turn out for the better. hung on in there.

  2. Lady M, you sound like a risk taker whilst your hubby sounds ike the doormat, but hey be the one to jack him up and show him that we only live once.. Climb the mountains in life together and you will find that man you married in the first place. Dont jump to the next man as ‘everyman you will find will have their own skeletons in a closet’
    Pre occupy your minds with driven dreams and they will turn out true..

  3. Lady M, does this hubby of yours got a degree ? were did you meet and how did you meet ? What does he do ? Why did it take you this long to realise that he is very boring or are you seeing someone ?.Need more data on this one before making a comment.

  4. Divorce in Zambia has become fashionable.Whats going on? Have the members of the “shipikisha” club revolted?

  5. #3, Ba Shi Taonga,
    what has a degree got to do with marriage?Love,commitment, compassion, honesty, trust, acknowledgement, fulfilment are just a few that marriage is built on… a degree mmmmmh am not sure of that one..

    Lady M you seem dazed/confused in your marriage after the trip to Tanzania.. You are the weakest link in this marriage and not your hubby… ulunkumbwa bane…

  6. Am afraid mere boredomness is not enough reason to seek for divorce. You and your husband can still work things out and make your marriege as interesting as you want it to be. He might not meet all your aspirations but I believe you can meet somewhere ( reach a compromise where both of you would be happy ). Seek counsel from your paster or a marriege counsellor.

  7. Lady M, You are cheating on your husband and its just a matter of time that all your lies will come to bare. Marriage is for two people and it take two people to make it work. You are in denial and once your web of lies is exposed you will feel like hell and then it will be time for your husband to dump you right where you belong – gabage dump and your boyfriend will be no where in sight or he will still be there just to service you like a car that needs oil change. Grow up and separate emotional connections from the real ones.

  8. You have already given us the answer to your problem in your second sentence: you shouldn’t have rushed to marry him in the first place!

  9. right back @ ya – Lady M has not indicated that she’s cheating,her husband is just dull and boring.they both have let the fires of love and passion burn low.Problem is men just get married and stop being creative as long as theres nshima,sex and beer they think they have arrived. Take your women out guys, buy them flowers whisper sweet nothings, get to know what is happening around the world and sound intelligent,don’t just talk about Teta and Mulongoti everyday! Her boss is busy discussing how the subprime mortgage crisis came about and all you know is Teta!

  10. Lady M, u dont knw wt u have let it go u wll regret, watever u saw i TZ and who ever u met wudnt marry a lady who wll be on the move all tme grow up girl

  11. Iwe lady fimo fimo, i can read between the lines you tased a different one in Tanzania and now you think your husband aint man enough. Be open with him an he can also make you reach tha…………waumfwa.

  12. It sound real. I know alot of people in the same dillema. It also happended to me. The Bembas say ‘ichupo chipya chilila nga kela, chitila nge, ichupo chakale chilila ngo muba chitila fwaaaaa’. New relations are exciting both rontically and sexally. But remember even that will not be new for ever. My advise dont jump to another supposedly exciting man. Amai imwe muoneka mufuna kusobela, muzadwalapo chabe AIDS ngasimunadwale kudala.

  13. #10 – the writings are on the wall, lady M does not need to say anything but her actions reveals it all. She claims that she met some nice people in Tanzania with common interests. How naive can you fails to catch that?

  14. Its normal to get bored and feel the world out there has more to offer than what you settled for. I think you need to look at the marriage more positively. Tell your husband you are bored and seek more excitement WITH HIM. Do more creative and interesting things as a couple other than cooking chikanda! But when its time to cook chikanda, do so with a smile and not a frown. Its a give and take, not just taking and not just giving! Your situation is not bad. You are bored and this is normal. Dont look outside, look for solutions within the marriage! Remember your vows and dont be quick to leave! Good luck. p/s. I think you are taking too long to have kids. Kids are so interesting and keep us so busy as women. You would have had so much to do WITHIN the family, taking care of man + baby!

  15. Sounds to me you are already involved in an extra marital affair.. and you have given us the answers already.
    Your dreaded husband wont fall from heaven, even in your next marriage you gonna look for that Tanzanian adventure again.

  16. Lady M, just say you have a boyfriend. I know everything that goes on at UNZA. So its like you were in the dark and suddenly, you are in light. Probably the next man you will find will be worse than your husband. Getting a degree does not mean you divorce your husband. Otherwise you will finish all men in Zambia. Do you even go to church I wonder? However, if you divorce, I am here with a PhD and staying confortably, and will be waiting for you – Joke.

  17. Even if you got another”ideal Guy’, it will just be a matter of time and you will be bored with him. I suspect you are seeing someone or you cheated whilst in Tanzania. You need to grow up and face life the way it is. You also need to respact your husband.If you were too quick to marry, dont make a mistake to comeout coz then you will become a doormat fr men. And who told marriage is only worth keeping when you have children, aalaa. Amano nayo yachepa. Those same romantic and intellectual guyz you found in Taz probally a the no marrying type. They are HIV – AIDS suspects. Careful, you think you are still young, open your eyes, look to the Creator and he will assist you. Love and respect your husband.

  18. Seek counsel and if you go to church let your priests or pastors have a session with you both. Take time to watch “Why Did I get Married” again (thats if you seen it) and see what lessons you draw from there. Marriage is so valuable and letting go to quickly simply bcoz of how you feel may not be the solution. Feelings come and go u know. Maybe u have to be the change you desire to see and i beleive what maed you love your man in the first place is still there. Dont let him go. stick in there and make it work.

    With Love,

    Kankungwa

  19. Thenji Stevens (Mrs) What I meant is that this Lady M got married after her studies at UNZA and maybe she feels more educated than the hubby no wonder she says he bores her to tears and not that it had something to do with marriage.

  20. #16 the worst thing one can do is bring children into a loveless marriage.Why make the kids suffer? Women listen and listen real good kids will NEVER cement a marriage.Kids are a gift not glue.

  21. #23 I once dated a banker(no offence to bankers) boy was he a bore.Smart on the outside but not inside.If I married him I would probably be feeling like this lady,luck for me I had the brains not to let the relationship develope.

  22. First of all you have a lot of things messed up in your own mind. You didn’t state what kind of friend you “enjoyed” Tanzania with. If it’s a guy, then a lot of questions may arise and now you are looking for sympathetic comments from bloggers to justify your acts.
    When you got married you knew what you were getting into and you made some vows, I’m sure.
    My guess is you want bloggers to give you a go-ahead on dumping your intellectually crippled husband and jumping into the arms of your friend in Tanzania.
    Bloggers can’t make that decision for you. My advice is try to work things out with your hubby or else 3 years from now you’ll post another question like this after your second hubby.
    Don’t forget that it could be you with the problem.

  23. i meant if she had kids would have been a good idea before she got bored. read properly… did i say kids are glue!? or did i imply it!? perhaps you dont have kids that is why you dont appreciate how much they contribute to a meaningful family life. keep quiet if you dont have kids or you are equally a boring parent!

  24. lady M ,
    sought your self out first before u could say yo husband is boring. u have some hidden agendas. SORRY!!

  25. A lot of people are assuming this lady had an affair in Tanzania. This is an assumption and not fact. It doesn’t mean if someone wants to consider leaving a boring husband then its always because of an affair! Learn to understand other people’s problems and not be just judgmental! Your spouse/partner could be very well going through the same thing and you will be quick to say he/she is having an affair kanshi you are also boring! There are so many people bored in relationships. Its a common problem and it can be dealt with and resolved.

  26. #29 oo Tekanya mamie! I have seen alot of my friends “trap” a guy by falling pregnant. They marry and after a few years divorce or separate.This brings so much untold heartache to the little child.

  27. Ok ok ..lets face it.
    Lady M needs fresh banachimbusa.. the previous ones messages just went through one ear and out of the other…

    Marriage is not a bed of ROSES.

  28. number 33, I agree that men ‘trap’ men by getting pregnant. I hate that trick, its so cheap. But look, people who are married for 20 yrs without kids are a mess compared to people married 20 yrs without kids. I have a son and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love my husband more because I also see how he relates with his son and we bond as a family through teaching my son stuff… imagine it was just the two of us all this time. We would be bored and out of the house all the time. Perhaps I would have also sought a trip to Tanzania to see the Kilimanjaro! Sorry for being harsh earlier!

  29. Lady M, Why are you consulting the general public as if you had consulted them before you got married ?. just decide the same way you did when getting married to HIM. From the look of things , it seems like you come from a very humble background where being noticed was taboo and after getting the so called degree its like thats when you have realised your existance. Shame on you edited

  30. 34, banachimbusa are ok when you want to be in the marriage, ladies are excited and happy about the forthcoming marriage. But when you are already lifting a leg to leave and banachimbusa come to tell you how tough african marriages can be, you will most definately leave! I think she needs pastors/ councillors. Our tradition/customs are a bit harsh on women and doesnt work well especially if you are negative. You have to be in a very positive state of mind to appreciate banachimbusa lessons about being submissive, kneeling, respecting, etc. Love helps us women to bow down to our husbands

  31. Iwe Lady M.I think your Husband is one in a million.Boyfriends take you to the park and all that,Your husband let you watch National Geographic Channel.Mind you with the credit crunch you just jump on the band wagon to TZ, did you plan for that trip?-You can still even see the Kilimanjaro, Everest and the VIc falls on Youtube and save a lot of money. Learn how to cook chikanda if that is what your man likes.give me some kolyokolyo. When it come 2 sex have variety with your degree frm UNZA, you can even improvise try Doggy too, But after the TZ thing probably there more room created.let the same TZ guy continue seems to have better shaft than your Husband.If your husband was boring but better with his thing he stands a chance .ifyo ifwa ma tour tafili nechito just have sex and watch TV

  32. Ala mayo wi-ikata nakuchani fuma muchupo why giving it a f…ck when they are so many places to chill and have a good time.Go for it girl for the years of your youth are numbered

  33. Infact lady M went with her boyfriend to tz and not the brother. I guess thats why your hub refused he was suspicious.

  34. #36, point taken, and God/coucillors are needed in this home indeed. But God is also present in divorce homes. This marriage needs partnership, honesty in all their daily endevours including open communication.

    Lady M,
    grow up too. other wise you will end up as one of the HIV/AIDS statistics.

  35. Lady M, I have to be honest here and say you are a very selfish woman. All I heard in this article was “me me me me”.

    First of all, you where selfish enough to marry the man even though you know you did not really love him and it was out of pressure. You selfishly wasted 5 years of his life.

    Now you are here saying you are tired and bored. That is very selfish of you. All you can seem to think about is yourself. What about your husbands needs? Have you given the thought that he might really love you?

    Have you at least tried to make it work?

    Anyway do what you want.

    you don’t know what you have until it is gone

  36. this story sounds like a joke.. we have lots of problems which are of much significance to our country lady M.. some have actually to do with life or death situations.. and you come up with this trivial problemo? I am sorry but its seems to me that you are looking for fun and that you are still immature. Well if you looking for a dream or fun..america is the land of opportunity and you should consider moving there..or i can give you my number if you are looking for fun…

  37. oo #35 & 37 I guess we are on the same page.Just curious do you kneel before your husband? and in what situation. I guess I’m abit out of touch with traditions.Please don’t take offence I am genuinely curious.
    #38 Nkanu wamu Kachasu are you for real? What do you mean try doggy! and a shaft is a shaft I doubt there are better shafts than others and those who know the answer to that are on ARVs.I’ve hardly seen any decent conribution from men, has the calibre of zambian men gone down? No wonder lady M is bored!

  38. Iwe lady M grow up. I am shocked that you spent all that time and energy sharing your wired boring life on this forum. Talking to people like you a sheer worst of time and breath.

  39. This lady needs help, serious help for that matter. To me there’s some other information missing. Just lack of visiting places cant drive someone to the extent of wanting to divorce. Now supposing even the next man will be like the current hubby maybe even worse than that will she going to think of another man? If that will be the case guys uyu umwanakashi akatupwisha. If read correctly she talked of being financially stable, but has to understand that money is just money, hope she did not meet a Mr “Right” in Tanzania who has promised her heaven on earth. Icalo lifupa wakolokosakofye icashala waposa. Good Luck.

  40. Women who think that there is no life without marriage..pls continue enjoying your misery..

    Yours faithfully

    Happy single woman

  41. I forgot the other question. She should have mentioned whether they were on family planning or not. Could be that the guy is non functional or the lady has no ps.

  42. After all has been said, submisiveness in marriage is total crap…love & partnership in marriage tops them all….

  43. 44, of course I kneel for my husband. i show him respect and i kneel. but that doesnt mean i allow him to treat me like a door mat. I even call him bashi … (my son’s name). kneeling for me is not an issue. its what works in our marriage. you should go home and see how the young ladies appreciate our traditions. they are jacked up but they really know intambi (tradition)! of course i am not talking about 16 year olds wearing hipsters and their belly out!

  44. #50 thanks for the answer. You go girl! I aint the kneeling type,I only kneel to my dad.I wouldn’t even know where to begin kneeling to my husband but I applaud you and keep it up.

  45. #50, I envy you kneeling before your hubby, ooh bashi mwana , culture perevents me from doing that to my hubby.. BUT, the bottom line is, you are doing it more because he is able to SHOW you that he acknowledges that, It all comes down to respect.. you respect & love one another in this instance.
    This lady M. is not a satisfied woman whatever her hubby coud offer..geee.. what a wasted 5 years!!!.
    she qualifies to be a gold digger to me.

  46. LT, this story should be published on the “Poetry Conner” page. There is too much plastic in it considering the local context

  47. Bamayo from the way you are talking you are a problem. anyway leave the guy alone and get the mwachusa for yourserf.

  48. 51, 52 thank you.
    i am not currently living in zambia, but the zambian community where i live is also so inspiring. all the ladies and their teenage daughters are so zambian. if you didnt kneel around here when we meet as the zambian community, it would be odd. people have not forgotten where they come from and we have taken great pride.

  49. Lady M are you a christian?? A Boring marriage life is not an excuse for divorce or having an affair with other men. Please lets learn to involve God in all our matters he will surely direct us. Besides, lets learn to apprciate our culture no matter how much we get educated.

  50. #56 Australiano with a Canadian flag, true or not, this story is a paradigm of so many real marriages in our time.
    Since the family is the core of any society, especially the African one, a weak mariage equals a weak nation. Sooner or later, such problems affect our nation.

  51. dear lady M ,
    i suggest reading a book called 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman.it ‘s a wonderful book for married couples and has helped millions of dying and tired marriages,it’s by a christian author and tackles real issues.enjoy it

  52. #56, this story could not be a true story, but it touches home and some people can learn a lot from this than the daily insults,educational boastings and so many unpalatables we see on Lt.
    (sometimes one wonders what the L.T. webmaster is doing)

    This story can be or seem to be untrue, but actually this happens day in day out in Zambia..

  53. # 65 taly. You are simply the best. I hope this will help our sister mend her marriage before it reaches irrepairable levels.

  54. Boring people often find other people boring and this might be he case with this woman.A smart woman will always have things her way in a marriage cuz a man will always find her irresistible even when he knows she is talking nosense.Learn something from Eve and how she managed to have Adam do the wrong thing knowingly or from Delira and how she ‘managed’ the strong Samson.You will be lucky to get this advice from anywhere else.

  55. u’re kinda narrow-minded youngster, and totally immature, no doubt. u probably dont deserve that dude. laid back homey, probably faithful to u coz if he’s boring, he’s always digs watching TV and maybe playing on his Laptop which means u know where he is. youngsters, 15 year olds, 16, crave for the stuff u’re craving for and am talkin zambian society were pockets must be monitored. your dude’s probably thinking long term and providing for his kids when u have em. yes u can have a blast sumtimes but occasionally, like on public holidays. u shud have had all the carefree moves before u got married coz marriage is another ball game. i feel sorry for your dude for being stuck with u, 4 real. nag nag b.l.o.o.d.y. nag!

  56. mrs stevens you sound quite hash on this woman while Bwalya RSA flag i hear you clearly. most women especially back home are in this situation though they dont talk about it as we are told a woman does not talk of the happenings in her home, that is why most women dont tell of the abuse in their home and their families are quick to silent her if she complain.i knew a lady who got married to a very good looking and descent unza engineer and upon graduation he got a very good job with some mobil sevice company but he was extremely traditional.this made the lady bored as if he was not at work, he was home watching football, her friends went out with the husband to time ,see movies,shoping together but she didnt, she wished she could do that but he was ever on work trips.

  57. Uli kapuba mwaiche wandi. What is missing there is a child ! And dont you ever use the term ‘his marriage’ as if alala eka. Ala !

  58. she got lonely and bored eventually she started hanging out with her friends more. when she talked to manachimbusa she was told a womans place is at home waiting for her hubby but times are changing. when you marry there is need to continu the fun you shared before marriage, but most men take it for granted they have their wives at home. especially young women dont need to feel that marriage is the end of life.most women have this problem but never say it. you need not spend alot of money even walking to the market together plays a big role to a sound relationship.marriage is like a flower it needs to be natured.there is more to ladys problems. this was just an excuse but im sure talking to her would give us the other issues worring her,manyl pretend to have perfect mariages but cry alone

  59. #79, ohh Supergirl, firstly greetings,
    Iam not being harsh on this Lady M but she sounds trash to me if she ca be given permission(right!) to travel TZ then she over stays because she met some dude(s) and then to come and demean her hubby on LT is definately not on. She should approach her relatives first and his relatives and discuss all this crap behind closed doors.. She is looking for trouble and the least and last trouble will be HIV/AIDS and that is if thats what you want to happen to this lady.???If you read my postings well, Iam not really harsh on this lady, Iam on the educative part!!! Zambian men ( some), are naturally selfish, they will never take their wives to social outings but there is always a way to bring back home your hubby you married on the first day..

  60. if a relationship goes down,any silly mistake makes people explod maybe this is the situation,they need a pastor or church leader to help them re candle the light

  61. Most female UNZA graduates end up been hules (prostitute mentality) by the time the finish their studies, I would never marry a UNZA graduate no matter what even if she is a virgin. This woman’s story is just a reflection of the UNZA effect.

  62. She just needs Alanigzi like some prominent babbler once recommended for Maureen Mwanawasa at one time….Zambian politics chabe !

  63. It seems your husband is not making up for his booringness in the bedroom department. Ladies, am right to say all women want a good, good solid shag, and all is ok.
    So you chaps if you are borring and can not make up in the bedroom,, soorre manigi. Just start drinking and enjoy yourself.

  64. Interesting but i think Lady M has made up her mind even before listening to our advice. It is up to you dear, after all, it is your life. However, think about what you are gonna do before you do it. Is it only your husband who is supposed to make marriage interesting for you or it is up to the two of you? another thing i observe in you is that you always want to please people and you do not make your own choices in life, first you married your husband due to other people’s comments, now you want to leave him because of the influence you got from Tanzania. Talk to your husband dear and make him understand how you feel, let him know what you want, am sure you can still have a good time with him. Unfortunately, you lie to him, am sure he does not know whats going on with you. Openness in…

  65. marriage is key. Talk to him, you are already making a mistake by making it public. If you are afraid of talking to him about what you feel there are other means you can use such as involving elders. All the best, take it easy.

  66. considering my vast experience in the psycological workings of a chick, kc is right. no matter how boring a dude is, as long as the boning dept is covered, he dont need to worry bout nuthin. thats why u’d find the wildest lookin own has the prettiest chick clinging to him.

  67. This woman has already decided she wants out and trying to use this blog to endorse her action. Nowhere in the letter does it sound like she is trying to work on her marriage. Additionally, it does not seem like he abruptly changed his ways so she knew all this about him before she married him. Well, Zambia is a free country, she can do whatever she wants.

  68. Lady M.

    You have just increased the fear that i have for ladies.To be honest with you once you lose that hubby of yours whom you have described as a lovely person ,you will never find someone like him,we can even bet K100 million.My dear nowadays marrieges are big assets,everyone wants to get married elo iwe you want to quit.Fine go ahead you will face the consequences.Mayo don’t even blame your relatives ati they force you,you are just still young and you don’t know the importance of cikwati.

    Oh Lord please don’t give me a wife like this one Napapata mwe Lesa.

  69. Ba Matworld#84,
    mwansekeksha anso mwangufwisha uluse.
    Aba ba mayo tabeshibe efyo balefwaya. Ku TZ baile basangalile kwati eko ichalo chapelela. She is so young and the right person to guide and convince her humble and good hubby to enjoy all that she saw in TZ and enjoy all that together…

  70. #84 Matworld wansekesha mwe! You guys like flashy women then you turn around and say Lord don’t give me one like Lady M. just remember to romance your woman and you should be home and dry! Flowers, sweet nothings, appreciate her VERBALLY, tell her you love as often as you can preferably on a weekly basis, and if you find one like OO who kneels before you then you have nothing to fear- though don’t use that as a criteria! women like intelligent men,as I said earlier do’t just talk about Mulongoti or Teta all the time, show her your knowledge is broad based!

  71. Lady M sounds like she is dating someone else. Her husband is a humble guy whose 5yrs of marriage will go waste because of this selfish wife. Ican recommend a divorce so that this humble and disciplined man can be saved from this lady M who wants a fast life. Even a TZ boyfriend will also become bored after 2yrs.

  72. My sister Thenji stevens(mrs) and Ba Bwalya.

    This lady has spoiled my day mwandini,I know most men except Matworld,do the same to women,but the excuse this lady is giving is useless.She cannot divorce a man coz he is not outgoing Nooooooooooo!!! Ngabwaciba ubucende i was going to support her 100% not this silly excuse. I was praying for lady,but in this case I think its better to be on Hold.

  73. #10 This is just a one sided story, this woman has said everything to gain the support of the bloggers, are you telling me that she has done nothing wrong in the marriage and only the husband has? Why are men always blamed, here she is saying “all he wants is chikanda” she doen’t want to give but all she wants is to get, such people, when investigated you will find that the whole problem ends with her, these are hard economic times maybe the husbands is saving money for the future who knows, but all she wants is to blow it, am not saying we don’t need to have fun in a marriage, but what we need is to be responsible. Lastly i think this woman is a cheat. what makes her think that those Tanzanian’s will take her on a trip for the rest of her life? Open your eyes Zed women don’t be…

  74. Yes she is dating someone.The Bible tells me not to swear,but apapena kutinalapa.Akalumbafye this lady will never find love.Iam not cursing her,but that is reality.All those who dump,divorce their partners never find love whereever they never find love,and when they realise that they made a mistake that is when they come nefilamba cikanga besushe na five litres.I fyupo can be meaningless mwe.Viva Monk.

  75. fooled by the one minute advantures that we see around by men. She married this man because of the fun they were having, just like these men she has been seeing in TZ, the fun will simply end and she will be turned into a Masai woman with no place to run to!

  76. Iwe Ka Lady M.

    God is watching you my dear.You are the same pipo who are delaying the second coming of Christ. Wangufwisha icifukushi Nayanokuya.

  77. MATWORLD MY BROTHER, HOW ARE YOU? IT IS GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.. PLEASE PLEAD ON MY BEHALF TO MISS DAISY FOR HER TO COME BACK

  78. Lady M,
    You are immature and your writing above is just another heap of decaying trash. Why should you permit and accommodate trash in that claimed educated head of yours?

    Why should a learned person as you promote the decay of morals in our beautiful country Zambia? Am aghasted by the disgusting pattern of thought

  79. If this is a true story then it is a sad story indeed. We go to school not just to get a degree, but help us think better. At 24 with your undergraduate degree, you were a mature lady. You can not plan to leave your husband bec he is boring! if he was abusive or cheating on you, that was going to be adifferent story. Men out there will do anything to have casual sex, but never to marry you, in his heart of hearts, he knows that if you can do this to your husband, you will do it to him as well-if he marries you. Say you are in your late 20s, finding a man will be another challenge. You have planted a bad seed, but never late, watch a movie “fire proof”, visit your pastor, or a proffessional coucillor for help.

  80. Apa nkani ilipo niya pipe. But dont fool yoursekf girl by going to start dating some Masai guy becoz when you get bored with him, no one will be interested in you even if walinwa like Clive Chirwa because you will be “Nchanga Open Pit Mine” for all i know. Also take your hubby to witchdoctors like Maestro I am sure he will be willing to help.
    Matworld Whozzup ?

  81. You lady M it seems you are the one with the problem why seek to wash your dirty linen in public and worse off to strangers on a Thred? Atase iwe! grow up and get a life. when you were dating your husband did you not know what sort of person he was? You need to dialogue with your husband more and teach him some of the things you mentioned. I have been to Daresalaam, it has nice beaches and all but Zed also has some great places you and hubby can go to without seeking a Mwachsusa to show you life

  82. Whether this Lady M is real ‘s story is fictitious or for real, the bottom line is the foundation of this marriage was weak to begin with. The man could have gone into this marriage thinking “ni nsanga akasabula” and lady M was like at least “ngupweeko fye – fikaisova”. Now thats were the problem stemmed from. There was no love between the two.
    My advice to the spinisters and bachelors of this blog is: get married because you are in love and would like to make the other a better person and build him/her up. Stop looking for Mr or Ms Right when you are not yourself. Look at the man/woman in the mirror before launching out for the proverbial search for the ‘right’ person to marry. Ladies in most cases marry for the wrong reasons- material things!!! Men marry for sake of the…

  83. I just hope you are not a typical solola whose ways lead to hel l ,but you sound like one and it is very difficult to convert a solola with a determination like that

  84. Seek the lord in everything you do and he will direct your path. You never know what you have till its gone girl..take it from me! From what i see, your communication is poor and you kind of look down on him. You may find a man who may have all the intelligence and romance but will he love, respect and be faithful to you?..Divorce him if nothing works for you but be prepaired for pain and different kind of baggage you will find from the man you will find….Marriage is a blessing!

  85. #104 Mwebantu, at least someone on the blog who got the story. Lady M count your blessings. At least for you its only boredom, it can easily be worked on. There are so many problems in marriages, yours seem like a joke. Hang on for a little while. Convince your hubby to take a little trip with you, may be just may be he may see things your way and try to get out more. All in all, good luck. Am just appalled at the holier than though attitude shown by most bloggers. Its completely uncalled for!

  86. lady revitilise your life. change your sex positions. do things differently. what is wrong with our Zambian women. no adventure, once married then they have arrived. Marriage shuold not be a drag. change your character and believe me it will work out. dont just do in the bedroom do it outside, on the table, in a public toilet, you name it.

  87. Its really unfortunate to read abouit your boredom in the marriage. Marriage is a partnership and can only be made to work out or fail by the people involved.
    You hubby might not be an outgoing type so you have to be innovative and chat him into doing some things together.
    But again you sound like you rashed into marriage and feel like you want to back out. Again you have a choice and yours alone, as there could be more to your marriage than what you have given us.
    Divorce is also a solution as you have no children together and love left your home, but don’t forget that you will then be labeled a ‘Divorcee’ making it more difficult to marry in the future.
    Marriage is supposed to be happiness, otherwise why stay in an unhappy one. GOOD LUCK!

  88. hee you up and down lady!!!! the reasons you have given are not enough for you to devorce your huby. What I know is that dull men show their characteristics just at the beggining. So are you telling us you did not notice his dullness? Lady you are among those ladies who are just after money. I think the guy has big money and thats what you went for and not the person himself. Its seems what ever man shows teeth at you, you go after him because he was smilling at you. What immaturity in you lady. But remember that at present marriages are so difficulty to come by. Ask your fellow former UNZA students they will tell you. I have known many of them who have married the rumpens they were dispising at UNZA. Why? …they have met reality now. The same with you, you will regret lady.

  89. I’ve enjoyed this blog today.though I still don’t get the answer as to why divorce is on the rise in Zambia, even among christians.Marriage these days has become something thats easily discarded as in this case.I’ve heard people say I don’t love my husband anymore and walk away. men have been doing that from time immemorial but women have seemd to have caught the trend too.Can someone explain why Zambian women are walking away from their husbands.I don’t mean to scare Matworld but its happening for real.Goodnite I have a husband to cozy up to I’ll see if anyone has an answer in the morning.ciaq

  90. U r a very selffish woman who has nothing to offer to other human beings. Your hubby’s mistake waz to even marry you in the first place, yet it’s a mistake he is willing to live with. Marrriage is a contract between two pipo in the sight of God. So it matters less, where or how u got married, the whole point is u got married and you stay in it. Everything in this artcile is about u, guess what gal, u might as well start acting like a wife taking care of all your hubby’s needs and being submissive to him like the bible states. Grow up and start acting like a wife. These other men show interest in u only coz u belong to someone else not tat u r entertaining.Show some respect for yr hubby and yourself.Money is not everything, what type of a family do you come from?

  91. I think this woman does love the man she is with. I feel more sorry for the man than her. I think for his sake its better she leaves before she makes life difficult for the man through negligence and perhaps verbal abuse or just being spiteful. Let the husband realise that he married a wrong person and get a lady who will love him for who he is….otherwise we may have another maureen!

  92. lady M…
    you are such a let down and a useless woman who is just interested in selfish motives.when you are married you become one body.so whatever you do you also harm or injure your husband spiritually.women of nowadays are never taught.you like ulunkumbwa.my friend life out there is not what you see when you are in marriage.marriage is a sacred divine connection and any unfaithfulness you sin before the almighty God.whatever mystery you may have encountered whilst in TZ that you claim has opened up your useless eyes,its something that has to do with adultery.you tasted other men & you think the foolishness you exhibited will be supported.you are wasting our time and i prophesy YOU WILL NEVER FIND JOY wherever you will go.i have to call a spade a spade.you are such a very envious CHAP

  93. From the begining of your story i am able to tell ,that this is what we call weekend teazers . it is not a real story as i would put it. reasons being that firstly their’s too much fantasy on your side and day dreaming. what is the reason for getting married if one still feels like visiting the world , to me it seems like your are just looking for opinions from your fellow bloggers .on how to go about this in future and more over this is not a site for “ALANGINZI “or marriage counsellors . Grow if you are still married and if you are about to ,stop such teazers and bring developmental discusions on this blogg site .
    visit alangizi period.

  94. Like any relationship, marriage does have its dull moments. The difference between a good marriage and a bad marriage is the effort that each person puts in to make the other person happy, by happy I just mean bring a smile to someone’s face. Find out what makes the other person happy and just do it. If you are the only making an effort I suggest you talk and if there is no change then move on. Any person who really cares will go out of their way to please the other person.

  95. Ba Pk chishala once sung . ichupo ni nsansa , but whenn things are bad it doesn’t mean you start going to the press mwebantu . is this new deal , this person is a educated but not wise lady .

  96. Well, lady M, Marriage is not a revolving door you can walk in and out as you please, you have to stick it out.If you are truly going thru this then leave that man alone before you poison him and fake his death so that you can have a ‘free’ life.You will never be content.I wish you all the best.

  97. Seek God in all that you do and like so many other bloggers have said, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, especially when it’s gone and found someone else. It hurts. All the best.

  98. lady M,it’s called stability over fun!!!
    if you want to have fun go ahead but your merchandise does depreciate with time,diminshiing resource my friend….
    thankyou admin for being creative.

  99. Lady Listen, people complained to God about their problems. God asked everyone of them to hang their problems on the line and step back. Then God said each one of them, “step forward and pick a problem that you think is simple than others”. They all ended up picking their own problems because they seemed better than other peoples problems.

    You are cheating yourself and you are cheating on your husband. Before you realise it you will regreat you never left him. You are not doing you part in that marriage. Build love everyday plan together make him know what you want and get interested in want he likes. Balance the equation. Marriage is between you and him. You can work it out. No man is perfect everyone has a weakness but each spouse weakness is made perfect by God.

  100. #106, Thanx Miss Daisy and welcome back. Just woken up . This lady M needs a lot of guidance. She is walking in a dense fog forest with no direction.She needs a lot of wisdom from bloggers, pastors, councillors alangizi, banachimbusa,her family and the world at large. UNZA did not include marriage lessons hence the blindfolded walk she did on this marriage. I agree with one blogger who says she might have said ‘lekeni naine ngupweko fikaisova’

  101. The lady sounds not to be mature and stable. she is not a trust worthy lady. the reasons she is giving a fake. You leave him but u will regret. u are fake. change your behavior.

  102. BREAKING NEWS ! RB to attend The Non-Alligned Movement summit in Egypt
    at the Sharm El Sheikh, Red Sea resort city, July 15. This guy is surely ‘continuing with the Legacy !’ Perce Military Hospital please be on standby !

  103. Married women in Zambia are misbehaving alot lately. Their common places now are lodges and those hideouts in the outskirts of Lusaka. Iam not suprised. They have no time to build their marriages and refresh them. When they go to see those gynaecologists at hospitals they get into relationships with Doctors and they start getting their prescriptions from lodges and Doctors text all nite to check on them and so forth. Thats why i left ZED iam a victim guys iam not shocked. Its happening . Not all that glitters is Gold and not all Gold glitters.

  104. Very gross
    You think you need to visit Italy , Tanzania and other places when it is the right time to invest for your future kids. First of all, you dated this man before you become husband and Wife ,meaning you knew what he liked and got some chemistry with him. Or is it that you were so poor that you could not spell your own pleasure till you got a job and started seeing the world from an acute angle. I have just started disliking Zambian women when they get a good job ,they always want to acquire more independence and threatening to preside over issues .I can tell she is coming from a poor family and never had a chance to visit these places. However I expect her to respect her husband and the decision is making

  105. After 5 years in Marriage and the couple has not produced any kids ? This is quiet odd in our culture , I can assume some of the couple’s apparatus are not functioning perfectly. Nevertheless , there is always a better way to solve a marital problem than spitting on a blog for a formal advice .

  106. Lady M,You are NOT marriage material and you are very lucky you found that dude to marry you.You are also too materialistic for nothing.You dont just make trips without budgeting and proper planning.Worse still you go to TZ and become so generous as Make Yonse to the guy who you think share common interest stabbing your hubby in the back.Useless woman who I can call educated fool.

  107. Is this for real or its just a joke? Get a life. who said when you get married you expect the man to make you happy? Happiness is within you nobody, will make it their responsibility to ensure that you are happy, that is a fantasy. Thats the problem with women who get in a marriage looking for happiness… marry because you love each other and other things will fall in place. For instance if your hubby doesn’t like going to the gymn, it doesn’t mean that you should sit in the couch and mourn so he goes to the gymn too, get up and go as long as you are truthful and respectful. Besides how did you get married if you don’t have anything in common? Did he change overnight? More over why are you washing dirty linen in public, is there no other palce to resolve this.COme on this is no soap…

  108. #136 Ba sharp shooter nichani kansi? What got to you? Are you one of those men who don’t romance their wives? Or has your wife left you? Theres more to marriage than nshima sex and beer.I’m happily married to a very inteligent man, when he opens his mouth I am wowed.I don’t do the kneeling thing but he doesn’t expect me to anyway.He’s my best friend,companion,lover and father of my babies.He’s worth more to me than 10 000 men of the likes of you.So watch it,don’t compare me to some bored woman who married some dull guy.

  109. # !39 Bwalya,Iam not yet married but very much aware and tired of woman like Lady M.Infact.I dont mean to boast,Iam very romantic thats why my Austrian girlfriend doesnt want to let me go.By the awy,I had a well-cultured Bemba girlriend name MwapeI miss her and maybe someday when I get home”Munda wakale “will do.However,Iam considerate that NOT all can be romantic and thinking the opposite is a fallacy.Iam a conservative when it comes to Zambian culture and I expect a woman from Zed to comform ot waht is Zambian though I do tolerate my girlfriend to behave according to the culture she was broght him(Geramn culture).On average,European girls/woman are real.less demanding and most importantly indepedent than our girls who are too pretentious like Lady M..Didnt to offend you Just my

  110. Oh lady M you are sitting on a time boom i know life for you isn’t smooth but the choice you will make today can or will draw you to everlasting happiness or everlasting misery , remember we are out here to offer advise which you can take or damp but the CHOICE is yours cause you know what you want t and what CAN or MIGHT bring you the happiness you desire, I WISH YOU HAPPINESS.

  111. The best relationships are always the ones that seem boring. The grass may seem greener on the other side but believe me it’s not grass it’s algae fungus. But also your marriage maybe be part of a problem amongst zambians who get married for the wrong reasons like They want a flashy wedding, biological clock is ticking etc. I think you want to leave your husband because you found another man who from your assumption will give you excitement, we all know that women behave like monkeys in tree’s they never let go of one branch(man) until they latch on the next branch. Wait till the xcitement fizzles away and you face the truth you will join the hoards of bitter zambian women with sour faces that are angry at men as if we are the ones that forced you to open your legs

  112. Sharp shooter ok I see, though there are different definitions of romance.I think appreciating a woman is my definition.Showing her that you were thinking of her during the day etc Sometimes when hubby helps me with dishes I find that romantic.I grew up around flowers and so I love it when he brings me flowers, though i must confess it doesn’t happen that often. Our companionship is the most romantic thing.We are friends, he doesn’t always understand me(and he would give any man who could understand a woman a medal) but we love each and thats what counts.

  113. Lady M, Hi you are lousy, you want to be freaking out when you are already married? Didn’t you enjoy your time b4 getting into de mix. Better still you could a have got your fiance to funky it out b4 becoming a household. Imagine it is your dota behaving like you, don’t you think it will be embarassing to de in-laws? You are now a household be matured and plan of being responsible to yourself, your dude, your relatives, your society and your community. By the way do you go to church, if so do you have value in Christ. To be honest with you I cannot marry you not even my son you are a citongo wakulile palwelele.

  114. if u’re wife can fart in front of u and vice versa without any blushing or apologising, then your relationship’s the real deal…

  115. Ba bwalya.

    Tell me something.Is this a reasonable reason for lady M to divorce the hubby.if your answer will be yes ninshi ine shakope.Ha ha ha ha!!

  116. Bwalya,I got your point.From the look of things this Lady M does not appreciate the brothaman in anyway and worse still does not mention what she has single-handedly put in place to make the marriage work,rather chose to jump on the podium (In this case LT) to demean how unromantic her hubby is without stating her side.What if she is the one who bores him by not being womanly?Lady M is too full of herself and I must remind her that in marriage its NOT allowed to say”I or Me” but “We”.Its only in marriage where 1+1=1.Ba Bwalya,no hard feelings,just expressing myself.I bet if we were to get the husband’s side,this Lady M will be on the wrong side.

  117. Although marriage is not like pop corn production i think you could have had atleast one noise maker in the house.Even adoption is a good idea.Seeing Tanzania breaks your heart! what if you went to hollyhood? you will continue divorcing all men.Why always on your friends’ line-ups? Why not do your Phd instead? Baby you are a problem yourself like most Zedian ladies balaipanga for nothing.

  118. DudeLove.

    How are you today my friend? Yes I have just finished downloading them.Thank you so much you have made my day.

  119. Ba Sharp shooter.

    This article is an eye opener for us single men,lets try by all means to be very careful when choosing uwakupa,and once God gives us one lets try to be romantic as Ba Bwalya has suggested.Pantu ine Iam not ready to be divorced once I marry,coz I only have one manifesto which I have kept for the sent one from heaven.

  120. Matworld, boredom is not a justifiable reason to divorce.Every marriage has its boring monotonous moments.couples also find themselves with differing interests and have to reach a compromise. Young people should not marry out of pressure and should only marry when they are complete within themselves. A partner is not there to complete you.You have to be a whole person marrying another whole person.I do not believe in the notion of “my other half” Lady M married for wrong reasons.However, she has to remember what it was that attracted her to that man in the first place and work it out.Well Matworld all the best finding a woman and please invite us to your wedding!

  121. Wow! Ba Bwalya.

    Please don’t say no! I would love you to be my wife’s advisor when God blesses me with one.You have outlined valid points that have really imparted knowlwdge where marrieges are concerned.You know what Iam very disappointed with this story coz its not common with women.Iam one person who always thank God for the way He made women,they are so forgiving,and once they love,they truly love.Iam a man,but I hate men who cheat and mistreat their partners.Iam notsaying that Iam perfect,I also have my own weakness,but my daily prayer is I want God to make me a good huby to my wife,I dont want my wife to be o fgo through what Mum went through.Ba Bwalya thank you so much,for the knowledge.May our good Lord gives you much wisdom.

    Enjoy the rest of the day.

  122. This woman is a slut……… She has lived in a marriage for 5 years without a child. She wants to run away from the shame that goes with it. Ama abortion……… how do you just visit TZ for a week or two and lift your legs for some dude u don’t even kno and then conclude that you have something in common. FIVE YEARS IS A LONG TIME MUCHUPO BA MAYO GIVE HIM A CHILD. U R OLD AT 30 OR IS IT 29 WITHOUT A CHILD & U still wnt to go round having fun. Do u even work???? For u to be busy visiting other countries!!!

  123. ladies like too much living in utopia. They like boasting about things which they cant do them selves but are done for them for oppeninig legs. They would boast of how they visted that place, how they had caribian tea, how they slept in an expensive hotel etc. but when asked if its them who spent on all those things , they become mauless..speechless. They would go like, no my boy friend did for me. This is what lady M is doing ..boasting about what the TZ -guy did for her and not what she did for her self. Ohh my nose…I Kambongolo would not boast about smething which is not mine…thats why I work hard so I live my own life with my own money. I dont care what dull infesters like lady M say coz I have seen a lot of such ladies who are now languishing.Bali pwa ichine chine.

  124. The story in the first place is fake, and the lady in question has no morals. You dare tell the world how you would treat the poor husband. Degree or no degree, marriage is a different league game my dear. Bring serious issues of national interest not malabishi atase!

  125. LADY M,HOW I WISH YOU KNEW HOW MANY WOMEN WANT TO GET MARRIED TODAY?JUST BCOZ YOU ARE EDUCATED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR HUBBY IN SUCH A WAY.ALA BELIEVE ME UKAMWIBUSHA UMULUME OBE UYU.HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO BE MARRIED PANTU UYO NAENA HE WILL HAVE A PROBLEM.UKWANGALA TAKUPWA.STOP TALKING DA PILL GIVE YOUR MAN A CHILD.GOD HELP YOU

  126. Its good to see some women in Zambia are getting liberated and are not sticking to the norm. Although I do not appreciate you talking down on your husband because you have experienced something else I think that you have every right to make decisions about your life. Not your family, friends etc. You have the responsibility for your happiness and in the end whether you are happy or not is your responsibility. My question is have you been communicating with your husband about your concerns in an open way? Perhaps you could walk together to the type of life that you crave for and your marriage can be saved.

  127. Ba Matworld
    Uyu chikashana need deliverance.Ala ine ukukwata umwanakashi nga Lady M,teti njikate na kuchani ukufumya RED CARD.God help me find an understanding life partner and NOT the likes of Lady M.

  128. Lady M, u r just a spoiled, unprincipled but seasoned b#@ch. Don’t make divorce appear so manageable. they r pipo out there fighting hard to avoid divorce & there u r, courting divorce. please spare us this idiocy & immaturity. grow up

  129. After all is said, I would like to observe that you have chosen a selective perception of the scenario and have only told of one side to the story. I think your mind is playing deceit at the highest degree. I think your husband is innocent like you have already indicated and your vacation to TZ opened a door for the devil to force you to deapart from total control of your facaulties (deceived). Please think through it again, I for one don’t side with your story, it is not true. Read mark 7: 22-23, please go ahead and read.

  130. oh oh..you forgot to say how it ends…you get bored to a point wer u want to die…then u decide to play him…that stimulates the
    real you…then it becomes an addiction…you get hiv aids..en both of you die..en the followin mornin is a saturday..so people
    continue to go out en drink like both of you never existed..rush out babe….

  131. If you no longer love your husband, then just tell him so and get a divorce. There is no need of pretending, just pack your bags and set sail, maybe your husband will meet someone who loves him and the other way. You can not force love never, it never works but only creates one problem after another and it goes on like that.

  132. In the same situation but not married yet. and scared to dearth of dissapointed my girlfriend by telling her that I dont love her too much to leave with her forever. Its hard for me because she is so much in love with me and her age and family is putting big time preasure on her and a definate turn off for me. I also dont know what to do here.

  133. She should get out of the marriage if she wants and will probably end up with a batterer. My advise is be with your man and have fun with your girl friends. There are worse guys out there and you might just end up in the fire.

  134. hey! the young lady needs help… and so do many others….
    My dear girl, hung on! Marriage is all about EVERYTHING…. boredom included. From my similar experience, your man isnt boring. Its only YOU who knows what the real problem is. Women are’nt complecated and look for very few things in a marriage…. unlike with men who becaome slippery and unpredictable. My dear, spell it out to your man what you realy want and if he’s willing to work on it and give you, 4get looking elsewhere coz they are all the same and worse off..
    Basically a woman needs food in the kitchen, shelter, some respect, and a good treatment in their matrimonial home… if u get these… even children are just an addition…. THink again. To find a solution, spot your real problem. first

  135. What Can Help You to Build a Happy Marriage?
    ? Study God’s Word along with your mate regularly, and pray to God for help and guidance in resolving problems.—Proverbs 3:5, 6; Philippians 4:6, 7; 2 Timothy 3:16, 17.
    ? Confine sexual interest exclusively to your mate.—Proverbs 5:15-21; Hebrews 13:4.
    ? Communicate openly, honestly, and lovingly about your problems and differences.—Proverbs 15:22; 20:5; 25:11.
    ? Speak to your mate in a kind, considerate manner; avoid outbursts of anger, nagging, and harsh critical remarks.—Proverbs 15:1; 20:3; 21:9; 31:26, 28; Ephesians 4:31, 32.
    ? Humbly apply Bible counsel even if you feel that your mate is not doing everything he or she should be doing.—Romans 14:12; 1 Peter 3:1, 2.
    ? Work hard to cultivate the spiritual…

  136. Work hard to cultivate the spiritual qualities mentioned in the Bible.—Galatians 5:22, 23; Colossians 3:12-14; 1 Peter 3:3-6.
    Please LadyM apply the above advise, I am sure it will work for you, because God’s word is sharper than any two edged sword!

  137. This is one of those ladies in zambia who ‘re misrepresenting the female folk in the country. You say the your husband is a good man and you love him yet you just want to leave him…what is it you wan to see in this world?…to tell you truth you’re just like one of those women who the the next guy is better, then the next…you’re a BITCH. There’s probably a lot you’re hiding from your husband and you’re the one who makes him boring cause you the kind who’s never satisfied. I hope your next DUDE will be the a wolf in a sheep’s skin. I have no kind world for your like.

  138. lady m’s situation is a result of marrying for wrong reasons.one’s hubby being boring cant lead to a divorce.spicing up of marriage life is upto both patners and its normal to go through such moments and work out something as a couple.bankanshi nimwebo ba problem elyo ninshi tamwafyalila? probably you knew u would want to leave him at one point.leave that good man alone and let him find his rightful patner who will be proud of him, period!

  139. UNZA GIRLS, UNZA GIRLS, UNZA GIRLS, hope you are really from unza, coz you re embarasing us my dear, don’t be cheated with who ever i cheatig you, behave like one from unza who can analize things better than what you are telling us. what you have in your hands worth twice to that in the bush and the devil you know is much better than the angel you don’t know, hope these two proverbs will pump some sence in you.

  140. It happened to me. I married when i was 26 & so was ma wife. We had problems-she was lazy because she came from a well to do famil & was not interested in house chaos. I also wanted to make sure, she knew these things for her & my family’s beneit. It wasnt to be. Looking for solace, i wrongly found it in a 22yr old girl. The day i shagged her, i felt heaven & i needed more. My wife became urgly(tho my wife is mo beautiful than the girl). I couldnt stop with her even if she came to know of the affair but some tragic thing happened-& i learned at a price. 2yrs down the line, i ve a beautiful dota, i stopped with the bitch, and i ve come to know that its not about boredom-marriage is mo than that. Try keeping fights clean & the sex dirty-problems will be solved. U r sex mania-i guess.

  141. I for one wonder how you even go on such long elands alone-out of your mans whims. You will never fit in am marriage-thats a fact. Such like you are only good for being a hooker with the elite who can afford to take you places-you mind is obbssessed with. We dont live to satisfy our personal egos only, No. We ve kids that must come through and applaud us for being good parents. Your extremmely selfish-I am not sure what kind of a specie of a human being you are. I may be wrong tho. chao!

  142. The best solution is to be ****ing u right,left & centre. Then u will ve no desire left to see Mt Kilimanjaro. One thing is you are one of those many ladies who live on sex.

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