“I don’t think I can live with my wife Zesco anymore,” I complained to my inlaws. After much unfaithfulness and disappointments, I had decided to take my wife back to her parents.
“But what’s wrong? We always thought your marriage was working,” My inlaws asked after listening to me attentively.
“I wouldn’t say our marriage has worked. Since the days I took her into my home, she’s been misbehaving. Sometimes she would leave me in the dark on her whereabouts. I don’t know where she disappears to but she’s always been complaining that I don’t give her enough attention. I suspect she sleeps with my neighbours,” I said tearfully.
“Are you saying our Zesco is adulterous?” Zesco’s mother, who had kept quiet for most of the conversation, asked, casting her eyes scornfully at her daughter.
“How can one explain her disappearances? I always give her enough but it seems she is not satisfied. Last time, she advised me to buy her energy drink because she complained the normal drinks were depleting her energy. I have since been buying her energy drinks. Then she complained that I should switch from my normal spending and save for her expenses. I have been doing that without complaint. A few years ago she introduced a box where I put savings for her. Although I complained that the savings in the box diminish quickly, I continued putting more money. Neverthless, she doesn’t seem to appreciate!”
Zesco’s father turned to his daughter who seemed not to have been paying attention to the discussion: “My daughter, is this how you’ve been treating your husband? The man who has been providing for you all the time?”
She seemed absent minded, roared her eyes like an owl and concentrated on chewing her gum.
“What does he expect from me?” She sneered. “Its not my fault that I am not giving him attention.”
“Tell me whose fault it is,” I asked, struggling to keep my temper in control. She ignored my question and noisily chewed on her bubble gum.
“Last time I asked for my conjugal rights, she told me she could only give herself to me after eight hours,” I continued.
“And what time was that?” Her mother chipped in.
“10pm in the night! Imagine since May she has been denying me my conjugal rights”, I replied.
“10pm in the night since May?” Zesco’s mother looked shocked. “Is this how we taught you? All the alangizi we organized for you? Even your uncle Common Sense advises you to look after your husband well. So all that advice is just in vain?”
It was her mother’s bitter complaint that made her finally open her mouth to speak. She stood up proudly as if she wanted to fight us all.
“Look at me. Do I look like a woman who has strength to satisfy your insantiable appetite? Haven’t you seen that I naturally don’t have the capacity to satisfy his demands? Where do you expect me to get the strength to make him feel like a man?” She blasted us.
“But where, my daughter, where do you spend all your strength since you don’t provide it to your husband? Where does it all go to? Doesn’t this confirm his accusations that you are adulterous, leaving your husband unattended to?” Her mother implored her.
She continued ignoring the important questions.
“My inlaws, its this kind of behaviour that puts me off. Zesco doesn’t respect me. I can’t live with her anymore,” I begged them.
“But our son,” my father in law begun. “How will you survive this cold season without her? You know she’s your lawfully wedded wife. You can’t divorce her.”
“Our son,” Zesco’s mother chipped in. “Take her with you, we beg you.”
I pondered on their proposal for a minute.
“I can only let her live with me on condition that she stays at home and takes care of me. If she can stop going out to the neighbours, I’ll reconsider my position on this matter. Otherwise, the other option is to bring in a second wife,” I said.
“A second wife? Over my dead body!” Zesco protested.
“That’s why you are stupid because you always think you are the only one who can do the job,” I told her off sarcastically.
By Bellington Elario
Brilliant!
You have hit the proverbial nail on its head.
You forgot to mention that Zesco is being ‘pimped’ to your neighbors by her parents for a fee. That is why she can’t satisfy you as all her little strength is used to serve your neighbors and not you and her parents are enjoying the money provided to them by your neighbors. In short Zesco is a bi.tch
Ba Bellington ndimwe kapuba zoona! Ki ki ki ki.
Zambia Watchdog as usual (and they are usually right, recently with Dr.Kaseba’ story), has the story why ZESCO is load shedding us.
IN KENYA AND UGANDA THEY HAVE OVER SIX COMPANIES PROVIDING POWER TO THE PEOPLE,IFWE BWALILA NIFYOFINE.
NOMBA NEMYENGE NEMISANIKO NATWAMBA BANE KUNO MPIKA.
Quite thoughtful!hope they get the message
Very excellent piece.
Hoping GRZ and ZESCO are listening.
You will be luck if the listen because the are deaf and dumb.
How creative? Well done! Monopoly is the source of all this pride. Everything nowadays should operate competitively to maximum yields.
Elario,
This sounds like an attack on the character of women! Why not put a drunkard husband and father who regularly absconds from home??
Don’t you think that was going top be an attack on the character
of men?
Don’t you think that was going to be an attack on the character
of men?
NGOCC what is your take on the comment
But why is the father acting innocent over Zecso’s adulterous life? Is he not the one who struck deals with the neighbours and persuaded the daughter to offer sex to them for her extra cash and tips for him to restock his fridge with new bottles of jameson whiskey?
Just two weeks ago, when attending Mr Mocabique’s birthday, in trying to show gratitude for the invitation, Zesco’s father promised to speak to his daughter to double her sex escapades with him (Mr Mocabique) to ensure the mans sexual desires are well taken care off.
Nice piece. Admirable writing. You remind me of late Sam Zulu (MHSRIP)
zambia a finished commodity
Bring in a second wife because ZESCO thinks she is the only one who can do the job.
The analogy is somewhat offensive to women. Does I mean women cannot independent? In this era, women do not depend on their parents. In case of divorce, both spouses go their own ways and life continues.
Far from being offensive! It could also work vice versa, it doesn’t hurt for it can be put it any way one wishes! The writer has done a very good job
Insightful analysis of our present sad state of affairs in so far as power is concerned put comically. Nice piece! Zesco cannot wriggle free from cobwebs of responsibility in the current black outs.What has helped incubate complacency at the power utility company is lack of competetion.
The problem with ZESCO is that it generates and sells power. It has no capacity to do that. ZESCO must generate electricity but small firms can sell to consumers. There will be competition and hence lower tariffs.
Not sure I agree with that logic. Won’t have retailers of power just increase the price to the end consumer as these retailer will also need to take a cut also cover their operating costs.
Actually I know who Zesco is. He recently moved from Chawama to the husband’s house on plush Independence avenue.
His escapades is to go & do tuma Jameson.
He has actually done a donchi kubeba on the husband by going to his cousin Irene so that the marriage is not revoked so that he stays with the husband forever.
Because of Zesco’s insatiable appetite for Jameson the husband is borrowing another $2b from their neighbor Eurobond.
The only salvation will be from their child Zedian.
But for now Zedian is asleep.
There is need for another wife. ZESCO is a HULE. A big dirty HULE!
NICE PIECE OF SATIRE.
YOU REMIND ME OF KAPELWA MUSONDA OF THE ’70’S.
KEEP IT UP