By William Phiri
There are a few things you need to take into consideration before you Date a Zambian Girl;
1. They have a skewed conception of Western life. They believe that everyone in the West, especially America, should look like a Movie Star. They are critical of what you wear. Take time to educate her that the “life” she sees in movies is just what it is, “Acting.” Assure her that there are regular People who live ordinary lives in America and Europe; that they wake up in the morning and go to work. They work hard to make ends meet just like in Zambia.
2. Get a Car. Whether you rent, borrow or steal one, get one. It’s a shortcut to her heart. If you have the big Range Rover or Mercedes, you can even Date the President’s Daughter.
I used to work as a Driver. None of the Girls at Church knew and none of them ever talked to me. One day my boss asked me to work on a weekend and later in the afternoon I went to Church with his Car. Believe me, even the Pastor’s daughter came to greet me. I had ladies all around me. Also carry your keys in your hands, don’t put them in the pocket.
3. When you finally get one (Kasha), do not buy her gifts. Jewelry, flowers etc., will not be appreciated. Give her Money. Give her Money. Give her Money.
4. They don’t like public affection. But if you give her Money, you can definitely kiss her in public. Dollars work as a key to unlock public expression of love.
5. Most educated Zambian women don’t have time for dating. They are too busy with their careers. If you date one, just give her a Baby. That’s what she wants. She’s not interested in marriage.
6. Most of them consume a lot of alcohol so don’t be surprised when you take her out to Dinner or to any social engagement.
7. You can not go straight to the wedding ceremony. First, she wants an Engagement Party, Kitchen Party, “Chilanga Mulilo,” then Wedding Ceremony. The engagement ring is not important to her. Just give her a lot of money to do a big Kitchen Party.
8. Most of them do not know how to cook. They grow up in homes with Maids. The Maids do all the cooking. So if you’re Italian or Greek and you’re used to big dinners your mother used to cook, you better get used to eating out in Restaurants.
9. When having sex, they wiggle their waists; they can even lift you up. If you are not comfortable with it, you can tell her. She may do that to want to impress you, but let her know if you don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy it, so I tell them.
10. When dating a Zambian Woman, always please her friends and the people in her life. You will notice that even her brother who does not have a job gets too close to you. That’s how it is. You don’t date just your girlfriend in Zambia, you date the whole village. Give money to everyone you come to know through her. They are expecting it. Otherwise, your relationship may not last for a long time.
11. If you prefer Dating older women, go for Widows. They are usually calm and down to earth. Look out for Toyota RAV 4s. That’s a car for Widows.
DO NOT go for Divorced women. Most Divorced Zambian women are bitter and angry. Most of them join Women related NGOs. They use it as a conduit to express their anger for men. They hate men. Period!