Mwizenge S. Tembo, Ph. D.
Emeritus Professor of Sociology
Numerous incidents happened in June during which mask-wearing United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) goons were conducting raids apprehending suspected undocumented people in Los Angeles. Many of the people ICE targeted were not violent criminal suspects but day laborers at Home Depot, farm workers, children, street vendors and car wash workers. Some public protests happened against ICE raids with some limited violence in one city block near a Federal Building in the large city of Los Angeles of 500 square miles and 3.8 million people.
President Trump seized the opportunity to swiftly deploy 700 marines and 2,000 National Gurd troops. Two months later, a former young Dodge employee in his 20s was apparently assaulted at 3.00am in Washington, D.C. President Trump seized the event to deploy 800 National Guards to fight crime in D.C and to assist the mask wearing ICE agent goons to apprehend any suspected undocumented citizens walking the streets of D.C. who tend to be brown people.
One incident documenting the patrols in the fight against violent crime in DC caught my attention. A resident of Washington DC is shown on the pavement of the city block approaching two National Guards shouting at and berating them. The resident is seen wagging his finger at them when he suddenly hurled an object at the one National Guard troop that landed on the left side of his chest. The 2 guards gave chase as the suspect turned around, crossed the street and sprinted away as fast as he could as the two guards furiously gave chase down the block until they apprehended the suspect and cuffed him. When the report said the hurled object was a Subway sandwich, I could not stop my loud laughter with my chest rocking up and down. I felt awful that I could not stop laughing with tears in my eyes over the serious incident.
However, my laughter suddenly turned into utter dread and fear after watching the former Judge Jeanine Pirro of Fox News video clip. Jeanine Ferris Pirro is now President Trump’s Department of Justice Attorney for the District of Columbia who was bragging in the video clip that throwing a sandwich at law enforcement officers had earned the suspect going to jail. She further emphatically said the suspect was going to be charged with a felony which, if convicted, would earn him many years in prison.
This tragic news sobered me so much that I secretly schemed to save some money by earning some free food since I am a retired poor senior surviving on a limited social security income. I hatched a plan. The suspect was now nicknamed the Sandwich Slinger. The Trump DOJ hauled him to court and as expected charged the suspect with a felony. But the Judge released the suspect on bail under his own recognizance. The trial might be next month.
Since the suspect Sandwich Slinger was out on bail, I intended to travel to Washington DC and scout the Subway fast food places he likes to patronize. My friends and relatives who live in DC were in on the scheme. They texted and updated me on the suspect’s every move up to the last minute. The Sandwich Slinger would be purchasing a sandwich from the Subway fast food restaurant on 14th Street downtown DC at 4:00pm Eastern Standard Time.
I quickly hopped on the Metro underground train, briskly walked 20 minutes and stood waiting fifty feet or 15.00m on the sidewalk next to the Subway Restaurant exit door. I could see through the glass doors that the suspect had just bought the sandwich and was coming out. He walked out about ten feet or 3meters when I suddenly jumped in front of him 20 feet or 6ms away.
“Hey!! Sandwich Slinger!!!” I growled at him. He froze.
“Hear you hurled a Subway Sandwich and hurt a National Guard!! You sun of a gun!! F bomb you F bomb your girlfriend and your mom!!! Explicative you!!” I wanted to really rile and piss him off. He uncorked the Subway Sandwich and seemed unsure whether to hurl it at me.
“Go!! Ahead!!!” I growled with my ugliest Clint Eastwood scowl with intense eyes, twitching nose, and quivering lips.
“Make my day!!!” I growled angrily, jabbing my forefinger on my forehead. “I bet you can’t hit me with a man’s hundred mile per hour deadly major league fastball!! I bet you can’t hit me with a deadly strike right here on my forehead!!!” I angrily jabbed my forefinger on my forehead several times.
The suspect unwinded and angrily threw the 6inch or 152mm sandwich at my forehead. I snatched the sandwich out of the air with my quick reflexes before it could slam into my forehead and I took a swift bite at it.
“You just made my day!!!” I growled as I chewed, squinting with my Clint Eastwood scowl. “Make my day again!!!”
To my surprise, the Sandwich Slinger dashed into the Subway again and this time bought a 12inch or 304mm sandwich which he hurled at me again. I snatched it in midair again.
“Call the police!!!” the gathered crowd was now shouting.
Holding on to my 2 free subway sandwiches, I sprinted escaping to the Metro that took me to Manassas. I jumped into my car and drove for 2 hours back home to Virginia Shenandoah Valley. I learned on the evening news that the National Guard and FBI could not apprehend the suspects in the DC 14th street Sandwich Slinger duel despite numerous 911 calls to the police from the public. The law enforcement officials were too distracted looking at the Epstein Files in the White House.
