This statement is usually thrown around to belittle or irritate the modern day woman. But let us look at it from a different non chauvinistic angle.

 There is no doubt that male and female are different. Genetically we are different, the ways our brains function are different and of course physically we are different.

If we are designed differently we should obviously have different roles to play.

 In Genesis God told Adam “In the sweat of thy face shall thou eat bread, till thou return to the ground. (Genesis 3:19) Here God was clearly instructing the man to earn a living. Note this instruction was given to man and not the woman. 

To the woman God said “Thy desire shall be unto thy husband and he shall rule over thee” The woman was given a different assignment that of helpmeet, mother, homemaker. (Genesis 3:16, Genesis 2:18). Since she was biologically created to bear children her role as mother is unquestionable. Her homemaking role is assumed as she must nurture her young and run the household to free her husband to function as provider.

 The male and female roles are different in function but equal in importance. The greatest problems in marriage occur when either of the couple fails to perform his or her duties, or when one steps over the boundaries and forcefully takes over the partners role.

 Is it a womans role to work outside the home? From the God given roles it seems not. A man is to be the leader, protector and provider of the home. It is a mans duty to be able to fully provide for the family. So perhaps, it is sin if man fails in his duties and thus forces the wife to look for work outside the home to supplement his earnings. A woman should be free from the stress of being a provider for her family and should be allowed to take care of her children as she pleases. Putting children in daycares or crèches is not the best environment for young children to thrive. A woman should work if she wants to but her primary obligation is to her husband and kids.She fails in her role as a mother if shes successful outside the home but her children are unrully, her home is a mess and her husband miserable.

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285 COMMENTS

  1. What makes you think that by quoting a book biased towards the views of some community thousands of kilometres and years away you are now speaking the truth? Ask yourself Why does that book have only men as prophets? Why does ‘God’ look only at sons not daughters? Why is God a ‘he’ not a ‘she’? The simple answer is Because the man is physically (or even mentally… yes)dominant he portrays dominance in any form as a he. Is that then supposed to be taken as gospel truth? The truth should be investigated much more soberly and subtly.

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  2. It would be nice to sit back take care of house and home but are you guys up to being our sole providers? Can you be trusted to fully support us, as women? i have my doubts , till then I’m keeping my “highish” paying job.

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  3. Inonge,please confirm there are more clear thinking women like you around !! Running a home is a partnership and should ideally not compromise a man or womans independence.

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  4. original pundit,what do you mean? Are you willing to help your wife wash dishes,clothes,bathe kids,cook nshima since its a partnership after all!

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  5. Bwalya I don’t think a man who can do domestic chores like that exists. you see thats why women prefer wealthy guys because guys who struggle economically make us ‘sin’ by making us put our 6month old babies in creches, or leave ‘it’ with some stranger(nanny) as we go head to head in the coperate world with other men.I should be home breastfeeding my offspring for two years instead of giving it cows milk.Have you seen how fat daisy the cow is? her milk is designed for her fat calves now I should feed my junior with the same milk! Wealthy men where are you, marry us and we shall go on leave for two years at least,while we take care of your progeny!

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  6. Bwalya(4), the answer to your question is yes.I am willing to help my wife in anyway possible to make our lives easier and more comfortable.It is a radical position to take but life now dictates the viewing of a marriage as an equal partnership.If i wanted a slave i should be able to afford one.Can a man not take pride in bathing his own children, lend a hand in the kitchen??The stereotyped husband who leaves all chores to the wife is a dying species!! Inonge(5) be careful of what you wish for……life with such men is not bliss…it comes with a hefty price and these days the price includes the cost of ARV’s!!!

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  7. Inonge you are talking like you are willingly to be enslaved. Do you what riches can do. Dont be the slave of money. #6 is right you have to partner with you husband. You both have two hands. The are two two thinks a man can not do as yet, 9 months pregrancy and breastfeeding. My tip for you Inonge listen to BCC on 1 August. 2. Take in account the 4Ks as they are known in german but dont be naive. So here they are Kirche, Küche, Kinder, Karriere translated means in the past women were known only to do the following duties: Kirche = Church, Küche=Kitchen, Kinder=children but as time went by another K came in Karriere=Career. You can use this theory it works and you lead a happy life. I call it the 4Cs principle: church, (C)Kitchen, children and Career. It sounds good

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  8. Easy don’t deceive the young lady, I’m yet to see a zambian man who is willingly going to do house work 365 days a year.Once in a while we can lend a hand but don’t immasculinate me by putting an apron on me and expect me to do a females job. Women have beautiful soft hands for delicate tasks around the home.Men tend to do the more strenuous work.Lets keep things the way they’ve always been- we hunt, women gather.

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  9. Marco, world over the percentage of house husbands is increasing.It is not a threat to your manhood but a dictate of reality.If both of you cannot work at the same time……the one who will earn the most works and the other stays at home.This principle is as simple as i have presented it.Why live in a compound to “preserve” your percieved role of bread winner,when you can allow the wife to work and live in a decent dwelling.It is tough and you are likely to be laughed at but if you and your partner understand each other and you both want to live well…..you accept ridicule and get on with your lives.

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  10. #8 Marco Iam talking from personal experience I am a father and my wife is working she never stayed at home for years. What we need is to intensify our family relations such that they is someone at home to take care of the child. We should also establish institutions for kids under 2 years, not only kindergartner or nursery school are important. Life is dynamic. Adapt to change and move with time. What is vital in life is to enjoy life. Remember its short and if you are lucky you can go up to 100 yrs. I my dear I enjoy my time with my kid.

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  11. I am a Christian, but i believe that many things in the bible should be taken in the context that they were written. In modern times, the stereotypical gender roles are falling away and there is more equality between the sexes. I see no problem if a woman also provides or a man takes care of the household.

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  12. K-Gal(11),you couldn’t have said it better.However, i have a problem with this equality thing.Women and men can never be equal as they are built differently and their purpose in life is different too.There are grounds of commonality in ability but not necessarily equality.One is not superior over the other and the true challenge is not achieving equality but respecting the physiological,psychological and genetic differences between the two species!!Man and woman must complement each other,drawing on each others strengths and helping out in areas of weakness.Too much effort is wasted in women wanting to equal men as well as men trying to avoid being a woman.There is no problem being one or the other,it only becomes a problem when they begin to compete.

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  13. I don’t agree with k-gal.If you take the example given in the article where in genesis God gave man and woman different tasks,those still apply today.Men still toil and derive pleasure from their achievements and women still give birth and derive pleasure from a mans attention.There is nothing ‘out of context’ with what God said thousands of years ago.Man is still the head of the house today.Every successful organization or unit must have a leader and man is the God ordained leader of the family.Equality is nonsense because we are different.we are however equally important as human beings.#12 put it nicely.

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  14. easy,as usual you misunderstood me! I take care of myself now and I’m doing fine as a single woman but the day I marry and have kids I would like to raise them myself instead of letting some stranger raise them for me.But if I marry a man like you it will be impossible to take a long leave so as to properly nurture my baby. I’ve seen how badly behaved my nieces or nephews who are brought up in daycares tend to be. Is it fair to leave a 2year old kid at school from 06.30hrs to 18.30hrs in the evening? When do you instill your values in them? So yes I want a decent man with a fat bank account so that I can do all these things.Not every rich man,or potentially rich man is a crook.Are you a communist by the way?

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  15. Inonge(14),you attach such unreal conditions for the man you want.Men who are already rich or have fat bank accounts are ALREADY married OR have complicated marital arrangements.These men are looking for spare wheels not lifelong partners!!You concerns about daycare are real but a rich man is not the solution.You seem pretty clued up on things, find a guy or girl (preferences are weird these days!!!)and START a home TOGETHER.No short cuts my sister otherwise you will perish well before daycare becomes a problem!!

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  16. hmmm life is complicated aint it.I could compromise on the rich part,lets now say must have potential or at least be able to support me.Maybe,I should set my eyes on single academicians who have been too busy trying to get phds. I’m sure there are some available geeks out there since Mulenga and Jelita are already married!

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  17. Inonge(16), life is indeed complicated…compromise is good but don’t look to a man or woman(depending which way you swing)to support you.Find someone to SHARE a dream with…some to work WITH towards attainment of this dream.Good luck with academicians..alot of them have turned out to be the worst kind available but who knows you might just be among the lucky ones.There are no absolute guarantees muchupo…ngafyashupa GET OUT and maybe try again!Shipikisha Club has very few members nowadays becoz more women are able to stand on their own two feet.Remember slavery and servitude was abolished many years ago!!

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  18. okey my brother let me get some advise since you are good at it.Theres a nice guy I met not too long ago.He’s a doctor and studying to be a surgeon.Only thing is he is nigerian. I’ve always been suspicious of nigerians and my family will have a field day if I seriously dated him – they are full of nigerian jokes ie their accents etc.So I have been holding back.Past that thick accent he really is sweet though but I really really wanted a zambian man but they just are difficult to come by.

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  19. Inonge(18), the fact that he Nigerian is only significant when you consider whether or not parts of his culture and what he expects of you, are acceptable to you and your culture.Cultural differences are all too frequent a major source of marital problems.For instance,the black culture of caring for relatives to the point of exhaustion is foreign to some white cultures but normal for us.If the guy is willing to learn about your culture and genuinely appreciate it then it may be worth a try.The converse is true as well.You must be prepared to learn his culture and be able to decide whether or not you can adapt.This is why a long courting period is advised for cross cultural relationships.People normally stick to their own to avoid these challenges and that is why your initial preference is for a Zambian man.(glad to note we are talking about a man for you!!!)Many people get married to other cultures when they are abroad but face problems when they return to their home countries.

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  20. 19 contd. whilst abroad you are insulated from the everyday reality of your differences.When getting involved in such a relationship make it a point to discuss these seemingly boring issues and then make your choice.It is easier to convince the rest of your banja if you show that you know what you are getting into.Introduce the guy to your genuine friends, they usually can spot things you may miss coz you are besotted with the guy!!Some cultures Inonge are intolerant of independent women and demand a woman to be seen not heard!All in all it depends on the flexibility of character this guy has…beware of pretence!!This is my humble take on your situation and it is not gospel truth but just as i have seen it.Good luck,remember the only guarantees in life are death and taxes!!

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  21. Inonge,i have just read some of the posts that went back and forth with the Easy’s,HK and co.on the article about children. I haven’t laughed so hard in quite a while…you held your own very well i must say!!Those guys can be quite vicious…those of us on the main threads should know!!Pity Ethel isn’t consistent with her posts… a womans perspective is always sobering!!

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  22. Inonge, i was tickled beyond belief!maybe you should consider coming onto the main threads……you seem like a survivor so have no fear!!

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  23. original p, hey politics is not my area I leave that to you gentlemen.On your gospel of nigerian truths what you said had truth to it,however with this thing called globalisation perhaps we also need to accept and adapt to the challenges it brings.Anyhow I’m still weighing things.My mantra- I’m not desperate just frustrated!

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  24. A womans place is the kitchen. Who says that? Men and Women are equal nothing more. All should be in the kitchen

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  25. Both man and woman were created in Gods image.Men help your wives in the kitchen. There is nothing wrong with that. Your wives get tired.Theres too much work there. By the time they leave that place they dont have appetite to eat .

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  26. #26.Justice, Denmark
    What has “women being in the Kitchen” got to do with “equality” or “inequality”?

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  27. BIOLOGICAL DIFFERENCES

    To say that men and women are the “same” is to deny physical reality. Child psychologist Dr. James Dobson relates a humorous story about men and women in his best-seller, Straight Talk to Men and Their Wives. Several years ago a drug company conducted an experiment with all of the women in a small fishing village in South America. The women were all given an experimental birth control pill. They were given the same pill on the same date, and the prescription was terminated after three weeks to permit menstruation.
    “That meant, of course,” he says, “that every adult female in the community was experiencing premenstrual tension at the same time. The men couldn’t take it. They all headed for their boats each month and remained at sea until the crisis had passed at home. They knew, even if some people didn’t, that females are different from males . . . especially every twenty-eight days.” (5)
    Science makes plain that males and females are different from the moment of conception. As Amram Scheinfeld notes in Your Heredity and Environment, these differences between men and women are evident in the chromosomes which carry inherited traits from the father and mother. Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes within each cell; twenty-two of these are alike in both males and females. But, says Scheinfeld, “…when we come to the twenty-third pair, the sexes are not the same. . . every woman has in her cells two of what we call the X chromosome. But a man has just one X—its mate being the much smaller Y.”
    It is the presence of this influential Y chromosome, says Scheinfeld, “that sets the machinery of sex development in motion and results in all the genetic differences that there are between a man and a woman.” (6) Right down to the cellular level, males and females are different.
    Sex differentiation takes place immediately as the male or female begins to develop within the womb. The sex hormones –primarily estrogen and testosterone–have a significant impact on the behavior of males and females. Why do boys typically like to play with trucks and girls like to play with dolls? Feminists usually claim this is the result of socialization, but there is growing scientific evidence that boys and girls are greatly influenced by their respective hormones.

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  28. HORMONES TRIGGER AGGRESSION OR NURTURE

    In an ABC special, “Boys and Girls are Different,” television host John Stossel described several studies conducted by universities on what appear to be innate differences between males and females. He explained the following:
    At the University of Wisconsin, researchers injected testosterone into unborn female monkeys. Monkeys engage in very sex-stereotyped behavior, according to Stossel; the males are aggressive and fight, while the female monkeys typically groom and nurture the young. When the testosterone- injected females were born, they didn’t groom or nurture their children. They fought and behaved like males.
    In one out of 100,000 pregnancies, a genetic defect causes human female babies to be exposed to a bath of the male hormone androgen. These are CAH girls–short for a condition called congenital adrenal hyperplasia. These children are born female, but they behave like “tomboys.” The male androgen influences their behaviors and desires. These girls typically play with “boy” toys more than their female counterparts.
    Child psychologist Michael Lewis conducted an experiment with one-year-old boys and girls to see how they would react to being separated from their mother by a barrier. The boys tried to knock the barrier down while the girls stood passively, crying for help.

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  29. BRAIN DIFFERENCES

    Males and females are not only markedly different in the hormones that drive them, but they are also different in the way they think. The brains of men and women are actually wired differently.
    George Mason University professor Robert Nadeau, the author of S/he Brain: Science, Sexual Politics, and the Feminist Movement, describes significant differences between male and female brains. In an essay on this subject in The World & I, (November 1, 1997), Nadeau observes:
    “The human brain, like the human body, is sexed, and differences in the sex-specific human brain condition a wide range of behaviors that we typically associate with maleness or femaleness.” (8)
    Nadeau says that the sex-specific differences in the brain are located both in the primitive regions, and in the neocortex–the higher brain regions. The neocortex contains 70 percent of the neurons in the central nervous system, and it is divided into two hemispheres joined by a 200-million fiber network called the corpus callosum.
    The left hemisphere controls language analysis and expression and body movements while the right hemisphere is responsible for spatial relationships, facial expressions, emotional stimuli, and vocal intonations.
    Men and women process information differently because of differences in a portion of the brain called the splenium, which is much larger in women than in men, and has more brain-wave activity. (9) Studies have shown that problemsolving tasks in female brains are handled by both hemispheres, while the male brain only uses one hemisphere.
    Differences in the ways men and women communicate is also a function of sex-specific areas of the brain. Women seem to have an enhanced awareness of “emotionally relevant details, visual cues, verbal nuances, and hidden meanings,” writes Nadeau. Similarly, while male infants are more interested in objects than in people, female infants respond more readily to the human voice than do male infants.

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  30. DIFFERENT BRAINS: DIFFERENT ABILITIES

    The difference between the male and female brain is not evidence of superiority or inferiority, but of specialization. Michael Levin, writing in Feminism and Freedom, notes that, in general, males have better spatial and math skills than females. While feminists often claim that these differences are due to social expectations–and if girls were encouraged to be mathematicians, they would have the same ability as boys–there is evidence that these differences are inherited and appear in childhood, actually increasing during puberty. On the other hand, girls tend to be more vocal than boys, are better at hearing higher frequencies, and do better than boys in reading and vocabulary tests.
    Males have a vastly superior ability to visualize a threedimensional object than do women. This gives the male his often-observed superior abilities in math and geometrical reasoning. In addition, males are better skilled in gross motor movements than are girls.

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  31. STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE

    Not only are men and women fundamentally different in the way their brains are wired, they are also vastly different in physical strength and endurance. The differences are rooted within both the genes and the hormones of males and females. Michael Levin notes that women only have 55- 58 percent of the upper body strength of men and on average, are only 80 percent as strong as a man of identical weight. Sex differences also appear by the age of three in the ability of males and females to throw a ball far and accurately.
    Feminist leaders naively believe that physical differences between males and females should not be taken into consideration when hiring women to become policemen, firemen, or combat soldiers. Yet as Levin points out, females simply do not have the strength or endurance necessary to be effective combat soldiers. Yet in order to accommodate women who desire to be combat soldiers, the military has designed less stressful physical exercises and standards which would allow them to participate in roles for which they have sought inclusion.

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  32. SEXUAL MYTHOLOGY VERSUS SCIENTIFIC FACTS

    Professor Steven Goldberg, Chairman of the Department of Sociology at City College of New York, has written a book with the provocative title, Why Men Rule–A Theory of Male Dominance. In the book, he debunks much of the feminist mythology surrounding the issue of differences between males and females.
    Goldberg maintains that although males and females are different in their genetic and hormonally-driven behavior, this does not mean that one sex is superior or inferior to another. Each gender has different strengths and weaknesses. However, he believes the neuro-endocrinological evidence is clear: The high level of testosterone in males drives them toward dominance in the world, while the lack of high levels of this hormone in women creates a natural, biological push in the direction of less dominant and more nurturing roles in society.
    Goldberg writes:
    “There is not, nor has there ever been, any society that even remotely failed to associate authority and leadership in suprafamilial areas with the male. There are no borderline cases.” Feminist theorists maintain that socialization is a primary reason why males have dominated the world’s cultures, but Goldberg counters:
    “…if socialization alone explains why societies are patriarchal, there should be any number of societies in which leadership and authority are associated with women, and one should not have to invoke examples of non-patriarchal societies that exist only in myth and literature.”

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  33. FACING REALITY

    Contrary to the wishful thinking of feminists, bisexuals, and transsexuals, there are profound differences between males and females–and those differences are programmed within the DNA from the moment of conception. The brains of females and males are clearly “sexed,” and testosterone and estrogen are the juices that augment maleness and femaleness.
    To be sure, gender-distorting prenatal abnormalities do affect some individuals, and may increase the likelihood that such an afflicted person will later self-identify as transgendered or transsexual (and in some cases, homosexual).
    But barring such unfortunate developmental errors which we should not normalize as if they were not disruptions in normal growth and development the simple truth remains: MALENESS AND FEMALENESS ARE INNATE AND INTEGRAL PARTS OF OUR HUMAN DESIGN.

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  34. twafwa na “copy and paste”!!
    what happened to the skill of reading something and putting it into your own words especially after summarising it.
    No thought is original as we are not inventors, but come on, show some originality in your posts guys!!

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  35. Kwena ba original P and ba Inonge, you have kept the board flowing. Marriage is a partnership. However it is important that we clearly define roles for brothers and sisters in the house.

    I may have different views on inter-cultural relationships, coz this depends on the circumstances one is facing. In my personal opinion, I could married a european or japanese, but as Mozageter sings bolla ni panshi. I managed to stay clear of the 5 minute temptation that has resulted in me being happily settled with a steady family that fears God.

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  36. Ba Analyst(37),even atheists belong to steady families.the bottom line in inter-cultural relationships is: make sure you know what you are getting into,appreciate the differences in culture and expectations…most importantly get out FAST if it is not working or you begin to lose your identity.Never go into a relationship hoping to change…go into a relationship to harmonise your character with another human being irrespective of colour,tribe etc etc. Bola panshi nomuchinshi kuli referee !!

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  37. Original pundit and Inonge
    You have made my week,you contributions have been so realistic and educative. It is as though you are listening to a sincere conversation between long time pals.

    We should have more of this

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  38. oh thanks citizen.I thought this blog had ended so theres life! original pundit how are you my brother.Hope you enjoyed the agricultural show! I had an interesting week.All was going well with my nigerian friend till we decided to take a domestic flight together.After checking in he asked me to hold his laptop for him for a minute.Boy I panicked I almost dropped it.All I could think of was the story of some naive ladies who were asked to hold a bag full of drugs for some boyfriend at the airport and were arrested.He was obviously offended and pointed out that we had already checked in and the bag had already been checked bla bla bla.So we had a very silent flight.I wish I wasn’t so suspicious but I can’t help it!

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  39. Inonge(40),do not fault yourself for being security conscious..worse things have happened to better people.For so long as you were not there when packing you reacted very well and i personally commend you on your vigilance.The fact that he is Nigerian is not of any significance…your own countryman is far more likely to get you into worse trouble.Terribly sad he was offended but he should understand….you should talk about it and use it as an opportunity to find out his views of how Nigerians are stereotyped as being dodgy characters.If he is appreciative and recognisant of the label attached to his countrymen….he should laugh it off and praise your vigilance.He will then know you are not a “dumb blonde” but one who is aware of what goes on in the world.Not a bad start Inonge…i hope it works out for you!!Do pass on some info on his dietary preferences!!!

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  40. oh oh dietary preferences!Why what do they eat! oh boy I should have dated that guy from Mansa at least I knew he loved kapenta,chikanda,masuku etc You can end up finding someone bringing you a dog to cook!

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  41. Inonge,anything cooked well won’t kill you.Our Chinese/Filipino/Korean brothers and sisters enjoy an occasional puppy for relish…so it cannot be that bad!!I’ve been fortunate to have sampled many dishes across cultures, i’m more worried about what type of people they are, as opposed to what is for supper!!I cannot wait for your report when you meet his sisters or female cousins…i know you’ll have alot to say!!

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  42. I totally agree with Citizen (39). I truly have enjoyed and liked contributions of Original Pundit and Inonge – so educative and realistic. Inonge, please keep us posted (if you can) of the developments with your Nigerian friend as many of us could learn a lot from the potential intercultural marriage.

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  43. oh my brothers don’t marry me off yet! I have the most amazing luck with men.My dear friend told me he has a skeleton in the closest he wanted me to know about.Yes he has 2 kids,not 1 but TWO! Okey they are twins so its not like he did it twice.But thats a big blow for me.I thought all I had to deal with were dietary preferences and relatives not kids! Maybe I should become a nun but I hear these people are marrying these days so I can’t hide there either!

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  44. Inonge, my first reaction was “ouch !!”.It is not a skeleton in the cupboard but a potential graveyard!!Tread with care.You have to ask him about them.Does he support them and the mother? Does his family know,why isn’t he with the mother or IS HE ??Nobody is perfect but a man or woman with a family already is always tricky.You have to trust you instincts here Inonge,look him in the eye when asking him.If he looks away when answering or his eyes flicker to the left, chances are he is LYING!!Difficult one to call but be on guard in fact be on extra guard.Caution.. kuyi sunga!!Being a nun is no solution, you’ll be contributing to the shortage of smart women who are not averse to marriage!!Look at it this way…..you are not desparate so going back to the drawing board is not such a bad thing.

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  45. I don’t need flickering eyes I’m already looking for the door out though I seem to be walking out very slowly! He is such a warm fellow.One of the kindest souls I’ve met in a long time.I’m faraway from friends and family and its pretty lonely kuno kubulaya.Inga bamwenye? Patel in the next office doesn’t seem to bad.He was born in Kitwe Zambia,like me, though his teacher parents runaway when Kaunda banned cocacola in zambia.I’m sure we would click! Just joking! Well I’m going for dinner tonight I will see which direction his eyes move.Do the spectacles also move to the left? So I need to peer closely into bashi mpundus eyes.This just might be fun after all.Talk to you later

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  46. Inonge,on your guard girl!! uyu shimpundu may be warm and kind and top of the list of deadly emotional assasins!! Don’t stare at the poor bloke over dinner…otherwise he will think his warmth and kindness have got him somewhere(you and i know better!!)As for Patel….that is for later.Please report on the quality of the food and whether you went dutch!! Bon appetit !! Akasuba takalawa so i’ll check this page later.

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  47. Inonge dont be academic about this. Original pundit is giving you advice he himself cant be judged by. He already got somewhere by getting a dinner date, whats wrong with that? Dont give away our confidence. Pundit you are a pretending…

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  48. Inonge said herself she is lonely. You dont know what she means. Just wish your friends luck than lecture her on morality. People pursue happiness not morality, i challenge you on this.

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  49. Lovely discussion. Inonge! At least you can voice out. I hope this Nigerian doc will not see your remarks on this blog. I think you’re moving to fast.

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  50. Anonymous(49+50),you stepped into a discussion about the practical aspects of relationships.This one in particular discusses the complexities of cross cultural ones.Nothing academic here.Either contribute in line of the thread or turn to the other pages where what is contributed becomes personal.Do not spoil this unique opportunity to have an insight as to what a woman goes through when considering a relationship.

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  51. Hmmm…..nkani ekulu this one but my dear Inonge leave that “warm dude” whilst u can.Thoz characters cant be trusted anymore besides r u ready to take care of twins that r not yoz?awe guy run hurry up b4 its too late.

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  52. Inonge, Wanzelu(53) does have a point !!The twins will always be part of his life (especially given the importance Nigerians give to children).Are you prepared for them to be part of yours ?? I can’t wait to start on Patel from the next office !!

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  53. well dinner was okey.I just haven’t acquired the taste for seafood. Nothing beats buka buka.I hear all your comments and appreciate it.I told him he already has a family which I don’t see myself being part of.He asked if we could just be friends then and before I could stop the words coming out I said yes!It sounds silly on “paper” but thats what happened.Now like a school girl I have to start dodging him and stop answering calls.as the bible says the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.So you don’t think Patel is a good idea.Anyway he is too hyperactive for me and my parents won’t agree to paying lobola for him!

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  54. inonge I hope for your sake thats the only thing you’ve been saying yes to.You might find yourself carrying somemore twins for him.

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  55. Inonge,a man of taste he has proved to be…seafood dinner??!!Oysters i suspect…for their aphrodisiac qualities!!No need to dodge his calls for so long as he knows you now have a platonic relationship.If this version of the “relationship” starts getting complicated then you have my full support in dodging his calls!!As for Patel…Inonge you are jumping the gun here!!How are you to know any relationship with him will become so serious as to consider getting a bank loan to pay lobola to his parents.The Indian lobola is usually paid in gold or dollar equivalent!!Without seeming racist,these guys tend to go out with other cultures for fun and “experience” and only marry their own kind…so be careful or adopt the same strategy!!!

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  56. Original Pundit and many of you guys up here giving fake advice are just damb jealous! Inonge is single and looking for company-not your company, thanks. Your not her achembele to be giving adolescent advice to an adult with a kid. Inonge says she enjoyed the food, and hopefully his company, and told him they could be friends at least. Thats how REAL life goes. Dont spoil their fun. Grow up and let her own heart lead to accept the nigerian or whomever she meets. What do you do if you found yourself single but with kids, and a beautiful female colleague opens up to you? You can NEVER prevent relation break ups with your prescriptions of whom Inonge should and should not date.

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  57. Inonge, NO MAN-and perhaps woman-that includes all your pundits here predicting the worst case scenario-can be trusted 100%. So who are they to give advice about someone they hardly know let alone even seen. Its just typical men’s behaviour to feel jealous of what the Nigerian or others may be doing to their sissy from Zambia. Which is why you shouldnt listen to these jealous folks.

    Move on and do what you gotta do.

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  58. Anonymous(58+59),opinions are expressed on these threads.the purpose of discussing issues here is to hear views from anyone who is interested.it is quite obvious you have missed the plot…once again!!

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  59. Pundit/Anonymous! Who among you has ever seen Inonge or talked to her eye ball to eye ball. In my own opinion, Inonge doesn’t mean what s/he says. S/he is just want this debate to go on. And as for you Inonge, if you really are a lady, don’t play around with men’s (bloggers) minds, you know very well the choice is yours. Go for whatever you like; Indian, Nigerian or Zambian. Don’t compare because they aint the same.

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  60. Pundit/Anonymous! Who amongst you has ever seen Inonge or talked to her eye ball to eye ball. In my own opinion, Inonge doesn’t mean what s/he says. S/he is just want this debate to go on. And as for you Inonge, if you really are a lady, don’t play around with men’s (bloggers) minds, you know very well the choice is yours. Go for whatever you like; Indian, Nigerian or Zambian. Don’t compare because they aint the same.

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  61. Exactly my point GLUCO. I didnt think anything serious of it. As you can see i only joined this lenghty debate at a very late stage when i noticed guys were givign clearly ‘unfaithful’ advice. My general point if we take inonge’s case on its own merit though was that guys were almost planting unnecessary fear and stereotyping fellow men. All men/humans have the same capacity for evil. So to see guys playing good boy to inonge just sucks…

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  62. Am sure GLUCO you read the recent national outrage about modeling participants posing semi nude. Zambian people are among the worst pretenders. Extra marital affairs are among the highest in the world. Angela Nyirenda did a wonderful song about a hubby enjoying sexy girls in tight slacks and bleached skins once he’s out in the dark alone. They watch Big Brother but condemn it in public.
    Modelling is a multi billion dollar industry and girls with beautiful bodies who are not ashamed to show it participate. If the holier than thou are outraged, why not just say dont show it on national TV or press. And let others like me go see it.

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  63. Anonymous! I like your thinking. Why should we pretend to be holy when we are not. What happened to channel O on ZNBC, the so called hypocrits stood up and condemned it. Yet in their homes they were watching it. Look at the nigerian films, they have been embraced and yet they have a very big negative impact on our society.

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  64. gluco, I’m so flattered you think I could possibly be a man.It shows I can survive in a mans world just fine! Well last time my gynae checked I was a woman! Look I didn’t mean to be personal on the blog but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get some advise from people like original P. In real life I don’t think any of us would meet and discuss such intricate details.The world is changing.At anyone time you can have as many as 7 billion people online.You can share great ideas with a fraction of these people.You can also get advise from the great minds available in cyberspace.This is ofcourse done with great caution.I’m not going to live my life based on anyones opinions but I could learn and apply some of things said.I am starved of zambian company and its always nice hearing from my fellow zambians though we shall not and should never meet!

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  65. I met some guy I went to University with,last weekend and he told me something so interesting.He said back in the day I was someone he greatly admired, he said I had a magnetic personality and noble character.But thats as far as it went.I was so independent and could kill my own snakes that he and other guys just did not find it attractive.So tell me,you guys like frail dependent women in pretty little frocks?Who scream and jump on a chair at the sight of a rat?

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  66. Of course we men fancy women with a lot of feminine characteristics and a woman jumping at the sight of a rat is one such characteristic ,but hey we cant be fooled, we know when that phobia is genuine and when its fake.

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  67. So you prefer women in dresses,skirts and all as opposed to trousers?And tell me I thought it would be a good time for a man to turn on his charm when a woman cries or breaks down in his presence but most times the guy just sits there or asks if I’ve finished!Aren’t tears feminine?

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  68. This is a matter of preference, some of us like women in skirts and dresses coz it gives us a chance to see the legs. It will be difficult to break up when I find out you have artificial limbs after we’ve been going out for sometime. Trousers are not bad and in fact we love them but we want to see your shape and your legs in a dress or skirt a bit more often.

    Tears are feminine yes but I would like to agree with you that most of us African men are caught by surprise when a woman breaks down. Maybe lets organize a workshop on ‘What to do when a woman breaks down’ am sure a lot of men would attend.

    Tell us something, what would you ladies want us to do when you break down? call 911?

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  69. ha ha don’t call 911! when women break down they want to be held,cuddled and told everything will be all right.Not to start asking questions, its not supposed to be a brainstorming session.Yet on the other hand don’t just sit there in silence doing nothing.Anyway thanx I’m off to buy some dresses and skirts.I just have to learn to scream when I see a rat,spider or cochroach!Will be back for more tips.

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  70. Go get those dresses and skirts quick we see the legs before its too late.

    Its sad women don’t realize were there greatest strength lies. In fact men are dominating this world simply because women have not yet discovered their greatest strength. Once women discover this we are in trouble. The greatest strength a woman has is her weakness. If women knew how to use this weapon we men would all be in trouble.

    Am not afraid of a woman who has amassed herself with degrees and phds and sits on the board of the world bank, no.

    Am not afraid of woman who is independent and can fend for herself.

    Am not afraid of a woman of the chifires’, the nondes of this world.

    Am very afraid of a woman who realizes she can use her weakness and manipulate men in making decisions that go her way.

    Men can fight a woman tooth and nail if she bases her argument on academics but would be beaten arms down if she comes crying and seeking sympathy.

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  71. Go get those dresses and skirts quick we see the legs before its too late.

    Its sad women don’t realize were there greatest strength lies. In fact men are dominating this world simply because women have not yet discovered their greatest strength. Once women discover this we are in trouble. The greatest strength a woman has is her weakness. If women knew how to use this weapon we men would all be in trouble.

    Am not afraid of a woman who has amassed herself with degrees and phds and sits on the board of the world bank, no.

    Am not afraid of woman who is independent and can fend for herself.

    Am not afraid of the chifires’, the nondes of this world.

    Am very afraid of a woman who realizes she can use her weakness and manipulate men in making decisions that go her way.

    Men can fight a woman tooth and nail if she bases her argument on academics but would be beaten arms down if she comes crying and seeking sympathy.

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  72. Am glad we still have men in Zambia who think like me in the name of anonymous and gluco. Zambians are a pretending lot and their biggest problem is they are too imaginative. You see they say imagination is the highest kite that can fly. No wonder you saw all those people condemning Magande over ladies in bras.

    What was wrong with those bras. You see a lady in bras and you are already in bed with her. Its a very dangerous way of thinking. Familiarize yourselves with women in bras and bikinis and you will soon learn that after all there nothing much to it. Its these kind of people who get excited at seeing a woman in bras that defile their month old children.

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  73. EasyE(77),Defilement mirrors a disturbed state of mind.Psychological analysis of defilers will lend credence to my theory.In certain cultures, women showing “flesh” or being in a state of partial undress(i.e on a beach) would cause mayhem and confusion.If you put a woman in a bikini in the middle of Tehran the defilers may not all react but the normal ones will kill her and probably each other in the crossfire !!

    My point is that: defilement and seeing nude or partially nude imagery have little in common.Defilers need treatment and not over-the-top punishment.

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  74. easyE #75 that was well said I’ve never looked at things that way.It makes a great deal of sense.I hope ladies out there will take a leaf out of that.As for women exposing themselves,I think its okey if you are in Rio de
    janeiro but because of cultural issues it raises eyebrows pa zed.

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  75. #75 Ka EASY tulekulolela ku mapolitikisis kansh wishile belama muma siketi No mukalamba obe Pundit….
    #79 Inonge my sister, why do woman like to be told lies? and why do you guys always cry?

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  76. no sage we don’t like lies,however there are tricky situations where a woman buys a nice outfit and asks you if she looks fat in it.If you say yes you will only live to regret it!And we cry because we are emotional beings.Its in our DNA we can’t help it.

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  77. word of advice to all men……don’t tell lies to women.when in the tricky situation so described by Inonge in 81, tell the truth BADLY !!

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  78. Word of advice to The Original Pundit, No man can survive if he tells a woman the whole truth.If there is one thing women cant handle is the truth. They can handle success but not the truth. So you need to give it to them in small pockets or quanta that they can handle at a time.Giving it to them as a whole is disastrous. This is a process we call “being economical with the truth”. This is what comes in handy when dealing with any woman. Its a process where you are telling the truth but not in its entirety. I know some people will say a half truth is no truth, but not when it comes to women.

    I can challenge all men right now with a reward of K 10,000,000.00 going to any man who tells his woman the truth all the time whatever the case. I wait.

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  79. #83 I agree with you.Look at Vera and FTJ, FTJ told Vera in confidence ati umucanga wena epo uli pa Zamtrop, but just a simple difference chi Vera ukwabula amafunde calabilikisha ati alikwata ama billion.So a woman should no matter how much you love her, disclose 50% of data and keep 50% to yourself,these chaps are not relatives that is why any sparkle they care less.On the contrary women find an honest and straight man to be boring, the like it when dealing with guys like Easy and HK who are great liars on earth but can pretend to be holier than thou.
    #82 you sound like a novice in love traiangle or are you just trying to web inonge.?Be real man,Inonge can be craft ask Born Rich the neighbour

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  80. Ba Kapaso(84),”novice in a love triangle……….be a real man ” ??? Interesting assertions to say the least.Some of us are co-authors on books about deception and its place in modern day living !!

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  81. #81 Inonge…A man finds himself in very difficult position when dealing with woman of today. Woman today have a selective approach to telling the truth. You want the truth when its convenient and when its not you would rather not know than hear the truth. How is a man supposed to know when to lie and when to tell the truth? I personally have come to a conclusion that a man cant win in this situation. I have made a concious decision to tell it as it is. That has landed me in a few problems, but atleast i’m at peace with myself. And i hope you girsl learn to deal with the truth. For example dont ask your man wether you look fat or not. Because you already know the readings on your scale. So if you dont like being fat, Do something about it rather than survinve on false assurances.

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  82. It’s quite rare to find a good liar with a good memory.That is why telling the truth makes life easier becoz you don’t have to remember what lies you have told !!

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  83. You are seated on your couch next to your wife maybe even watching T.V (Realistically just looking at the screen) after a long day’s work. You are not talking, just trying to regurgitate your day’s activities and just walking down memory lane. Then your wife asks you, “What are you thinking about honey?”

    Most men I know would say, “Nothing honey, am just tired”.

    Now its a lie that you are thinking about nothing, however, does it make sense telling your wife you are thinking about how your boss exclaimed at you in the morning or how many transactions are still pending posting or how many computers on the network need an anti-virus update?

    So when I tell my woman am not thinking about anything, in essence what am saying is that what am thinking about is not worth a discussion between the two of us.

    Now if you are like The original pundit who always says the truth, how long will it take to tell your wife what you are thinking about? You will be lucky if she doesn’t ask you what a network or ant virus is.

    And to use inonge’s example, if she asks you how she looks in a given outfit, are you going to tell her the truth that she looks fat and ugly if that’s how she is looking?

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  84. well after you’ve been away working all day I’m sure your woman wants an update on your days activities.How else will she know what you do from 9am to 5pm?As for outfits sometimes we want prince charming to be our number 1 fan so we ask the obvious.Women are stimulated by what they hear.Give some allowance for PMS.Our estrogen levels affect our mood sometimes just as testosterone affects your mood.
    ps.I read something interesting nothing to do with topic but quote- “a mans sex drive must be strong to overcome the natural reluctance of men to assume the continuing burden of family responsibility.

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  85. hey originalP men have to be monogamous.You shouldn’t take Gods command to fill the earth personally! If you men find us so complicated how on earth will you handle so many women.Besides the way our body is designed is such that you have one gadget meant for one person.I have two breasts incase I have twins,two eyes to get a good view of the world.one heart for my one true love,the 4 heart chambers for the 4 times its been broken!

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  86. your response answers me well and that answer being no-one !! Who am i not to take Gods command seriously.On what basis can i choose what to follow and what not.Gods commands are clear with few grey areas.It is the selective application of his word that has landed us all in the mess we are in now !!Are you advocating i join the rest of the world in the selective application of his word becoz it suits women to have a man faithful to her when the word is clearly to the contrary ??

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  87. well I’m not a bible scholar but I think Gods perfect plan was laid out in the garden of eden.He made Adam and Eve only. He said Adam needed a helpmeet NOT helpmeets.If God wanted men to be polygamous He would have made Eve,Beauty,Sarah and Inonge for Adam.The guy who married so many women in the bible- King Solomon is known to have said life is meaningless and His final conclusion was ‘fear God and keep His commandments..’So that powerful sex drive you posssess is meant for your lucky (or unlucky) wife.

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  88. Inonge, i was merely playing devils advocate…an ideal technique for eliciting opinion on blogs !!God indeed made Adam and Eve, something Elton John,George Michael & co don’t seem to understand!! They think God made Adam and Steve !!

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  89. #96. Apparently statistics show that the racial between woman and men is about 1:6. If we say only one man pay woman more than half the woman wont get married. Whats your take on this situation and what is your advise to woman going out with married men?

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  90. well that ratio must be true because I can’t find a decent single guy and I’m sure half or three quarters of you guys on the blog are married.Its a definite No no to go out with a married man.I guess we need to go to China.I’m sure there are more than enough men there to balance the ratios.I once attended an international conference and I must say was pretty impressed with the way the Chinese/Japanese conducted themselves.

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  91. Besides china , what do you think is a practical solution to the problem. We all know that the hardest thing humans can do is to be celibet. What would you advise the many girls who cant afford a flight to china.

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  92. wow thats a tough one but hey we don’t need to fly to china the chinese are coming to us now! Just take a trip to the copperbelt! But before you meet Wang Chu a lady ought to just pursue her dreams, be the best she can be and enjoy life.A man can’t make you happy if you aren’t happy within yourself.

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  93. The Chinese/Japanese/Koreans like to stick to themselves,as is evident in their communities around the world.it is quite a rareity to find mixed marriages among these people.I will resist using the word racist to describe them but there is very little evidence to the contrary.Maybe it has something to do with “size” !! Both the men and women are generally petite and there is obvious comfort in sticking to your own !!My theory would be complete hogwash if there are Mwachusa men married to Orientals.Just the thought of such a union is painful !!

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  94. so how else are we to balance the ratios? we can’t go out with already married men, the chinese are 1 billion.They probably stick to their own coz thats all they know.But once they try out a girl from Lusaka or Kitwe I’m sure they will change their minds.

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  95. #100 Inonge… I would really love to see the Sistas persue their dreams. But to the contrary i dont know if its cultural or not. But i have seen woman abandon school or even prestigious carees in persuite of a man. I have always wondered if having a man is far more important to woman than anything else. To the extreme i have even seen woman kill or abandon their kids because they have found a man who doesnt like kids. Inonge help us understand what really is the most important thing to women.

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  96. Sage I know a woman would kill for her kids not abandon them for a man.that was a weird woman.A woman needs security, love ….I think that pretty much covers it! If a man offers a woman security, she really doesn’t have that burning need to work in a coperate world. A woman wants to work because she likes to not because she needs to.Dreams are not necessarily working from 9 to 5 by the way.I would like to be financially independent enough for instance to offer my expertise for free to the poor and needy.So give us LOOOVVEEE and security and you are basically home and dry!

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  97. Inonge(102),”But once they try out a girl from Lusaka or Kitwe I’m sure they will change their minds.”
    “Trying Out” is a far as they go…….then they settle with and among their own !! Similar to our Indian brothers don’t you think? I find it so sad that many of our black sisters are still just experiments, just to be discarded when the curiosity is satisfied.The only thing our sisters get from these “students of science” are great performance reviews!(the smartest ones get a “house,money,car” and 1 or 2 coloured kids for their efforts!) Sage(103),i hope you have leave days to spend reading Inonges’ reply to your question on what is most important to women in a man !!I personally thing the list should be never ending….that way us men don’t become complacent,which when we do…we start looking for someone else to satisfy !!
    WOMEN: you can never please them enough
    MEN : we appreciate women when they are gone or when they belong to someone else!!

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  98. looking for a woman named Ethel K. Mutale to consult me at [email protected]
    the woman is my antie and lives in zambia. Anybody who knows this woman help out. Last time I saw her was in August 1997 in Windhoek. I am a son of her sister Diana Kashoka who passed away in 1996 October 13. She is the only one I know from my mother’s side of family. I am twenty one years. It is with a humble request please help.

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  99. #105 you never please us because you always fall short of our expectations.Love us and you will be happy. why waste your energies chasing multiple women when you can have one woman and devote the rest of your energy making money.
    ps please help the brother who is looking for his auntie.

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  100. Inonge
    Could you paste you true profile here. I hope you didn’t go to the Beijing conference when you went out. All those who went there have been blacklisted for marriage. By the way, where is your friend Christy? And don’t just stick here in the kitchen (life style). We also need your views on the other blogs.

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  101. Inonge(107),would you agree that sometimes even love is not enough ??I agree there is no romance without finance but more often then not, women soon reach a point where the money we provide ceases to be incentive enough.Besides,the modern woman has money of her own and it is that type of woman men seek.Money is a means to an end and not an end in itself.i quote from you: “you never please us because you always fall short of our expectations”..what about our expectations or are they secondary ?? Love alone doesn’t make a successful union..friendship and love is the better tonic to be addicted to !!Men tend to have multiple women becoz they have friendship with one and love another.Our basic expectation of a woman is…. be a friend and lover and chances are, YOU will be happy !!

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  102. Ba Spinka(108),putting your true profile on a public blog is suicide.The fun is just being able to forward your comments,opinions and frustrations on anything and remaining anonymous!!It comes with alot of responsibility as well…ie refrain from insulting or derogatory language etc !!
    The fun is in imagining what the contributor really looks like.A little mystery in life is a good thing.
    I’ve suggested to Inonge that she migrates to the “war zone” pages as her often fiesty and combative comments would be welcome….but alas she is more comfortable here!!

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  103. Excellent!!! The original pundit. You’ve just said what I have always wanted to say but I couldn’t find the exact words to use.

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  104. Women are so much into themselves. Its always about them. As the The Original Pundit put it, your woman needs to be your friend and lover. If she is just one of these you will definitely find the other in another woman. I used to go out with a woman who was my lover for a long time but she wasn’t a friend. She couldn’t laugh to my jokes, she couldn’t argue intelligently and so on and so forth. In the end I found solace in a woman who could make up for the other part.

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  105. A wise person once told me that “if you want to know how wicked man has become, the first place you must look is the dictionary!”

    I later came to learn that that the reason why the dictionary is the best place to check to see how ‘wicked’ man has become is because even the words that man uses have become affected by his ‘depravity’.

    I will give you an example: If a friend asked you how you were and you answered that you were “gay”, the same answer would mean something else some years ago and quite another thing today.

    I said all this to say this:
    The Original Pundit has said something very interesting in #109 ; something to the effect that the basic expectation of a man is that his woman should both be a friend and a lover. At face value this statement makes alot of sense. But a critical look at this statement reveals a lack of understanding of the word “lover”.

    It seems to me that what the Original Pundit was actually trying to say is that “the expectation of a man from his woman is that she must both be a SEX PARTNER and a FRIEND!!”. This makes alot of sense. A lover is (or atleast must be) a friend). By default a lover must be a friend.

    If we are to do justice to the statement and therefore gain from the grain of wisdom its has, we must replace the word “lover” with “sex partner” because if you ask me, that is what the the Original Pundit is trying to say!!!

    In truth, all lovers must be friends but not all friends are lovers. In reality, this is only as true as we make it. And that is our challenge.

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  106. spinka read all my contributions and you will get a pretty good picture of my profile. I agree with Original P its adds flavour imagining who your fellow bloggers are and where they live.Who knows I could be that ugly thick glassed woman with one leg who lives next door to you!
    I don’t have the courage yet to venture into the war zone.I’m safe here in the kitchen!
    Original and easy E isn’t it that all men want sex,perhaps a good meal here and there,and some peace to read his newspaper and freedom to pursue interests like sport etc.women are emotional beings.Its not that we are full of ourselves.we are also not logical beings.so don’t try solving emotional problems with logic,its like trying to blow out a light bulb! about being a friend and lover Easy e maybe your jokes were dry though you seem to quite a charmer so probably not! I’m a better friend than lover.My friendship with my Doctor friend is so much better now that the pressure is off!

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  107. The challenge therefore is for sex partners to also be friends. I hope these are not 2 mutually exclusive things. Can all the maried people on the blog please help. I mean those who have been married for a long time.

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  108. Inonge, I agree with you, that maybe these jokes may be dry. But these are the same jokes that other women would find humorous. I will tell you this. I was driving along Great East road with a friend of mine and we stopped by the Manda hill traffic lights. Besides our car, was another car where there was a man and woman who seemed to be a couple. Then my friend made a comment and he said: “That woman is definately the man’s wife because they are not talking. If she were his girlfriend they would be laughing.”

    How do you interpret a situation where you are trying to tell your woman a story about maybe what happened at work, then she interrupts by starting to talk about something else. To me this is a lack of interest in what the other person is trying to say.

    This is how these problems start. Then in the end you find that she cant even laugh to your jokes. Then what do you do? Naturally, just like electricity which always has a tendency to use the shortest path, I will find the easiest solution, that is find solace in a woman who would laugh at my jokes.

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  109. No woman can be all that a man wants and no man can be all a woman wants.What will keep us together is the demonstrable effort by both parties to achieve the utopian ideal of ” being everything and all” to each other!!

    Born Rich(113),interesting interpretation of my humble contribution but yours may not be quite as accurate as you have assumed. all the same the spin you’ve added to it has made pleasant reading.

    “It seems to me that what the Original Pundit was actually trying to say is that “the expectation of a man from his woman is that she must both be a SEX PARTNER and a FRIEND!!”. This makes alot of sense. A lover is (or atleast must be) a friend). By default a lover must be a friend.”

    Born Rich, sex is a physical act mainly for procreation but over time has been used as an expression and testament of emotion between two people.The inclusion of the expression and testament of emotion is why it is called making love…hence the word lover and not sex partner !!

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  110. easy e I sympathise,indeed that woman lost interest in you as she was eager to interupt you.however that shouldn’t be representative of all women. To explain the quiet couple in the car on great east road. You see when you guys are dating us you are so sweet.If your woman accidently steps on your toes while taking a stroll,you say “honey sorry for putting my foot under yours”,as you gently and tenderly stroke her foot off. When you marry that woman and she steps on your foot accidently you say ” woman get your hooves out of my way!” So its usually tense in the car.
    Born rich,you explained well.Kanshi ba original your were talking about a sex partner. Ah then as Born rich said lovers(sex partner) must be friends.It is possible.

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  111. Inonge(119),I find your agreement with Born Rich quite out of character……….i rest my case !

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  112. original P its not out of character.If your sex partner isn’t your friend she is a more of a hooker isn’t she.

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  113. Inonge(121),i was commenting on the use of the term sex partner in place of lover.i chose the word lover specifically to mirror my interpretation of the word used in MY context and not Born Riches’!!I choose my words rather carefully but in this case i must appreciate the possibility of readers of my contributions to mis-interpret them, and offer much appreciated corrections !!When i mean a sex partner..i will say SEX PARTNER and i’m unlikely to confuse it with lover.

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  114. #118,Original Pundit, Thanks for your well articulated thoughts. I must say that you have put them nicely and i will leave it at that.

    But having said that, i wish to state that my thoughts on “Love and Friendship” are emboldied in the following statement:
    In the true sense of the word, LOVE IS FRIENDSHIP SET ON FIRE. Lovers are (should) therefore be friends “set on fire”!!!

    A friend is likely to be someone with whom we share common interests, good times, a ‘special higher’ connection, and trust. A mate(lover) SHOULD BE as well !!! If not, what would be the point?

    According to Dr. Judy Kuriansky, sex therapist and best-selling author,:
    “Not only can lovers be friends, but lovers should be friends. If not, they might share intense passion and physical attraction, but have no friendship to carry them through the rest of their relationship. Above and beyond a sexual partner, you need a friend— a confidant, a person who will be there for you in an emergency—to share your experiences, and to play out all the roles that a healthy relationship requires—sounding board, support system, workout buddy, travel partner, etc. Sure, romantic love is a wonderful thing. And sexual chemistry is electric. But friendship is the solid foundation that keeps the relationship together, even when romantic love and sexual attraction aren’t at their peaks (and they won’t always be). True friendship is crucial if love is going to last.”

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  115. Born Rich/Inonge,I’m sure you’ll agree you cannot be in “love” with someone ALL the time whilst in a relationship.In my view, that is where friendship takes over until the next bout of love returns.Relationships that find themselves in problems are when friendship is never there when it becomes void of love.I’ve always thought that is why it is important to be friends with the one you love becoz you fall back on it during the intermittent or seasonal “love drought” !! the greatest challenge is to mitigate the severity and frequency of the drought.It is during this drought men/women tend to “stray” and when found out, destroy the beautiful bond that at one time existed.

    Love Engineering is such a complex subject with more questions than answers!!

    Inonge(123), i didn’t mean to sound short with you and i apologise….you are a great cyber mate as well.

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  116. so is love like a drug that has a half life in the body.Where do you get the next dose from? Are you gentlemen/ladies confusing love with feelings? Love is constantly there regardless of how you feel.

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  117. Born Rich(126), lets not contest the presidency at the same time…….two similar manifestos will confuse the electorate !!!

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  118. Cece(127),love comes and goes and is dynamic hence alluring and much sought after !!It’s intensity varies day to day but friendship………..never changes !!!

    Please note there is an ***** impersonating me all over this site….take whatever he/she says with a pinch of salt.Most of you will be able to tell whether it is me or not anyway !!

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  119. is it the ***** or you The original pundit who is advocating love is a very instable substance.Love between two people is like a covalent bond very strong.Through valleys and mountains it is constant.

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  120. Cece(130), my point was merely to hightlight the dynamism of love which i understand to be one of the deepest emotion one can have for a another human being.I stand my ground in saying it is never constant but then again i am no expert….just humbly forwarding my opinion.

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  121. The Original Pundit (129)
    I beg to differ with you that “friendship………..never changes”

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  122. #127 cece
    I have been accused of putting words in the Original Pundit’s mouth but what i think the Original P is talking about is “love” in the “romance” sense. This, in my view cannot be deforced from “feelings”.

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  123. Ba Born Rich(132+133),i wouldn’t go as far as saying you were putting words in my mouth….i took your contribution as an illustration of YOUR understanding of what i had written,which is not a bad thing.Your interpretations made me think again about my opinions and i believe that is the greatest benefit of participating on public blogs.

    Friendship,Born Rich, never changes….it is either there or not whereas love fluctuates.Some mornings you just wake up,turn around and just really “love” the person next to you !!On these days i would send flowers and/or chocolate to my partner for no apparent reason.Some mornings i just think…” what am i doing with this person…isn’t there someone else who should be here?” On these days i am not in a “loving” mood but my partner is still my best friend !! For the last 10 years these two different emotions have made me happy about my choice and i have no regrets.It works for me…does it work for anyone else??

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  124. @ Born Rich

    “In truth, all lovers must be friends but not all friends are lovers. In reality, this is only as true as we make it. And that is our challenge.”

    Wise statement indeed!

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  125. Fiancee dumps Max
    By Katwishi Bwalya and Joseph Mwenda
    Wednesday September 19, 2007 Print Article Email Article

    ZAMBIA’S Big Brother Africa 2 housemate Maxwell Chongo has been dumped by his fiancée, Suli Sinkala, for what she terms his foolish behaviour while in the House.

    And Maxwell, who arrived in Lusaka yesterday, said he would miss South Africa ‘s Lerato and Ghana ‘s Kwaku in the Big Brother House.

    Suli confirmed in an interview with The Post that she had dumped Maxwell.

    Suli was earlier invited by Big Brother to attend Max’s eviction ceremony last Sunday but shunned the event and was conspicuously absent from at the airport yesterday.

    “I don’t want anything to do with Max because his relationship with Lerato has spoiled everything that was between us,” Suli said.

    “I can confirm to you that I am Max’s ex-girlfriend or fiancée and that whatever was between us is over and when I come to Lusaka I will find time to tell his mother who also I’m sure is disappointed with his behaviour.”

    She said Max knew whatever he was doing while in the Big Brother house and wondered what explanation he could give her to justify his actions.

    “He slept with Lerato (South African housemate) in his sober state and how do take that as a lady? Fine, when he first kissed her I did not get offended because I knew it was a game hopping things would not go the way things went but it will be foolish of him to justify why he embarrassed himself by sleeping with Lerato,” she said.

    Suli disclosed that she was against Max’s idea of going into the Big Brother House because she was aware of the repercussions.

    “When he told me that he was chosen to represent Zambia in the Big Brother House I was against that Idea. But because he loved the game, I had no option but to support him. But this is what I get in return,” Suli said.

    “Let me tell you this, if Max loved me he was not going to sleep with that girl. He never mentioned my name in the house, he completely forgot about me and then what will people think of me? Fine, it was a game but there are other people’s feelings involved.

    “There is no turning point for me because I have gone through a lot while he was sleeping around in that house. It’s time for me to move on. As you know I am doing a degree programme so I want to concentrate on my studies. The four years we have been together is enough.

    “I will not be there at the airport not even at his party because I have told you that I don’t want anything to do with Max because it is over between the two of us,” Suli said.

    And speaking to an M-net television crew shortly after arriving aboard a South African airline, Maxwell said he was glad to be back home.

    “It feels great to be home and see my people, I can’t remember the last time I saw a car. I can’t remember the last time I saw 50 people and I lost track of date and time,” said Maxwell.

    However, no fans were at the airport to welcome Maxwell.

    Only his sisters and brother were on hand to welcome him at the airport.
    Max, who looked excited, when asked what he would miss most from the BBA house, Maxwell said, “I Miss Baby! I miss Lerato and I miss Kwaku,” he said.

    Maxwell expressed hope that Lerato would be the last to leave the house.
    “It’s tricky now, because after I left the house, the house mates were in two camps so if Lerato doesn’t make it, I see Maureen winning,” Maxwell said.

    He also said he wanted to join an NGO that supported the fight against HIV/AIDS.
    “I want to join an NGO and spend time in fighting AIDS, sexual abuse at places of work and child labour,” he said.

    Maxwell was evicted last Sunday after 12 countries voted against him.

    Eight housemates from Zimbabwe , Ghana , Nigeria , Angola , Tanzania , Uganda , Malawi and South Africa remain in the house. the show ends on November 11.

    Maxwell is the fourth housemate to be evicted after Botswana ’s Justice , Kenya ’s Jeff and Namibia ’s Meryl.

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  126. #134 The Original Pundit
    Apart from ENERGY the only other thing that never changes is CHANGE! (Energy, here is not limited to the grade 5 textbook definition!!)

    To put this in the words of a wise person i know, CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT.

    To say that “friendship never changes” is denial of the highest order. It is a statement devorced from reality.

    It would not be wrong to say that our discussion of Love vs Friendship is at the level of “Feelings”. This is the reason why you have said that “some mornings you just wake up,turn around and just really “love” the person next to you”. You have further gone on to say that there are days when you wonder what in the world you are doing your partner. I assume this is the time when “love feeling” is not there. (What you should tell us is whether your partner can be said to be you lover during these time!)

    Friendship, has to do with “companionship”, “fondness”, feelings of “liking the other someone”. You mean to tell me that these feelings cannot change? Goodness me!!! These, my friend can also change, just the way a lilly sprouts one morning and dries in the afternoon!!!

    However, that does not mean that the friendship has ended between the two people. In the same way one would not always feel the same for his/her spouse/partner. These are feelings. They are fickle.

    Long lasting relationships are build on more fundermental causes. In truth, feelings are an Effect, rather than a Cause of lasting relationships. This includes “Friendships” and “Love Realationships”.

    #135.Anonymous
    Thank you for your very kind words.

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  127. Born Rich(139),i acknowledge with renewed interest your comments.Not a simple subject to find consensus!!
    I still maintain that the very foundations of a friendship never change……which obviously means you and i should agree to disagree on this particular aspect of the ongoing thread.

    I look forward to another thread and the opportunity to dissect it with you.Cheers !!

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  128. The Original Pundit(140), you are truly original. It has been nice “talking” to you and i have learnt 1 or 2 things. I think that is the most important things from our discussion.

    For now, i am off to the sports page. There, it is easy to reach a consensus!!

    Cheers and shalom!!!

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  129. $125 original P apology accepted.I’ve enjoyed your back and forth conversation with born rich!
    #137 pelete I’m not fond of copy and paste bloggers but it did make an interesting and somewhat shallow read. I don’t watch big brother.But that woman Suli has all the right to be mad.What gives her fiance Max the right to sleep(you mean he actually did that on live tv?) with another woman.I guess their love/frienship wasnt strong enough to withstand that test.Is it possible to find a man who will keep his zip on at a time when it counts?

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  130. Hey Inonge(142),one has to question the type of person who applies to go on BB!!Suli did well and Max just showed the depth of his devotion to her.If he had won would she have reacted the same?? Max got exactly what he deserved.Relationships developed within BB are never real nor do they last(Chantelle and Preston as a case in point)The BB house is a high pressure and abnormal environment with carefully chosen housemates who are selected to entertain the viewing public.BB has psychologists specifically choosing mentally and emotionally UNBALANCED characters to guarantee entertainment.BB Uk banned sex between h/mates and kept nudity to an absolute minimum..the end result was the lowest number of viewers ever.This says alot about society who i believe are natural voyeurs…quite sad i must say! there ARE men out there who respect themselves and their families and keep their zippers up no matter what the temptation is,but these men are never found on stupid programs like BB, maybe on LT?

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  131. In fact they lucky they chose Max. If it were me all the ladies would be pregnant by now. How do you put adults with sexual feelings in a place where there is no other entertainment apart from some thought out routines and chatting and expect them not to get attracted to each other. Its like jumping out of the window and expecting to go up.

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  132. Ba Free Fall(144),”all the ladies would be pregnant ” !!! Wena..what about condoms ?? You want to Free Fall into an early grave??

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  133. Ba Original pundit thank you for admitting that you would also react like I would except you would use condoms. Not so much of a difference. What do you think?

    I don’t know why humans become a pretending lot when it comes to issues of sex. You will find ministers criticizing bikinis by some models in Zambia but they watch baywatch or fashion tv every day on m-net. My view is this: Its not necessary to tempt yourself by going into that house and hoping you wont do what Max did. The best is not to go into that house. Thats how you fight temptations. Therefore, I don’t blame max for doing what he did in the house but for going in the house because that was an easier temptation to fight.

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  134. condoms are the worst invention man has ever made.Its better not to have sex than use them.they just make you crave the real deal!

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  135. Free Fall(146), when i asked about condoms it was an expression of shock that anybody would be considering skin-to-skin with multiple partners whom they have only just met on a stupid show!! Thinking of multiple partners at all is strange given the noises about disease etc.!!!
    Max wasn’t tempting fate….he didn’t seriously think about the possibility of sexual tensions developing…he was focussed on just winning….but like many good plans…things went wrong!! Max is a weak character and just couldn’t handle it!!

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  136. Inonge … can you give me some stats…You sound like a good girl may be we can get to know each other.

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  137. well, ordinary dude, separated … 6’1 195 physically fit. i’m looking for someone with moderate temporament.

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  138. Inonge.. What do you mean deja vu? I hope you are not trying to form an opinion based a honest disclosure. So how do i contact you?

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  139. What i meant was – been there,done that, have the t-shirt,the cap and the mug(for entangling myself with a separated dude).however I appreciate your honesty.That info is not usually disclosed early. my number is (854) 877-6514.

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  140. okey chani nakunfwila uluse! thats not my number!I know you know i’m not daft enough to put my contact details on the world wide web!just incase you are in chamboli and are using your celtel mobile phone,with the $20 top up,please mwipwisha credit!

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  141. inonge… i seriously want to get to know you. by the way i’m in the states and my cell is on a contract plan. in short i can afford to call you. give me your email an d i will contact you.

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  142. Inonge(159),give the guy a break.the contract phone is a minor monthly direct debit payment and shows he can at least pass a credit referencing check !!!ask him if the tariff came with a free handset….what handset is it ?? A mans class is mirrored by the car/phone and cologne he prefers and has !!!

    I’m sure you can tell…….i’m so tickled !!!!

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  143. original pundit whats your problem,you contact him if you like.I see whom I please.You don’t tell me who I see or not.I ‘m not shallow enough to judge a man based on his cell phone! Neither am I shallow enough to give someone my details online.
    chani I’m not interested.

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  144. Inonge(162), i was just joking…don’t bite my head off !!Your answer to him has been decisive and hopefully it puts the matter to rest.I was just so amused at the whole thing. A good giggle is good for the soul !! If there is one thing i DO know about you is that you are not shallow!! Friends again ??

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  145. you were playing reverse psychology on me? What am I,your cyber-guinea pig? I was just stalling the guy and trying to see what kind of a person he was. You are very possessive you know that.You chaps are all the same.

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  146. Inonge…I’m sorry ,if i caused you and pundit to start fighting. Pundit i think you should let the lady decide for herself what she wants to do. I dont think anyone likes to be told what to do more especially on the issues of the heart.

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  147. #165 inonge
    Enough!! If you can not believe that the Original Pundit was just joking, why do you want us to believe that you were not serious about Chani Chandala?
    Give us a break!!

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  148. Inonge(165), i’ve been called alot of things before, but possesive is indeed a first!! I was of the opinion that being posessive was an desired trait in men ?? Have i been talking to the wrong type of women ??

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  149. hey chani its fine. I was just trying to get you to say more,you are a man of few words its difficult to figure you out!
    Born rich define joke! You will never know if I was serious or not about chani will you?,maybe we are deep in correspondence this instant!

    Free fall now thats a good joke ha ha ha

    Original P well I’m glad to be the pioneer of your latest attribute.Its just like chani said no-one likes to be told what to do.Admit it you were playing reverse psychology on me and it worked.Happy?

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  150. Inonge(171),i’m still protesting my innocence!!I am definitely appealing against the “guilty as charged” verdict!!has anybody got the number for OJ’s lawyer??hehehehe!!
    Any comments on the contribution by Anonymous(170) ??

    ps. i loved the term “…..deep in correspondence”!!

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  151. Nay guilty as charged! You looking for Johnie Cochran? He died, man.You don’t stand a chance to be acquitted.As for #170 I donno what he/she means.Its probably a HE.I’m beginning to feel outnumbered here with all you guys ganging up on me.Well I can be receptive alright but not receptive to crap!My weakness is I give people a benefit of a doubt but once the grace period is over I don’t tolerate nonsense.
    Oh you liked the term’deep in corespondence’ you can use it to chaff your woman.But be careful how you use it she may be offended and I will bear no responsibility for whatever injury is incurred!

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  152. Inonge(173), good grief…Johnnie died !!! I’ve just about finished reading ” Who Killed JFK ” and now you are telling me i have another bloody novel to read…..”Who Killed Johnnie??” hehehehehehe!!!!
    Giving people enough rope to hang themselves is admirable and yes….don’t take crap from no-one!!
    As for chuffing….i’ve been out of THAT game for years.I’m quite happy in retirement!!

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  153. Born rich I debated with myself whether to dignify your question with an answer.But I’ll give you the benefit of a doubt.Maybe you’re a geek and genuinely want to know the interface.Its U.S.B.

    Original read fast because OJ is in trouble again.What retirement?Men never retire.I know a 78yr old man who is quite a charmer.How old are you?By the way I’m still waiting for an apology.

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  154. Inonge… Your response to rather anoying questions suggest you are a very sorber minded person. you respond like a diplomat. Non commital yet effective. I wonder what happened between you and Chani. I must say i’m impressed with the way you are handling these men. ocourse knowing that Z is a man centered society. keep it up and i hope one day you will choose to go and contribute possitively to the development of Z. We need people like you.

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  155. #176. inonge
    That was humourous.
    I am a computer geek so USB interface makes alot of sense to me. The beauty of this interface is that one can use it to plug in quite a number of peripherals. I wish you well. Peace.

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  156. #177 socrates thank you so much, if it wasn’t for my dark african skin you would notice me blushing!I hope one day I can contribute to zambia however its politics,the bureaucracy and lack of appreciation for intellectuals drove me away.But home is home.

    #178 Born Rich you geek,you are welcome.Peace to you too.

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  157. Inonge(176),the new case against OJ is just victimisation..America has never quite got over his acquittal.Age being just a number, puts me now at **!!the asterisks are an invitation to guess!!Inonge, i have retired and focus my energies on other areas of human endeavour.In short..been there,done it all and got the t-shirt!!
    I detect an element of homesickness in your last posting.Being away from home is indeed tough and not as rosy as many people make it out to be!!

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  158. Don’t believe you.Unless you are Gay you haven’t retired.Its not over till the fat lady sings! Whats your age band? What were doing when Michael Jacksons song “thriller” came out?

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  159. Inonge(181),why is it that people just cannot accept certain things.It is easier for you to believe i’m “still in the game” than it is, that i’m not.It’s terrible that people think the worst of their neighbour well before any benefit of doubt is given!! Anyway,Inonge,the fat lady has been singing my tune for quite a while now!! I was old enough to walk into HMV and buy the vinyl album when it came out…does that help?

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  160. Its not thinking the worst as long as you a still warm blooded you are still in the game.You must be old coz I’ve no clue what you are talking about.Now uncle pundit you chased my new friend Chani away.Ninshi kanshi?

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  161. HMV…His Masters Voice…a music/movie mega-store!!If Chani is gone, it says alot about how serious he was.Persistence always yields some form of result..I once coined it the ” Constant Pressure Theory !!” and it never fails !!.Not to worry Inonge,I’m not that old.By virtue of growing up and being close to my elder brothers and sisters i have a rather more mature disposition and the way i write doesn’t help matters either.I don’t quite think the grand title of Uncle applies to me.Didn’t Chani give you his number or email address ?? call/email him, who knows what may come of it! The thread on “Puppy Love” could do with your comment…check it out!!

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  162. Pundit, I’m not really gone no have i given up on Inonge. I believe you and i come from 2 different schools of thought. We are talking about matters of the heart. I have made it clear i’m interested in getting to know Inonge. She has my email. If her guts tells her not to respond, its her prerogative. If she chooses to communicate we will take it from their. There will no public romance on the blog everything from now on will be private. I hope you will respect that. I hope she will follow her heart.

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  163. Having gone through the postings of both Pundit and Inonge. I’ve noticed the change of tone. Are these impersonations? At least I’ve seen one thing now. There is no mixing of reality with fantasy. You never know maybe Chani is the man Inonge you’ve been looking for. Socrates is just right about you. Mama Z needs you.

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  164. Ba Chani(185), fair comment and good luck !
    Ba Gluco(186),the change of tone could have have been the subtle differences we had of opinion, or a very clever person has been impersonating Inonge!! I sincerely hope impersonators stay off these pages.

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  165. yeh maybe Chani is the man I’ve been looking for but he’s so secretive.People with nothing to hide,hide nothing. Have I missed his contributions in the other sections? Should I look in the sports page? You have to know what someone believes in, is passionate about etc.Here is my analysis of the few of you I know
    Gluco- very cautious and analytical.not easily fooled.
    Born Rich – philosopher and computer nerd
    OriginalP – wise mature guy, easy to talk to
    Easy – political chap
    Easy E – player, doesn’t understand women though
    bauze – intelligent guy
    socrates – political analyst dude, loves the motherland
    chani – tall slim dude ….profile pending

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  166. Inonge(188), you are right on the money for most of those you have described.Whenever i see a posting by Socrates i sit up and concentrate…he has a unique way of putting forward ideas which i must confess, are a very good read.Its amazing how a persons character is mirrored in the way they write!!

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  167. ha ha ha!Oui a persons character is amazingly mirrored by the way they write.If I mixed some of you guys up in a “pot” what a perfect dude I’ld come up with!

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  168. you got that right girl !!Finding the perfect dude is half the battle won……it’s what to do with him that presents all sorts of challenges !!!(God, I’m so tickled !!)

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  169. I’m humbled by you guys, thanks for the complement. i’m a very political person, but i have learnt not to be crowded by simple issues but constantly remind myself of what is important. I like divent views presented by most folks in this blog. but paramount to what we think is right is our ability as individuals to open our selves to new ideas that may be of benefit. We dont have that many female bloggers here. I have noticed with disbelief how a simple disagreement between 2 guys has exploded into a full fleged war. I also noticed how Inonge has managed to deal with questions that would ordinarily upset someone with atmost composure. I said to myself, That is the kind of woman we need in politics back home. Keep it up. I hope one day i will be blessed with an opportunity of meeting the likes of Pundit,Inonge ,Easy, Gluco etc. Chani is a man of few words… He said he wanted a private conversation???? i wonder if these 2 will ever meet.

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  170. I like the fact you are open to new ideas Socrates. Thats a childlike trait us, as adults have to retrain ourselves to acquire. We tend to always think we are right and the other person wrong. I guess we should ask ourselves “what if I’m wrong?” Socrates of Athens repeatedly told his followers ” One thing only I know, and that is I know nothing”. Food for thought hey?

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  171. Inonge(193), continue to shock me and tell me you have an interest in Greek philosophy!!

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  172. Ka Inonge Mwaiche wansebanya. You think am a player and I don’t understand women? Well, on the first one I will agree with you partially and wholly on the second one.

    Just as the Original Pundit put it, that its amazing how our characters are mirrored by the way we write, the converse is also true. Some of us are capable of producing different characters on the same issue. I will look at an issue and look at what most contributors are saying, then to keep the fire burning I would oppose. One person on this blog thought I was married because of the way I was coming out. Others thought I was in a frustrating relationship. But you will be surprised none of these were close to the truth. And I will tell u what guys, I actually get flattered that I can play a character and people believe am that character. It makes me think I would pursue an alternative career in movie acting.

    Because of the way I can change characters, and on that alone, I would agree with you that am a player because I have the ability to make people believe what am not.

    As for me not understanding women, well, my dear Inonge, no man understands women and the reason is simple, women are emotional beings while men are logical beings. If you seem to be getting along well with you fella, don’t think he understands you he just tolerates you. No man would understand a being that wants them to always be home but at the same time be making enough money for the family? Logically this is impossible but emotionally it’s tolerable.

    I log off [That’s how we say bye to a social network friend]

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  173. Inonge Interesting…That makes the two of us. Pundit, whats facinating about the greek philosophers and civilization is that i cant imagin what our people in africa where doing in 430 BC. except egypt of course. but i think we where still living in trees, yet across the mediterenian where that advanced on thinking and way of life. Do you guys know that Socrates never wrote any literature on his philosophical idealogy. everything we know about Socrates is what Plato has said in reference to what Socrates tought him. What is facinationg is how a great mind like socrates would declare that they know nothing.

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  174. Socrates(197),your humility is tear jerking stuff!!What a breath of fresh air on LT!!Socrates, be reminded of how shocked the British and Dutch were when they landed on the Cape….they found that “these apparent savages had a system of local government similar to that in continental Europe !!” Despite our love of trees we were a sophisticated and orderly society.Unfortunately we have had that part of our heritage “written out” of what is considered modern day history!! Quite a shame really!!

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  175. #197. I great mind like this could declare that he knew nothing because he understood that “True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us”. By the way, this is another of socrates’ sayings!!

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  176. #196 easy e ah welcome back. You should pursue that hollywood position! You sure make me laugh! So you mean my male friends tolerate me? Yet when we start losing that femininity you guys find us hard,callous and unattractive. Wouldn’t you get suspicious if your woman couldn’t wait for you to leave home? That sweet ” honey come home quickly” I’m sure gives you palpitations knowing your loved one is waiting for you.
    Easy e you will be pleased to know I’m now into skirts and have gotten positive response even though its just my girlfriends commenting!

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  177. The O.P, I haven’t seen that, what is it about? Am not so much into movies. My problem is I was told at a very tender age that a movie is not real but acting. I therefore developed interest in real things like sport and not movies. Don’t get me wrong, I like comedy tho.

    Inonge, its good you now into skirts. Am sure the number of male heads turning when you pass is exponentially increasing. Am also happy to be the first man to comment on the skirts. Would you paint a picture in words for us on how you looking now.

    On a lighter note, tell us what else you now into that goes with skirts?

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  178. easy e you are funny.You know, I wonder why you call me mwaice at times?? For once I’m like you in a regard, I’m not much of a movie person( though I did see The Saint) I like comedies too.
    Well with the skirts go some flattering tops, some showing a little bit of cleavage(just a bit).I think I’m doing fine don’t you?
    original P what did you want to highlight about the saint? I’m not even sure if I watched the whole movie!

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  179. Inonge(203)+ EasyE(202),Simon Templar(Val Kilmer) is a man of many identities.When i read Easy E’s post (196) a particular statement in it reminded me of The Saint !! I quote the particular comment:”Some of us are capable of producing different characters on the same issue” !!!
    The Saint is worth watching!!

    Flattering tops…..cleavage…..wow !!There isn’t enough space to describe the picture that just flashed through my mind !! You go girl….and knock them dead !!

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  180. I hear you, the O.P. I should set out to watch this movie. I would therefore need some contributions from you guys on the blog so I can raise enough money for the movie at arcades. You can send your contributions to my National Savings and Credit bank account though I cant remember the account number if at all their accounts have numbers. So if you happen to pass by my bank, you can just give the guard who sits by the door side and he will be giving you deposit slips. I will latter collect from him. Don’t worry about the excess we will use it to get Inonge some more skirts.

    Inonge, so far so good especially with some cleavage showing, we are surely getting there. Lets just work on the amount of cleavage showing. I think there, we still have some work to do. A bit is not enough for me. I don’t know about O.P. We need more cleavage and the more the better. There is no overdose there. We also need to know whether its short skirts or long ones before we raise our hopes too high. We prefer short ones as long as they are not so short one can mistake them for a big belt. We would also appreciate some more details like the designer bra, is it Prada or Gucci etc, the type of undies is it nappies or g’s and lingerie. So far am impressed with the work done am sure if we knock off the latest queries we should be headed for Miss World.

    About me calling you mwaiche don’t worry. It’s a strategy I use to chaff women because I know all women want to feel younger so your first step as a player (remember) is to make her feel younger and I think it worked coz you asked.

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  181. #205
    Yangu!! Goodness me!!

    You mean a guy can make a lady feel younger even when she looks like his great granny? These girls, how do they achieve such incredible metamophosis? You mean just by chaffing them?

    Ooooh!!!!….Now i understand. Allow me to relate to you a book i read. The title is “WHY GROW OLD?”. It is the kind of book one would call phylosophical. It is by the man Orison Swett Marden ( Copyright © 1909). A very great thinker. Here is the part i like.

    “A few years ago the London Lancet, the highest medical authority in the world, gave a splendid illustration of the power of the mind to keep the body young. A young woman, deserted by her lover, became insane. She lost all consciousness of the passing of time. She believed her lover would return, and for years she stood daily before her window watching for him. When over seventy years of age, some Americans, including physicians, who saw her, thought she was not over twenty. She did not have a single gray hair, and no wrinkles or other signs of age were visible. Her skin was as fair and smooth as a young girl’s. She did not age because she believed she was still a girl. She did not count her birthdays or worry because she was getting along in years. She was thoroughly convinced that she was still living in the very time that her lover left her. This mental belief controlled her physical condition. She was just as old as she thought she was. Her conviction out-pictured itself in her body and kept it youthful.”

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  182. Hmmm the mind is powerful aint it! Fancy being 70 and looking 20! I guess the players know what they are doing when they call us mwaiche.
    Now Easy E you don’t want me competing with the breastfeeding mothers at soweto market do you! Don’t give the dog the whole bone give him abit he will keep pursueing you for more.Isn’t that how players do it?
    The only string I’m wearing is a necklace- sorry! I wear belts at home and skirts just above the knee at work. We don’t want Patel in the next office failing to work.He’s already confused with my new wardrobe!

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  183. Easy E, there comes a time when a women needs to be reminded that she is like fine wine…..it gets better with age !!From the following quote from your post (205):”About me calling you mwaiche don’t worry. It’s a strategy I use to chaff women because I know all women want to feel younger so your first step as a player (remember) is to make her feel younger ”
    Easy E from this i gather you have yet to have the experience of “chuffing” an older woman than yourself.Older women do not like to be patronized and if you use that strategy you are likely to never “score” the much sought after hat trick with the older members of your community !!! hahahahaha!!!
    Your “thirst” for details of a ladies underwear is worrying…..in some countries you may be put on a watch list !!

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  184. I think the excerpt that Born Rich (206) shared with us vindicates me. It’s not my intention to exaggerate but because when we talk about women in general, we are talking about a very large number of people. And when dealing with such volumes, think it’s only prudent and acceptable to exaggerate. The O.P, you could be talking about specific women here, who would feel patronized by someone insinuating or intimating that they are young. But when I said that to Inonge, I was exaggerating women’s behavior, that is I was generalizing.

    To the contrary the O.P, women find solace, security and comfort in a mature man. But because they place an intimate relationship between maturity and age, it is difficult to make them believe that you can be mature yet younger than them. In fact you will be surprised that I have scored much success with older women when I make them believe (mark the word believe) that am older than them and in essence more mature. Making a woman believe you older than her is your door to her heart. This is because most women marry maturity to age. Am yet to meet a woman who would open up to me after making her feel she is older than me.

    Making a woman believe she is younger than you doesn’t mean you showing her your NRC, no. It’s all about how you handle her. Women easily believe, why do you think Jesus first appeared to women when he rose from the dead? Remember the questions he had to answer from the men to make them believe he had risen.

    Yes there are a few women out there, who would be chaffed by telling them that they are like fine wine but I think most of them given an opportunity, would prefer to be just wine and not the finest wine.

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  185. Born Rich(210)

    Men never ask for directions.How true is that?

    EasyE(209), you have a point a view that is very difficult to argue with but easy to disagree with!!
    i will find time to respond accordingly…..gotta run for now !!

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  186. Born, if men never ask for directions and woman can’t read maps how does a man and his wife get to their intended destination. May be you are talking about the pride men exhibit often times when they are driving with their spouse and they are lost, we usually don’t admit that we are lost. Unfortunately this behavior is replicated in everything we do as men involving woman. Part of it is cultural the rest of it arrogance which affects relationships negatively. Woman can’t read maps… it just exhibits the culture of dependency that African woman have been brought up in. I know this has changed a lot. Men’s arrogance and women’s dependence that you may have pointed out consciously are the 2 major huddles that African couple in Diaspora has to deal with or kiss their marriage good bye. Woman becomes more and more independent and man fights this independence because at first sight it’s like a man is powerless and there is nothing he can do about the whole change of scene. We are kings back home . But we lose control of our families and especially our wives. They use to respect us but we feel they don’t anymore. A man realizes that he can no longer talk to his woman the way he did back home. He cannot even lay his hands on her. Worse still she decides when to have sex. I have watched these trends with keen interest. Half the time it takes men too long to realize that they are in Dallas and not Kalingalinga. By the time they do it’s too late. Woman also can’t handle the new found freedom, it gets to their heads and they over do it. There are very few African men born and raised in Africa who can give up their kinsman ship and start cooking and changing diapers. Its UN heard off if your mom visited you and she finds you changing diapers, she would have a heart attack. So how do we mitigate these drastic changes that couples from Africa face when they land on planet USA, where there is no man or woman, we are all equal in Uncle Sam’s eyes.

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  187. #212 Socrates,
    There was a research done at the University of Califonia, Irvine and the University of New Mexico to find out why many women (not all) have trouble reading maps.

    It was discovered that Men use more Gray Matter than women while women use More White Matter than men. Gray Matter is central to procesing information and plays a vital role in aiding skills such as mathematics, map-reading, and intellectual thought. White Matter connects the brain’s procesing centres and is central t

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  188. White Matter connects the brain’s procesing centres and is central to emotional thinking, use of language and the ability to do more than one thing at once.It was however emphasized that while the two genders may think differently, this does not affect their intellectual perfomance or overall intelligence!!

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  189. #211 The Original Pundit
    Men never ask for directions because “MEN are NEVER lost”. They understand that they have not just gotten there yet!!!! haaaaa!! haaaaaa!! haaaaa!!

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  190. just thought i would share this !!
    The Guys’ Rules——————-

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    finally, the guys’ side of the story.

    (I must admit, it’s pretty good.)

    We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!

    Please note… these are all numbered ‘1’ ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

    You’re a big gir

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  191. Learn to work the toilet seat.

    You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.

    We need it up, you need it down.

    You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down
    Shopping is NOT a sport.

    And no, we are never going to think of it that way
    Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.

    Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work!

    Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s

    what we do.

    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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  192. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

    done.

    Not both.

    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

    commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

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  193. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

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  194. Born Rich, these are such dangerous comments likely to shorten the existence of men on this planet !!!!

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  195. interesting!firstly women can read maps…eventually. just be patient with us.This asking for directions thing is like ingrained in mens dna.I don’t know whats so difficult about stopping the car and asking a passerby for directions!
    You are not mind readers hey and you don’t like hints? Interesting! You know it buffles me why God made us so different.We want a guy who will listen when we share problems(we don’t want solutions).We want that big chest or shoulder to cry on(its not blackmail).

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  196. socrates#212 there are roles for men and women.When either stops fulfilling their roles whether in dallas or kalingalinga it brings problems.I have a friend whose husband just sits at home while she works.Sometimes guys also lose it when they leave zed.Being abroad does change dynamics, you can’t hire maids,you don’t have family around,you don’t know and don’t trust your neighbors so couples need to adjust to these situations meaning guys as long as your mum isn’t visiting change those diapers.

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  197. #223. inonge

    What draws us together are our differences. Lets celebrate them. To a greater extent, our ‘differences’ are the foundation for our survival.

    The same principle at work in “ECOLOGY” is at work in human relations, for “ALL LIFE IS ONE”.

    In ignorance, we thought we could bring down trees anyhow or emit bad gases without affecting our envrnment. But now we know better. NATURAL LAW IS JUST. We don’t live in a vacuum. We are part of the Great Whole.

    Long Live The Human Race!!

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  198. Its the differences between the two species that make man-woman interaction a source of great joy and sorrow !!! I have great problems( with no apologies ) with man-man or woman-woman interactions…..God made Adam and Eve and NOT Adam and Steve !!!

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  199. I believe how we behave as men has everything to do with cognitive behavior that we have picked up based on the people we meet and places we have been. A man in Z is brought up as a king he does not get involved in domestic work period. That includes raising your children. For those of us in our 30s and 40s. do you remember your dad bathing you or even helping you with school work?. On the other side of the pacific men do the cooking and intrinsically at the center of running a home. ctn

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  200. . i remember when I was a teen . when my dad found me in the kitchen this is what he used to say “nga bankashi yobe bakweba at kumba mu bwali wifulwa” He used to insist a kitchen is no place for a man. Even after a meal as boys we were not supposed to touch the dishes. Now the white folks are brought up that way . In home there is no man or woman. All of my white friends do the cooking in their homes. So we can blame it on DNA but that is not true. My first encounter with dishes was when I gra

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  201. My first encounter with dishes was when I graduated from college and I had to live by myself. It’s not easy as a Zambian man to adjust but we ought to make a deliberate effort .

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  202. I feel you Socrates…..fortunately my late parents insisted we had equal responsibility around the house.Their excuse was it would prepare us for the future……and it has !!!As a show of their belief in equal responsibility, every year from Dec1 to Dec31, we as children were at liberty to send our parents to do basic chores!!It was always exciting to “tell” Dad to bring me a beer from the fridge!!May their souls rest in peace!!

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  203. Am tempted to think that the Zambian or African situation is really a matrix of intricate elements which when put together brings out the Zambian man as we know him today.

    These elements span from our own culture through westernization all the way to poverty levels. Therefore in my opinion, a typical Zambian man is a compromise of these three main elements amidst many other which would be too numerous to mention here.

    As a Zambian man today you would sill have cultural values that were inc

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  204. Am tempted to think that the Zambian or African situation is really a matrix of intricate elements which when put together brings out the Zambian man as we know him today.

    These elements span from our own culture through westernization all the way to poverty levels. Therefore in my opinion, a typical Zambian man is a compromise of these three main elements amidst many other which would be too numerous to mention here.

    As a Zambian man today you would sill have cultural values that were inculca

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  205. Am tempted to think that the Zambian or African situation is really a matrix of intricate elements which when put together brings out the Zambian man as we know him today.

    These elements span from our own culture through westernization all the way to poverty levels. Therefore in my opinion, a typical Zambian man is a compromise of these three main elements amidst many other which would be too numerous to mention here.

    cnt.

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  206. As a Zambian man today you would sill have cultural values that were inculcated into you when you were growing up. But let’s not forget that you came through a westernized education system. If you are married chances are that to some extent your marriage ceremony (wedding) was more than 80% westernized.

    It is therefore vivid that westernization hits us hard.

    cnt.

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  207. On the other hand are the poverty levels we have in our country. It’s really sad because this is one big problem with far reaching consequences. In my opinion, this is one element that is at the helm of all of these elements. You see, it’s difficult to be principled, uncorrupt, intelligent, loving, caring and all those attributes society perceives as good attributes if you cant meet the basic basics. We know of politicians in western countries who would resign on moral grounds,

    cnt

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  208. something we are yet to see in Africa. Why? These guys can resign because to them even if they lose the job, food won’t be something to worry about.

    Coming back home, to a Zambian man it’s more important to make money than attend to family because we have seen what poverty does if you have no money. Because you have once suffered, you want to make as much as possible while you can so that even your future is catered for.

    cnt

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  209. You are not making money for your immediate family alone but for your parents, your wife’s parents, your cousins, uncles, aunties, nephews, nieces, the list is endless.

    I understand Zambian men, it’s not easy.

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  210. #228 Socrates
    What about this public grovelling that our Defence Minister has been pictured exhibiting twice before the President. We believe Mpombo has grown up entirely in Zambia where men have been brought up as Kings. Is his cognitive behave normal or is it a question of a split personality when he has to exhibit a totally different kingly attitude at home with his wife. And Bo Inonge how do women view or appreciate such actvity intheir man?

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  211. #238 sorry didn’t see what you were refering to. Looking for old news in the post is a nightmare.I saw 1st pic though.Its typical cadre boctlicking aint it?That does impress any woman.

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  212. #239 inonge #238 TULO UWALALIKA NABACHENJELA

    That picture in The POST is an exhibition of “common sence” on the part of Hon. Mpondo. It has nothing to do with bootlicking and anything of that sort.

    It is called “good posture”!! Tell me, how do position yourself[your body] when a person who is sitting down [in this case the President] wants to wisper to your ears? You keep standing? Lets not be too harsh on the man.

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  213. Born rich why does our president always want to whisper to his ministers, especially when he is perched on a cosy sofa? don’t the have meetings before they face the public? Is it a sign that our president is a poor planner? anyway you know me and politics don’t mix! I rest my case!

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  214. Inonge, whats the latest on the doc? Interesting discussion. Naisangila pakati, I must admit, so dowana give any comment now. But its interesting.

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  215. The fact that man was created first,which has no bases is so misleading.Otherwise men and women should all be bread winners.
    No misusing or using each other.Vintu bwa…………….????

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  216. Bigups to all working and independent women!!Gals lets continue being breadwinners..There are so many circumstances that occur and you might just remain stranded if youre not carefull..Think of what would happen in the event of your husband’s death,divorce or he loses his job…Lets be careful and organise ourselves we dont have to be caught unawares..

    Keep on Keeping On Gals!!

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  217. #247 mutino,oh I had to end things with the doc, as I’m sure you read that our relationship was becoming complex.Good news though! I met a stunning guy towards the end of last year and I’m cautiously optimistic.

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  218. Hi, Inonge,
    I am a lady in zed and I like your sense of humour. Its a pity this is a public bloc, I would like to know you. It would be nice to have a female friend like you to just laugh and talk about life like that.

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  219. hi me,Thanx for your words! How is zed?I tell you I really miss chatting and laughing with a fellow zambian woman.Its not quite the same when you are in the diaspora.Most of my friends are non zambian.Unless I travel miles and miles to meet up with the ladies in the zambian association.the last time I went, I was having a BAD hair day and didn’t think to put on my only chitenge outfit.So as soon as I walked in they looked at me like “ngaba!” Anyway so what are you up to?

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  220. Hi Inonge. Zed is fine, its just raining cats and dogs and that means floods are the topic of the day. Sad really!
    I can imagine how lonely it can get sometimes but hey I guess we all win some and lose some ai? Not up to anything much. Right now am at work and just took a ten minute breather to check this site and there was your reply! So like what happens at the Zambian association meeting? Speak all the vernacular you can and swap stories about Zed?
    Later!

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  221. hi me,I can’t imagine zambia having FLOODS.Is it this global warming thing?Yeh you can’t have it all.Its either you are lonely but in a beautiful place or you are with your family and friends and struggling to make ends meet!I don’t want to say too much about the association but I guess its a time to network with other zambians and hear the zambian gossip.It sometimes feels like I’m at a family braii in makeni with my aunties hounding me.But for sure zambian men like their beer it doesn’t matter whether they are back home or out here.

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  222. I was quiet shocked to discover that even some zambian celebrities can be porn actors. the most shocking and surprising a woman many people admire and great respect for turns out to be the worst of them all. in the name of performing to outside world or exporting the zambian talent someone goes on posing naked on stage with not even some underwear on. its very embarassing and shaming how low certain people can go for money.ANGELA NYIRENDA where are your morals and dignity as a person and a woman? you have brought shame to mother zambia and everyone who supports. please stop what you are doing if you ever get to read this comment.

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  223. I have seen that picture #255 is talking about and it is not REAL. It was just manufactured in a studio. Please Benjamin check your facts before criticizing people.

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  224. Getting back to the kitchen I wouldn’t mind being in the kitchen, and doing the (women) things that are traditional if my man would become modern while I am doing these things and rub my bon bon, milk my cows, stoke the fur and kiss and nibble the important parts instead of just getting on top and panting like a overheated hog until he is satisfied which only last 5 strokes. What wouldn’t I do for my man if he did the items mentioned above. I am liberated and own my own business.

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  225. So what did Shukafusha really comment about women? I have been trying to locate his verbatim excerpt but have failed – anyone to enlighten please?

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  226. Inonge!! you finally managed to secrete yourself out of Zed! I hope your insomnia is a thing of the past, in that you probably have found yourself with a lot at hand wherever you are. Which makes me inquistive, where about in the diaspora are you? take care for now!

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  227. I think certain women (I hope a few too) choose to stay in the kitchen. Some learn along the way that there is life other than the kitchen. Others are way past the kitchen almost heading out of the house….informed and liberated thats what I am talking about Baby!

    And afew just dont know any better…passed on traditions over and over and certain circles are not broken…

    Dont get me wrong..I value some ‘kitchen values’ but am waaaaaaaaaaaay past that room

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  228. # 4, who tells you that a man can not wash dishes, sweep the house, water the garden,wash clothes and press them???
    We as women are helpers according to Genesis. So do not overload us with work but we need to work togethr in the home.i wonder if you are married, if you are u must be a cruel and bad husband.

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  229. this Inonge girl thinks she is all that, talking like she is PLEASE, Guys let her send you a picture of herself, i bet you all will freak, some chic with no front teeth, her skin has ungone intense jaribu therapy and her legs knocked kwati kankuku with no feathers. please spare us lady. this is not zambia’s next top model.
    u sound really ridiculous hehehheh
    later guys

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  230. a woman’s place is in the kitchen just like i put my thing in her and not the other way round her place is in the kitchen. infact she should eat there just like in the olden days.
    when i come from work i want to find my meal cooked and a hot bath wiaitng for me. i make enough money to support 5 women with 6 growing children so money is not the issue.
    where you there when i got this far? stay in the kitchen where you belong. the living room is for my mistress when you are gone to dubai to buy your goods.
    martin, kabwe.

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  231. dear” ME” Inonge is just a straight up liar.
    I am a zambian half and half white living in baltimore maryland. its not like that here at all. There are alot of africans here nigerians and people from Ghana especially. Africans are all the same my dear, i mean our mentality. In zambia i was called colored, but my dear if you are not white you are black period and that’s that.
    If Inonge couldn’t find friends its because her ways let her be that way.For honest zambian i can hook you up with some my dear. inonge is a liar i agree with krazy.
    thankyou krazy for saying it like it is.

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  232. I am very discouraged when i read the comments of “krazy” and “Rachel”. You girls do not even have self respect. You come on the internet just to fight really.
    I live in Oklahoma, there very few black people that live here are african americans. I have to travel miles to attend parties just like ” INONGE”. I dont know her but i am experiencing the same thing she is going through.
    I am half zambian and half nigerian.I am now american.
    Baltimore is a straight up black town and we all know that.
    Please get extra jobs like your fellow immigrants are doing instead of sitting and taking the position of Judge that is unassigned.
    Have anything to say hola straight. I WILL TELL YOU LIKE IT IS.

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  233. dear”benjamin”. welcome to the real world. i am not supporting what angela does but i am telling you how it is over here in america.
    there are strip clubs everywhere. you have to be 18 to walk in and see naked ladies dancing for money. its everywhere here and alot of our zambian men that leave their wives, fiances, families in zambia come here and get hooked to pornography and whores on the internet.
    Its everywhere here my dear. I am a devoted christian, you know how we zambians are raised. But when i came here 13 yrs ago, i got the shock of my life. Its sad benjamin, very sad.

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  234. i destested the women being in a kitchen “nonsense” until i read a book called “the chalice and the blade”. this is one of the books that i believe inspired dan brown’s da vinci code. i actually read it after i had read the da vinci code. and WHEN I become madame president, the chalice and blade will definitely become required reading right from grade one to professorship.
    the book taught me to celebrate and honour the magic of difference between men and women, and since then, i am proud to say my place is in the kitchen,despite my being having a master’s degree. the pleasure of it all is that without my kitchen, a man is nothing. MEN you power comes fromt kitchen. LIKE IT OR NOT

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  235. As long as women are split between their legs, their place is in the kitchen. From the kitchen, to the bathroom. From the bathroom straight to the bedroom to open their legs for the man they cook for in rhe kitchen. This is REAL LOVE. Marriage is ALL ABOUT SWEET SEX. If the human rights people told you women about rights, they are lying. I am married to a human rights activist and when she is in my bedroom, she throws her legs on my command to protect her marriage. LIKE IT OR NOT, ALL WOMEN, I MEAN ALL, ALL WOMEN SAY ‘NO’ WHEN THEY MEAN ‘YES’and “YES” WHEN THEY MEAN “NO”
    IF POSSIBLE ALL WOMEN SHOULD BE MOVING NAKED in houses.

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  236. i think that God created women to be an helper to a man, not a slave or a cookie as some put it. let us focus on what is written in the bible. not adding or subtraction.

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  237. The man is the head of the house, yes I agree. But guess what women! you are the necks. The neck will twist that head in every direction it wants. Some of you need lessons on how to do this. Most women make their lives difficult. Learn to twist that neck!!
    Need lessons?

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  238. whats with the women these days.during the days of my grandfather women never used to whine like today

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  239. 274 is right ,without the sex women are really useless to use.its about time someone told them

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  240. You make a point from Gen.3:19 that since God speaks of work in relation to Adam it must mean God’s intention was only for Adam to work.But are you also aware that the same verse only talks of Adam returning to dust? Should that be interpreted only men will die? For the man to rule over the woman came as part of the curse Gen.3:16. It was not there in the beginning otherwise God would be being redundant here.Thank God christian women have been redeemed from any curse Gal3:13. Men can be all the taliban they want but it doesn’t make it right. “Your women should keep silent in the church…as the law says”1Cor.14:34. Question is,which law? There’s no such a verse in the entire Old Testament. Obviously Paul is not quoting from there. He wouldn’t be contrdicting what he said (Cont…

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  241. He wouldn’t be contradicting what he’d said earlier in 1Cor.11:5″Any woman who prays or prophesies (in public)…”The Old testament was male chauvenistic.Women did not go to school and schools taught scriptures not trade or life skills.Naturally they were scripturally illiterate and that’s why it was a wise practice for them to ask what were “stupid” questions of their husbands at home.”I commend to you Phoebe…a deacon…”The word deaconess is not in the Bible.They had no postal service back in the day.Paul sent a girl to carry this letter to the church at Rome.Part of such a person’s job was to explain and answer any questions arising from the teaching contained in the letter.Some of you guys could have been holding your noses because a girl was in charge.Men sat under her…

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  242. I find it in bad taste that LT blips a word that is not derogatory or profane from my submission above.I use that word in church all the time, what’s the matter here?

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  243. I do trust all the concepts you have introduced on your post. They are very convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for starters. May just you please extend them a little from next time? Thank you for the post.

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