Dear Jelita
Its been quite a long while since I heard from you. I’m much happier now and feel more settled here in Chicago.
As you know when I first came here I was so sad and felt terribly out of place. I tried to act happy and even copied the American accent so I’ld sound like a black American! I sounded so phony! Then one day a chance remark uttered by my mother in law transformed my life. She was talking one day of how she brought up her children and she said ” No matter what happened, I always insisted on their being themselves.”
Something lit up in my brain. Of course, I needed to be myself. Theres never been a Womba like me through out history nor will there be for ages to come. Why should I try to be a 2nd rate American when I can be a first class Zambian, with my beautiful Zambian accent.
I’m so happy. Instead of playing basketball with my husbands family last weekend I taught them netball.We had so much fun and laughter like never before. Laughing with them for the first time made me feel a part of them. I sing my Lunda and Bemba gospel songs proudly and I’ve stopped trying to sound like Yolanda Adams!
I end with a poem I saw in my mother in laws kitchen.
If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley- but be the best little scrub by the side of the hill
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a bush,be a bit of the grass
and some highway happier make;
We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be the crew,
there’s something for all of us here.
Theres big work to do and there’s lesser to do
And the task we must do is the near.
If you can’t be a highway,then just be a trail,
if you can’t be the sun ,be a star
It isn’t by size that you win or fail
Be the best of whatever you are!
love Womba
Womba, you are our model my sister.Keep well that side of the globe. But remember the mess back home. Find a way of helping out in anyway possible.
Iwe ci Womba didnt we tell you so, that be yourself, act like yourself and talk like zedian! You see now you have achieved nothing by pretending to be what you are not! At least you have learned one thing that pretence doent pay or reward.
How true z it that Lunda women r marriage material? Not these Bemba & Tumbuka ladies who want to attract attention from outside every time u have internal disputes
it took you a move to the states to realise that
#3 Lunda women are great marriage material. They don’t talk too much like our sisters from Luapula. I was once dating a bemba woman who even went to buy her own engagement ring and asked me to marry her.
No 5 .You have really made me laugh!!Have a nice day!!!
And i thought tribalism died a natural death decades ago.Apparently not.
#6: Nundalile?
Ohh yes my sister you are right, being in a new culture sometimes makes you realise and appreciate your own country, culture,social norms and beliefs but kafwafwa comes when you go back home and you want to be seen that you have been there also, mawe mawe! the step and the accent changes like a black american, you throw away our chitenge and move in pants,our old people you say have halitosis you cant talk to them in a close range, shaking hands becames cross infection, church going to you becames the theme of the past,u stop using our 5 fingers to eat the nshima instead u use the folk and a knife , mr,miss and mrs goes and people are called by their first names, this is sad ba nione banione
Nice to hear you are well and enjoying your new life. Chinawahi ochu wunadishimuni.
Bembas biggest zedian clan and most intelligent. Thats a fact!
#11
I am Bemba but [a civilized Bemba who] does not condone any ethnocentric sarcasms. My few scents of advice are: Watch out my brother/sister or you injure other people’s feelings.
One Zambia One Nation!! Be proud.
Womba, I have been here for 7 years and believe I sound the same and have not lost myself. Only thing is that exposure does open your mind and as you mix with Africans from Ghana ,Nigeria, Kenya etc and all the other cultures, you will broaden your perspectives. You should not change yourself but ofcourse you will become less ethnocentric… Keep buying that Zambian music and enjoying everything that reminds you of home…I hope you get to buy your food in Arican stores too! P.S. Its great that you dont try to sound American coz there is nothing worse than a pseudo-American accent. BUT, dont be surprised if it changes abit…you wont even notice it!!! Its all good..enjoy the U.S!!!
When we meet people,sepecially cross culturally, they are drawn by your unique being and originality. WHen you try to be like them, or change your personality , some people lose interest or are taken aback. It happens in relationships too….sometimes trying to please a partner to a point where one loses her/his personality. I am so glad you are being yourself…its what makes some people just adore you
I like the whole thing of being real. One thing we should know is that to be original with no impartation of your nature to influence others is no achievement at all. As Zeds coming from Africa we have a lot to offer to the western world. Look at the way they stress and mind their own lives. I think we have something to offer like the Insaka theory, moral fibre, respectability, marriage values, developing and propagating your own culture/identity. We are endowed with such treasures which we can contribute beginning in a small way where we are. The so called dark continent a long time ago is now holding the jewel the world needs. Regardless of our mosquitoes, hiv/aids and poverty, we`re jewel
#11 you are an *****. Take heed of your relative’s advice. (#12)
The story is a fake, just like the fake American accent.
#18 enjoy the moral of the story. Pls desist from being academic coz you will come out a phony. Look at the positives from the other bloggers. Learn to appreciate the little your mates are contributing to the issue at hand. Just coz Namibia doesnt sound like abroad mustnt bring the negative out of you. It is abroad afterall man!!!
But its a good one for all those fakees. I have met a few Zedians out here who really want to be what they are not.
Sista Womba, if you had grown up listening to Bob Marley like I did intead of Michael Jackson, Bobby Brown, Yolanda etc. then you wouldn’t have had that complex. Rasta has been teaching the same things you just came to realise from way back when!
And # 11, caution mi bredda! I think I’m mo proud to be Bemba than you but I would neva write such labishi. Tribal war has an ugly face. We don’t want another Rwanda in Zambia.
being your true self and discovering your destiny is something worth striving for.As for the tribal thing- let the bembas be themselves too. I find my bemba friends so entertaining, they have something interesting to say about anything and crown it all with their famous bemba proverbs! Lets celebrate our differences.it would be a boring world if we were all the same.
#9 mr nice you cracked my ribs! especially that even before I left zed I hated shaking hands all day long – yeh cross infection! As for the halitosis ha ha ha. But no matter how long I’m out of zed I can never eat nshima with a fork! I once took my son to zed and he freaked at the site of gravel and was terrified of the flies.Everyone thought we were snobs.By the way I’m heading there again, anyone know if they sell diapers in zambia?
#11 you are disappointing zambians, sorry for me to stoop so low, dear you are a disgres to our country zambia. Can you define intelligence in your bemba clan,we are all zambians so lets work us one to build our country, some of you like going away from the subject at hand, is that what you call intelligence?Dear thats trash.
The evolution of one’s consious awareness of themselves and the world around them is the object of our current existence.
What a great day it was, in the history of man(humankind) when He(Male and Female) rose up from the ground and declared “IAM”! The day he discovered that He could Think and Act according to His thoughts marked the greatest personal attainment. This knowledge (or lack of it) is the basis of everything you see in the world Yestaday, Today and Forever.
Cheers!!
#17 Lee Canada your mother is an *****!!! Read comment #3 and see why that triggered Numero Uno to brag about bembas beeing intelligent” Come to think of it i dont give a crap about any tribe in Zambia, people are people, but you guys get worked up so fast over rubbish and start the “name calling” what happened to the “mbuya ship” in zed” if i remember very well such comments like # 11 could never upset a ngoni…
ps: all of you so called (civilized bembas) i pity you… what is civilised about ukukuna imishino?
Good gracious some pipo are sickening. #26 Are you a normal human being or some kind of moster from uncivilised tribe. For your information, I am proud i have find myself and that is I dream bemba, look bemba, think bemba, eat bemba, work bemba, popurised bemba and nothing you will do, dream or say will change my bemba being, because I have find myself and want to keep myself the way I am and dont want anybody to change my thinking. PERIOD.
Word
ZEDIAN,YES.IT IS.
Yeah i have also some Zedian friend who i will call “Kunda” (not real name)and whenever he’s introducing himself he will always say am “K” just call me “K”,this guy will speak English through and through even if we are talking in bemba and nyanja.He rarely uses his full name.I have come across some Zambian brothers and sistas who think people back home are something else,there are some Zambians who think we don’t stock diapers,computers and just think that being abroad has made them higher mortals than those in Z.Well am proud to be an African and a Zambian and will never change my accent..
Cnt’d….Am proud to be Zambian and will never do anything to renounce my Zambian identity and culture.Now for all those of you who think Africa is whack by being abroad,please change your thinking because;no matter how much good english u speak,walk,talk and ill think Zambia,you will never TURN into a white man or woman you will always be BLACK and BEAUTIFUL.period!!!
#30, 31 trulyZambian Mosi, I am proud of you and your acceptance of the self. Hop’ the young generation, who think otherwise, can ‘suck’ little bit of wisdom from U. Keep up the spirit.
hey #31 hold fire.I’m zambian proud to be zambian but due to my upbringing I can not speak any zambian language fluently.Whenever I speak bemba it sends my listeners into a roll of laughter so if you speak to me I’ll answer in english.I’m not a skit I just don’t want to be the unofficial stand up comedian.zambia is not as beautiful as some places but who cares home is home.
I ve been abroad since i turned six,but b’live me iam fluent in my local language(bemba) and very proud to be Zedian as i visit C/belt every after two years.
# 33 its very unfortunate that you find yourself in that situation…
My take is simple: a lot of people want to be accepted in their newly ‘adopted’ homes (especially in developed western nations: US, Canada, Britain, Australia, New Zealand etc). It’s how they choose to do that which matters. Some people try to do that by their achievements in school, their work places, etc (these should be our pride), some try to do that by mimicking the way locals do things especially talking and dressing (these often end up as laughing stocks and an embarrassment to some of us). Unfortunately, few really earn respect (majority only earn ridicule) for trying to mimick the way the hosts speak. I am a proud Zambian who has lived in England, Botswana and the now the US…….
#35 continued: I speak my Bemba and Tonga with very Zambian accents (my Tonga accent is deep, beautiful) and am proud of it. As for my English, I speak well enough (slow and clear enough, with correct pronunciations) to make even native speakers of the language to understand me without having to repeat myself. At the same time, I have no problems understanding most of these native speakers. At school/work, I do my best and realize that to do well, I have to at least be better than the local. Do I see a reason to mimick how they talk??? Honestly not: I just wish that we (Zambians, Africans) in the diaspora would try to be noticed/accepted in ways that are not to do with being funny copycats!
#31 pumelo your case is different and i understand cause i have also got cousins that have been away from home since they where 3.
Am talking bout those Zambians my age born and bred in Zed but come here for school,pumelo i will tell i have seen friends refusing anything to do with some African relish,”kno man been a long time since i ate dat eeh don’ think my stomach wil handle it well,umm do you have some bacon?”
Its these guys am referring to,your case pumelo is totally different and i encourage u to learn to speak bemba even if they laugh at you…#33 LBC you the man and keep up the same spirit..#32 Fake Doctor natotela.
thank you trulyzambia. So you also have funny friends ! a friend of mine said she could no longer swallow nshima and asked for water,which she drank after each lump of nshima! it was quite a spectacle!
Most zambians in the diaspora (esp europe and US of A) are just suffering but are too ashamed to come back home. I found an ex-UNZA mate cleaning my hotel room in Geneva! A lot more are doing such menial jobs, so its surprising that they can be pretending to be what they are not. But anyway only unsuccessful people pretend. I think people in Zambia are much better off becoz at least they have dignity. And a lot are thriving and doing much better than the diasporans who are labourers
Those who came with no plan just to buy clothes and be overseas suffer longterm but there are many who have got Masters and PhDs and are in all sorts of professions. Zambians are socialist so they are happy to be called Manager but earning K2 million a month, Western world is capitalist so a title is nothing…$$$$ is what’s important. Menial jobs last for a short time during college. After that it gets better. Zambians like pose too much thats why there’s poverty..pretentious lives!Dignity and poor??? I think not. Better hassle abit and make a good life for my kids. I love Zambia but I am thankful to God that I am here too…once you marry and settle down well and pray as a couple,its great
Number 11 you should mind your comments.I am bemba but I believe we are one people in Zambia and there is no tribe more intelligent or superior to the other.One Zambia One Nation.Shame on you.
Halt die klappe #41.
#42. Du auch
#42 I know I am right and so I will not shut up
De whole a unnu betta come a Bobo Hill, the Rastaman Camp, weh we go teach unnu One Love, Peace and I-nity. First ting unnu get is a speech of Marcus Garvey on Black Unity and then we go watch a DVD on de coronation of His Majesty. After dat we listen to some Bob Marley , smoke sensi an’ while we reason ’bout slavery an’ hold de meditation. When we done, unnu will never dis unnu black bredrin dem again! Believe me!
gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sis we are one in Zambia.Let’s appreciate each other.Gudda#44