By Daimone Siulapwa
IF some of these stories were not true, they could have been useful material for comedians like Bikiloni, Difikoti, Bob Nkosha, Chibwe Katebe, Dangerous Joburg and others to use during their stand up comedy performances.
But unfortunately, the stories are factual. And if these comedians were to pick on any of the material for their performances, then they would merely be using second-hand material. Maybe, they may even have to negotiate with the copyright owner. Although he has not patented them, copyright is copyright, and they would just have to respect that. And knowing how quick he is to rush to court, they are better of watching from the distance as real comedy competition comes their way.
Indeed, for those of us who are unable to go to the Lusaka Playhouse to watch some comedy performances, we can safely say, we have not missed that much. Mr Michael Chilufya Sata has provided plenty of it. Sad thing is that these comedy performances by him are not meant to amuse the public. They are real action, a reflection of his character. Had Mr Michael Chilufya Sata, leader of the opposition Patriotic Front (PF) been becoming these antics at, say, the Lusaka Playhouse, Chingola Arts Society (CAS), Kitwe Little theatre, Mufulira Arts Council, Lowenthal Theatre or RADOS, then certainly they would have been laughable. But they are not laughable, because, apparently, this is a man who intends to become the Head of State for this youthful country of slightly 13 million people.
Mr Sata’s antics in the political arena are many, that to go through all them, would probably an effort worth a book. But since this is an election, it is only proper and fair that a close scrutiny is made of our leaders. All the leaders!
But first Michael Chilufya Sata.
While his antics are many, we shall start or even restrict ourselves with his latest. Mr Michael Chilufya Sata, having woken up in the morning last Tuesday, decided to do what most active citizens do, scan through the daily newspapers. Upon stumbling on the government-owned and State-controlled Zambia Daily Mail, he took particular interest. Not because the publication was as usual loaded with stories praising government for this and that, but because the lead story belonged to him.
Apparently, Chiefs in Luapula province where Mr Sata had just completed a tour had rejected him, and even refusing to meet him. The only one who managed to meet him is Chief Mumpolokoso, and even his case, it was only after he forced his way past the chief’s retainers. As if that was not enough, most lodge owners refused to accommodate Mr Sata, telling him that they did not have space even when they had, thereby forcing the PF leader to shelter at some Catholic guest house.
Apparently, the chiefs all had refused to meet Mr Sata until he apologises to Paramount Chief Chitumukulu, whom he had disparaged. Well, this story, not the first against him in the local media as there have been countless others including in the private press, was enough to unnerve Mr Sata. He could not take it any more. But what was he supposed to do?
Well, he thought fast and furious, the best way is react to the story is to drive all the way to the Zambia Daily mail on Longolongo Road and confront the newspaper. The newspaper in this case would have been to see either the chief reporter on the news desk or the news editor who would have then instructed a reporter to get Mr Sata’s reaction to the story. As to whether that reaction would have come in the manner Mr Sata would have loved it, is another matter altogether. The other alternative was for Mr Sata to make a written response, which could, if he wanted, have been circulated to all media houses. Even more, Mr Sata would have simply called for a press briefing at which he would have clarified the story, if at all there was any that was needed. More still, he would have gone to the Post newspaper, which seemingly has a sympathetic ear to him and made his reaction. But no, that would not be enough for Mr Sata; he needed the Zambia Daily editorial management to know how he really felt. And the best way to do so is not to walk to the newsroom as he has done in the past. Instead, he would right upstairs were the editorial management team of senior editors were having their daily meeting and confront them. And that he did, first knocking, and then entering and pouring out his feelings.
Surely, there must be other civilized and acceptable ways of dealing with a bad press than this. Mr Sata has been in the public limelight for way too long that he should know how to deal with the press. His conduct, to say, the least was unacceptable, unstatesman-like and does befit a person aspiring to be republican president. And by the way, it is not the first time Mr Sata is displaying this kind of behaviour. For at one he time, he forced his way to the Secretary to the Cabinet demanding that he be declared President and be sworn in accordingly.
Simply put, what drama this country has been made to put up with from so-called political leaders.
sata is a comedian and a dolly neva take him seriously. First look at his face so ugly kwati ni ndoshi
NO AMOUNT OF PROPAGANDA WILL STOP THE PEOPLE FROM VOTING FOR SATA. MAN (AUTHOR ) GET A LIFE YOU ARE VERY DULL. WE ARE ALREADY DECIDED WE ARE VOTING FOR SATA NO MATTER WHAT DULL CHAPS LIKE WRITE.
1. Shazza – Sata is not presenting himself for a fasion parade (miss Zambia) etc. But to provide leadership, so looks have nothing to do with his quest!
Shazza says
ITS YOUR FATHER WHO IS DULL, NOWONDER HE HAS YOU AS A HIS SON. ANSO BA WISO LISHILU I KNOW YOU.
2. john phiri – this article is as hollow as the author, look at the first 4 paragrahps, totally irrelevant
#1 watch out…is this the country where pipo insult highly respected pipo like Sata….iwewine ulindoshi for u to kn how they look like. this article lacks sense this guy must be some cadre from some useless party. watch the space…with yo eyes u will see Sata retain this yrs presidency…donchi kubeba
this author is quite stupid,similar to the siulapwa, that political con;cubine.huh…Sata my President :)>-
# 1 how much were you give not to reason propery go to hell man. We are still going to Vote for Mr. Sata come rain come sunshine.
Zambian Politics go up side down sometimes you know people? We might think he is comedian today and we do not need him but other people have reasons to believe he is the president to redeem Zambia from ABCDEEE and these divergent viewshave to be respected in a democratic country.No body knows what/who instigated his being refused lodging. Even though we belong to other political parties we also have to avoid over excitement in case we are defeated by people we might consider comedians,fools,satanists,corrupt than the word and the like.After all he will leave the post for others.Uwamuyayaya is not the spirit of Zambia.Even during super Ken ,people shouted the word but did not mean it.When LPM was alive many polititians shouted Mrs.LPM for next president.Now? Evrything has its own time.
USELESS ARTICLE VERY DULL AUTHOR AND NOT WORTHY COMMENTING ON. DONT BE USED BY PEOPLE TO WRITE SUCH MEANINGLESS ARTICLES FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO MR AUTHOR YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME CHANGE IS COMING WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
I dont like Sata or RB or HH but i can critically give an analysis of their political ambitions (cons and prons) rather than doing what Daimone Siulapwa is doing. The other day I read ur article on UKZambian on Sata. I told u that u were not objective u said u were but look at this??? sorry that u spent i dont know how many yrs behind a desk and only to write this crap?? hope u did not use the TAX PAYERS money on ur education and u not employed by GVT!!!!!!!!!
:-? When we comment why do we speak on behalf of others instead of just for ourselves? I for one speaking on my own behalf will not vote for MCS!
Why did i waste time on this article ? Something must be wrong with me,i might aswell take a MRI brain scan.
We know you have been asked to write negative staff about SATA, for your inform, you are just digging your own grave because when he becomes head this year all of you will be behind bars. so carefure what you say I.D.IOT
The Author of this article Shoud be a Grade Seven Pupil who is still waitning for his results since 1996…Please correct me if i am wrong.The analysis was made when he passed through Tekele’s Office and heard them discussing about MC Sata.This Chap Suilapwa is a Disgrace to who ever took him to school.Let me end here for now because Nalaponta.
Character assassination of the worst kind.Talk issues affecting the average Zambian.
it is unfortunate that poverty is driving us too low. Any person who earns above k5m can not be bribed to sink so low and write such a stu.pi.d article. A well meaning lodge running a business will not go empty and let clients go unless someone else has paid for those rooms. The spirit of Chanda Chimba III is spreading too fast. It is a spirit of poverty which we must rebuke. By the way I like the way this grade 7 is starting his paragraphs. “Indeed”, “Apparently”well”, surely”. It takes me way back to the days of “However”
This article has no substance, it seems it was written by a grade seven pupil preparing for exams this year.
Why do we have a lot of such shallow articles in Zambian media? Is it a reflection of the average writing skills ability nowadays?
No. 12 CMF- I will also not vote for RBBish
The crap!
The TWIT(author) was thinking with his bows.
The article is very boring and lacking substance, from the title, i thought there was something important.
STUPID GRADE TWO. Even a nursery school girl can give a good naration.
and who is not a comedian?? Rupiah Banda?? After falling on the escalators at the UN summit in America…..and a Monkey peeing on him at state house….lol
luckily most of you fools dont vote
ZNBC its Sata, Times of Zambia Sata, Zambia Daily Mail Sata, Lusakatimes Sata, Post newspaper Sata, Chanda Chimba or Chi-imbwa Sata. So Sata is very popular in Zambia. So tomorrow Sata will be in newspapers
ONE IMPORTANT THING MR SATA SHOULD APOLOGISE TO THE CHIEFS IN LUAPULA. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN APOLOGISING TO THE ROYAL HIGHNESSES.
# 18, I agree with you this article is void of substance and has a deluge of errors (in syntax and grammer). The author, and indeed the editor as well need to solicit the services of a qualified professor of English. I had a tough time trying to decipher the author’s train of thought as some of his sentences are incomplete (putting a period at the end of a sentence is not enough, you have to complete the meaning).
yaba , This article has caused me to feel like vomiting, Is the Auther a great two_. I think a grade 7 can say logical things than what this dull Siulapwa is spitting.
Ati nisebana wikute..hehe.
Too much trash jounerism from this guys. Can this be a story for someone who has gone to school pliz. Consider upgrading your qualifications not just having Diplomas. No wonder you are not able to bring stories objectively.
LT why do you use this USELESS piece of imbwa ya muntu DIAMOND SIALUPWA to write anything on your website. Is this thing Sialupwa part of your management? DELETE this article is so full of hyena’s fur.
Apparently the writer has never heard of parody in comedy
Whoever will walk to the polling booth or even seriously thinking of voting for Michael Chilufya Sata should rethink again otherwise you are lacking forsight, I liken all those people who are making crowds for PF rallies as people who go to see the comedian Sata at his game-telling stories-stories that people want to hear! Zambians are very clever people who will vote wisely-for MMD the lesser evil period.
The writer of the article may lack substance or was going round in circles but Sata is not the answer for Zambia mwe bantu salapukeni
Very dull chap,siulapwa these a the chaps who ar content wit mmd a party content wit the drainage on cairo road which can b filled by five (5) men urinating in it.
Yaba … No comment
On “Chiefs in Luapula province where Mr Sata had just completed a tour had rejected him, and even refusing to meet him… As if that was not enough, most lodge owners refused to accommodate Mr Sata, telling him that they did not have space even when they had, thereby forcing the PF leader to shelter at some Catholic guest house… the chiefs all had refused to meet Mr Sata until he apologises to Paramount Chief Chitumukulu, whom he had disparaged” I hope that this is a clear message to PF cadres and PF leadership that Luapula Province will mostly likely vote for the UPND’s HH if they will not accept Mr FJT Chiluba’s endorsement of RB who has failed to run Zambia.
Vote for sensible HH this 2011.
Be blest all.
_
Matt 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His…
Lol, @ no 8, PROPERY????? I hope you were just playing around hahahahahah
the man is a wich and that is why all his MPs are running to malawi for charm
If you had asked some so called ”strong” leaders in North Africa about change they will tell you that the future is so unpredictable that the comedians of today may be kings of the future! Any sensible politician should reflect on the happenings in North Africa and under stand that one cannot use is state machinery to exploit the masses! We sold Zamtel to libyans but today there are fears that our Zamtel may collapse.
Can Daimone Siulapwa tell the nation why he run away from South Africa before he starts opening his mouth? We know his brother is one of the MMD sub parties the so called new generation party.
#6 DONCHI KUBEBA ati ” …you will see sata RETAIN this years presidency!” How can someone retain something that wasnt his in the first place. After losing this years elections Sata should seriously consider a career in stand up comedy with you and JOHN PHIRI as his sidekicks.
The question that very naturally comes to mind is this:
If Mr Michael Chilufya Sata can do this while he is just an ordinary citizen, what will he do when he has the instruments of power at his disposal? I feel sorry for The Post. Will they still remain “independent” when Sata is in State House? This is a man who while in government, by telephone threatened someone in ZCCM not to give a job to his wife!
Well, it is a democracy and I respect the Zambians who will vote for Mr Sata to be President. After all it is one’s democratic right to consent to be politically ‘sodomised.’
PANIC in the MMD camp.
Don’t see the value in this commentary though the LT is moving towards irrelevance with such kind of gutter reporting or is it Yellow Journalism.
This article is full of nothing substantial and beneficial to the current political environment..the master comedian is Alaa Beee.the authour of this article is a comedian himself/herself..just look at the name,SIULAPWA…wat can come out of such?another SIULAPWA who happens to be a president of some club he calls a party jst rebranded his organisations symbol to that of a baby in a nappy or dyper..aint that comedy itself?anything with Siulapwa is comedy to me,naba mudala ba sata ba wamapo.
Educated one (37) rather {Maestro Hhehhehhehhe for 2011 would-b President of Zambia HH}:
Is the direction of your sentiments really worth taking? Why DO you hate Sata with all your being Mr Christian? What if the pact decides to have Sata to stand in for presidency. Are you going to join MMD?
Your sentiments:
“I hope that this is a clear message to PF cadres and PF leadership that Luapula Province will mostly likely vote for the UPND’s HH if they will not accept Mr FJT Chiluba’s endorsement of RB who has failed to run Zambia.
Vote for sensible HH this 2011…”
i will also not vote for a Rabid Baboon(RB)who backs at every divergent view.To hell with Movement for Mad Dogs.
If the author intended for his article to evoke comical laughter, I must admit, it has lamentably failed. This article is just a replication of what we have read in the Daily Mail. Any right-thinking Zambian must condemn the kind of journalism that goes on at the State-controlled tabloids. What about the many undemocratic blunders, tribalism, mediocrity, and senseless statements made by RB. Siulapwa, quit embarrassing yourself with such shallow thinking.
Munzi wapya .viva pf.
The pact just has to work … to hell with individual interests! We want change for the better. We are tired to the same under-performing leadership. Viva the PF-UPND pact!
May I humbly ask how you the followers of ba Sata, envisage how he shall speedily bring comparatively faster economic development? Could some of the more intelligent (please, just the more intelligent), post their views? Forget the emptyness of MORE MONEY IN POCKETS, let’s talk about economic progression, foreign policy, tax regime,maize marketing, health and education, roads etc. Empty heads like Ichi Nyamu Nyamu and what lady gaga is becoming are best not replying.
Ba Daimone Siulapwa,
Maybe you should start reporting Ku Barotse Land, you seem to lack even the basic knowledge of Luapula Province. ChitiMukulu comes from Northern Province… Not Luapula, we have Mwata Kazembe in Luapula.. so this article is misleading and also biased. When will Zambian Journalists ever be professional. write a story and let the people Judge. what happens when journalists are used by politicians use you. Remember Lackson Ntani, his credibility went down under with the Tunnels story. He should have reported that without Bias.. Today chiluba is still smaller than Kaunda… and where is lackson Ntani… Kaya..
#2 john phiri, you must be the son of chief mwamba of Kasama who was in the news this evening for reasons not beffitting a royal.
come rain or sunshine we bembas shall vote for Sata. How can we allow ourselves to be ruled by a non-bemba, clever people (or is it monkeys) that we are?
Lackson is very much there and ever so radiant with his brilliance. He happened, in his desire to get involved in management, to head the livingstone office and together with Queen Chungu, we received amazing footage and intelligent reporting from stonetown to as far as sesheke. Many can attest to the accuracy of this. Lackson, has since moved to copperbelt regional office, AND AGAIN I should state, and again as the saying goes, ITS BETTER TO KEEP your thoughts shut and let people assume you’re unintelligent, than to comment as you’ve just done, and remove all doubt!” It is sinful to expose ignorance in times of internet. Chalochesu think twice
Six months ago, Sata was in with a chance for the presidence. But as usual, he always loses it in the home straight. Like Mike Mulongoti, he has no patience. In siLozi, there is a saying that goes like: “linong’o li lilimwi hali matelwi – never run for one vulture”. One good by-election or political rally does not mean that everything is all right for the general election. The woes on the PACT and “rebellion” by Luapulan chiefs coupled with his waning traction in Northern province are a clear testament that Zondwe will fall once again. If his heart does not fail him before the polls day, the electorate will. Zondwe will never rule this country.
Sata will rule Zambia over my dead body. And he has to kill my ghost as well.
You have some good points. Just polish up before publishing articles.
Ba LT, dont you have Editors?
what a dull article. you don’t have to vote for him Diamond…
#57 proceed digging pliz
Leave SATA alone!
Wait you stupid political bootlickers until another one of your own fails to people pressure. who in the world thot Col Gaddafi could flee the Country? You kaponyas with no clout will be running around like pondos imbwa shabula amayanda.
The leaders has neglected the youths for so long. A country of 70% unemployed youths. Zambians let vote wisely
Guys find me on fb under the group name STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR ZAMBIA join in and lets have a discussion about the problems our country is undergoing and what you and I can do about it.
I think its time for the youth to stand up and speak our minds without fear of oppression
It’s a case of ‘bakolwe balaiseka ifipato’..Diamone is equally a comedian like Sata.Zambia is one big comedy show.Every bloody twit comments on anything.
You are rotten. Chief Mumplokoso is not in Luapula we chipumbu. You MMD cadre.
Daimone Start looking for a job in South Africa where you live. You wont find one in Zambia after elections
useless article. what value does it hold to the educated readers.
#52
Chalochesu – Actualy a lot of chiefs met Sata, so this numskull should have just thrown this article in the toilet. By the way the MMD have sponsored a radio station in Congo called Radio Kasabwe to disparage SATA. What a shame.
All we need is change. We’re tire of MMD.
deleted
Shame! What is the point in this article? There is nothing comical about a state run media fubricating stories about presidential contenders. Daily mail owe the Zambian public – because we fund that damn thing – a duty to present analytical news – not personal attacks and character assassinations.
I have 10 reasons why I wont vote for MMD. Number Six is this one of turning our public media into government kantemba. Daily mail, Times, ZNBC and ZANIS are being forced to abundone their professionalism to sing songs for rulling parties. That is not only shameful it is a breach of social contract. We fund these institutions through our exhorbitant taxes THEY should not turn around against US… There is nothing comical about that – it is a SERIOUS ELECTION ISSUE!!!
The author of this article (Daimone Siulapwa) is dull and he lack respect. Is he related to danny…?
JUST KEEP QUIET AND VOTE…IF YOU HAVE NO CHOICE…AT LEAST CONSULT THOSE WHO KNOW. BUT FOR SATA, PRESIDENCY IS NOT A GOOD CAREER CHOICE…HE SHOULD TRY SOMETHING ELSE – LOUD AND SPONTANEOUS. INFACT ITS TOO LATE FOR HIM…HE TOO OLD. RB SHOLD JUST DO HIS NORMAL 5 YEAR TERM AND GIVE SOMEONE LIKE MUTATI OR EVEN MACHILA OR HH (WITH SOME CHANGE – HE’S BEEN SLIGHTLY DAMAGED BY SATA’S WITCHCRAFT…
Daimone Siulapwa, is as dull as the word itself. seriously he needs a life. MAN IF YOU HAVENT ANYTHING TO TOK ABOUT OR WRITE TRY DOING NOTHING BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR PERFECT PROFESSION. NO RaBish this year Kuya Bebele.
VIVA CHANGE VIVA PACT.
@The final say says, Ka Mutati is even more useless. i had a lot of trust in the man untill i heard that he is one of those refusing the Miners on the CB from getting good salaries offered by share holders. i heard this myself. so dont think he is so much of a Saint.
Lusaka Times should know by now that we read articles in order to obtain vital information and i for one to build on my vocabulary and grammar.The English on this blog,iyeeeh! Some grade 6 books are well written.
Alabane iam bankrupt thats why i came up with Stand up for Zambia. RB alandishamo bwino to bring down the Cobra.Nothing sinister its just a survival tactic no hard feeling for MCS .Baza ulye bane
hahaha am loving the way some of you are quick in condeming the article. Atleast i am not the only one who felt betrayed after reading on until i realised it was mare propaganda. Surely, the beginning was interesting and i thought the author was going to give an analysis of the top 3 guys. Why just Sata? I would love to see a neutral article when it comes to the top 3 aspiring candidates. At the moment, no media is fair believe me.
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