Two years ago one of our readers sent us this story which was a true account of her life.It was very difficult for the author to relive her past and write this article but she did it to help other girls,women and parents who might entrust their daughters to relatives.A few days after the article was published Lusakatimes got an email from one of the men who was mentioned later in the story.He sought forgiveness for his involvement and said he had carried guilt with him for many years.We also got emails from women, some in their 50’s who shared similar stories but never felt they had a voice and applauded the author for her courage.This article is being republished to give a voice to the voiceless in the Zambian society.
By Indi
I was five year old when I left the Southern province with my young sister to go to live on the Copperbelt. The Copperbelt (CB) was the place to be at that time, the mines were giving the best jobs and scholarships, the best private schools could be found here, visas to shop in the UK were unlimited, the Duty Free shops where everywhere and of course it was a big thing to miss the Trade Fair.
I loved the trade fair and took pride in how many candyfloss I could eat in one day. So the idea to travel to the CB and live with my very rich uncle and his wife sounded like was the best thing that could ever happen to me. My parents had allowed us to stay with my uncle for the first three years to be able to attend the mine schools there. As my aunt and uncle had no children, it would be an ideal thing to do but all those details and more did not matter to me as I was going to live in the place of my dreams.
The first weeks of arriving there were heaven on earth, I had no idea that this would soon change. I soon became my uncle´s sex pet. It all started with simple sexual sayings like, “you do not have your breasts yet at your age?”, “What lovely long straight legs you have!” etc. I took these comments as compliments and also eyeopeners to pray that I would develop fast and have breasts. But I liked being with uncle, he just showed us the best times in life.
The comments would change to small touches on my private parts and chest. I was five years of age and thought it was some kind of game that I really did not want to play. It was then that I started to get weary and shy of being in his presence.[pullquote]I never gave them the details of what he did to me, but when I got home, I was whipped by my aunt so badly that I swore on everything in my life never to repeat this story or even hint at it. She accused me of trying to wreck her home, reputation and called me lots of ugly names. Names that would soon become a part of me. She told me, I was useless, ugly and a home wrecker[/pullquote]
Uncle who was 36 years at the time began to play “games”. Games that were secrets never to be told. Uncle`s game of touch would turn to showing me pornographic movies. My parents never allowed us to watch any form of kissing in any movie, magazine or newspaper. So when the porno movie started, I did what I always did, cover my eyes with my hands and hope that it would soon be over. I never knew what I was watching but it was full of sounds and not words. I run out of the room to my sleeping room. I did not want to disobey my parents.
By the time I turned six, the movies, touching games had soon began to be a part of my weekly life. I was afraid to tell because I was just so scared Then the sexual molestation began, the bait was my young sister. If I refused to do what he said, he told me that he would go after my sister and kill us. I never wanted that. I had to protect my sister. So I surrendered to his demands. I never understood this but I knew this game was not what I ever wanted to play and I just wanted to go home. My aunt was always busy and attended every single party/event there was to attend. After all she was the Boss´ wife and a very important person in the community.
But the holiday we were to come home, my aunt had her first baby and unfortunately we had to stay. But my parents did come and visit us, but I never got around to tell them what was going on. I cried so much the day they came but everyone around me including myself said it was homesickness. My parents were surprised to see that I was no longer carefree (I have to admit that I was very lazy in terms of doing house chores) but became so clean and concerned. The truth was, I thought my hard work would make me so tired that I never woke up to do what my molester wanted.
My abuser would soon get tired of his molesting and wanted more. Three days before my seventh birthday, he took me in his big car for a ride with his young son. We rode to a river bank or was that a dam, I never can remember. He took me out of his car and slapped me so hard, I could not understand why. His son was quietly sleeping and I looked around for someone nearby, but there was nobody. He kicked me so hard in my stomach. I was so confused and in pain that I just did not know what to do. It was in my confusion and crying that he raped me. The feeling was like that of the sharpest razor cutting me down there. He told me it was a way to make me feel like a woman, to be mature and he was doing me a favor and if I told anyone he would kill me.
All I did was try to scream, but his hand was over my mouth, and cry and wish never to be a woman because what I felt during the rape hurt me so bad. I was bleeding and thought I was going to die.
When we returned home, he was laughing and being nice and acted like nothing had happened. My aunt noticed my sad face and the blood on my clothes and she asked me what had happened and he was fast to say I had began my menstrual period. I did not know what those words meant and agreed to what he said. I went to bath asking myself did every woman go through this to become a woman? What about my mum, did she go through it too?
I never died that night but I held my sister so hard because I did not want her to feel what I felt. I cried myself to sleep. The next morning the pain was still there and I could barely walk, so I stayed in bed. My aunt came in and told me things about “periods”, something that made no sense to me. She also warned me to stay away from boys as I could get pregnant. The bleeding had eventually stopped but the pain was excruciating. I hated to have to urinate.
Within a week of this experience, my abuser carried on sexually abusing me. I kept asking, how many times do I have to be cut down there to become a woman? As he sometimes came into my room late in the night, I would always be up and awake and loud hoping that my aunt would hear what was going on. But all my efforts were in vain as we lived in a very large house.
That year my cousin had been killed in a car crash, so we had to go to the funeral. As we sat around the fire, I told my abuser´s sister and a number of other relatives that were willing to hear how my uncle had sometimes late in the night come into my room.
I never gave them the details of what he did to me, but when I got home, I was whipped by my aunt so badly that I swore on everything in my life never to repeat this story or even hint at it. She accused me of trying to wreck her home, reputation and called me lots of ugly names. Names that would soon become a part of me. She told me, I was useless, ugly and a home wrecker.
Right after the funeral Aunt had to travel to London, we had to look after our baby cousin. Uncle heard about my incident at the funeral, and he pulled me by the hair out of the house and drove me to his friends house. I was so shaken that I thought he would beat me up, but it turned out I would be in a porno movie and I was the leading actress. I had never felt so dirty in my life but I never wanted him to kill me or my sister like he said he would. His friends enjoyed taking turns at me too. I had to oblige, I was being made into a woman and I belonged to him.
When we drove back to the mansion, my sister was so scared and came to my bed and we cried together. I prayed every night that he or his friends would stop these “woman” lessons because I just wanted to be a girl. It hurt so bad to be a grown up. I prayed to God that I would even stop playing those grown up games, like putting lemons in my chest pretending they were my breasts or wearing my aunts shoes because I was now happy to be a girl. But for some reason the answer never came. Where was my God? I went to church and tried hard not to sin. I just wanted God to save me and my sister from being killed.
When we finally went home that August, I was so happy but then I became afraid of all men in my life including my own father and brothers. I never wanted to play and hid behind house chores and reading.
The remaining year, we stayed with my parents and I started to feel normal again, but then my aunt came to collect us just before my ninth birthday to return to the Copperbelt. I thought my uncle had told her to come and kill us …that when it was time for us to leave, I went into the car without looking back at my family and falling back into my abuser´s hands. Many months went by and the abuse got worse but I accepted it as a part of my life. I was beaten and tied down if I refused but fear had the best of me.
…..to be continued
oh my goodness!
my heart bleeds!!! poor gal
Oh my Gosh!
I find this story to be fictous for 2 reasons: 1. unless someone has a supernatural memory and brain, its (VERY) hard to remember all the details of ones life at 5yrs. 2. I don’t believ that the uncle and his friend could take turns on a 6 (7?) year old and the girl comes out alive. However, if its true, its so sad!
#4 Sir Simunyola these things happen under our very noses,mans heart is very wicked.Besides doesn’t the article at the beginning say one of the men asked for forgiveness?As long as we deny whats happening around us we won’t be able to fix this problem.Even Oprah Winfrey said she was abused as a kid so this isn’t far fetched.
#4 Child Phsycologists say a person can remember most things that happened after they were 3 yrs. So be careful bane not kunyokolana or walk about naked in the presence of a child 3 yrs and above. I only wonder how come none of these man`s friends was reasonable to stop this devilish act. Were they on drugs? As parents let`s be careful who we send our children to even for a short visit/sleep overs etc. Don`t wait to report to police. The damage will already have been done.
This story is fake.donch kubeliva
#5,
Yes, these things are very real. but I’m really doubting the victim’s ability to remember all the details including the verbatim. At 5yrs, the human brain (and memory) is not developed enough to retain and recall experiences (u can test this yourself by trying to remember anything when u were 5?). But like I said, its really sad if the story is true!
I am able to remember traumatic events that happened when I was five. I think memories vary.
Jesus cage the uncle
Sir Simunyola, why do I agree with you????? The story seems to have had some substance at the outset until the issue of age was raised. At 5 it is very difficult for a child to recall in detail what would have happened to them later on in life, unless of course the child in question is special. Not to say some wicked men rape children less than 5, no! it happens every day we live. Perhaps the aunt had a role to play in the whole “sexcapade”? I think it would be fairly easy to tell something is not right with a child who has had 6 or so grown ass men take turns raping her.
Sad story anyway, made my skin crawl in the first few paragraphs.
PF thugs, take time to read this. Dont just skip it. I dont want molesters in my province.
Thats the reason children are abused easily ….no one ever believes them when they cry out for help.
LT should not use that photo of the minor, even if she is not the one in the story. Please correct this immediately. Remove the photo.
Reality is very extreme ! I think they are more worse cases than this to be yet reported.
#13 Jacob,
kwati mwana obe? how does the picture concern u?
Surely the Aunt should have known that it is not possible for a child of 7 years to start menstruating unless she was abetting her husband’s sexual molestation. And if so what was her motive? Is it possible for a 7 year child to conceive?
Ba LT, this habit of putting photos of underage people is not good. You could have just put the article without using some else’s daughter. The story is moving, healing to those who have gone through living hell.
We know that these things happen, but please next time ba Lusaka Star, raise the age from 5 to 11 or 13 years if you have to maintain the content. The way it is, makes me doubt the credibility and originality of the discpourse…..every person with strong and advanced analytical skills will tell you and conclude this is SCI-FI…but makes perfect academic sense for revealing such nonsense behavoiur and the content educative. Chao!
Chalitumpa chi uncle chakwe umwaiche uyu. Reminds me of an uncle who used to touch my breasts too when I was young, so he would pretend to put his arm around my shoulder when we walk kanshi chi chicolor had other motives. People these things are real in families and we need to speak about them and those with children ask them to speak out. I feel the author’s pain and it has taken a bad feeling in my life coz I still feel dirty.
It is in fact a form of abuse putting another childs photo. Remove it!!!
Please don’t doubt the credibility of this story because in SA seven men gangraped a 6-month old baby in Western Cape a few years ago. The best thing you can do is do everything possible to protect your children.
#16, Senior…
Thats a good point too. In an ideal situation, the aunt would kow better about mentrua..tion than the uncle. Also, the author says because the house was too big, the uncle used to descend on her at night while the aunt was (in the main bedroom)! haha.. lyashi lya kwa Kaleya mateo!
Although the human brain is not fully developed until an individual’s 20s; a child can remember significant events even at the tender age of five. I was six when I walked in on a man holding a knife to my mother’s neck. I remember that and I won’t ever forget it. That is the very reason why I practiced Tae Kwon Do. I will not let a man or any other person hurt me like that!
Lord this is such a sad story. Ladies rather have a man relative in your house than a female relative or simply get an old woman to look after your house. These things always happen but stupidly woman of the house choose to ignore them. *tears in my eyes* HUH
The man is a reptile and needs to be caged immediately. He doesn’t deserve any mercy. Shame on him.
but the chi aunty also how can she accuse a little girl of being a home wrecker and why did’n’t the relatives do something.hope this man will pay for what he did
#4 i remember my uncle’s lies of saying he will bring me new shoes, clothes, sweets and bluh bluh bluh and i was just 5 years. i still hate him for those lies because i was brought up being told lying is bad and yet the same adults were lying. A child’s brain is more powerful and thats why they say teach your children good manners when they are still young, because they will never forget
# 23,yes you are right human brain can remember significant events because even myself i still remember some of the events that happened while i was at about 6 or so.But sad as it is for the one to be abused,i don’t think the writer is being truthful about her age because it is practically impossible for men to take turns on a child and that child continues to live.I think she was much older,maybe about 13 or more but whatever her age,it was still very sad for these older men to be having canal knowledge with a minor.
The whole story to me sounds fictious mwe. at 5yrs some one cant be this accurate as regards events and how they lined up, unless this gal had a genius memory…….? the porn stuff with friends…?, i dont think normal people would do such barbaric stuff to a minor unless it was a ritual and also the issue of this man raping this todler in the night? where was the aunty?…anyway whilst I do appreciate child molestation and sexual abuse happens in these homes but this one is just a story.
I still remember at 5 we used to sleep in the same room with an aunt who was much older than ourselves. She could walk about naked in the bedroom applying vasiline on her body. I used to wonder why she had hair on her pubic region.
Ba LT the picture of that girl there is not fair! That’s an innocent human being, someone’s daughter and she deserves respect and privacy! When you see journalists being manhandled at courts it’s because of this abuse of other people’s images.
Back to the story. Its is very sad but at 5 years its hard to believe such a vivid recollection of the story. The aunty probably ignored the girl’s anguish because she was enjoying her husband’s wealth and status mu chipanda. I hope this girl, now woman has healed completely.
Iwe monko, you have made your point on the photo, but do not trivialize the beating up of journalists outside court by the family of a plunderer by giving a stupid retarded reason as to why they got beaten. Those guys were beaten because the family of a criminal wanted to defend whatever integrity they think this criminal might have. Dont be silly.
:( its just sad to hear of such happening to young girls and at such an age it is mind numbing, but we should also understand that its at the same age that a child is at his or her pick in terms of curriosity…….so it will be very easy for someone to recall some frightening situations like that of the author of the story above, mind you its at this same age that we as humans realise our fears, we actually start learning intensly at around the same age or even earlier..i dont think you need to be special, i think its the urge to know whats going on arround the make it very easy to remember……tell you what if it were up to me all child molesters would spend there live solitary confinment so they dont see the world because what they are doing to these children is denying them the chance
OMG, this girl child was from heaven! At 5 yrs, she already new about good jobs and schoolarships on the coppebelt (mmmm), and she also knew and was enjoying going to the trade fair!!!! paragraph 1 really sounds fun and u can’t mistake that for a real story!
Also, at about 6yrs, the aunt accused the her of being a home wrecker! Really?
Sorry babie…forgive him…but if u have any evidence please report. This burger could be doing the same to many other people.
to learn with a free mind and that just hurts when you look at how these people are distroying young minds, poisoning what God has set for greatness to prevail with what ever it is that the he or she will provide in terms of the services we as humans render to the world we live in so that we enjoy what the mercifull Lord has given unto us…….
This sounds like an exageration. Aunt is failing to realize that a baby can not menstrate! A rich man taking a 7 year old girl to shre with friends? Man beating a girl for her to give in ? Usually they use ice crem, chips, sweet and money. The husband leaves the bed and wife can not hear slight noises? She must have been drunk because she liked kitchen parties. Why her? I think exageration
IF THE STORY IS CORRECT,PLZ REMOVE THE SNAP OF THE INNOCENT GIRL FROM THE SITE BA LT,THIS IS VICTIMISATION.
I know some gay rapist, buff and huge. I will ask them to pay this rich uncle a ka visit. Give him a taste of his own medicine, rape him till he feels that sharp pain in his anus … Tell rich unlce I’m on my way to copala … sad story tho, it touched my insides … this uncle and his friends are not human beings, zee be animals … Licky Loss
The 5 year old thinking like a big woman
I am not denying that child abuse occurs. However, I find this story difficult to believe. I am interested to find out what period this happened. Firstly, it describes the copperbelt with duty free shops everywhere, visas to shop etc. This is definitely not the copperbelt of the 80’s and 90’s and 00’s that we knew. It is probably of the 70’s. If it is of the 70’s, home video or movie making was not yet available. Unless someone has access to filmimg equipment, the making of porn would have been quite difficult. Also, the frequent watching of porn would have meant her uncle must have had access to cellulose-based porn movies and I don’t think those were readily available to Zambians at that time. I would like to believe the story but the facts don’t add up.
I remember the lady on Ready for Marriage who had a similar story. She she reported that Her uncle who was keeping her had raped her the Aunty was more concerned about keeping her family home and beat her up some more and gave her back to the same man for another round as a punishment for speaking out. Now how does a child who has been threatened speak out? I pray to God that these men get what they deserve and that man who wrote in with his apology can take that to the God he serves because he is equally and animal for participating in the rape of a child.
#40 I like your observation She also attended mine shools. That time of mine schools I think equipment to make a video may have been very rare. It was good imagination on the part of the writer. The story is ver moving kwena
You people asking for clarification of age, now whether it was 5, 7, 13, 199 years old, it is so wrong to rape/abuse anybody especially if it is a defenseless child Period!!!! Very evil indeed!
Hmm, I read this story when is first appeared and the problem I had with it was that it was too “polished”. I am not sure why but if you want to send a message across there is no need to write a five star article hoping to get a reaction, people like raw and truthful stories.
I am not saying this is a false story and these things happen every day. Now here is my advise to the readers as I work in the field of child protection, a child says he/she are being abused, believe it, change is behaviour either too good or bad is another indicator. You’ve got a hunch that it is happening, go with it as IT IS HAPPENING…. As we say here “Good Day”!
#40 and 42..I lived in the copperbelt in the 80s.We had Duty free shops.If you remember thats how people would buy chocolates,canned coke etc.Stop trashing the story just because your little heads can’t wrap around the magnitude of evil that exists.Anyway if people can deny the holocaust ever happened I’m sure you find it easy to deny this story.What do you say about one of the men asking for forgiveness was he making it up too?
Izi ninkani zamu kachaso. While it is true that such things happen, the whole narration sounds too exaggerated as if its some novel intended to capture the imagination and emotions of the reader. The age, frequency and accuracy of the so called escapades are like a Cinderella fiery tale. This must have been written by Mushota with the help of Nick.
Very sad story. Now that the lady is going thru counselling & healing, part of the healing process would be to officially report the abuser to the authorities. Doing this, would deter “would be molesters” and remove the tag that this is a FAKE story. Open up my dear lady. You don’t know how many innocent lives you ‘ll save. God bless!!
I do not believe this story Period! The writer should classify it as fiction. The girl had an opportunity to tell parents when she went to visit – uncle was not arround. Thats if it were a true story….
Lynn on #45 the is no need to call us “little heads”. We have a differing opinion and that is all. If you read my first line, you see that I have acknowledged that abuse occurs. I grew up on the copperbelt as well and went to the same mine schools she is talking about. There were no duty free shops everywhere on the Copperbelt. Having one duty free shop by Niecos in Kitwe and Ndola is very different from having them EVERYWHERE. Why exaggerate the story when the content could have spoken for itself?
And for the record, this “little head” is a professor at a renowned University with many accolades to his name.
Animal! beast should be traced and hung on a atake through hia bottom hole
I am touched by the story. Most people who abuse younger ones are from CB why? Think of the life of the younger one. It is not fair to rape some one you stay with taking advantage that you are the owner of the house NO. I also urge the younger girls who are in the same state to report the matters to police immediately because 1) that man might be infected with HIV and the younger girl need to be PEP to serve her from the virus. 2) The man is destroying the girls future. I also heard of some story that CB man like having sex with their sister-in-laws. Shame. Please girls if you have been raped or abused go to police or clinic so that you can be give Post Exposure therapy (PEP) against HIV
If the story is true then what did a little kid of 5 do to deserve such treament? The wife was there or was she too busy with parties and could not even notice what was happening. Was she some accomplice to some rituals or what. What was he doing it for? It was not enjoyment off course. Hatred? For who. To many questions.
Kwena uyu cikala alitumpa sana. Sorry poor gal u had to go thru that life. WARNING to all who are being abused plz dnt hide expose these *****ic monisters. I feel disgusted!!
#49 sorry for that but I really get pissed especially at men that trash such stories.You don’t know the pain this girl and many girls go through.You men can go on with your lifes but you destroy the lives of the female gender who are ‘damaged’ forever.If the author reads your comments how do you think she will feel.Instead of our learned professors propounding on how to curb such vices you want to discuss how many Duty Free shops were in the copperbelt! Men!
kekekeke.i cant belive it some people are falling for this story.child abuse surely does exist but this one is seriously dramatised.
it gives more questions than answers.
I want to belive that this Untie had a hand in this abuse. Probably with the full concent of the Untie it was agreed that the Uncle can sleep with this girl for some reason. Cause Uncle can not be having sex with the girl day in day out, night in night out without the Untie knowing or suspecting. Untie + Uncle both = GUITY
The levels of of child abuse in this country high and alive. I hope we all pay attention to what our children are telling us. Todays world be on the look out even for yor boy child.
Well, that’s the controversy, writers can make a fake account of their lives to sell a brand name or a story, I am debating whether to buy the story or not!
the uncle was from southern province, CB was the place to be….come on people this story is just too fake, how can a child of 5 think in those lines…I am not disputing the fact we have some animals to doing abuse to children, but this is a non story
I think people are expecting the author to be 5 years now she’s obviously a grown woman now and the lingo will be of a grown woman.
That is just so sick i failed to read the whole story.Please gentlemen why wreak the life of an innocent little girl when you can even afford prostitutes.Sick.
I have read a lot of fiction by James Hardley Chase, Robert Ludlum, Wilber Smith, Agatha Christe, Sydney Sheldon to mention but a few, and I must mention here that this iz one very well concocted piece of story. However, this story can be very useful in mitigating the prezent day evil vicez obataining in society.
This fake story again ! We know there is evil out there and here but write something else you liars. This is fake story, you are dull to waste your tears on this one.
So how do u know this story is fake? U seem to know more than we do ( I doubt it)
Iwe monko #31, you have made your point on the photo, but do not trivialize the beating up of journalists outside court by the family of a plunderer by giving a stupid retarded reason as to why they got beaten. Those guys were beaten because the family of a criminal wanted to defend whatever integrity they think this criminal might have. Dont be silly.
Do us all a favour..name the man and have him arrested, tried and convicted. NAME HIM
First, take down the picture of the young girl, ba LT. It is not my child or my relative but you are not being fair to her. The intelligence of a human is judged by how well it can associate facts. The face of the innocent little girl you are parading can easily and mistakenly be associated with the story. You don’t want that.
Second, some people just don’t get it. Saying God bless at this time is plain stupid! Don’t you think the girl needed God when she was being tortured? Didn’t God hear her cry? The girl is damaged. I have had to deal with a retarded brother in law and a 10-year old niece who I ended up adopting. It is hard to believe there is a God that would look the other way when a child cries out for help.
This story is so horrible if you show me this man I’ll kill him. Why hasn’t the law taken its course? He should be exposed!
Ba Lusaka Times take note of what #66 is saying. The relatives of that kid could sue you for insinuating she is being sexually abused by them