By Mwansa Besa
“This is the second time she has done it. The first time she hit me with a bottle. I just want a divorce because next time it might be worse”. These were the exact words which Mr. Mathews Tembo of Lusaka used when a Muvi television crew interviewed him.
Mr. Tembo`s case is yet another addition to the increasing statistics in the number of reported cases of battered husbands.
It is not anybody’s secret that reported cases of battered husbands have been on an increase in Zambia. This leaves one wondering whether the increase could be blamed on the desire by women to be equal to men (Gender equality) or it is a trend that has always been a part of our society, but has largely gone ignored for centuries.
The answer could be any of the above two, both or something else. To me the latter seems to hit home.
From time immemorial a man has always been considered to be the stronger of the two sexes when it comes to both mental and physical abilities. It is against this background that husbands that have had found themselves victims of battering at the hands of their wives have always suffered a lot of humiliation.
Husband battering has always being an endemic part of our society but has unfortunately gone unnoticed in our male oriented society. Mostly it is the victims themselves to blame. Most of them are too ashamed to admit that they victims because of fear of harsh judgment from society.
I remember some years back being a witness to an incidence where one man was laughed at by his friends after word went around that he was battered by his wife. His response was “guy’s naimwe nalifye dizzy no wonder ka madam kanchankwilile. Pantu nganalikanaya ine”. For those not familiar with this copperbelt street lingua, the guy blamed being drunk as a reason why his wife managed to beat him up.
I am sure all men that have ever been victims of this form of abusive can give varied reasons as to why they found themselves in such situations.
It is sad noting that husbands are no longer safe from the people that are supposed to love, protect and cherish them.
I am happy that the media has now started playing an active role in making sure that this issue is brought to the attention of the people.
Spousal battering must be blamed at all costs without any fear or favour and without looking at the sex involved. Probably it is high time men formed organizations with the intention of curbing this vice. Ok, now that we`re talking about male organizations. What about some organization called men for change as opposed to women for change or anti husband battering association of Zambia? Well, I bet this makes some good food for thought.
What happened to days when men used to be men ?
Why batter someone you obviously at some point told you love?? this is chicken shit and a massive shame to men and women who batter their spouse(s).. men you have been warned these women with this so called equal rights are upto no good. i suggest we marry gals who are slightly smaller than us (in figure), just to avoid the embarrassment of calling bashi bukombe ati maddam nanguma or napuma..
Walasa! I am small but if you marry me elo watumpa, I will still clober you!
Shame !!
The labelling of the picture is wrong. Normally, this is public transport in Chipata. I urge the website to remove the labels on the photo or they may be sued by the husband of the woman
Naimwe whether you are sloshed how can you be beaten by a woman,your own rib shame ka Tembo,it shouldn t never happen you are a disgrace to masculinity,seriously.You dont deserve the balls and need to be castrated with a blunt panga.
if i go to the police to report that i have been beaten by my wife they will not arrest her they will just laugh at me and say am not a man even if i tried to avoid the fight but i beat her within a short time even the curse is opened and arrested,i wonder what they call gender equality which only applies to women.Lord have mercy us men also
kukanyesha nga katumpa. I’m just waiting for my chance mukomfwa ati batizimula uko, bamuna banayamba kupusa maningi!nigerian fyola!
Ma husband mu Zambia too much tujilijili no wonder wives are battering them.
ee bangwele ba ku chipata mwakulaponoka nikamukazi ka cibemba kip it up coz bangwele mukatenga ndalama zabumalonda simugula ndiyo bt tujilijili too much teach them a lesson my sista mwaponoka
stanyo ko sindise ba ngwele we are civilized men problem is that bafikala ba kopala ndimwe fikaponya fye matako yobe grow up
All men, let us conspire and make all adult wemen (excerprt) the very old pregnant! Then we will have full control…LoL
Feel like beating my Hubby.
don’t give him a reason to leave your arse!
Beat the shee.t out of them. They don’t appreciate our submissiveness so go brutal. After all we are following in their footsteps.
@ No. 8 Barbed wire, you do not know that we actually choose to be pregnant. You need to negotiate to impregnant anyone so find plan B pls.
“men for change” lmfao
Women have learned to defend themselves from these brutal Zambian men. Bachakolwa! Jealous men who don’t even know how to treat a woman. Shaa.
#2 – I am small but if you marry me elo watumpa, I will still clober you! with a frying pan
Divorce and marry someone you can beat.
Me, My wife like fighting too much. She can’t bet me but when the fight starts, it is usually a bad one. Each time there is a fight at home, its her who starts it. NOW I WANNA MARRY A SECOND WIFE!!!
Some guys are lucky…How I wish my wife clobbered me…I can’t find a better reason to divorce her…My mistress is running out of patience…My girlfriend is threatening to ‘interfere’…
LOL! And your girl friend believes, you will remain faithful to her? And live happily for ever more. LOL!
Nikuchimwenya chikapusa.Some men eish !!!
You come putting on a bombasa and you think i shouldn`t batter you ? I can only spare you if you admire my soft bums.
We are attempting to grow our own mini gdraen this year! We just planted tomatoes and a grapeseed co. soap wrapper (separately!) today and are excited to watch them grow. :)
elo lyanya! beaten or clobbered by a @!))*^^ chakuti…. mayo wandi teti!!! try me i beg you!!!
#19 Pjilanderer.
…… And your girl friend believes you will remain faithful to her? And live happily for ever more? She will clobber you for sure. LOL!
Beaten by the wife ? Musebanya sana.
Infidelity, jealous and hiding of a salary these some of the cause of this battering or clobbered
Men are busy chasing young children, when we are busy looking after their children and keeping the home intact. Lets clobber them.
Men in Chipata should buy bikes for their wifes this is dangerous on the road.
tembo shoulb revenge just at the time she starts gasping for air during the act,believe me tembo,the woman is powerless at this point.apusa maningi uyu mkazi,husband battering is just as bad as wife battering,the much talked about issue.pamene paja akayamba ku kusabaila,tuma mbama tubili,nokasiya na njala moto.
Iyi nkani yavutako.
it is sad that when men come out in the open they become laughing stoke.i ve been a victum of thugly women i strongly feel men need protection as well.it is only that issues are covered women who kill are more than the men who batter rheir wives,men should form an organ to protect them.
just because its a man who has been battered everyone is talking, do you know how many women are battered by their so called husbands per day in Zambia? many, and yet people just look at the issue as a normal one. mwaunfwa ifyo fisobola! ala impumo shilakalipa both physically and emotionally.
Shit! these cases are becoming serious. Hw can a real man be beaten up by his own wife even if she was to be Esther Phiri? Some men jst drink alot hence their wives wait wen they’re drunk & clobber them otherwise its not jst a good game even b4 children. Yeeh !” ba dad ba ba menya kuli ba mummy”.
Clobber them, girl power nizii
LT you lack analytical skills. If the man is “unidentified” how do you know that the lady paasenger is his wife? It could be his sister or other relationship. Secondly, the picture is beautifully romantic but you use it on a story about a wife battering her husband. By implication a man carrying his wife on the bicycle is being abused. This is gutter journalism
Pasop!
nayamba gym akapusa che awe sure kukwapula.am glad women can now defend themselves.
Tembo afwile wa kachasu sana.
Nice article.
Thumbs up to more husband battering.Ladies can i get a thumbs up ?
We have formed an association called ABH (Association of Husband Beaters), you are more than welcome to join.
# 39 that is a good one.lol
Women don’t fight their husbands for no reason. For a woman to raise her hand on her husband, it simply means that she is fade up with the husbands bad behaviour. mostly excessive beer drinking and coming home in the early hours of the morning without leaving money for ration. They just try to pump sense in the empty and senseless husband’s heads.
true dat!
You have a point. And this behavior begins later in their life together.
#27. I THINK THAT WAS ROMANTIC. CHIPATA MEN, CONTINUE BEING ROMANTIC.
I like #28!! though at this**** men are the ones who forget about everything and the world around them because of the pleasure.CHIFUKWA CHO MUPASA YONSE.
You get screwed while you screw. Kulibe vakuti kumupasa yonse…uzinama. When it comes down to bed business, it is silly for one of them to think they can give half. It is either you do it or you don’t otherwise one will go looking for better action outside. Wake up people!
i am not asahmed to say i kicked my ex boyfriends ass when i caught him cheating on me. i clobbered him nicely! and i would do it again. you men are so stupid! bupuba kwamene. ine nimenya no jokes.
i don’t know if the husband cheats but me personally thats grounds to clobber your ass.