Wednesday, April 24, 2024

I want to leave the diaspora and go back home with or without my husband


Dear Editor,

When is enough enough? My husband and I left Zambia 15 years ago.We were doing very well in Zambia and I had a good career. We agreed on staying here for 5yrs, it’s now been 15yrs.I want to go back home, for my sanity. I miss my family, I miss my friends,I miss the food. I am financially reliant on him as he wanted me to be at home to take care of him and our child. Which to be honest has been a blessing.I do not lack financially and I am able to buy nice clothes and anything I need.However, I am bored to death, I am lonely and I am homesick. I want to go back home.

My husband has a social life from his work environment that involves alot of travelling and meetings.I am just home all the time with few friends. We have discussed this extensively but he doesn’t want to leave.I believe we can make it work in Zambia and our child will be able to grow around his cousins.(Due to complications in my pregnancy I will not be able to bear another child). If I leave my husband he will only get to see our child once or twice a year and I wouldn’t want to deprive our child of his father.But I can’t stay here anymore.Please help what should I do?


Lonely abroad


  1. Poyamba vioneka bwino. Ati I have escaped poverty. Only to find there’s other pressing problems on the road

  2. Bwelani kuno. Come and join us and live happily in Zambia. After 15 years, you surely have invested your money.
    It’s important when you come to have your own backyard garden to grow vegetables.

  3. You have to make it work there , you can’t split the family. This is the part of the marriage vows called For better or for worse. Meet more people( preferably females) so that you arent so lonely

  4. The problem is that you are lazy and lack ambition. You are happy being a maid. I have a lot of family and friends there who have kids and both work. Why can’t you also find a job and make your own circle of friends? Even stay at home mothers meet up and make friends with others. You are the problem. Don’t come back here. We have our own problems with upnd

  5. Marrying such women is a loss. They’re are village minded and don’t know what marriage is. They think marriage is giving their husband. Woman, marriage is staying and working together with your husband. You’re his support, don’t be selfish and think of yourself, do things together.

  6. What is marriage? Running away from poverty with a rich suitor? The latter is what some Zambian girls think a husband is for. We marry a friend, a life partner whom we plan a future together. In African custom a family marries another family but now Westerners have told us to forget our families and think of husband and kids only. We are a lost race

  7. Your husband needs to understand that your emotional, social, and intellectual well being is as important as his. When he does, I am sure you can find a win-win solution, whether there or here

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