Thursday, July 25, 2024

Sad Father’s Day


Father’s Day is traditionally a day of celebration, where fathers are honored and appreciated for their role and contributions. Unfortunately, for some of us, this day brings not joy but sorrow and distress. As a father who should be proud of his child, I find myself in a situation of deep turmoil and despair. My wife, whom I am legally married to, and another man, who is in his full mental capacity, have chosen to challenge my paternity. They have decided to claim that this other man is the father of my child.

In such a situation, what is a man to do? As a father, I am supposed to be the leader and the front-runner for my child. Yet, if my fatherhood is being questioned, I find it hard to fulfill this role. The challenge to my paternity makes it difficult for me to maintain my position and responsibilities as a father. If my status as a father is not recognized or respected, I feel compelled to step back and hold myself in reserve.

Personally, I have set rules to protect myself, my spouse, and our relationship. One of these rules is that I do not call people, especially women, after 6 PM. This rule is a safeguard against misunderstandings and potential conflicts. It helps me maintain boundaries and protect the sanctity of my relationship. This is crucial in a world where misunderstandings and misinterpretations can easily lead to complications.

Today, however, Father’s Day feels particularly painful. It feels like a day designed to mock my situation. It feels like a day of disgrace, shame, and unmet expectations. It is a day that highlights the stark contrast between the idealized image of fatherhood and the harsh reality I am facing. Instead of feeling honored and celebrated, I feel humiliated and let down.

In society, men often lack social support, especially when they are going through difficult times. When a man is down, it seems that those around him are more likely to celebrate his downfall than offer a helping hand. This lack of support is disheartening and isolating. It makes it difficult for men to cope with their struggles and find the strength to rise above their challenges.

The fear of other men and people who celebrate another man’s downfall says a lot about their character. It reveals a lack of empathy and understanding. It shows a willingness to exploit someone else’s pain for their own amusement or benefit. This behavior is damaging and destructive, both to the individual who is suffering and to the fabric of society as a whole.

On this Father’s Day, I am not celebrating. Instead, I am reflecting on the challenges and hardships that come with being a father in a complicated and unjust world. I am thinking about the unfairness of having my fatherhood questioned and the pain of not being able to fulfill my role as a father to the fullest extent.

This day, which should be a celebration of fatherhood, has become a reminder of the struggles and sorrows that can accompany it. It is a day that highlights the need for greater understanding, empathy, and support for fathers who are facing challenges. It is a day that calls for a reevaluation of how we view and treat fathers, especially those who are going through difficult times.

In conclusion, Father’s Day is a complicated day for me. It is a day that brings to the forefront the struggles and challenges I am facing as a father. It is a day that highlights the lack of support and understanding for men in difficult situations. But it is also a day that calls for greater empathy, support, and solidarity among fathers and those who care about them.

So, on this Sad Father’s Day, I call for a change. I call for a society that supports and uplifts fathers, especially those who are facing challenges. I call for a world where fatherhood is respected and honored, not just on Father’s Day, but every day of the year.

Chaliafya katungula


  1. Thanks for sharing and I agree with you that men lack the social support. What you are encountering is painful, I am speaking from similar experience. Take time to think about it, not now when you are aggrieved. I managed to overcome that humiliation and now walk with my head high. I actually realized that it was good that I discovered the infidelity earlier as it could have been devastating to discover it later in life. I wish we could speak at length in person. Soldier on!!!

  2. Western culture has poisoned our women. They have a ‘men vs women’ agenda which works against men. They talk about equality while the man has no safety net. He does what comes to him instinctively, protect himself and go out there to hustle life problems, those he has caused and those put on him by his enemies. He is expected go through it.

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