Dear Womba,
Big sis how are you? Hope your trip to Zambia was nice. I’m really dreading the day I go visit again. Going to Zambia has become a complicated affair!
Last time I went, I bought few chocolates and toys for our brothers kids and clothes for mum and dad. After all I’m only entitled to 20kg on the plane.
A few days after I arrived Dad took me to visit our uncle Robert. I thought they would be happy to see me( being their favourite niece and all ) but instead I got lectured about how stingy it is not to buy presents for your relatives. His wife, who had enthusiastically come to greet me quickly excused herself when she realised I hadn’t bought them clothes. I had R250 in my purse which I gave to uncle out of guilt. That was like adding fuel to a fire. It was only worth something like K40 000 which isn’t worth much!( I didn’t realise the kwacha has little buying power- my bad!)
Thankfully dad sensed the tension and we left. Then our brother Clinton came with his wife and 4 kids to see me.I proudly produced the chocolates and toys I had brought. His wife asked why I had bothered buying the same chocolates they have in Shoprite! Clinton also asked he could have my motorola cellphone. If I was a white person they would have noticed how flushed my face was becoming. Later that evening when mum suggested we go visit our grandparents I broke down. I obviously hadn’t bought gifts for them.
I had travelled to Zambia because I missed being home and missed the family. Instead from the moment I had arrived everyone was looking at me expectantly to see what gifts I had bought.The relatives hardly asked how I was. These are people I missed dearly and couldn’t wait to talk and laugh with again. How am I supposed to clothe the entire clan just because I live abroad? Sissy I felt like I don’t belong there anymore and I also don’t belong abroad ,so where do I belong?
Forgive my emotional outburst but that was my experience. On a lighter note I told my Nigerian friend about it and she said ” Sista, you have to go with 62kg luggage when you go back home. No relative cares about you going to see them, there are enough eyes seeing them back home.They care what you bring!
bye for now
Linda