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Wednesday, May 27, 2020

When secrets can not be hidden-Part 1

Columns Feature Column When secrets can not be hidden-Part 1

This girl is not the author of this story but around the same age the author was sexually abused by her rich uncle
This girl is not the author of this story but around the same age the author was sexually abused by her rich uncle

By Indi
I was five year old when I left the southern province with my young sister to go to live on the Copperbelt. The Copperbelt (CB) was the place to be at that time, the mines were giving the best jobs and scholarships, the best private schools could be found here, visas to shop in the UK were unlimited, the Duty Free shops where everywhere and of course it was a big thing to miss the Trade Fair.

I loved the trade fair and took pride in how many candyfloss I could eat in one day. So the idea to travel to the CB and live with my very rich uncle and his wife sounded like was the best thing that could ever happen to me. My parents had allowed us to stay with my uncle for the first three years to be able to attend the mine schools there. As my aunt and uncle had no children, it would be an ideal thing to do but all those details and more did not matter to me as I was going to live in the place of my dreams.

By the time I turned six, the movies, touching games had soon began to be a part of my weekly life. I was afraid to tell because I was just so scared

The first weeks of arriving there were heaven on earth, I had no idea that this would soon change. I soon became my uncle´s sex pet. It all started with simple sexual sayings like, “you do not have your breasts yet at your age?”, “What lovely long straight legs you have!” etc. I took these comments as compliments and also eyeopeners to pray that I would develop fast and have breasts. But I liked being with uncle, he just showed us the best times in life.

The comments would change to small touches on my private parts and chest. I was five years of age and thought it was some kind of game that I really did not want to play. It was then that I started to get weary and shy of being in his presence.

Uncle who was 36 years at the time began to play “games”. Games that were secrets never to be told. Uncle`s game of touch would turn to showing me pornographic movies. My parents never allowed us to watch any form of kissing in any movie, magazine or newspaper. So when the porno movie started, I did what I always did, cover my eyes with my hands and hope that it would soon be over. I never knew what I was watching but it was full of sounds and not words. I run out of the room to my sleeping room. I did not want to disobey my parents.

By the time I turned six, the movies, touching games had soon began to be a part of my weekly life. I was afraid to tell because I was just so scared Then the sexual molestation began, the bait was my young sister. If I refused to do what he said, he told me that he would go after my sister and kill us. I never wanted that. I had to protect my sister. So I surrendered to his demands. I never understood this but I knew this game was not what I ever wanted to play and I just wanted to go home. My aunt was always busy and attended every single party/event there was to attend. After all she was the Boss´ wife and a very important person in the community.

But the holiday we were to come home, my aunt had her first baby and unfortunately we had to stay. But my parents did come and visit us, but I never got around to tell them what was going on. I cried so much the day they came but everyone around me including myself said it was homesickness. My parents were surprised to see that I was no longer carefree (Ii have to admit that I was very lazy in terms of doing house chores) but became so clean and concerned. The truth was, I thought my hard work would make me so tired that I never woke up to do what my molester wanted.

My abuser would soon get tired of his molesting and wanted more. Three days before my seventh birthday, he took me in his big car for a ride with his young son. We rode to a river bank or was that a dam, I never can remember. He took me out of his car and slapped me so hard, I could not understand why. His son was quietly sleeping and I looked around for someone nearby, but there was nobody. He kicked me so hard in my stomach. I was so confused and in pain that I just did not know what to do. It was in my confusion and crying that he raped me. The feeling was like that of the sharpest razor cutting me down there. He told me it was a way to make me feel like a woman, to be mature and he was doing me a favor and if I told anyone he would kill me.

All I did was try to scream, but his hand was over my mouth, and cry and wish never to be a woman because what I felt during the rape hurt me so bad. I was bleeding and thought I was going to die.

When we returned home, he was laughing and being nice and acted like nothing had happened. My aunt noticed my sad face and the blood on my clothes and she asked me what had happened and he was fast to say I had began my menstrual period. I did not know what those words meant and agreed to what he said. I went to bath asking myself did every woman go through this to become a woman? What about my mum, did she go through it too?

I never died that night but I held my sister so hard because I did not want her to feel what I felt. I cried myself to sleep. The next morning the pain was still there and I could barely walk, so I stayed in bed. My aunt came in and told me things about “periods”, something that made no sense to me. She also warned me to stay away from boys as I could get pregnant. The bleeding had eventually stopped but the pain was excruciating. I hated to have to urinate.

Within a week of this experience, my abuser carried on sexually abusing me. I kept asking, how many times do I have to be cut down there to become a woman? As he sometimes came into my room late in the night, I would always be up and awake and loud hoping that my aunt would hear what was going on. But all my efforts were in vain as we lived in a very large house.

That year my cousin had been killed in a car crash, so we had to go to the funeral. As we sat around the fire, I told my abuser´s sister and a number of other relatives that were willing to hear how my uncle had sometimes late in the night come into my room.

….to be continued

[Read 300 times, 1 reads today]


  1. But how did you know about “Visas, schoolarship, good jobs etc” when you were only 5 years old??????

  2. oh my God! that uncle should be castrated no matter how old he is now. And that aunt, denial yamusango shani? Where on earth have you seen someone unable to walk from pain because of periods? Couldn’t she wonder how a girl can go on a road trip with her uncle come back looking so sad with blood on her clothes and in pain?Poor child. Its better for a child to be raised with her poor parents than an abusive uncle.People raise your own kids. I am soo appalled. Where is the pleasure in sticking your big organ in a little girls tiny undeveloped hole (for lack of better terminology) Awe men are sick!

  3. that is the reason that i cant let go of my daughters. i cant trust anyone. this story makes me really sad. I hope part II will end up with the uncle being arrested or something, which i think is unlikely.

  4. This story is such a shock but unfortunately these things are actually happening everyday. It is our duty to expose them. It is only when the righteous keep silent that wickedness prevails.

  5. #3 Tonga Bull, I agree with you. When writting about such stories it would be necessary not to exaggerate because it would make someone not to believe the whole thing to some extent. The period in question gives me an idea that it must have been in the Kaunda days, probably late 70s or early 80s. And things like porn movies weren’t as much to talk about like the author is bringing out as VCRs were not as available as one would hope to say. But never mind, it was a terrible experience.

  6. Miss Daisy hello
    I am doing fine and school is great
    this story is sad. I cant imagine if i went through this.
    even tho i was envolved in these at early stage atleast it were boys of my age and not the sugar dadies. its shocking

  7. sad reading, the only good part of it is that God presevered you even when you had encountered so much pain.

  8. This story is fiction period. if there is any man capable of doing such a thing, then he definitely afunika kumu thena.

  9. #15 Donga obviously VCRs were not available in your compound but wealthy people had them.I grew up in the CB and my rich friends had VCRs and we would go watch ET.
    #16 its because of people like you that abused girls keep silent, who would believe them.Its easier for the mind to accept it as fiction than have to deal with the harsh realities of life.Get your head out of the sand man and help fight this evil thing. As long as you have a mother , sisters or daughters you can’t keep living in La La land.

  10. This only happens in one tribe of our country, I dont know what they eat. Maybe its the busala but they are never satisfied sexually. Both men and women are the same!!!

  11. aha..Abigail, boys your age..il keep the secret, wont tell your mummy……Anyway on a serious note, yes it is sad, maybe its us the older women are to blame.its always a case that the woman in the house is ever busy and ignores all the signs. And belives the hubby more than the innocent child

  12. LUSAKA TIMES: whether that child is the author of the story or not, i dont think its right for you to put a photo of a child next to such a story. the best you could have done is block her face or somthing like that.

    REMOVE THE PHOTO OF THAT GIRL. this site probably has perverts who might go after her. HAVENT YOU HEARD OF CHILD PROTECTION?

  13. Fiction or not, these things do happen and, I would bait my foot on it, they are still going on way more than we think. To me “pedophiles” are the worst ‘scum’ to ever walk the surface of the earth—worse than rapists, in my opinion. Especially the ones who hide behind the “veil” of family to do their evil deeds and abuse their own. Nail this guy and I hope burns a “million times” in hell!!!

  14. #27 Mubita, thats a stupid statement unless u are mbuyaling.Anyway,sad story.Lesson to parents not to leave yo daughters in the hands of uncles and even when you do u better pay attention to their upbringing.Educate them on telling.All this is coz of poverty coz if as a parent u can kip yo kids they cant be this exposed.

  15. Sometimes, I feel like this site is run by perverts who are sick in the head and patronized by docile imbeciles. Honestly, how you publish the picture of that innocent girl? LT must be full of child molesters. This blog stinks.

  16. #27 Mubili oh Mubita, was it mentioned in the story that the uncle is Tonga??? You are full of the same….

  17. #32, pleasse read properly. At age 5 she left Southern province………………………………..We already know about this story and the culprit his known as Hamweete. Is he not Tonga??

  18. sometimes us women tulaba busy showing off kuma parties forgeting our responsibilities at home.
    If the auntie had time for the niece she would have definately gotten a hint on what was going on. She must have been a mean woman too.

    I hope the so called Uncle waz arrested.

  19. #30 Twachula, stop overeacting and generalizing issues. You have to understand that LT can use ANY picture to cover the story and the girl above may not necessairly be the actual victim in the story. There is nothing wrong with this blog, it just makes us aware of what is really going on in our country. Rather, it is comments like yours which are going to keep bloggers away from this site, because they are going to say, why bother to comment on a “stinking site”?

  20. #26 I can’t stop laughing out loud at that picture on your gravatar. Please tell me it’s not your son!

  21. the auntie knew nangu chibe shani, there’s no way were did she think her husband was going in the night? She just turned a blind eye becoz maybe it was easier, this is not like a stranger came to the house n did that, then perhaps chances of missing the signs could be possible but not when something goes on for years awe ine na kana pa zed pipo were in so much denial, i am glad we have come out of that these days where i see wives reporting their husbands ee mano ayo nomba and nway molestation is not limited to tongas this is a global problem n tribal issues need not be brought up here guys lets not go off topic

  22. #43, thats nice, but take time to visit the barber shop am sure after a nice hair do, you will look more handsome. Regards to your wife nad take care! Oh, by the way , pray for me as well, am still seaching for the right rib.But its like all women are just after my money!

  23. I just hope the author of this story has got all the proof ready otherwise this is treading on a very thorny issue judging by the conclusions people are already jumping to & already pointing fingers at some folks. Sadly, of late, child abuse stories have been heard from all corners of the country and it is not a joke at all. This is a very serious national problem. I hope LT will be responsible enough to bring out a story that sticks to the central theme & avoid insinuations that risk deviating attention from the real issue.

  24. #38, I agree with you. To #30, read the caption under the picture, it clearly states the girl in the picture and the author (the real victim) are not the same. I am sure LT used the picture to help capture our immagination about how young the age (5 to 7 yrs) we talking about here. Relax my man!!

  25. #46 Fashion Police, thanks for the advice but my woman loves me even without visiting the barber. I will also pray for you to find that unconditional love. Don’t worry yourself, every stick has it’s hole in the bush…

  26. Nine Chale, how come everytime i try to look at your pic i find Zambia 15, ? where is the handsome pic every 1 keeps refering to?


  28. #51, I changed the “Zambia 15” Gravatar long ago but your computer may not have registered the change yet…It happens. Never mind, it’s just a pic.

  29. # 53..thanks for letting me know bebe, i will take the computer back to the shops… and use yours to view Nine Chale pic

  30. #27 Mubita…. even if you 5tupid, try to act mature when you air comments in public even if its with the veil of LT. You are so dull that you dont even know the origin of the term “Tonga Bull” for your own info, there is what is called “Chicago Bulls” in USA!
    Secondly, are you so 5illy that you think all those staying in SP are Tongas???
    Why cant people on this site be objective for once and discuss issues sensibly? I totally agree with Chibamba Kanyama that this a waste of time….I hope I never have to blog again on here!

  31. #56 Engine Bbuloko, awe wileka ukulasangwa pa LT. You’ll reduce the number of people that objectively contribute on this blog. Calm down mune. In fact you’ll only assure yourself of how good you are if there are some contributions which do not much to your level. 75% of blogging on this site are insults and uncritically thought comments – it is a sure indication of what we are as a nation regardless of whether some are now privileged to become citizens of the country called Diaspora. .

  32. #61..hahaha, a country called diaspora.. I wonder whose the president? maybe we should have a party for that country…Engine fimo fimo , he doesnt mean it.! hel be back

  33. So these defilements started along time ago and its only prominent coz today it is easy to get people to open up now than then. So society yesu kale yabola.

  34. The same reason why people think this story is fake is the same reason why the majority of people in society don’t believe molested victims. Just becasue you don’t like something or your simple mind cannot fathom horrific events , in no way does it make it untrue. For all you know this might be someone pouring their heart out and all you have to say is it’s not true. If you think the story is a lie keep that to yourself because it doesn’t affect you, if someone lies thats on them not you.

  35. #s 38 and 38. Imaginary or real as the story maybe, use of that child’s pic lacks business probity on whoever is running this site. They can’t even have the decency of disguising that child’s face. The story may be a hoax but that child is real and should be protected from unnecessary exposure. Imagine if some kid at school knows her. How much torment would that kid suffer at school all because of a 5illy editor. What kind ethics are these journalist taught? I repeat this site stinks. All the tribal rubbish here stinks. Most of the postings here lack substance even if the story may have some. LT is also politically biased. No different from the POST, Times and all the trash. I stand by the comments on #30

  36. Very touching story. This man does not deserve life on earth. He felt to be satisfied by his wife and always went for a small girl. #71, I totally agree with you. Just because other people think the story is a lie, its the same way they would not believe a young girl in their society or even in their homes that she is being molested. In as much as we want to respect your negative opinions, please keep them to yourselves other than arguing on the blog. To some of you its because you have never been affected by such things like these hence your S.T.U.P.I.D. arguements.

  37. #74 Twachula pafula, you are very I.diot.tic. Go and make your own blog if you think this one is no good for you. We should never ever see your comments on this blog because it will just define how dull you are. I wish LT could block you from posting you stu..pid comments on this blog. Infact, you are the one who stin.ks. To he.ll with you Mother F**ker.

  38. LT, why now, I have a 9yr old pa Z and here I am cracking with books at Monash Uni do you want me to stop school. I just wanna go home and get my girl. Well, thanks you have dampened my spirits and I hope you are happy

  39. very sad to read but it is very common in zambia even if u tell pipo they wont do anything about it

  40. LT – shame on you for placing a photo of an innocent child on this page. Remove it because you are violating her privacy.

  41. Ba LT. You are also a disgrace! How come you did not publish my earlier comment just because it was negative? I deliberately wrote the 2nd message positive to test you. This was my first time to participate on your blog. I will never participate again. Ciao

  42. A point to argue from, a girl cant start her periods @ 7 so her aunt should have argued from there and she shuold have checked her. Defilements are real and really exist but in this particular story, i feel there is something fishy.

  43. God WILL JUDGE this Uncle and Aunt…and the millions of you CHILD ABUSERS out there….Rev 11-15 Then I saw a great white throne and Him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from His presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. If anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

  44. LT ,could you pliz handover this story to law enforcement agencies and have this chap sorted out…its so sad and we can’t keep our ears closed when our little duaghters,niecs,and sisters are being abused…

  45. This is a story that I have waited 45 years to fully tell. From about age seven until I was ten my brother sexually abused me. In one instance he brought two of our male cousins into it. The three of them sexually assaulted me at the same time. There was no one to tell and I knew that no one would believe me so I have stayed quiet all of these years. I married an abusive man and suffered through twenty-one years of marital sexual abuse and rape. I tried to talk about this after I divorced him and his family convinced my children that I was crazy. I am not crazy nor have I ever been crazy. Somehow I have survived.I thank you Lusaka Times for this forum to tell the truth.

  46. sexual abuse is apparently so widespread.i’m honestly still trying to make out what goes on in the mind of a man pouncing on a 7 year old.parents pray for our little girls and protect them.do the same for our little boys as well.thousands of little boys are sexually abused,perfoming acts they can’t comprehend.watch those maids,older cousins,aunties and the like.let’s all unite against this scourge.

  47. The world is demon posesed. Only Christ will change things at His return. Uncles, fathers, brothers, brothers’ in law and even women abuse young boys. Some of the leaders in many societies are culprits. God save us.

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