When President Kenneth Kaunda’s video resurfaced in which he ominously warned against then-candidate Hakainde Hichilema, I, like many who supported HH, brushed it off. Little did I know that ignoring his prophetic words would come back to haunt me. Kaunda, with the precision of a sniper, chose his words carefully, knowing full well the havoc the HH presidency would wreak on our beloved nation. Today, Kaunda’s urgent warning remains etched in our collective memory. He is daily haunted by our stubbornness. “I warned you,” I can hear him mourn from his grave, “this man is dangerous.”
President Kaunda’s admonition was not a whisper in the wind; it was an alarm—a kairos call to help us see Mr. Hichilema’s sweet promises for what they truly are: lies. To understand his humanity, one must see how he treats his opponents—he wants to drink their blood, just short of Idi Amin and Paul Kagame.
The showman-in-chief has since attempted to spin Kaunda’s words into a friendly embrace, smiling from beyond the grave. Yet the sting of Kaunda’s caution comes alive every time Hichilema utters KK’s name, goes to the airport, or sees his portrait. Incapable of governing, Hichilema, with his signature narcissistic flair, must hate Kaunda for so bluntly laying bare the hard truth. If KK is indeed what HH labels him—the father of the nation—then we’d be wise to heed his ancestral guidance about the man now at the helm.
Kaunda knew what many of us have come to realize: Hichilema cares little beyond the reflection staring back at him. He’s the “first president in history” to inherit a divided nation, negotiate with the IMF, and, of course, open the mines—an astounding list of “achievements” worthy of a reality TV show. Let’s not forget his historic crusade against corruption—did someone say monumental? Who investigates himself? Fortunately, he’s also the first to bask in the glory of unplastered toilets, all the while convincing outsiders that Zambia’s beautiful infrastructure is a testament to his visionary leadership. He is the first shameless man with the audacity to take credit for other presidents’ accomplishments—even things he openly demeaned. A champion, indeed! And how could we overlook that he’s the first president to honor the man who warned us he might be the most dangerous person to lead this country? Mr. Hichilema’s followers? Now shamefully terrified to chant “Bally will fix it” in public—there’s no louder applause than in the echoing silence of an unplastered toilet!
Enter the drama of “tribalism.” Like a character in a Nollywood drama, Hichilema weeps and wails, lamenting how his critics are Bemba tribalists and thieves.
One wonders: if the Bembas are tribalists, why did they vote for him? They must be either fools or the most patriotic Zambians—they can’t be both, surely! Yet it’s these “fools” who bear the brunt of the tribalist label. Today, they demand National Registration Cards for civil servants seeking promotions within their own departments. Tribe, village, and chief are now seen as patriotic qualifications! If you are not a commander, it is “passover!”
Today, questioning tribal loyalty is akin to declaring war on the very existence of God. Ministries like Agriculture are dominated by one sacred tribe, yet the president remains blissfully—or perhaps willfully—silent. It is not tribal favoritism, but tribal empowerment. It is affirmative action, the presidency once implied, having suffered years of oppression from despicable tribalists, hegemonists, and thieves. Thus, they do not promote tribes other than their own. Thick as thieves, they only affirm them, drawing the ire of the voiceless masses.
When it comes to voting, tribal patriotism shines brighter than a diamond in the summer sun. A three-decade-long love affair with one divine party and its Christ-like candidate—all aligned with their tribe. Don’t get me wrong! They’re not tribalists; they’re simply tribal patriots. Tribalists are often open-minded, but tribal patriots? They’re as closed off as a rusty lock. Only one among their ranks dares to govern, while the president hurls accusations of tribalism at other tribes yet turns a blind eye to the tribal patriots he relies upon, election after election. Without tribal patriots, his presidency is dead; his party is dead.
Tribalists from Luapula, Muchinga, and Northern gift him over 40% of their ballots. As for tribal patriots, 100% is assured to their sacred party. Why? Because tribal patriots know what’s best for their people—themselves. As for tribalists, they think of the nation. Anyone who promises them sweets, they follow. So did Levy Mwanawasa, Banda, Michael Sata, Edgar Lungu, and, of course, President HH! Like mercenaries, tribalists follow whoever has the purse. Nevers Mumba and Frank Bwalya? President HH is doing great—throwing tribalists into jail unless they kiss his boots. Chishimba Kambwili? Poor GBM? That once self-proclaimed champion, willing to die for HH? Well, now he’s dying in jail—a befitting end for a tribalist, hegemonist, and perhaps, a thief!
Kapya Kaoma!